Why are apples the color red when it is the color blue that is cooler. It becomes discovered that the person to make them change to become the better color blue for applejack is spike. And he does it with amazing attention to extreme realizing through study.I learned to capitol the first word in a sentence and to speak with better grammer and to quote so this should be better than my last story. This is a one shot short of mine. While i work on Prince Martin Willis two.
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Await the whoosheseses.
...the fuck?
Well, let's start with... this thing.
You still have the amazing skill of using words in the worst possible way. Most of your sentences are clusterfucks of confusion; did you even preread this yourself before throwing it up here? You need to read each sentence out loud; if it sounds weird, then you need to change it.
My head hurts
It's like you wrote the story in another language then translated it through babblefish then copy/pasted the result here. Nearly every word is used in the wrong context. I'm all for SpiJack stories but this... this was nigh impossible to read.
Wow, this is just not good. Why would someone care if apples are red instead of blue? Why would someone CRY over that? And by the way, Angel is Fluttershy's pet, not Rarity's. The grammar is horrible, you misspelled some words, words that should be capitalized aren't, and some parts that should have commas don't have them.
Suddenly applejack was farming...
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Wait a minute, wait a minute...
Granny Smith nodded. “Sometimes we are like the apples and we are red. We wish to be the color blue. But we cannot change the color of ourselves to be for the happiness we desire. Instead we must allow someone with powerful magic to change us and make us what we should have been. Only then can we be happy with what our color should be all along but wasnt.”
First of all Granny Smith... when the heck did she show up? Second of all, the moral of your story is that we allow other people... to change us to the color/ideas that they prefer/we think we need to be in order to be happy...
~TWE~
Just a question:
Is English your first language?
1269207
Suddenly added to TWE.
That story was so bad it gave me cancer, or at the very least a bad cold...
Please, work on the grammar/punctuation, it makes a massive difference to how the reader perceives a story, especially at face value. Also, what's wrong with apples being red in the first place? And I highly doubt that Applejack of all ponies would have a problem with it...
Rainbow Dash however...
Trollfic, people. Move along, move along...
I think I need to go kill something. One moment please...
This is too bad to be real. The author probably made this account and story just for the laughs. Anyway, I was cringing and laughing the entire time.
1269262 TWO
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This is how it feels to read this.
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I skimmed through parts of the story to see if there was any to recover from this sentence:
Suddenly applejack was farming. It hit her with amazing creativeness and supreme recognition that she hated the color red because blue seemed to be much better when she gazed at it with intense furry.
I got to the part about Spike apparently having sex with Applejack's tail (or something) and I couldn't go any further.
The English as a Second Language thing popped into my head for a second, but there is no way that Babelfish or any Internet translation site or software could butcher something this badly. Basically, this leaves the story as either a horribly butchered trollfic or somebody needs to be prosecuted for violations of the English language.
Let's get on with it.
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apple short, what you've written is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent story were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read it. I award you no "Thumbs Up", and may God have mercy on your soul.
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You are a god among men
1269511 There is a slight possibility, but it's doubtful. Trollfics actually help when they are legible.
There isn't enough train to ram this story with,
My mind quite literally shut off trying to read the description.
I am Dead
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Choo choo.
Holy crap. I didn't realise who it was who made this thing when I first saw it... Then I read Fallen Prime's comment and did a double take.
Prince Martin Willis. It's probably going to take a long time for people to forget that one, much like the Hiroshima bomb.
And then suddenly Lord Sunder was reviewing this thing... wow, what a way to start a fic. Suddenly farming? You ever walk out your front door and realise 'holy shit, I've been digging potatoes this entire time!'? Eeenope. 'intense furry'? *Poor impression of Team Fortress' Heavy* Hohoho... is funny to me... Ye gods, this honestly reads like Timecube: The Fanfiction. There is consistency, but no cogent grammar or even meaning to some of these words. So you know how you mentioned you learned to 'capitol' the first word of a sentence. Well, I guess we can at least say you achieved what you set out to do? The rest though...
Applejack has hands, apparently. Since when? I thought she was a pony... but then I'm stupid. 'well howdy this sucks' ...
