Twilight Gets a Puppy
Season 5
By TDR
What about Dragon Slave?
[ On Board the Princess Bride, Currently preparing to dock over Canterlot.]
“Finally. That trip felt like it took forever.” Rainbow Dash sighed as she stared over the railing as they descended, trying not to flex her injured wing. Not like she could with the amount of straps and bandages the doctors put on it to keep her from doing just that.
“Yeah, this episode did take nearly a month to write.” Pinkie Pie offered.
“What?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“What?” Responded Pinkie Pie.
“Bark?” Rahs asked, ignoring Pinkie.
“Hmm? Of course I stuck around. It might be some time before I get to hang out with my babies again. Maybe I can send them a metal file with a cake inside while they're in prison.” Discord considered. “ Or stage a jail break on their birthday. Does that blue pyro friend of yours give discounts on explosives?”
Rahs sighed, he was quite glad this was going to be someone elses problem very soon.
“Well then, I'm off, good luck to everyone.” Discord stated pushing off the railing.
“What? Where are you going?” Prince asked. “I would figure you would be wanting to make sure everything went fairly for your daughters.”
“Oh I do, but see, here's the thing Bluey. My ex wife, and my ex mare friend are down there. Together, and very annoyed." Discord explained. “And I may be as mad as a hatter, but in no way shape or form am even I crazy enough to get near both of them at the same time.”
“Huh. Well I suppose I can see where you're coming from. I had quite a lot of trouble with mares in my time as well.” Prince stated.
“Really now?” Rainbow Dash chimed up her eyes narrowing at Prince though she wasn't hiding her smirk very well.
“Oh don't even give me that. You know what I mean.” Prince sighed, kissing Dash on the nose.
“But at any rate. Toodles.” Discord offered snapping his fingers and vanished with a noise like a clown nose honking.
“ Well.” Prince sighed, looking down over the edge of the ship to the airship dock and the very large collection of Royal Guard and what seemed to be armored sea ponies and hippo gryphs gathered around the docks. “Lets see what all the fuss is about. Wait, Rahs what are you doing?”
Twilight lifted her head as the ship came in to dock, ignoring the fact that Rahs leapt from the bow before the ship came to a full stop and did a three point superhero landing on the dock.
All the sea pony soldiers bristled and shifted to aim weapons and spells at the moon dog, though the Royal Guard mostly ignored him save a smattering of applause from some. Rahs bowed to the Guards. and ignored the sea ponies before strolling over to Spike, Twilight, and Shining Armor.
“Keep up crap like that and you're gonna start a international incident.” Shining chuckled.
Are you kidding, that's on one of our checklists for the year.” Spike grinned.
“Woof.” Rahs shrugged.
“What do you mean you already started one?” Twilight demanded. “What the heck happened?”
As the ship finished mooring, Rahs started to explain.
Princess Celestia , Princess Luna, Empress Cadence, and Queen Chrysalis stood at the end of the dock surrounded by all manner of Guards from their various groups.
Across from them floated the massive serpentine form of Queen Aqua, surrounded by large numbers of her own sea pony soldiers. She was not floating over a bucket of water as she had been in the meeting chambers during the council session. However she had no need to as it was raining outside and all the water from that was swirling round her in a near solid globe of water. The sea pony god didn't really need the water, but it was far more comfortable for her, and Celestia had set up the unscheduled rain just for this purpose.
There had never been any sort of open conflict before between Equestria, and the seas. Most dealings were pleasant in fact, despite how rare they were. Luna even had some small connection to the seas with her moon.
Despite all that Celestia was quite worried.
Aqua was known to be temperamental at best and her moods affected the very waters themselves out in the seas. The Royal Ocean Waters Engineering Review Society kept a careful watch on things and had already reported a number of savage rip currents and budding wild storms in the waters, a sure sign of Aqua's mood behind her serene demeanor.
Word of the 'sirens' had gotten to her, and while she hadn't believed it, Discord had evidently pulled something and gotten her to come out here now to see for herself.
Aqua was clearly not happy about that.
The few words exchanged as the ship was mooring were terse and mostly political small talk. Aqua's full attention was on the ship as the gangplank was lowered and a number of Guards came down escorting two figures.
