Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 5
By TDR
Party Phantasm,
Part One
[Ponyville, after Winter Wrap Up, Le-ho- Foxes]
A group of eight ponies sat around a table laden with noodle bowls, small boxes, and various other food stuffs as a kitsune with three tails wandered around behind the shops counter prepping a meal for another customer.
“So she just asked you to do it?” Sunset questioned, popping a piece of sweet and sour chicken into her mouth.
“Yup, in three days the Yak delegation will come to Ponyville for talks.” Twilight offered munching down on some fried rice. ”I'd like everyone's help with that if you don't mind?”
“Sure. Ah suppose ah ken help, little to early yet tah do much mor'n watch seeds grow so ah got a few free days.” Applejack shrugged, the farm pony practically inhaling a big bowl of beet chow mein.
“Sure it'll be a party and I love parties.” Pinkie Pie added, it was any ones guess what she was eating as she seemed to be stealing a little from everyone elses plate to try it.
“I'm not sure what I can do, but I'll try to help.” Fluttershy offered, the mare was the only one aside from Sunset and Pinkie Pie who had figured out the chopsticks, though she was currently using them to effortlessly fend off Pinkie who was trying to snag one of her spring rolls.
“Yeah I'm down, maybe put some of this crap Prince tricked me into learning to use.” Rainbow Dash offered making a mess of her self with her shrimp and cashew meal.
“Of course darling I would love to assist if it means that the trade for that wonderful fur of theirs will be back on the market.” Rarity offered with a flourish of her fork as worked on her broccoli and garlic.
“Fur?” Sombra questioned calmly munching on Tsu's tofu.
“Yes, like us yaks tend to shed seasonally though with how long and thick their hair is they often treat it and sell it, it was one of their main exports the last time there was a trade agreement.” Rarity sighed.” I've only ever seen one outfit made of yak fur and it was the softest warmest thing I have ever experienced, sooo many ideas of what to do with that. Do you think if we succeed I might be able to get a deal of my own going for the material?”
“I don't see why not, though didn't you just strike a deal with Jynx?” Twilight questioned.
“Yes I did, though it is going to be some what of a hard sell despite how lovely leather is as a material is.” Rarity sighed.
“I rather wish you wouldn't” Fluttershy muttered.
“Darling if a creature is going to die to be a meal for some one else would you rather as much of it be used as possible, or just the meat and leave the rest to rot?”
“I'd rather they didn't at all.” Fluttershy muttered to herself.
“Fluttershy dear, when you are able to convince carnivores to turn to a vegetarian diet without them dying horribly as they waste away from malnutrition I'm sure leather will go away too, but for now I will take advantage of any new material I find.” Rarity stated, seeming a little vindictive in her tone towards Fluttershy.
Twilight glanced to Pinkie, who shrugged and tried to steal a piece of Sweet and Sour chicken without getting flash fried by Sunset. Clearly something had come up with this before. Probably like the bat thing to be honest. Pinkie had said Fluttershy got a bit out of control sometimes.
“So what did you need me and my cousin here to do?” Sunset asked gesturing to Sombra.
“To be fair.. avoid the delegation at all costs.” Twilight muttered.
Sombra and Sunset both looked at Twilight then looked at each other.
“That's a fair cop.” Sunset shrugged as Sombra went back to eating.
“Seriously, no offense, but I was told the Yak's were temperamental, and Sunset your temper is shorter than mine. Sombra the Yaks are from near the Crystal Empire and well, you have a history there.
Sombra shrugged.
“It's fine Twilight, I can lay low if you need me to.” Sunset offered.” What about Rahs and Applejack though, don't the Yaks have some sort of legend about Witch Wolves too?”
“Oddly no. Which makes little sense as they were supposedly both at war with and sided with the Crystal Empire during the war of the night.” Twilight frowned.
