Gummy goes on a rampage when his teeth get returned to him Magically Suprisedly. Another horror story in honor of nightmare night pending.
Chapters (1)
apple short
Joined 18th Jul, 2012 ·
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Oh, apple short.
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Oh dear Faust, another horrendous work of apple short's.
He's like Wanderer D's creation, Obnoxious Writer, times about 500.
Can't do shit right and refuses to learn how to do it right.
Seriously though, I have to ask.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1082_faggotry.jpg
Please quit feeding words into bing's translator multiple times, rewording things to try to make them sound more sophisticated, and adding in words that don't exist. And walls of text. DO AWAY WITH THEM! It's getting old.
i.imgur.com/3lZia.png?1
TWE's Advisory Artillery
asmcint
i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u400/DubsRewatcher/1351466928478.gif
I... what?
Reading an Apple Short story is like studying a zen koan meant to demonstrate the futility of concrete ideas. Seriously, try to actually envision what's literally happening here. I've tried, and my mind is just kind of rebelling against itself now. Boobs that are not boobs melting down the sidewalk like a pornographic Dali painting! 61! Spasm Panda!
--CEO Kasen
Without reading this, I'm going to predict a few problems:
1. You will have a horrendous amount of purple prose, to the point where it won't make sense
2. Tense issues
3. Pacing issues
4. Spelling
5. Bad capitalization
6. Celestia will be spelled "Celest"
7. Prince Martin Willis
8. Effing
--
I was right about almost everything. Six didn't happen. I'm not going to go in depth, but I will offer some truly awful quotes.
Oh, who cares about ratings? Let's say everything is teen!
i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u400/DubsRewatcher/penisinspectionday.gif
God. This can't get worse...
>amazementgasms
I was wrong.
--
Final rating:
i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u400/DubsRewatcher/1348975734628-1.gif
Fire: you
Man in red: the English language
Innocent bystanders: us, the readers
-Dubs Rewatcher, TWE Reviewer
Confucius says he has no idea what you're trying to say here.
What in the actual Tartarus is this? I mean, it's like you strangled all 9 Muses and forced them to spit out words. Then you took those words and slapped them together, calling it a story. I am praying to Zeus right now, hoping that he destroys this abomination with a flurry of thunderbolts. And then to Poseidon to wash away all traces of the story. And then to Hades to lock it up in Tartarus where it belongs. Because this "story" deserves no less.
1528622
I get the feeling apple short doesn't know either.
Hear me, o people of Israel! I have heard the voice of God, and he has given me a most important commandment! "And the Lord God said, 'There shall be an eleventh commandment: Thou shall not write stories in the same manner as apple short. For to do so is a crime punishable only by the fires of Gehanna.' "
...There is nothing to say here.
Men! Loot everything you can! Burn the rest! Leave no survivors! The golden horde shall ride today!
Arrgh! It be the work of Apple Short again.
There be a reason why ye keep writin' bad stories? It may have been fun at first, now it just be tiresome.
The Crimson Brony has better things to do than to be readin' yer trollfics.
You could use some more practice, Nate. That's all I'm going to say. Continue to write outside of the fandom. Continue to pay attention in English class. Continue to read.
1528724
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1528766 Im trying to be better. But as i wll be posting in my blog in a few minutes i will also be forced to take a break to see family for a couple weeks or so. I plan to read a lot of good books and fan stories on here then if i can but probably not since my internet will be diminutive. I am also planning on looking into pairing up with another writer here who writes once i get back. Who has asked to help with writing with me so the stories i post should be recieving a much better view of things after the pairing. (I do not list his name since they asked not to be as yet and because its not entirely sure yet we will work together since we have never done work before.)
1528790
Dude. Let me put it this way. STOP. You cannot write worth shit, and no amount of outside help can possibly fix it without just taking your base idea and writing it out from scratch, and there's no way in hell that arrangement would work for long. Just stop. No more writing until you have learned the rules of the English language and understand equine anatomy. I'm gonna go play KOTOR in a futile attempt to get your pure stupidity, ignorance, and stubbornness out of my head.
I read about 20 words.
Buck it.
In some twisted way, I actually enjoy Apple Short's writing; It's like a godawful movie. You watch it and enjoy it, even when you feel like you should be getting out the matches to purge it from existence.
Ah appleshort how I miss thee
1528529
I'm doing that. I will write a one-shot, translate it into Chinese, then into Russian, then into Latin, then back into English and post it here.
//dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/screenshots/sereal_killer_teeth_is_gummy.png
Seems legit
1528529>>1530594
All of apple short's writings are like the Plan 9 From Outer Spaces of Fimfiction. It's so bad...it's laughably so.