Aqua stiffened and Cadence and Chrysalis both turned their attention fully to Aqua, eyes widening before their heads snapped back to the two being brought before them by the Guards.
“Queen Chrysalis if this is some sort of trick by your changelings, Princess Celestia will be the least of your worries.” Aqua stated flatly.
“Keep in mind, that I had no idea you even had any children, as I was sealed in a volcano at the time.” Chrysalis pointed out. “So if this is a trick it certainly isn't one of mine.”
Aria and Sonata were guided over before the royals with the Sparkles moving up behind them as the Guards backed away.
There was a tense silence around the group broken only by the sounds of the ship being unloaded, and Rainbow Dash whining about being carried off to a doctor. There was also the loud crash as a yellow and pink missile slammed into Pinkie Pie and sent both of them crashing into a pile of freight.
Everyone steered clear of that area.
“Yeah, you are not who I wanted to see today.” Aria sighed finally breaking the silence.
“Hi Mommy.” Sonata chimed in with a small wave of her hoof.
Cadence tilted her head looking between the Sirens and Aqua curiously. She spared a glance to Chrysalis who nodded before the Changeling Queen stepped back to talk to a few Guards who nodded and ran off.
Shining Armor even looked a little confused his attention focused on Queen Aqua.
Aqua's eyes darted over the pair of them her whole form tense. “And why are you in these forms?”
“Broken leg, I don't want to stress it.” Aria stated seeming to ignore the wince from the sea pony queen.
“Cause we would have a hard time fitting in the ships cabin if we were big.” Sonata offered. The blue siren offered seemingly reigning herself in at the look Aqua was giving. She sighed a moment shifting from her pony form to a pony sized sea serpent form.” Umm, tada?”
Aqua's eyes widened.” And where is Adagio?”
“Fell off a cliff after trying to kill us.“ Aria reported. ”Dad says she's fine. Which is great because that means I can pay her back for breaking my leg.”
Aqua tensed at that.
“Fine. We shall discuss this at length at home. Come.” Aqua ordered turning to head away with a few of her soldiers moving up to escort the Sirens.
“No.” Celestia stated simply making Luna wince. This part was why Celestia had been worried.
“Excuse me?” Aqua questioned turning back towards Celestia.
“These two are wanted for numerous crimes in Equestria. As such they will be held here and tried here and serve their sentences here, before they are allowed to go any where else.” Celestia explained.
Aqua turned and loomed over Celestia glaring down at her. Celestia didn't break eye contact staring back up at her.
“I am taking my daughters and leaving Celestia.” Aqua declared.”They have been gone for thousands of years.”
“No, you are not.”Celestia declared back. “And that will be brought up in the trial as well, to see if they will be charged for the damage they caused in the past in addition to the present.”
“Your ponies need the sea to trade and travel and survive Celestia. Are you willing to risk that?”
“And yours need the sun to grow their crops and maintain the food chain for the larger animals that swim. Are you willing to risk that?”
"Can we not do something that would cause more harm to our subjects." Luna placated.
“Ooh, tense.” Chrysalis chimed in. “Hey can you suck all the water out of sun butt, I wanna see her shrivel up like a raisin.”
“If I may.” Twilight begin. “Article seven of the Council charter states that in situations of conflict and crime the god that made the claim has the right to hold the accused so long as the claims have been verified by at least three other gods, that has already been done here. The Council itself is allowed to put appoint a impartial judge to oversee the proceeding trial. We've already sent a message to Iinii about that.”
“Do not cite the laws to me mare, I helped write them.” Aqua snapped turning from Celestia to Twilight who was flipping through said book.
“Well then you really should know these rules, particularly since you are one of the council heads.” Twilight stated, not even noticing the glare Aqua was giving her. Her brothers on the other hand were meeting Aqua's stare down as calmly as Celestia had been. Twilight continued to flip through a few more pages.” Besides said trial would need to be of peers and right now we have quite a few demi gods that can be called upon to fill a jury box. Spike, Sombra, Sunset, Saturnia, Angel Bunny is an Apex too soooo we could get him by the rules, but I wouldn't recommend that. Shining may count due to the spell, but that's something that might need to be run by the council before we can tell for sure.”
Aqua blinked staring at the purple alicorn.