“It is not that surprising.” Sombra added. “If I recall correctly the Yaks were never on any ones side during the war but their own, not mercenaries either. They were just as likely to attack the Empire's forces as they were to attack the other side. As soon as someone called them on it they closed their borders for the rest of the war. I think it was Bleu who had a talk with them, so that reaction was completely understandable.”
“I really need to pick your brain for all that history one of these days.” Twilight muttered.
“Good luck Sparkle, I know tidbits. For the majority of the war I was a foal, and then an emotionally compromised teenager. By the time I started to get a handle on everything Solomon's trap sprung and I woke up to fight you.” Sombra explained. “And I wasn't too interested in anything for that window but sulking and trying to hold together a failing empire.”
“Still. Any way I'll draw up some plans based on what I've learned from the books and I'll get those to you so you can set up a bit later today.” Twilight smirked.
“Great since you're getting us to help you, does that mean you're buying lunch?” Pinkie Pie asked.
Twilight stopped smirking.
[Three days later, morning, Seshat.]
“Prince Rutherford, your Majesty. On behalf of all of us, I welcome you to Equestria.” Twilight Sparkle smiled welcoming the Yak delegation into the main foyer of the castle. Rahs, Big Mac, and Spike stood nearby also going with a bow to the Prince. The three yaks with Prince Rutherford looked around curiously as they entered.
“Me honored. Yaks hope for great friendship between ponies and yaks. Friends for a thousand moons!” The Prince stated before looking around, then eyeing Twilight. “You are Princess Twilight Tuesday Sparkle?”
Rahs and Spike barely held back snickers and Twilight let out a calming sigh.” Yes your majesty I am, though it's a name more than a title.”
Prince Rutherford eyed Twilight a moment more before snorting. “Much smaller than me expect. Ah well. Not first time me disappointed with female.”
Twilight blinked a little confused though she shook her head, gesturing to the next room. Big Mac however glared at the Prince like he was contemplating beating him with his own horns.
“You must be hungry after a long journey.” Twilight continued. ”We've prepared a banquet of traditional yak foods. “
“If things not perfect, yaks get mad. Yaks always get mad when things not perfect!” Prince Rutherford offered as the group headed into the room with the food Spike and several chefs Twilight had found had prepared.
The trio watched the yaks enter the dining hall and begin to eat without much ceremony. The other three seemed to be enjoying themselves though the Prince only took a small taste before bellowing,.
“This no taste like yak food! Fake pony food make yaks mad!” Prince Rutherford screamed out.
The four of them watched as the group started rampaging and smashing things in the dining area ruining the food and the furniture.
“Okay … small set back.” Twilight muttered.
“Right.... “ Spike sighed. ”I can see how this day is going to go.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac added.
“I think I prefer Twilight's experiments.” Seshat grumbled, her voice sounding some what shaky as the whole castle seemed to vibrate with the rampage going on.
[ Sweet Apple Acres]
“So with what I've read about your homeland and living spaces I've asked my friend Applejack to set up more traditional yak living quarters at her home. With the weather like it is, it's still cool enough outside to feel closer to how it is in the mountains.” Twilight explained as the group approached the orange mare standing at the door to the barn the family recently built last month.
“Howdy y'all. So we know y'all are noble warriors who avoid the so-called finer things, so me and my family set this up fer yah. Applejack opened the barn door for the yaks.
“Hmm this not bad.” Prince Rutherford offered as he and the others wandered in looking over the beds and simple designs of the sleeping quarters they were granted.
“Thanks for this Applejack.” Twilight sighed as Rahs watched the yaks move around the barn checking out everything.
“No problem, so how's it been going?” Applejack asked.
“WAIT THIS NOT YAK HAY!”
“Kinda like that.”
“What tha hay is yak hay?” Applejack questioned glancing up to Rahs.
“YAK SMASH!!” Prince Rutherford bellowed as the group started trashing the barn.
Twilight rubbed her temples with her hoof as the barn crashed down to rubble, the yaks still smashing it.