Howdy is a greeting! "Well hello, this sucks." said the depressed Lord Sunder, pointing at apple short's fic. This dialogue makes no sense, I'm sorry. Spike got kicked out of Rarity for getting into a fight with Angel bunny? Pfft... 
The words you are looking for are 'out of Rarity's' or possibly 'out of Carousel Boutique'. Damn, I feel so immature now, but I honestly had to go laugh for about thirty seconds over the mental image. Why did Spike get into a fight with Angel? Who knows. Why is Angel in the Boutique, where an animal like him may ruin any number of expensive articles of clothing? Well, it's not the stupidest concept brought up in this fic...
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It strikes me that you are possibly simply unused to English grammar, and that certain words you use just don't literally translate well. It feels like you wrote your fic in a different language, then simply plopped it into a translation engine like Babelfish and posted it without checking with an English speaker if the thing actually made sense. Strange word choices like 'fists clenched with precise annoyed wrath.'... in what way does the clenching of fists require precision? It's not like he's going to miss his palms, unless Spike is seriously deformed in this fic (how would that even work?). Not to mention 'annoyed wrath' is a tautology, like 'wet water' or the like. It makes the fic borderline unreadable, much like Timecube.
Why does Applejack suddenly like the colour blue for apples? I think you might have been trying for some kind of epiphany here, but that requires actual thought beforehand to have impact. Otherwise it feels like the character has just been mind-controlled by the author, and thus seems incredibly OOC, like it does here. Damn, just reading it is a chore. Basically, as far as I can tell, the 'plot' goes like this:
- Applejack is bucking apples and realises (for some reason) that they should be blue instead of red.
-Spike (after a fit of OOC 'tard rage) is kicked out of Rarity's and goes to Sweet Apple Acres.
-Spike consoles Applejack, who is upset by her strange fever dream, with the intent to have sex with her. She accepts this, and falls in love with him over the space of roughly three seconds.
-Spike and Applejack have sex which is thankfully cut, to charge Spike's unexplained magical powers. What is shown of the foreplay contains erotic acts such as eye licking, of all things.
-Strange and unexplained events occur. Winona appears to lick Applejack's face. Martin Willis is referenced repeatedly, much to Lord Sunder's disgust.
-Spike's unexplained magical powers turn the apples blue. Spike decides to write to Martin, because they are 'fing bros', apparently.
-Applejack is inexplicably happy because her fever dream came true. Granny Smith is conjured from the aether (or was she watching the whole time?) to dispense a moral that is made of unfortunate implications. The end.
The grammar of this thing is honestly too comprehensively flawed for me to fix in one post, really. The solution to this problem would most likely be to learn to write English properly. Capitalise names as well as the start of sentences. I noticed you even failed to do the latter near the end of the fic, which is quite tragic, given you said you had learnt to 'capitol' the start of sentences in your description. Neither Spike nor Applejack are anywhere close to being in character, and in fact are unrecognisable. Applejack's accent is there, if heavily mangled by your inability to use words properly. Most of the problems of this fic boil down to your inability to write coherent English, actually. Go away and learn that, and maybe we'll have something I can comment on besides the literary equivalent of "Nope. Try harder, please."...
I-I don't even know what too say about this. I want to go reconsider the prospect of life itself! I'm sorry man, but writing isn't your thing.... I mean, this had really no plot at all. God, I just need to go rage at my wall. I pray to Celestia that this was a troll fic!
Rarity gave birth to Spike.
Rarity gave birth to a dragon.
A pony gave birth to a dragon.
I know that it's suppose to say Rarity's boutique but it was fun to make up my own scenario instead.
1269165>>1269685>>1269737 The plot got messed up because i made it all teen rating so that more people could enjoy it and i had to cut out the best scenes like the orgy with applejack winona and spike.
Which is why winona licked applejacks face. Also spike and applejack's applesauce scene had to be cut off too. And spike wrote to martin because they are the best fucking friends in all of the world even more than the mane six. 
1269838
................
No comment.