“If I get a say in this I say I'd rather be thrown under this freaking castle than go back to Neighlantis.” Aria offered up loudly.
“What?” Aqua turned to look at Aria.
“You ever consider why I left in the first place?” Aria inhaled .”Because you wouldn't allow me to do ANYTHING! And what you did allow me to do was so heavily watched and monitored and timed and measured and guided that I wasn't even sure I was the one doing it. The first time I scraped a fin on some coral I was wrapped up like a mummy and forced on bed rest for two weeks and it didn't even draw blood! You only eased off that a little when Sonata was born and only a little, I have no idea how Adagio put up with it, or maybe she didn't, and that's why she hates you. In any case if it stops me from going back I'll happily pick a fight with any and every one around here so I can be charged with something else.”
“Please don't.” Princess Luna sighed.
“Shit. Does this mean the one who was considered an abomination god until about a year ago is the only god who managed to raise her kid properly and not get them to turn against her?” Chrysalis smirked.” Seriously!?!? I'm the only one who managed to raise an emotionally and mentally stable child?”
Luna, Celestia, and Aqua all glare at the Changeling Queen as Cadence and Shining both face hoof.
“No you didn't. Saturnia is clearly brain damaged.” Twilight interjects waving a wing at Rahs.” She's attracted to this lump of fluff, there is clearly something wrong with her.”
Rahs slaps his sister in the back of her head.
“Seriously isn't this supposed to be an official royal meeting. How is it turning out into something like this?” Shining muttered.
“Have you met us?” Spike asked. ”Like all of us here?”
“Yeah, sorry, I realized it was a stupid question as I was saying it.” Shining Armor sighed.
“Aria...” Aqua began softening a little.
“Not to interrupt again, but you wouldn't be staying in Canterlot.” Twilight stated.
“Yes she would, I have a list of damages and injuries that have been brought up against them.” Celestia offered.
“Yes you do, but the rules state the first god making the charges is the one to detain them. Most of the charges you have were given to you from what happened in Ponyville, a place I currently represent as I am the one who lives there and I brought up the first charges.” Twilight stated. “The damages may have been paid for, but there is still the crime itself. Ponyville is also home to four of the five individuals who are immune to, or can resist the abilities of the sirens making it the better place to secure them. Add on top of that holding them there avoids any more stress between Canterlot and Neighlantis by providing a more neutral location.
Twilight glared at the two larger gods clearly annoyed at the threats they had made.
“How is a land locked town a more neutral location?” Aqua frowned. “Your rivers are not that deep and are far from the sea.”
“The Duck Pond.” Twilight offered.
“The what?” Aqua questioned.
“ The duck pond in Ponyville was there when the town was founded and is connected to the underground sea and the greater oceans if Fluttershy's friend Over fiend the Squid is correct. The duck pond water is always cold, and is more brackish than fresh with a higher saline content the deeper one goes. It's situated in a park that was reclaimed from the Everfree near the founding of Ponyville, though it was undeveloped as no one could fill in or use the water from the pond. If need be we can probably find the tunnel to the sea and you can use that as a access for visitation.”
Everyone who was not from Ponyville stared at Twilight.
“Heck that could even be used to set up an embassy to keep Neighlantis ambassadors so they don't need to worry about the dry mountain air in Canterlot. “ Spike offered. ”Never hurts to improve relations.”
They all turned to stare at Spike.
“Well.“ Luna spoke up. “ If this is acceptable to all parties, we see no reason against it.”
“For the moment. I agree.” Aqua stated.
“I do as well.” Celestia agreed, finally allowing all the Guards and Soldier's collective butt holes to unclench.
“What the hell just happened?” Aria blinked.
“My sister finally found a way to dump all the community service hours the Mayor has slapped her with over the years on some one else.”
Aria glanced up at Rahs raising an eyebrow at that.
A Guard ran up to Chrysalis and whispered to her and the Changeling Queen nudged Cadence.
“I'm sure there are more details to work out, but for the moment Queen Aqua, we have prepared a private area for you to speak with your daughters.” Cadence offered, her voice dipping a little. ”Despite needing to keep up appearances, we can tell how you really feel about each other and suggest a private setting might allow you to reconnect with out worrying how any one would react.”
