• Member Since 18th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 2nd, 2013

apple short


I'm me.

T

After falling through a portle to aquestria. After the defeat of the discord. Prince Martin Willis hangs with twilight and the owl only things dont go as they possibly would be. Book two of the trilogy.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 119 )

Mother of Celestia, are you simply blind to any sort of negativism? You. Can't. Write. Worth. Shit. Give up.

And so it finally arrives.
*snaps on gloves*
Alright. Time to to dig into a big 'ol pile of horse shit.

EDIT: I am going to enjoy this far more than I should.

zel
zel #5 · Oct 3rd, 2012 · · · one ·

and she visably cried with unbelievable passion and raw emoticon

RAW EMOTICON


I AM SO LOVING THIS

Can someone ban this idiot?

I can't tell if this is a troll fic or not. I honestly can't.

This is hilariously bad. It's like My Immortal. Is this a real thing?

Also guys my cutie mark is no longer a portle gun because I have defeated the discord and saved Equestria with it. So it became the heads of the mane six since my goal is to make them feel sexy.

lolwut?

kissed Nightmare Moons butt and rubbed her other place and all six of her boobs. (she had six boobs because she is a pony nympho) That she got from transfusion and we made love to spikes help.

LOLWUT?!

I'm sorry, i know I should keep my cool and try to help you out here with some advice, but this is so fucking hilarious I just can't. I'm still freaking laughing.

imageshack.us/a/img222/5116/20whats75.jpg

Because Twilight is purple and that is a cooler color than white

Can't agree with that

1379582 I think it turned out better than imagined and anyone can write well if they put the extra knowledge of achieving power there. besides better to shun negativism with a violent bat of hatred than to succomb to the gloom of deep unjustified malcrios and feel bad like death was here.

Prince Martin Willis Two. Official Unofficial sEventh Member (LOL!) Of The Mane Six

I just can't...

MnM

1379619 I think in this case, we can overlook the ban on the CHOO CHOO MOTHERFUCKER macro.

I did the last "Prince Martin Willis" story. I'm sorry, guys... I just- I just can't do it again.

NATOstrike ~ TWE Railroad Maintenance Engineer

Azu

Just think, if that aproval system thing goes through and is used, we can stop the garbage like this from ever making it past approval. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png

i cannot see why this is not loved more, Willis is amazing.

1379867

...You're joking right?

1379655 You... I can't even... Your creations are something to be dreaded, how hard is it to understand? Are all the downvotes too vague for you?

<~~~~See this trash bin? Use it. I don't think I...no, the world...can handle another Martin Willis story.

Anyone got some brain bleach? I'm all out.

Has nobody gotten the point that he's moved from being serious to writing trollfics just to get the attention?

People like this deserve ridicule at first. Then they deserve silence when they keep coming back.

You're impossible, apple short.

You've been given help once before. It was still a bad story, considering how flawed your concept of storytelling is and the only actual tweaks being to grammar and spelling, but because you didn't get instant love, you ditched your helper and abandoned all hope of help.

You've been insisting on improving on your own. You've learned capitalization. THAT IS ALL YOU'VE LEARNED. Your spelling and grammar are still terrible, your stories are still atrocious, and you have, in essence, learned nothing of significant value.

And now I see THIS: 1379867

One of the biggest Gary Stus of our time, one of the least likable OCs I've ever seen... and you call him "amazing." Either you're defending yourself with that, assuming the pRince is your self-insert, or you've been trolling us the whole time.

If this is all an elaborate trolling mission, I applaud you for your ability to rustle all these jimmies sitewide. If you're actually trying to write good stories... then you are one of the worst kinds of authors. The kind that refuses help, the kind that either doesn't change at all or changes in all the worst possible ways. Martin Willis is despicable, and yet you insist on mentioning him in every story you write as if he was the god of awesomeness. You say you want to improve, but you refuse to change.

I only have these tips for you: Stop writing clop. Stop writing about this fuckface Willis. Get a dictionary so you can actually UNDERSTAND the big words you've been putting in random and unfitting places. Get a proofreader to fix your goddamn grammar. Get a creative consultant to make sure all these terrible ideas you keep having for stories either change radically or die before they can harm anyone.

1379867 He is obviously trolling now. So there is no point in talking or even viewing any of his works. Just leave and let him continue posting stories because it not worth the trouble.

WHAT DID I READ?!