1269838 Yeah... I think that's not what's wrong with the plot.
I think I found a way to make this good
First get rid of the entire idea your title is good but change it to "The Autumn Apple" 'suggestion'
New story and it's just a suggestion instead of whatever you wrote make it have spike innocently admire applejack whenever she blushes and lead up the romance from there, always know what you what to write before writing it
1269685 However much I like to see your ranting; This is Apple Short we're talking about. He understands writing like the Philippines understands hygiene.
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This.
This entire fic.
I will worship you as a hellish DEMON AMONG MEN!
This fic is GLORIOUS in its HORROR.
Thumbs down.
Favorited.
(BEST MORAL EVER
)
1269918 I know, but I'm fairly new here, so I felt I should try my best to review this thing. Equal opportunity reviewing and all. Not my best work, in my opinion, but then given what I was working with... It's not coherent enough for me to actually get angry at it, so the rant kinda sucks imo because all I can honestly say about it is "Learn to English."
1269838
I'm forced to overuse...
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>Wall of text.
>"Suddenly applejack was farming." There is so much wrong in that single one statement. So. Much. Wrong.
>I refuse to point out all the mistakes found. I'd have to "work" overtime.
Either you managed to troll a good lot of people, or you have committed a serious crime against the beautiful language we know as "English".
1269940 It's okay. There are just some people either too stupid/ignorant/idiotic to rant against.
After reading the description, I figured "I'll check it out and give the guy some pointers. He could certainly use them."
But then, I read the first sentences.
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1269060 What this guysaid. You need an editor badly. I'm in a group weretheyproofread.
Apple short? Another amazing story from Apple Short?! Liked, faved, expecting a dramatic reading.
1269391 ...I don't know what feeling that's trying to convey...
EPIC FORESHADOWING
1270116 I had an editor and it didnt go so well so now i am improving singlely by myself.
1269879 I might make a new fic with that title it sound cool.
1270325 I remember that. You told him to fuck off after he advised you not to post a story or AT LEAST take his name off the credits for it. And then sent a less-than-sincere apology about it. You know, 1269207 this guy?
Yeah. Word gets around in our little gang. I think the others gave you enough shit for it.
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Okay, seriously? Fucking seriously? God damn it, if you fucking tried you couldn't fuck up this badly. I am still completely flabbergasted. Dear reader of today's FFF, what you are about to see is the absolute destruction of the mere concept of language. There's no other way to describe it. The writer has literally violated the very ideals of spelling. THIS IS THE RAPE OF REASON!
This is HERESY and under the seal of the god emperor, he shall be subjected to a Pissus Offus Englishus Teacherus.
"The story" revolves around some batshit insane concept of Applejack making the apples blue (?) for Spike (??) or something along those lines. I'm afraid I was too busy ingesting massive doses of alcohol. I simply need to destroy my liver and my mind in order to be able to process this act of terrorism on paper. Actually, scratch that, let's just get down and dirty here, shall we?
Suddenly applejack was farming.
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I...
A-ah...
Uhhh...
YEP
It hit her with amazing creativeness and supreme recognition that she hated the color red because blue seemed to be much better when she gazed at it with intense furry.
What the fuck. Just...what. I'm sorry, my brain would explode but it would appear that all my braincells have collapsed into dust. Let's get a little breakdown in, shall we:
1.) "Amazing creativeness" and "supreme recognition"
2.) "She hated the colour red" Bu-but, her cuti-
3.) Intense furry
Intense...
Furry...
INTENSE FURRY
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WHAT THE DICKENS?!!?!?!
Her brows rose and she eyed the apples in her hands and sighed with her eyes closed to tears and her body shook with intense pain and upsetting and deep despair of the worst kind.
I can't tell if this is a story or if the writer is really into dadaist poetry
Only because ast . “well howdy this sucks!” She screamed with maliscoius excitement and threw the apples at the tree and bucked the air with both back feet.
Maliscoius. I actually had to squint and lean in so that I could copy that. Suddenly, I am afraid that I will never be able to spell "malicious" correctly again.
...holy fuckballs, this is retarded...
Spike who was nearby because he was kicked out of rarity
He was kicked...
...OUT OF RARITY?