Chrysalis simply let out a barely muffled burp.
The BIG question is this: who is Discord's ex-marefriend? Are he and Fluttershy a thing? Broken up? <gasp> Did Flutters dump him for the Pinks?
10826524
His ex is Celestia
This says a lot of the gods
Fair enough reasoning in your author's note. Besides I think Discord is closer to Pinkie, the sparkles and the crusaders than Fluttershy in this simply because of how chaotic they are. On another note Discord made a good argument for him to run off at the beginning. His annoyed and angry ex wife and his equally annoyed and angry ex girlfriend are in the same place and niether were likely helping calm the other. Getting out of there is the safest option even if it is a logical one for the god of chaos. Final note though good chapter and means of getting 2 more demigods into Ponyville to have them involved in future events. Whether they are changed canon events or events related to what you have going on in this story is up to you but I am eager to see how you work them into the daily lives of the citizens of Ponyville.
And once again, Purple Smart defuses an international incident with BOOKS.
be careful, no she might start getting a binding/medical kink.
Smart Doggo
Okay, now I want to see Discord and Trixie stage an elaborate jail break focused on Trixie performing in Neighlantis to distract everyone.
Okay Rahs... YOU KNOW BETTER!!!!!
Yeah, he's crazy, not stupid!
Becuase Drama Dog!
Also..... 8.5/10
Is it the 'To Do' list or the "Try not to do but will end up happening anyway" one?
Or the "Things Lyra has gotten bon Bon to bet money would happen" one?
He rolled a Nat 20 on an intimidate check.
Guards who were very much trying not to get caught placing last minutes bets on which one 'accidentally falls' off the edge after somehow getting their wings glued shut.
The perks of telling 'mother nature' to sit down, shut up and do as she's told.
I mean, she married Discord, that alone says she can't be all that stable/sane.
Aqua has a whole host of new ways to make you suffer. Have fun being scared to even go near a shower ever again.
A family even more screwed up then the Sparkles. Luckily, only one of them is nuts, and powerful enough to be a casual danger to anyone around them when they get annoyed.
Yikes...... yeah, no way were they getting carted off to somewhere never to be seen again after all this.
So pulling the 'they committed crimes against my ponies and have to answer for those first, by being paroled in Ponyville' card?
Pffffft damnit Chryssi!
Yeah, and Twilight likely already has several entire volumes on exploitable loopholes and out of date wording/concepts that should be updated in them. And that' not counting the extra ones Spike worked out and is trying to keep secret in case he needs them.
"Everyone in this room is guilty and their sentence should be serving as my slaves for life!"
.......... Of those present.......... kind of......
Twilight snark about her liking Rahs in 3...2...
Called it... also Tense shift.
You kind of asked for that one Shiny.
Seshat is about to get a pair of house maids to help take care of an pamper her, aren't they?
Rahs, Pinkie, Twilight, Sombra....... Discord? Aqua?
The ones who were were busy settling up the bets of how many gods she manages to make speechless. or other related bets.
Hey, Twi got the Int, Rhs got the Chr, Shiny got the Str and Con, Spike got the hella good Wis score.
And yet..... it makes so much sense.
Though I still expect to see them in maid outfits cleaning Seshat as well.
Well that's settled, and Ponyville just got even weirder.
waaaiit...
That was Make New Friends but Keep Discord.' What About Discord was the 'Discord trolls Twilight by hanging out with the other Mane 5 without her' one.
Twilight engaging lawyer mode, ha!
10826553
Oh she didn’t defuse the international incident.
She merely delayed it, and ensured it will occur in the single worst possible location.
On whichever Tuesday the Trial ends up being scheduled.
10826563
oh i mixed those two up.
10826569
No... no way they will let the trial be held on Tuesday. If only by the logic that since the primary accuser in this is Goddess of Tuesdays, having a fair trial means not holding it on Tuesday as she may be able to either intentionally, or inadvertently influence things more to her liking.
With the recent brouhaha over Dr. Seuss books going out of print, I'm not so much annoyed by the cries of "Cancel Culture" as I am the apologists who say it's not a big deal because the books in question aren't all that popular. Bitch, McElligot's Pool was my favorite as a kid. The art is gorgeous and there's nothing particularly offensive in it aside from fantastical fish species that might have some very vaguely stereotypical Asian or Slavic characteristics. And that's nothing compared to the really racist stuff in On Beyond Zebra and If I Ran the Zoo, and to a lesser extent, Scrambled Eggs Super.
