Slice of Life 3.
Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 5
By TDR
Slice of Life 3.
[Ponyville, Winter, Seshat]
“RAHS! “ Twilight screamed out towards the stairs,” Get your furry butt up! We're going to be late!!!”
Rahs raised an eyebrow from where he was standing by the door behind his sister, already dressed and holding a large brightly wrapped wedding gift.
“Bork.” he stated simply.
“Owch.” Spike offered as he tucked a pair of bolas into a belt under his dress jacket. ”Also he's right, we have three hours still. Getting ready this early for a five to ten minute walk is a bit much.”
“Woof?” Rahs asked gesturing to the bolas as he fiddled with the tie he was wearing.
“Oh these? They're in case Applebloom tries for the bouquet.” Spike offered.
“Woof?” Rahs asked confused.
“Tossing the bouquet is a tradition that stems from before the unification. Mares used to try to rip pieces of the bride's dress and flowers in order to obtain some of her good luck. To escape from the crowd the bride would toss her bouquet and run away. Today the bouquet is tossed to single mare with the belief that whoever catches it will be the next to marry.” Twilight explained ignoring Rahs' 'surprise being up and on time for once' nonsense. ”Is that why you've been practicing with those things all week? I thought you liked Applebloom?”
“Yep and I do like her, but one, we're still in school, and everyone freaks out at any hint of us kissing I don't wanna see what the reactions would be if she manages to grab the flowers. Two I've seen how mares can get at these things, remember the brawl at the last wedding?” Spike questioned.
“Of course I do, I won three hundred bits off that fight.” Twilight smirked. “I knew Rarity was going to cheat.”
“Right, and this time Sunset, Trixie, Jynx, Saturnia, and Applejack are going to be at the wedding, as well as Rarity.“ Spike offered. ”By stopping Applebloom from getting involved, I'm probably saving her life.”
Rahs whined a little.
“Sorry dude, I don't have any more bolas. Heck I'm surprised these made it in time for me to practice with after I ordered them.” Spike offered. “Not that I think even expertly thrown bola's would stop any of your girls, or Rarity.”
[ Canterlot]
“Lulu? Are you ready to go yet?” Celestia called out.
“That depends, do we need to pack a spray bottle to keep you and Chrysalis apart?” Luna questioned.
“Wait, she's going to be there?”Celestia questioned.
“Yes, she's a friend of the bride.”
“Hold on I need my hammer.” Celestia turned .
“NO! You traumatized all the Guards and some old ponies last week, this week you are going to be civil or we are leaving you at home!” Luna snapped.” Which means no wedding cake.”
“But Luuluuuu.” Celestia whined.
“NO!”
[ Friendship Express, southbound towards Ponyville]
“I'm still not happy I wasn't chosen to preside over the wedding.” Cadence huffed. ”After all I did for him.”
“We know Cady, you've been regaling us with that complaint for the last eighteen hours nonstop.” Shining Armor pointed out as he flipped through a gaming magazine.
“You're edging close to sleeping on the couch with that tone buster.” Cadence huffed.
“What was it you said to me last time you were in the dog house?” Shining questioned without looking up. ”In a relationship triangle like ours if one partner isn't in the mood or angry, the other one is still available?”
Chrysalis leaned up over the back of Shining Armor's seat and wiggled her eyebrows at Cadence.
" Just saying you're annoying me too Cady.” Chrysalis offered.
“I hate you both right now.” Cadence growled.
“Good thing it's a big couch then.” Chrysalis murred.
“Any way, why are you upset? It's being presided over by Iinii not Celestia, she's a guest same as you, so what ever competition you have going on with her for wedding presiding doesn't matter here.”Shining Armor pointed out.
“Wait!? Celestia's gonna be there? Is it too late to go back and get my swords?” Chrysalis asked.
“Yes.” Shining and Cadence both stated.
[Ponyville]
“Are you girls ready to go?”
The deep rumbling voice had the three mares look up from their work on arraignments as a massive figure ducked his head to enter the shop. The flower trio had thought their shop had a tall ceiling until they had met the massive Nox Cal, Nocturne they were currently dating.
Lodestone blinked, the massive nox-cal looking nervous at the way the three mares were looking at him in his black suit. He ran a claw like hoof up though his close cropped fuchsia colored mane, his brilliant orange scales glinting in the light through his burnt sienna colored fur as he moved.
“Almost, Lodey.” Rose offered as she turned back to work on an arrangement.
“We're finishing up the last few set pieces, most of them are already over in town hall these are just a few filler pieces and the Bouquet.” Daisy offered.