1379655
Knowledge which you apparently lack. You haven't been improving at all.

1380103 1380067 1379924 1379879 1379641 1380086 maybe my writing is not the thing that isflawed to rejection of knowledge but with a resound it is your view on how stories here are meant to be. its a fucking site for fanfics. OF ALL KIND. i like Prince Martin Willis how the king of portles he is and to me Willis is well balanced and even believed to be funny even if i dont meant it even that way and dont even like it atlaest those people are even enjoying it. so yes unbelievably with awe it amazes me you all hate him. i honestly tried to improve with a thirst that kept me grey and up and red eyed and bleary. i got laughed at and told my stories still sucked? so why should i keep trying to improve. its a waste of my time when i like my stories the way they are now. im not gonna work for approval for a single group of bullies that use violent thunderstorms to distract with viscos blood sucking renders of laughs whose goal is to plague budding authors with spewing acid. there is a reason your all sites shas so many fics deleted from it. ya i have been watching your twe with secret vigilence like batman you people of crashes you kill new authors with hate. you scare away possibly the next greatest most amazing brilliant fanfic creator and you do it all in the name of because you can't spell like i want. and whenever these sometimes as young as merely 10 year old kids fight back because they love their story and their alicorn or there version of applejack you go apeshit. it floors me to unquenching rage. maybe it is them that have bad versions of the shows characters but you forgot the point of MLP FIM in the first place. love caring kindness and tolerating.
my plot progresses you yourself said as OOC according to you my characters are they still stay within the ideas i give them of their character. most of you who hate on my clop are self admitted clop haters and shipping haters in the first place. You think i dont know about your trainy group going around trying to "help" authors. you guys post choo choo motherfucker and tell the author to go to hell. most of you probably are not even dont write stories and the few that do look down on everyone you review. sorry if i never took yoru advice but if thats how you give it why the fuck would i want it. your idea of help is like hitting a guy whos on fire to put him out. yeah he was on fire and yeah he should be greatful you stopped by to help but you couldve grabbed some motherfucking hose right next to him.
yes i know that by posting here im asking for critisism. yes i know that i probably have more to learn than i can even come up with. but dont tell me that you all are just trying to help. your all weird dragons with fucknut eyes and crystal eyes filled with led and lap up the blood of those fearful of praise.

1380207 It's not that, but the fact he keeps at this! He's a fething troll!

1380226 i cannot achieve hearing of comments you make over the sound of delete button by my side.

1380231

I'd figure my comment rang true if you're deleting it.

1380237 well what is to be expected with certainty? im sorry and am not trying to be mean but you all have beraged me with momentary anger.

1380217
What part of calling you a troll and attention whore did you not get?
You're not going to improve, you're going to continue to write shitty fanfics with a Gary Stu OC who started off as a self-insert and continue to get bad reviews.
So there's only two possibilities for this. The first is that you simply don't care yet you obviously care because you responded so it can't be that.
This means that you are in effect trolling for flames and this is all part of your plan to get attention. So keep writing those fanfics about yourself... sorry I meant "pRince Martin Willis (lol)" and you'll be sure to catch more fish in your trolling net.

So I came here with an open mind. I had seen what you did with the original one, and it was... painfull. Then I've read both your Rainbow Dash Gets Pierced and Spike Fights The Angel Bunny. Those were utter crap too.

Making Apple Pie... this was not that bad, if you compare it to your other works. Sadly it was not even written by you, so I canot even count it in. Your least bad story, and it even written by you!

First thing I see is this!

Prince Martin Willis Two. Official Unofficial sEventh Member (LOL!) Of The Mane Six

.... at least it ain't as screwed up as the tittle in the previous one.

But I came to this, hoping you try to redeem yourself to at least to an acceptable level of stupidity.

So I open chapter 'one' and begin to read.

After the utter and humilating defeat of the discord came a time of peace for Prince Martin Willis and the people of Ponyville. There was much sex and love and also Twilight married Willis but he was allowed to sleep with anything that needed help. This was all going to change when the owl of twilight appeared one day while doing drugs and we were partying and having massive sex.

....

Also guys my cutie mark is no longer a portle gun because I have defeated the discord and saved Equestria with it. So it became the heads of the mane six since my goal is to make them feel sexy. I am still orange with blue stripes and still have all the powers of the gun though.

...I think my inner muse is rapidly vomiting.

Then appointing my attention to my wife Twilight whom I love the best I made her understand with a hug and some French kisses and a squeeze below and above on her tingling body that her owl was probably just going thru a phase and that everyone does hard drugs once to see the feeling that it cause for the Aquestria.

A-aquestria? S-still that SAME MISTAKE?!

That night we had all the mane six and Celest over for a sleep over at the order of her. And Celest brought Nightmare Moon. “My students fuck off. I must talk to Willis in the deepest of secret aloneness”

WHAT?! How in the- Just why- Eh...

Dear author, why?