SPIKE GOT KICKED OUT OF RARITY???
for being an asshole
That makes some sense, yeah.
and beating the shit out of the angle bunny roared. “What the heck!” He stuck his tongue out with flames that triangled out in red and his fists clenched with precise annoyed wrath. Smoke piled upon him and he cried immensely and loudly. “You stupid butthole you plugged me with the stupid red apples!”
I don't know what the author's on but if he sees Angel the bunny like this, I want some.
He bit into one. His chin and teeth gnashing it to tiny red bits of food. That would soon be disassembled into his smokey ears and nose holes to become his wretched flame.
And now, a flowery description of the devil (Angel?) eating an apple. What.
“Well im sorry but these apples have pissed me off spike ok yall.” applejack sipped the cider.
The only time when you get pissed at apples is when your cider is pure acid.
She sat down and cried with heaving plot and deep breasted sorrow. Spike watched her depressed body and licked his lips as seductively as he could.
Heaving plot? Spike licking his lips seductively? Uh-oh, we're heading for surrealist neo-avantgarde clop here.
“It is ok because i am here for you.” She sobbed but did not stop him from being there. “I just like the color blue so much yall.” She wept with immense fear of tearing and she covered her face with one hoof and rubbed her pony neck with the other. Because spike had got to her.
There has to be a deeper meaning to all of this, there simply has to be. Nobody writes something this bad for no reason what so ever. Maybe this is a concept fic? The problem is we don't actually see the extremely well hidden motifs of sorrow, abandonment, sexual confusion and the complete erosion of the human soul?
“I will help you change there stupid color!” his tongue became long like and he slid it in and out of her ears and against her mane and against her eyes.
Spike is licking Applejack's eyes. I absolutely despise the fic but I simply adore all the surrealist and neo-psychedelic subtext. I still can't decide if this is horrifying or brilliant.
Twilight taught me to magic things and make them cool because I am destined for being amazing.” He sparkled like the sky with a billion stars and Celests mane all rolled into one. He was super needy because rarity had cut him off and he squeezed her with sexy prowess.
Somebody needs to recite this in a smoky Parisian bar whilst wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses, a pink strap-on and a turtleneck.
His tongue filtered between her horse mane hair and he squeeled with exceptional pleasure. “We have to be together like Martin Willis though to charge my mage powers.”
Martin Willis? Mane powers? Absolutely fucking amazing percussive neo-paganist jazzcore poetry.
“Well I guess that can’t be helped then ponyhowdy.”
PONYHOWDY! SARTRE YES, MY NEW CATCHPHRASE HAS ARRIVED!
She said it to seem coy and flirting in appearance but deep. Down spike had turned her into a roaring stallion of the most viral and pleasure seeking.
Viral AND pleasure seeking? You better seek out some condoms, mizz Applejack.
“we should probably hurry though so I dont harvest all the apples before they change color.” She drank the cider.
“Yeah.” Spike quited with unbelievable accuracy and lifted his tongue to her lips. “Kiss me then we will make love.”
And then they made love in the middle of a garbage dump just outside Geneva, all the while sensually wrapped in lettuce! Yes! And then, I put them on my tortilla and fed them to the hungry mouths of the earth!
applejack blushed to the color of apples all over her skin and opened her mouth so they could make out.
Then spike made love to her.
...I swear, Andre Breton is crying in his grave right now...
“Ya that feels so good.” He licked her mane and tail to taste her secretly to become empored with feeling.
“SHUCKS SPIKE THAT IS SO BUCKING GOOD!” Applejack screamed with pleasure to spite. Let her sexy straw hair down and spike became inside of her and they were happy.
*In posh East End intellectual accent* You see here, ladies and gentlemen, you see, here we 'ave a deep, overwhelming story about courage, existence, the meaning of life and the very darkest depths of the human soul. Spike IS in fact the earth, gradually entombing Applejack within his own form while being entombed within hers!
Suddenly winona.
*Posh accent continues* Winona here, represents the thing we all crave for, the ultimate release from life...
She was so pleased.
Nuclear war.