Also, fishlady goddess is best Aslan. Even though that line was created just for the Disney movie, which was kind of crap. Despite (or because of) the low-budget effects and EXTREMELY hammy acting, the old BBC versions are still better. Rahs would love them.
Edit. A lot of Disney Narnia fans here, eh?
10826576
10826569
Despite being the god of tuesdays, Tuesdays do not always work out in Twilight's favor.
10826596
Very true, wasn't saying they would. But I'd figure the Council would like to remove even the chance of things potentially giving one god an edge in these sorts of things, or even the potential appearance of possibly having one, by just avoiding holding a trial on a day of the week they are god of, neutral ground and all that.
10826596
Would it be more accurate to say, "the god of having things happen on Tuesdays"?
10826604
Just watch it turn out the only day every god participating in this trial that is cleared on their schedule is a Tuesday and that literally no other day could work.
lol
“Shit. Does this mean the one who was considered an abomination god until about a year ago is the only god who managed to raise her kid properly and not get them to turn against her?” Chrysalis smirked.” Seriously!?!? I'm the only one who managed to raise an emotionally and mentally stable child?”media1.tenor.com/images/7f4f32991a677d02172305fe793fdb73/tenor.gif?itemid=14359545
See discord is they kinda being that I’d class as lawfully chaotic he does whatever the beep he wants but also follows the laws set by others
So, is Drama Dog finally going to get outed as a god?
10826704
Except where he doesn't. This Discord is Chaotic Neutral, but with good tendencies. Because even he would prefer to live next to a thriveing city than a burned out husk. Creatures who are afraid of everything do not make good gag targets,.
10826753
Which drama dog the blue fuzzball or the bitch?
10826754
True also the fact his daughters was not even fazed when he said he didn’t want to be a chew toy again was funny
10826753
He's waiting for the next big Council meeting to pull some big, elaborate, and overly dramatic reveal.
My Ponyville Betting Pool bet that it's going to involve him getting 'fatally wounded' and pulling an epic, over the top death scene, only to then reveal his godhood.
And then get upstaged by the Jynx reveal.
10826774
Throw in him refusing to get up unless kissed and que a fight scene moment that reveals jynx as a god and it’s maximum drama
Always gonna love when Twi pops off like that!
10826774
Well given that Discord killed Chrysalis in the previous meeting, I can't imagine Twilight would balk at blasting him until he packs it in.
Twiggles has no chill. I like it!
10826554
The ones who have demonstrated immunity/resistance to the Dazzlings mind magic so far are Rahs (Moon Dog God), Applejack (Witch Wolf), Sombra (knows anger too well to be controlled by it), Pinkie Pie (she's Pinkie), and Cheese Sandwich (Wierd Al). Of them, only Cheese doesn't live in Ponyville.
10826816
Celestia killed Chrysalis. Discord just dumped Gatorade on Twiggles.
You really should know better by now
Being dramatic
You know I hear that's real hard on the knees
Oh yeah, you two can sense emotions
Oh yeah, you're getting some tricks from Cadance's Portfolio
Yeah, as a ruler she can't really ignore all the damages they have done to Equestria and her citizen
...holy shit, she's right
Clearly, Aqua has not yet encountered the term, “Rules Lawyer.”
Twilight, you are just bucking for an unwanted promotion to the Divine Council, if for no other reason that you may be the only goddess that can make sense of the tangle of rules they’ve probably set up for themselves over the years/decades/centuries/millennia/eons. Assuming there isn’t already a god with “Law” in his/her/their/its/s̸̨̭̳͔̫̣͈͗́̽͠ʇ̴̧͍̘͉̫͖̃͑ı̷̧̰̿̃̈́͊͗͛̔ɹ̷̛̛̬̜̮̫́̊̅̑̇̃ı̵̢̡̢̻̺̮͇̆̔ǝ̴͔̺̭̻̙̟͚̟̩͌̈́͂̏̂̐̇̚ɥ̵͇̦͔̈́͂̇̍̀͋ʇ̸̯͖͖̅̈́͠ɹ̵̱͉͚͕̞͇̘̺̣̑̓̓͘͝ͅǝ̷̠͇̼̱̙̬̱̫̞͔̅͆ɥ̷̖̲͉͓͛s̷̡̛̱̣̖̼̲̘̹̞ͅı̷̢̛̛̪͒͑͌͒̾̈́̔́ɥ̸̢̥̞̞̟̻̎̎͋̅̏̓̌͜ portfolio, that is. And if there isn’t, you’re treading perilously close to picking it up.