“This one's tricky, given who all was invited to the wedding the flowers for the bouquet have to be both durable and pretty, and I'm not talking just able to withstand a few bumps and some jostling. I mean these have to be durable enough that they could knock out a dragon if thrown hard enough.” Lily explained pulling a welders mask back over her face as she fired up an acetylene torch and went back to working on the flowers. “We'll be done soon enough and join you out there.”
Lodestone blinked at that and nodded, backing out to let the trio work without distraction.
[Sugar Cube Corner]
“Cake cake cake cake cake!” three year old Pound Cake chanted beating his fore hooves on the table.
His sister Pumpkin tired of the noise, grabbed a cup in her magic and bounced it off her brothers head dumping juice all over him.
Pound responded in kind by starting to throw things back at her.
Carrot Cake sighed before trotting over to the squabbling pair looming over the two before leaning his head down between their bickering.
“Stop it.” Carrot cake said simply with the small hint of a growl.
The two foals stopped, blinked and went silent.
Carrot shook his head and started toweling off his son. This had been a hectic three years since the pair were born. Not just from all of Ponyville's usual chaos, but due to a few suggestions from some ponies he knew, Carrot doubted at first the foals were his. This had made him unconsciously distance himself from forming an attachment to the foals at first, and his wife had pointed out he seemed cold and angry regarding them and her.
He finally had some tests done on them when Cupcake left the foals in his care and went off to visit her sister for a week.
The tests proved that those suggesting Cupcake cheated on him were full of shit. The foals were indeed his.
Unfortunately due to how he acted when he thought other wise, the foals had grown to be wary of him despite his improved mood around them. As such when they were being bad he was the one who was the disciplinarian of the couple rather than his wife who had expected to hold that role.
Really every pony expected the foals to walk all over Carrot.
“Cake?” Pound questioned.
“After our work is done, and only if you two are good.” Carrot offered. “No screaming, and no throwing things.”
“Okay.” they both chimed up.
Carrot looked down at them both before he smiled and headed back towards the kitchen to check on his wife was progressing with the finishing touches on the wedding cake.
“For the love of Celestia Vinyl, YOU ARE NOT A VAMPIRE!!” Octavia shouted.
“As far as you know.” Vinyl growled from the darkness of her room.
“Yes, as far as I know, and I know you are not a vampire, you were sunning in the yard last week and didn't burst into flames.”
“SPF 6000. Works great.”
“SPF of that level would be paint, or latex.”
“Oh ho, does little Tavi have a fetish?” Vinyl chuckled.” How else would you know the SPF of latex?”
“SHUT UP!! We are going to be late to the wedding if you do not get up right now.” Octavia shouted.
“You're not my mom.” Vinyl snapped.
“Yes I am. I had you in the past, but I was born in the future. And I'm telling you, it's great there. The air is clean. The water is clean. Even the dirt is clean! Bowling averages are way up. Mini-golf scores are way down, and we have more excellent water slides than any other planet we communicate with. I'm telling you, this place is great, but it almost wasn't. You see, seven hundred years ago, the Great One ran into a few problems. So now I had to travel back in time to help out. If I should fail to keep you along the correct path, the basis of our society will be endangered. Ah, but don't worry: it'll all make sense. I'm a professional. “ Octavia ranted.
“What? Really?” Vinyl blinked sitting up.
“No you idiot, now get up if you want to get paid, we have a job to do.” Octavia huffed.
“Heinous...” Vinyl grumbled.
[Town Hall]
“Well this is going surprisingly well.” Bon Bon offered looking over the decorations. The flowers were all in place, with the Flower Trio still moving around arraigning things. A group of changelings had been hired to set up the furniture and they were going over last minute details, like how to get the massive buffalo that was to preside over the wedding into the building without knocking everything over.
“With you by my side, I knew we'd get it done in time.” Lyra offered
“There is nothing like a 'best' friend, is there?” Bon Bon chimed in.
“Oh by the stars, the sap.” Minuette whined.
“What sap? We're just friendly....”Lyra sing songed.
“Reeeeeaaaaaaaaaaally friendly” Bon Bon added with a bit of a leer.
“You two are never going to let me live down I didn't notice you were dating for four years are you?” The blue unicorn huffed.
“Of course not.“ Moon Dancer smirked. “I was pretty much a social recluse for that time and even I noticed.”
“Be glad Lemon and Twinkle are busy with the reception food, or you'd be hearing it from them too.” Lyra laughed.
“Speaking of things unnoticed. Where's your minder Minuette?” Shining Lights asked.
“Hmm, oh he's over there pretending to eat the flowers and terrifying the Flower Trio.” Minuette gestured a hoof towards a small white rabbit floating around a large floral arrangement dodging Lily's attempts to drive him off with a broom.