But really, it's getting old. Just stahp.
1528848
KOTOR is the cure to all things.
... I need to go play it again.
I can't help myself. Only awesome Patrick memes can describe what I'm thinking right now.
preview.images.memegenerator.net/Instance/Preview?imageID=87311&generatorTypeID=&panels=&text0=wHAT%20IF%20WE%20TOOK%20OF%20ALL%20APPLE%20SHORT'S%20FAN%20FICS...&text1=AND%20PUSHED%20THEM%20INTO%20THE%20DEPTHS%20OF%20OBLIVION%3F&text2=&text3=
"rainbow Dash sonic rainbowed through the clouds fastly"
fc00.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/330/c/5/EW_MUST_ESCAPE_by_xRAWBERRYx.jpg
Well, it may have been a mess of bad fanfiction cliches, but you did write the characters vaguely in character SOME of the time. Next time run your writing through spellcheck, and make sure the characters don't inadvertently fall back into character. You might even get featured.
1531132
Sadly, it's not the cure to apple short.
1528848 Hey, everyone can improve. I have not read this story yet, but there is the possibility that Apple Short's writing quality will improve. However, no one should ever say that there is no chance of improvement.
To say that is to label someone perpetually inferior, and does nothing for you in the short - or long - run. Constructive criticism allows you to help the writer improve. Is it not contrary to the spirit of Bronydom to say something like that?
*reads story*
This is horrible. Still, my advice stands.
Holy crap.
1532765
As a member of the TWE, I can safely say that... well... he's not improving. There are many other clusterfucks of stories to read through, and he's been ignoring any help all along the way.
Alright. Fair enough to practically all of the commentators here, this is
god-awfulbad. But can we turn down the "Hahahaha u r terrible" a bit? Perhaps this is a trollfic, but still, can't we be nice?1532945
Trust me. nearly everyone's tried being nice with apple short. It doesn't work, and unfortunately, neither does poking fun at his horrendous fics. The latter just happens to be more fun.
1533025
All right. Having looked through his user page and the comments on a couple of his other fics I think I can safely say that this is beyond hope.
I will join you in laughing then.
Dear god what is this?
1533310
I've stated this before and I'll state it again. You know those words that aren't words he keeps using? I think they come from Barnum's Thesaurus.
images.wikia.com/fable/images/8/8d/Barnum%27s_Thesaurus.JPG
This tattered, handwritten book performs countless crimes against synonymisation, among them: Nasty: 1. distrafolic, respinacious, aggravatising 2. sprockless, embitterious, spitoonful. Surprising: mindplosive, betwazzling, shakeastickful. There are also a small number of antonyms, such as: Hand: foot, other hand, extremiosity. Hungry: bananas, pie, donkey.
1534116
I lol'd.
This is a most interesting document. And a most interesting reference.
1534187
Well, it's something I thought of... a couple weeks ago I think, now, and I only thought of it because of my familiarity with the Fable series of games.
1534189
I think this particular reference will be most helpful to you whilst you continue to decimate your brain cells reading this kind of thing.
1534196
You should see my review of Me and Dashie. Utter piece of crap that got what it deserved.
i love this fic almost as much as the one about acid trips and LSD
10/10
1528790 Keep hangin' in there! We're rooting for you.
-Chessie
Secret giggles of infintesimystic power. This is... not entirely terrible. Honestly, I've read famous poems that are much worse. There may have been something poetic there, in the original language.
This....
1534196 ...I came.. I did what you requested..
And I want to leave..
1528507 We all did.
Ab-but-what? I'm, I don't even know what this was supposed to evoke. Disgust? You succeeded. Fear? That something like this can exist horrifies me enough. Happiness? That I need never witness something this bad again is a cause for celebration. Sorrow? See fear. But since I can't bring myself to leave anywhere without some constructive criticism (Not that it will help) I'd say just run it through a goddamn spell check. Microsoft Word has one on the default toolbar. Use buildups, use descriptive and evocative language. Use Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness for Christs sake, Just use readable language. And maybe you can shed your tattered broken reputation like a caterpillar sheds its earthly form and ascends above all the other land based creatures. See how not suicide inducing that sentence was?
oh, mah nigga.
Heres the MANE points to why your writing sucks. 1- YOURE AWFUL. 2. YOURE AWFUL. 3- If this is a real attempt, Put quotation marks. 4- YOURE AWFUL! And I still have no idea what the FUCK im reading.
AWITHA TEETHA