What, you didn’t think the freakin’ goddess of books wasn’t going to read the Divine Council Bylaws end-to-end, front-to-back, cover-to-cover, top-to-bottom, forwards-and-backwards? At some point she’s probably going to ask White if he’d help her to read all the books that haven’t been written yet.
”Perhaps I can interest you in a wafer-thin mint, Chrysalis?”
Never imagine this obscure pond would gain international fame in this way. The small town of Ponyville just gain another tourist destination.
Damn, I really love this Spike. No wonder Celestia wanted to appoint him with the Advisor of the Court.
Hi Honey, Im Ho... Oh.
Ill just be off in this highly unstable dimention fighting off Astartes with a toothpick.
Toodles.
10827016
Law exists, she's is Celestia and Luna's mother as well as one of the three initial, primordial Gods who predated the creation of the world (or at least came into being at the same time as it.) along with Harmony and Discord. The thing is no one has seen her in a very, very long time. Apparently she disappeared right about the time this city called "Tambelon" vanished......
10826906
Hmmm... agree. But still would say cheese doesn't count as living in poniville.
Not entirely sure, but I am more thinking Saturnia as fifth.... Then again, Angles is a resident and him being influenced would be much of a change, if at all.
(And i am wondering, how Seshat would be affected)
EDIT: Forget what i wrote. For some reason i forgot the "4 out of" part when going through the comments. With Cheese being the out-of-towner, the 4 remaining are in fact Rahs, Applejack, Pinky and Sombra.
You know, I was kinda expecting the whole overprotective mother angle but I was expecting something a bit more extreme
Aria: Do you all know how old I was when I FINALLY lost my virginity because of this woman? 349 YEARS OLD! And it was only AFTER that bearded asshole banished us and we had spent 49 years in that other dimension, which according to Miss Anger Issue's Goddess Book was actual 1,470 years here now that a think about it so really I WAS 1770 YEARS OLD! And not only that, it was at a freakin Hippie music and drug festival. I WAS SO OUT OF IT I DON"T EVEN REMEMBER IT!
10827349
Not quite that bad. But yeah it wasn't until she was in the human world.
10827397
...Wow. I can't believe I called that. I bet Cadence whose Portfolio's include Love and Lust would probably have works for Aqua about that.
I mean the fact that Chrysalis is 100% correct about the fact that she has raised the most stable demigod is both surprising and terrifying.
As he’s still “just a baby dragon,” the jury’s still out on Spike. He’s admittedly a unique case, however — demigod by his mother, Bleu, hatched by a then-mortal Twilight, raised by a combination of mortals (🎶 Sparkles, meet the Sparkles, they’re the modern unicorn fam-i-ly… 🎶) and gods (Celestia, Cadance, later Twilight, with some input from Bleu), with an oneiroi as a brother (who also later became a god).
10827056 There ARE a FEW stories with the pond being connected to the ocean a integral part of the story but good luck finding three of them close enough together that you don't forget what you were looking for and why.
10826907
Noted, but regardless, a god has been killed while the council was in session, and nothing was done about it, so Twilight zapping Rahs if he tries to push the drama too far should barely get a comment.
Pffff! XD
Well, after binge reading TGAP from the first season to now, I must say I have really enjoyed the ride thus far, and I look forward to more shenanigans from the Sparkle siblings in the future.
Chrysalis might grow fat from three divine beings in a emotional war...
I'm actually kinda digging the daddy Discord thing. He's showing that he can be a very loving father, but also that he is still the God of Chaos.
The guard detail on duty this episode probably could have crushed coal to diamonds with how hard there buttholes were clenched that gods standoff...
YES!! IT'S THE ROWERS!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Deserved, but worth it.