“You know with how often we saw that little tag along of yours I'm surprised it took me as long as it did to realize White was involved when I first showed up at the Crystal Empire.” Moon Dancer shrugged.
“Perils of making something of interest to the god of time I guess.” Minuette shrugged.
A loud roar cut off any further conversation.
“What the heck was that?” Shining Lights asked.
“Prolly some monster attacking Ponyville again.” Lyra shrugged. ”Picked a bad day to do it too.”
“Villain of the week or something from the Everfree?” Bon Bon asked in the same nonchalant tone.
“Is this normal?”Minuette demanded the white rabbit following her now hiding in her mane.
Lyra moved to look out the window. ”Monster, looks like a bee bear or something.”
“A bee bear huh that's...” Bon Bon trailed off before rushing over to the window staring at the Bug Bear looking to start a rampage. Granted at the moment it looked like it was about to attack a well dressed white unicorn mare and a well dressed black unicorn stallion.
“The Bug Bear it found me....” Bon Bon.
“What are you talking about Bon Bon?” Lyra questioned.
“My name isn't Bon Bon. It's "Special Agent Sweetie Drops". I work for a super-secret anti-monster agency in Canterlot called EIS, or at least I did until the bugbear went missing from Tartarus a few years back.” Bon Bon offered.
“Wait isn't Tartarus guarded by two gods? When and why did Canterlot try and put a agency in Tartarus. That's stupid.” Minuette offered.
“Well it is the Equestrian Intelligence agency, not the Equestrian 'we're smart' Agency.” Moon Dancer responded.
“That makes no sense.” Lyra complained.
“You've clearly never dealt with government before.” Moon Dancer sighed.
“I can't tell you any of that. You don't have the clearance.” Bon Bon frowned.
“I have green tea cake level clearance.”Minuette offered.” I do dental work for nobles and royalty. I was one of the first to know about Princess Luna and that Sombra was alive and in Canterlot.”
“I've got Triple espresso roast level clearance.” Shining Lights pointed out. ”Heck I make half the spy gear the EIS uses.”
“I know things.” Lyra shrugged.
“I have Chocolate Angel Food level Clearance, Truck-Kun clearance, as well as Shoggoth's Milk Level clearance.” Moon Dancer offered. ”And if Twilight ever develops a Princess level clearance for information I'll probably have that too.”
“She's not a princess.” the others chimed up reflexively before giggling.
Bon Bon stared at the group in clear confusion.
“Oh relax, the group of us were part of Celestia's School the same year as Twilight Sparkle, while none of us are at her level...” Shining Lights began.
“Debatable.” Moon Dancer huffed pushing up her glasses up with a hoof.
“ You're not an alicorn.” Lyra pointed out.
“Yes, and what has that done for her?” Moon Dancer raised an eyebrow.
“Point.” Lyra shrugged.
“Any way. While we may not be at her level, we're all considered geniuses.” Shining Lights continued.” Except maybe Minuette who couldn't figure out you two were dating for four years.”
“Buck you Lights.” Minuette huffed.
Cranky and Matilda watched as some strange combination of a bug and a bear, a bug bear if you will, was getting mauled by shadows and black crystals while two very well dressed ponies stood nearby directing the assault.
The pair turned to watch as a series of ponies rushed past heading into town hall where a lot of yelling was going on.
“Oh My.” Matilda gasped.
“See this is why I was so insistent we had our wedding some where else last month. “ Cranky huffed as the Bug Bear was launched back into the forest at a speed that made it look plaid. “This town is just too crazy.”
[ Train from Canterlot]
“Jer'rahd? What are you doing here?”
The gray furred unicorn stallion opened one eye looking up at the short gray pegasus standing in the aisle as the train clacked down the rails.
“I could ask you the same thing Starfall.” Jer'rahd smirked.” I thought you didn't like trains.”
“I'm headed to Ponyville.” Starfall smirked in return. “ I didn't want them to see my coming by flying in.”
“Ahh heard the same thing I did then?”
“Of course. I missed Shining Armor's wedding as Princess Cadence called in a favor to get me to stay home.” Starfall explained before grinning more. ”I'm not going to miss a second chance to join a gathering of all the little birds who made it through a unrestricted class of ours.”
“Princess Cadence talked to my wife to stop me from crashing her wedding, but otherwise I'm here for the same reason as you.” Jer'rahd grinned wider.
The pair of them started cackling like mad.
Luna and Celestia peered in from the door to the next train car.
“Those two are evil.” Luna offered as Celestia nodded sagely.