*Posh intellectual falls into manhole, exploding into a joyful star-system*
She wanted to join and help the farm become a better colored place than red and she had decided that she would cheer them on and that way the farm could have rare blue apples and become the coolest apple farm in all of ponyville and aqestria to the point that even twilight would be jealous of the might that spike produced with his love magic and understanding of deep points of pony skills.
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Uhhh-SHIKISHIKSHIKSHIKSHIKSHIKSHIK
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BROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLIBROCOLLI
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I AM YOU AND WHAT I SEE IS ME!
So spike let winona be. Winona licked applejacks face. And spike lifting his feet with extra care to be beside applejack one last time in quietness. they all had the greatest of marvelous sociable love and spike was fulfilled to laugh at rarity having cut him off for defeating the tyranny of her stupid pet angel.
“Now I will cast the stupid fing spell.” He screeched beyond loudness raising his neck so that his flame made him turn from purple to orange like applejack and she blushed.
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OUI! OUI, MON CHERIE! JE SUIS TON MERDE!
“apples beish blueicus.” He spit fire so high it reached the sun and celest saw it from canterlot.
Then all the apples became the color of red to the color blue.
AW YISS, AND THEN IT RAINED SALAD AND PISSED-OFF NINJA DUCKS!
“Heck yeah spike.” applejack beamed with immense pride and sipped the cider. “This is so awesome yall.” She eyed the now blue apples with acceptance and was pleased with him to the point they all made love once more in ecstatic celebration at their fantastic deed of saving the dullness of SWEET APPLE ACRES.
WHAT ARE YOU?!?!
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WHAT AM I?!?!?!
Spike cried a little though because martin wasnt there to cheer and help. he knew that martin was busy and the most special pony ever though and could not always be there with spike around. So he forgave him and with a laugh that tickled his heart to dark twisted desire. He lifted a claw and crushing it to a fist. Proclaimed. “I will write the actions of my deeds to share with him. because we are fing bros.”
THE SCREAM OF THE MIND KNOWS NO RELEASE THE SCREAM OF THE MIND KNOWS NO RELEASE THE SCREAM OF THE MIND KNOWS NO RELEASE
BEAUDELAAAAIIIIRRREEEE!!!!
And Applejack didnt mind because she was so pleased with the color of the apples and being together with Spike. Applejack sipped the cider. It was another great day in ponyville working hard and being friends with everyone like spike.
AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND AND ROUND!
Spike grinned to ecstacy and laughed rolling his tongue like magic. “it was good to be with applejack.” he wrote last to his self letter and sighed.
ECSRACY! DAMN YOU, YOU POST-MODERNIST FASCIST PRISONER OF THE SEVEN STARSYSTEMS! LIIIIIBBBEEEEERRAAAAATTTTTEEEE!
DUCKS!
Granny Smith nodded. “Sometimes we are like the apples and we are red. We wish to be the color blue. But we cannot change the color of ourselves to be for the happiness we desire. Instead we must allow someone with powerful magic to change us and make us what we should have been. Only then can we be happy with what our color should be all along but wasnt.”
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b9/MagrittePipe.jpg
I SCREAM FOR THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE FOR SCREAMING BECAUSE OF THE THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE
Spike glowed in pride at being called a mage and gave the thumbs up sign to granny smith.
Applejack sipped the cider and nodded.
AAAARARARARRARARARARARARARARARARAARARRARARARARARARARARARRARARARARARARARARARRAARRAARRARARARARARARARARARRARARARARARARARARARARRARARARARARARAR
PLLLLLLLRRRRRBBBBTTT!
It was all good.
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KAAAAABOOOOOOOM
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*bleeeeeeep*
1270771 ...
(pokes PeaceColt)
Uh... apple short, I think you broke him.
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Thats what this is!
Sorry to be an ass like the rest....but this fic was just plain embarrassing....I'm so embarrassed for you!
Learn English a bit and try again please....... never give up!
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Sorry to be an asshole....but this fic was just plain embarrassing....I'm so embarrassed for you!
Learn English a bit and try again please....... never give up!
1270771
MAN DOWN!
>I learned to capitol the first word in a sentence
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