“I am really sorry about this.” Twilight muttered.
“Ehh . It's okay, “ Applejack shrugged. “We hadn't lost a barn yet this month and ah was a little worried ah'd have tah burn it down maiself.”
“What?” Twilight blinked.
“Yaks gonna die now.” Pinkie Pie growled, her hair losing all it's poof as she advanced on the group as they rampaged while Fluttershy did her best to rescue all the animals they were stomping around..
“Pinkie Stop.” Twilight called moving between the delegation and the pink mare.
“Twilight my friend, you know I love you, but you also know how I get when Fluttershy is being threatened and she was nearly stomped, several times. So I am acting fully appropriately, and not going through you right now to get to them.” Pinkie growled. “That will last ten more seconds. Move!”
“Svengallop.” Twilight frowned starring down Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie paused, twitched, sat down and shoved her fore hooves into her straight mane pulling hard on it as she screamed out into the sky
“Ooh good war cry. Yaks approve” Prince Rutherford offered .
A moment later Pinkie's mane was poofy again and she turned back to face Twilight.
“All right, okay, all right, yup, okay, sure.... but we're even now.” Pinkie offered.
“Thank you.” Twilight sighed.
“I'm still gonna set up tonight's party, but neither Shy or myself are gonna be there, otherwise it would be a very dangerous time to be a yak.” Pinkie stated ”Particularly when Shy gets over her panic and shock and realizes these guys just tried to stomp some baby animals.”
“Right.” Twilight sighed looking at the yaks, and noticing there were only three now. “What?”
Twilight blinked as Rahs pointed down to an angry looking white rabbit.
“Oh for the love of.....” Twilight growled. ”Alright, alright, come on, we've got other events to get to.”
“Where Ronco?” the prince asked looking around for the missing yak.
“Ahhh.... bathroom break.” Twilight offered sheepishly.
“Ugh he gonna take all day. Come Ronco can catch up.” Prince Rutherford nodded.
Rahs glared at Angel Bunny, who glared back. The moon dog waited until the yaks weren't looking before giving the rabbit a big grin and double thumbs up, before dropping the expression and following his sister and the yaks.
Angel rolled his eyes with a huff and hopped over to Fluttershy.
“How are they mad about the snow?” Rainbow Dash tilted her head in confusion as the yaks rampaged.” I even got them to crank out some polycrystal snow cause that's what the book said was the most common type in the mountains? Do you know how hard that stuff is to make? I had to call in all my favors with Fireball and the team.”
Prince snorted in amusement behind her.
Twilight twitched.
“I expect the bigger question.” Prince Blueblood offered. ”Is why are you putting up with this nonsense Twilight?
“Because I'm the god of friendship and the yaks are so solitary and standoffish that the possibility of making friends with them is enticing in its own right.” Twilight grumbled.
“Bork.” Rahs added.
“And my idiot brother thinks I'm trying to prove something to Celestia still by doing something she couldn't” Twilight growled.
“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Rainbow Dash nodded.
Rarity drew in a deep breath, resting a hoof against her forehead as she composed herself.
“Twilight...... darling......”Rarity began. “At no point in the entire three hour lecture you gave me on yak fashion did you inform me that there would be A TASTE TEST!?!?”
Rarity snarled, her form turning dark as the shadows around her thrashed.
“Please Twilight darling, give me one reason, ONE reason, why I should not go in there and pluck them all bald a hair at a time and TAKE that fur of theirs to pay for the damage they caused to my shop?”
“ The budget Celestia gave me is big enough to cover everything, plus a great deal in repairs and can easily cover the damages to your shop.” Twilight offered.
“That's it?”
“You only asked for one reason.”
“Yes well... I suppose that is on me then, I set the bar too low.” Rarity sighed.
“Piano play itself?! Music a lie!” Prince Rutherford bellowed.