[Ponyville later]
“And thus by the power invested in me as God of the Buffalo and the Snows, as a member of the Council, and by Larry's Roadside Ordainment and Casino of Los Pegasus...” Iinii concluded, the Buffalo god some how managing to fit in the building and still seem bigger than the building. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
The gathered crowd at the wedding all screamed out and cheered as Ditzy Doo and Comet Trail kissed.
The pair married on the date of their first meeting
“Finally after all this time, my planning has come to fruition. MUHWAH HA HA HA!!” Dinky cackled, the dress the filly wore making it hard for many to look at her with how adorable she was. A few hearts had to be restarted when she came down the aisle with the flowers, Mr. Tiny Sniffles following behind in a custom Tux with the ring pillow balanced on his massive head.
“Okay she is absolutely adorable when she does an evil laugh.” Star Scream pointed out. The pegasus Heart Guard in his dress uniform for the wedding.
“To be fair, pretty sure she's adorable no matter what.” Bedrock offered. The large Royal Guard Earth Pony was also in his dress uniform.
“This is true. I almost feel sorry for any colt that catches her eye.” Light Hook offered. The unicorn heart guard smirked as he shifted uneasily in his uniform.
“Really, cause I've heard she's interested in one already, a colt from Trottingham, Pipsqueak or something.” Swiftshot offered, the former Night Guard having needed to retire due to the injuries he sustained fighting Sombra in the Crystal Empire. No one was quite sure why he moved to Ponyville or even tolerated the presence of Sombra here. Though the pair of them didn't interact if they could help it.
“SHE WOT?!?!” Pipsqueak yelped from nearby the guard stallions.
The town hall had cleared out rather quickly, leaving only a hoof full inside. The rest were gathered outside with a range marked off for what Shining Armor's shield would cover.
All were placing bets of course.
Ditzy stood by a window ready to throw the bouquet inside before Shining put up his shield.
Inside were seven figures.
Jynx was unsure what this tradition was until Cadence explained the one to catch the bouquet would receive good luck and it was often thought it would signify the one who caught it would be the next to marry, then she was all in. The large diamond dog glanced to her left, where Witch-Jack stood, both of them wearing rather nice dresses Rarity had made that fit their forms.
Applejack looked at Jynx and frowned.
“Ain't no peace fer this.”
“Indeed.” Jynx nodded.
Trixie shifted nearby tensing up as she cricked her neck.
On the other side of her Saturnia had taken a Abyssinian form and was shifting to limber up as well as she adjusted to the cheetah forms speed, trying to figure out how to crank it up higher. Next to her Sunset coughed a little.
“Our deals off for this event.” Sunset stated.
“Of course.”Saturnia grinned.
Rahs peered in the window looking at the group, whimpering a little. He continued to ignore Spike demanding his help as the dragon had managed to tie himself up with his own bolas. Applebloom was sitting next to him just poking Spike with a hoof, wondering what he had even been trying to do.
Back inside, Rarity stood on the other side of Jynx, her fur already dark gray with shadowy tendrils lashing around.
Sombra stared nervously through another window with Cadence and Celestia looming behind him with large grins.
The final pony in the room made everyone nervous, a large red stallion in particular.
Twilight Sparkle smirked, her wings fanning as she waited for Ditzy to throw the flowers.
“We just had this place rebuilt...” Mayor Mare whined to Raven as Ditzy tossed the flowers and the shield was raised.
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Well, I absolutely love Octavia's rant, and the interaction of the Celestia's School alumni. I don't recognize the two ponies on the train, though.
Wow, she managed to throw it in the right direction?
Bill and Ted, Spaceballs Movie, Nightmare Weddings.
Its the Deal Of The Centuary folks, and I can see many of you quivering in your bunkers on the horizon as the solar flare from the Dark Ship plunging into the sun, touches down at the peak of the performance.
Is anyone else thinking that most of the taxes in Ponyville are spent on repairs.
10789524
Shining and Comet Trail's Drill instructors. Jer'rahd Kaisur and Starfall Silvertail. The pair of them were considered horrific demons by every one they trained. Moon dogs still have to deal with nightmares about them
10789525
There shinings trainers I think
10789524
They are from the stories in stone series. In this the first story of this series they had a cameo as the trainers for shining armors cadet group
Why did this get the number 3 when there's no previous parts?
Okay, that was hilarious and adorable. So it's Rahs' five girls, Rarity, and Big Mac who are fighting over the bouquet? nice
10789591
Not Big Mac, Twilight.
*Unconsciously
Also, who are Starfall and Jer'rahd?
Time for more repairs to Ponyville town hall.
Kind of annoyed that this didn’t show Time Turner in this episode.