Why do you need to include Nightmare Moon into this and as it IS IMPOSSIBLE. Last time I watched the end of second part of episode 1, she got her flank kicked by the Elements of Harmony and destroyed.

“It will be as you shall want it martin and I hereby command you my student to go make love to Nightmare Moon.”

24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz0pjlmLKz1r3sok3o1_400.gif

Okay, I'm done here. Not even gonna read the rest of it throughly. What I can gather is that they have sex yadda yadda, nothing seems really interesting. Is sorta of orgy. Morgan Freeman ponified, something I'd like o very much see happen. More real world refrences. Some dude named Jack and-

“He has done the worst curse spell from my secret book of spells that go towards those who hate you Martin” Ever Twilight she sat down and raised. Her arms her mane and tail lifted up in shame and the worst of all. Lost hope and she greyed like she did in the first episode with discord. “He cast on us all DICKUS CREATUS and I cannot switch it back.

i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/319/722/fe3.png

“He cast on us all DICKUS CREATUS and I cannot switch it back.

I'm... just...*sigh* Martin, this isn't right. Simple as that. You cannot write something like this like that, with a snap of a finger and except all of us to see it in your way. All of this clop and the text itself is just... sick. Sick beyond any form of imagination. You have absolute zero reason to even try and defend your stance as to why this story is like what it is.

There's nothing you can present to us that will change our view on this. NOTHING! So stop even trying to defend yourself, you're just digging you own grave deeper.

Hydkore
Regular chap from TWE

1380248 i dont care if you think im a troll or attention eater or whatever all i said is all anyone whos stories you all attack is say with vengeance and that is that if you are unappealing and all you do is post shit then dont post at all.

1380241

I still don't know why you use so many adjectives, it's a waste of effort.

Never seen someone write too much just to get their point across.

1380283 what is an adjectives you mean using descriptiveness?

1380290

There's a difference. 'Descriptiveness' is accurately describing a scene in a story.

'Adjectives' are what you're currently dumping over your sentence in order to make your point more viable. Words that describe nouns, words that should be used in moderation. Something you should hold back on, like the clop, eh?

It's distracting.

1380279
I'm sorry, was that supposed to be English?

1380298 1380312 1380318 fine you all think that me to follow your way as the crush of vigor on my story and that you are helpers? you of the twe want to think you are better to name three fucking things and ill put it into the next chapter with care to observe the facts that are assumed (third one only because to get it in the second chapter was already written) any three things you name within on to be creation and ill put it in and base the story to be furthured with its agreeing it. same thing i did with my last editor and that wen so well.
also thank you for the understandment of the word Adjectives i will try to be less word used.

Well, I'm off to go drink some antifreeze.

1380320

Three things? Ok.

1) No more clop unless it's emotionally involved, and no, I'm not including any of the relationships you currently have going as part of that algorithm. The clop stops here, and goes no further until you have a proper relationship running, or it helps to push the plot forward.

2) No more sex-powered portal capabilities. No more portal capabilities. Just. No more portals. You're honestly making me hate one of the best puzzle games on the market today.

3) No more Willis until he is properly described, and no, you cannot simply say "I'll explain him later." I want an explanation for him NOW. I don't care if you dedicate the entire story to describing him, I want you to make him an interesting fucking character.


Everything else, the TWE will eventually hammer into your head over time, but these three points must be addressed immediately.

1380320 Three things? Okay.

Use proper spelling and grammar.
Use words you actually know the meanings of instead of throwing in random adjectives to try and make it sound better.
Give the show another vigorous watching and FIX THE MANE SIX'S PERSONALITIES TO MATCH. You can't have them act like this unless you give them character development leading to it.

Note how I avoided the topic of your dreadful OC. I know you won't be moved on that point.

And by the way, that story you had an editor for WENT BETTER THAN ALL YOUR OTHER STORIES COMBINED.

1379867 You are a troll, aren't you?

1380320
I'm sorry, but I don't speak retard. Syntactically it looks like a variant of English but when I try to understand what you're writing I just get word salad out of it.

I mean is this the way you speak in your day to day life or do you just happen to try to write in a Dadaist fashion?

Seriously, no joke here, but my brain feels like it's in a cuisinart trying to decrypt what it is you're saying.

1380349

Yes he is, but for the moment he's an amusing one.

1380336 1380341 fine third chapter no clop no willis no portles and no willis unleaved. hell be explained ill even try using simple wordening and the plot will evolve like him too.

1380364
I almost understood that, you're improving.
Or have you simply given up Dadaism and are moving towards surrealism now?

1380364

I've got high expectations, apple. Don't screw up.

1380364 I've got my eye on you...

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