“Oh shit!” Spike yelped, as he rolled away as his piano was smashed. Prince Rutherford reared up again over the dragon though the expected stamp never came. A navy blue form slammed into the side of the yak sending the massive figure stumbling to the side before crashing to the ground.
The other two yaks gasped, though before they could react a magenta aura surrounded them both and lifted them in the air to flail uselessly.
“I have experienced an epiphany. I have endured quite a multitude of this very day. I have redistributed the majority of the allotted capitol presented to me to reimburse those distressed by your escapades. I have spent the favors I was granted for naught, and I am led to understand that all of my companions are particularly cross with me currently.” Twilight drew in a long breath as if she was trying to calm herself. “And you have just attempted to compress my youngest sibling.”
“Oh great she's pissed off enough to break out the 15 bit words.” Spike rolled his eyes. ”Tone it down book horse, let them know they are being insulted.”
“Insulted? Yaks great warriors! No forget this insult. Not friends with ponies!”
“Great warriors? All I've seen today are a bunch of weak little bitches....”
“Bork!” Rahs corrected.
“Sorry, weak little infants who can't do anything but throw a temper tantrum the moment something isn't perfect enough for the bias preconception of reality their peanut sized brains offer.” Twilight ranted.
“You dare insult yaks! THIS MEANS WAR!!” Prince Rutherford screamed.
Twilight twitched as she tossed the other two yaks aside, grabbing Prince Rutherford and yanking him through the air to float nose to nose with her, though the massive yak was held upside down.
“I'm sorry, did you just declare war?”
“YES YAKS SMASH PONIES FOR INSULT.” Prince Rutherford screamed back at Twilight.
“Right... War...you declared war.... You know what...” Twilight nodded, her left eye twitching before her whole form exploded into fire turning her to a flame haired white furred alicorn. “..Bring it!”
Svengallop? I think I missed something here...
I am currently fantasizing about Twilight ripping the Yak delegates into two, before cutting a bloody swathe through their miserable excuse for a homeland. And they've not done anything more than what they did in the Canon. I don't know why I'm imagining this, because this Twilight still probably wouldn't do that (yet), but it just feels good.
War war war war war!
Objective achieved!
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Pinkie owed Twilight a favor for having to deal with Svengallop while pinkie wandered off on a harmony quest.
heheheheheehehehehehehehehehehehehe......
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Wait... Svengallop happened already?! Did I miss Ra-ra?!
10872153
Eehhh The lesson at the time was not to try and impress another culture with a copy of their own.
But yeah the Yaks could handled things better in the way they acted.
Maybe the battle will be a glorious to the Yaks and Ponies alike?
Soem reason reminds me of a short sci fi story, where there was a planet of people that live for war, but in a unigue manner.
Every few years they would battle it out with certain rules and what type of war and how long it last with each other even teams and groups.
this was a real war people died on ether side, so a war game with real war for them.
Then humans came and some political figure banned war on the planet to help make them peaceful and save them................over half the population DIED!
Due to becoming so depressed they were denied their war games.
I feel like this story needs an accompanying soundbite of someone saying "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!" For whenever someone ticks off a sparkle.
Like seriously, I feel like I say it to myself, on average, at least twice a chapter.
Yaks gonna die !
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Yes. Look back to The Mane Abracadabra.
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Right, Imma go do that.
I hope she doesn’t kill them all. Then again Celestia did schedule this for a Tuesday.
And then Twiggy manages to open up commerce and travel through the power of Friendship! And buy friendship I mean beating the out of the Yaks showing she can dish as well as take it. Nanoha would be proud
Hehehehe Angry Twilight make Yaks burn!
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They tried to Smash one of Twilight’s brothers. What other reason does she need?
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I mean, she really doesn't. But she's shown remarkable restraint recently.
Right, cool, found Svengallop. I can see how I forgot about him, he was kind of overshadowed by the brawl with the Sirens. Still, love seeing call backs!