10789585
See the author's note.
I feel sorry for both rahas and Big Mac right now
Most excellent Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure reference there author dude!
And that flower toss is NOT going to end well for the building.
*british snickers*
10789595
The Drill sergeants of Shining armor and Comet Trail as well as a few others at the wedding
My money's on Rarity for the bouquet melee (hey, that rhymes)
10789556
A good 80-90%
With this story so far, I don't know what to NOT believe anymore too.
Not to mention she has been visiting by a God of Time since she was young.
10789756
Yelp and one of the Vorpals is her minder
10789794
It would be even amusing if she end up going out with her minder. I have read some stories about Starlight x Angel ship before somewhere.
10789591
Spike is gonna get it, and Lyra will win the bet... again.
For all that is Unholy run she just threw it!!!!!!
10789993
Shining has his shield up, which should limit the damage.
10790024
“Should” doesn’t necessarily mean it “will”.
If it isn't to late, I would like to put my bits on the flower sisters ending up with the flowers.
Oh wow, this is gonna be violent
And that might still not be enough
...I feel like this is a reference
Oh yeah, poor Bug Bear
Given her a lot of headaches
Probably for the same reason that Comet agreed to work there
Well if it's true you'll find out soon enough, now that she's finished getting her mother hitched she can begin focusing on her own love-life
Naturally
Did you at least get it insured?
10790121
Shining's shield was powerful enough that Tirek couldn't break it.
res.cloudinary.com/teepublic/image/private/s--rpWi8c8Q--/t_Preview/b_rgb:484849,c_limit,f_auto,h_630,q_90,w_630/v1486752336/production/designs/1205132_1.jpg
Okay, let’s see:
As for Twilight’s seemingly inevitable princess level clearance code, my initial suggestion is, “Singularity”.
Yay wedding time! Also, force of habit on Twilight's part there.
1. Twilight gonna Twilight
2. It's Ponyville.... you know something is going to come up. Granted a bugbear would just be a stain on the ground if it tried it with these characters.
The dragon knows how to be prepared.
............ He is not wrong......
..... once again.. where is the lie?
......... Wow... this chapter is just spitting all the hot facts.
Come on..... it can be a new tradition! The post wedding death battle! The more times the two kill each other before calling it quits, the greater the luck for the new couple!
.... okay this.... this is anew twist..... I like it! Also..... poor Spike incoming?
Really.... really going with that tired old bit of "Let's make the show unnecessarily dark because it's so fun" fan wank? Even if it isn't true even here, adding in that little twists of things? Story..... I am disappoint.
But....I can't stay that way with you when everything else is just so damn fun!
Given I really don't think anyone in town would be insane enough to hold the wedding on a Tuesday, that take it from 'normal' to 'not unexpected'.
Ah..... bye bye Bugbear. I'm going to assume Sombra has a sword either on him, or within easy reach.
Nothing said the agency was 'in' Tartarus, just that it dealt with monsters, and something happened with one who had escaped Tartarus.
Clearly the higest security clearance of all.
Also, those clearance levels... simply knowing what to call them is all the proof you need to have it, isn't it?
Made her immortal and boosted her already innate ability to understand and copy magic to... well literal godly levels.
And given the degree to which nopony was saying their names..... yeah saw this 'twist' coming.
D'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
7/10, cute but not really menacing. Ask Sweetie for some pointers on a true adorable evil laugh.
Naturally
Ah, smart. Last one alive gets to claim the bouquet and leave!
Which is kind of weighted in Jynx's favor..... and I am okay with this.
Oh....... oh crap.
Alright that was really nice fun and I loved it.
That poor poor town hall......
Yeah I couldn't look at the regulation on 'Military Intelligence' without laughing
Ah yes, the only being smarter than Twilight strikes again
Jer'rahd? Starfall? Who are they?
Wait WHAT?! Ditzy Doo is getting married? Why do you keep skipping these details
Also on the bouquet toss
*looks at the ones gathered* ...buck this *flings the flowers and flies away at maximum plaid*
Don't worry, you will be Princess Big Mac some day
I know this is from the comics but bonbon is an agent of SMILE. Shrug
10795987
Simple. The EIS is her cover story agency. :P
Dr. Who... Poor dude
Dear god... Marry a dreammare that is a Nightmare and your sleep will never be boring
Big Mac might be lucky...
Great chapter. Mastermind Dinkie on the run
Straight to LUDICROUS SPEED... damn really was a bad day to attack
... how does TDR know the SPF of latex? Actually, I don't wanna know.
Magnificent random mini story
Guess Dinky will save us from Diamon Tiara?
Made her life even more stressful