The Yaks are LUCKY Teacup is beyond the Tir Na Nog Portal, otherwise I am sure Twilight would call in a favor I am sure they would not like... wait. What if TWILIGHT somehow gets the War Portfolio?
I wonder what will happen next.
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Humanity summons our oldest friend and only ally
Well Celestia might of not gotten Yaks to friendship and dumped the task on Twilight I don;t think she intended Twilight to start a war. Though I doubt it will necessarily involve many ponies.
Yes Prince your colleague will be back from the bathroom in a week or so. I'm sure Angel Bunny would've prefer smacking him much further into the future and far far far away from Fluttershy
Is that a Lee Ho Fook reference? Or Werewolves of London?
Oh Shit.
"....Yaks wet themselves now."
This calls for something EDGY!!
yep this is going to be the 5 second war. Twilight is pissed i see bald tared and feathered Yaks limping around in a circle till they apologist to every one.
and that is if they get off easy.
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He ded
FINALLY! This will be soooo much fun!
Edit says:
“I have experienced an epiphany. I have endured quite a multitude of this very day. I have redistributed the majority of the allotted capitol[...]" -> Pretty sure it 's capital, even if the picture is hillarious :D
Oh ho ho yeah
Agreed, though Celestia knows just as well as we do how this will end, and she knows that's exactly what is needed for the Yaks to open up trade again
Ehhhh
That's better
This is not going to end well for the Yaks...
Celestia, did you really think this through?
I’m just imagining a doctor who type sprang from Twi about all the villains she defeated
Oh no, she's gone purple text!
Alright, who wants the fried yak!?
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I was thinking the same thing. You know when certain characters get right pissed in this story by the fact they speech goes colour.
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Me!
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Twilight goddess of friendship and war 🤔 mmmm cadence and chrysalis called they want their shtick back. Don’t you know it’s “All is fair in love and war”?
Is already roasting popcorn on twilights fire mane before setting up a concession stand of fresh popcorn and hot coco.
50 bits and a enchanted cloud seat to watch the show with snacks 25 bits just for the seat
Also I got 50bits in the betting pool sunset and sombra somehow bail the yaks out and another 50 they join in on the mayhem because there bored
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Calling dibs before rahas eats them or bites a throat out
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Raha is slipping he missed a great dramatic threat moment by effortlessly lifting Rutherford up by his neck threatening him as his form slowly changes to his witch form as a his other paws claws slowly extend from the change before he says.
You just pissed off two gods by trying to kill there little brother give me any and I mean any reason to skin you alive while my sister roasts you for me and our friend turns your skin into a nice set of clothes for me just one
(I couldn’t think of a decent threat so made it up)
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Werewolves of london, look at what AJ was eating.
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Rahs may be a god but he has limits and yaks are freaking heavy, also he used his one line already
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Aw man and true but giving how the days gone was I right in him threating to turn Rutherford into both food and clothing a thing he would say for dramatic effect or a bit ooc?
It could never have gone any other way.
This will be much more entertaining to read than the original episode.
Rutherford is going to wake up to a lifetime of breakfast cupcakes from now on?
DARK IN HERE, ISNT IT
Oh Crap!!!!! *Pulls out a bullhorn* ENRAGED TWILIGHT ALERT!!!! ENRAGED TWILIGHT ALERT!!! ALL PONIES TO THE FALLOUT SHELTERS AT ONCE!!! ALL PONIES TO THE FALLOUT SHELTERS AT ONCE!!!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!!!
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That is what he SHOULD be thinking, but he probably won't until next chapter.
Diplomacy has failed. And something about those three words in that order makes me so giddy.
The final scene reminds me of a comic called
[MLP Comic: Party Pooped alternate ending
You could find this on deviantart if anyone is interested
Well they do say we find our true friends on the battlefield! Nit sure if they meant on the opposite side, but close enough!