one
After the utter and humilating defeat of the discord came a time of peace for Prince Martin Willis and the people of Ponyville. There was much sex and love and also Twilight married Willis but he was allowed to sleep with anything that needed help. This was all going to change when the owl of twilight appeared one day while doing drugs and we were partying and having massive sex.
“My owl is freaking high right now i think” Twilight screeched with the loudness of a million lost hearts and she was aptly upset and she visably cried with unbelievable passion and raw emoticon at the sight of the horror of the owl doing hard drugs like pot not just smoking like cigarettes.
“I always knew I was the better assistant to you!” said spike squeezing her plot and understanding that she was going through a hard time so leaving it at one squeeze. .(ps I let him do that cause we are tight) Openly I disdained him for the comment of cruel and unacceptable misdirection of hatred over his rival and stuck my tongue out for the pleasing of twilights nerves to be much eased. But spike and I high fived because we are buds and that was the truth. And it was funny.
Also guys my cutie mark is no longer a portle gun because I have defeated the discord and saved Equestria with it. So it became the heads of the mane six since my goal is to make them feel sexy. I am still orange with blue stripes and still have all the powers of the gun though. Also I still have one secret power that no ones knows left for special use within the later part of this.
The owl was marked for terrestrial switching since the entry of our world was inside of us all and he understood the power of being awake with knowledge and it was misbegotten with fear of the people that surround us in our every day life of horror and boredom.
I comforted her and secret high fived spike with much winking and motioned if he had gotten lucky with rarity since the summoning and he bunny speaked (we did that now since I traded lessons in love with rarity cat to angel bunny for it) back that ya it was so. and it was so. Then appointing my attention to my wife Twilight whom I love the best I made her understand with a hug and some French kisses and a squeeze below and above on her tingling body that her owl was probably just going thru a phase and that everyone does hard drugs once to see the feeling that it cause for the Aquestria.
“You are so freaking smart Martin” she bowed sexily with her mane and whispered playing with my hair that “is why I love you.” That slightly caused me to be mildly upset and annoyed to a tiny amount of being a little mad but I let it slide because she had had a long morning. Finding the owl (odeed) on pot.
That night we had all the mane six and Celest over for a sleep over at the order of her. And Celest brought Nightmare Moon. “My students fuck off. I must talk to Willis in the deepest of secret aloneness” she decreed with a massive voice of booming authority and a stamp of massive preportions that uncontrollably made us all be controlled to obey. “Willis” she spoke in a sexy voice tickling my ear and guts and tail and mane and hooves and nose and I sheepishly blushed and coyly hugged her.
“hi Lessy.” (Spoken like the word less and then e as in cheese. The s sounds like s not z because she is straight. Lessy is our nickname for her name and she accepts it as so)
“Hi Martin” She blushed back with beet red cheeks and heaving breasts because we always were close just not like Twilight and me. Because Twilight is purple and that is a cooler color than white and even Lessy knew of such things as the hard truth of the matter despite our deep connection and forever love.
“Nightmare Moon is having a bad day and she loves you since you saved the world and wants to be with you super quick if that is ok.” I squeezed her plot and gave her the thumbs up sign with one hand while touching her pony boobs with the other. Which meant we were cool and I asked if spike could come since we tend to share everything. “It will be as you shall want it martin and I hereby command you my student to go make love to Nightmare Moon.”
(Also I replaced Twilight as her favorite because we all agreed that that was better since I really was better than all the mane six combined.
I kissed Nightmare Moons butt and rubbed her other place and all six of her boobs. (she had six boobs because she is a pony nympho) That she got from transfusion and we made love to spikes help. Who licked us both all the way from inside our noses to the outer ring of our hooves sexily.
"OH CRAP THAT IS FREAKING GOOD DUDE." She used the Canterlots voice. And we had the most awesomely extreme and tasteful groupgasm in existence to ever touch Ponyville.
Suddenly the mane six burst through! Followed by celest! “It is freaking terrible martin screamed Celest” weeping and batting her wings and waving her hair while lifting her arms skyward with fear that twisted the joy from our loving and caused us to be deeply depressed with woa. “The owl is awake and he is superhigh and has a freaking spell book! We are royally screwed my students.” she yawned and we cried and I moaned in horror. And Fluttershy Pinkie Pie Rainbowdash shut their ears to withhold the knowledge of sadness from them and Twilight and Fluttershy and Celest hugged and kissed and played with each other and wept. For what appeared to be the final time and Applejack drank some Cider and patted my back and comforted me. While I stared into my hands thinking about the fate of us and shut my mind to the terrible fate that would undoubtedly destroy the future of happiness momentarily.
The owl burst through insanely spitting and he was on the pot and we fell asleep.
My dream happened. “This has come to pass now Martin” my dream spoke in an eerie voice like Ponified Morgan Freeman. “and your days of being at peace with the universe are about to be very changed up. Things will be different in a way that will prevent them from being the same again.”
I woke up sweaty and grapped at the mane of Twilight who slept next to me when the owl had come breathing into it for comfort and because it calmed us both. “This is the worstest news that has ever happened” I cried mightily and screamed like an anguished beast in mortified horror.
“What is the issue Martin?” Twilight sleepily hugging me to comfort. Asked in mild surprise.
“You will not freaking believe this crap I screeched horsely” (Lol!! I know its misspelled but get it? HORSEly XD) “Because I have just had an unbelievable dream featuring the voice of a famous dude who was on the earth back when I lived there and not in Equestria as your boyfriend.”
Suddenly the owl appeared and it was smoking pony diamond shards because weed was no longer eenough. “Hoo” it said somewhat lazily. “and because your dream means that it is going to be a horrible accident in the future.” It smoked the pot hard.
“That is some perfect knowledge I agreed” And Twilight seconded my agreeing with the owl and we kissed him slightly to show our gratitude but without tongue cause he still pot smoked despite our disapproval. I stroked his feathers seductively to tame him and shined his beak with my love of animals and Tehn everything got bad as losing the tournament at PORTAL to my loser friend jack rentonn. Who was mean for no reason even if it was his xbox because he was a dick and I came up with the idea to go there and have a tournament not him! So he should grow up and die because he is a slut puppet. And he only won because I am over PORTAL now and much more into the mane six. Who are not stupid like jack rentonn. Whose last name also sucks.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” Twilight cried out with ecstacy and strife in a moment of tense horror and her hooves covered her pony place. “What have you done foul second rate typer compared to spike” she screamed!
I wondered the issue and moved her hands. My jaw dropped like thunder and I widened my eyes and cried blood. “Twilight you have a man stick!” I looked around and saw so did the rest of the mane six. Celest didn’t and neither did Nightmare Moon but still it was bad.
“He has done the worst curse spell from my secret book of spells that go towards those who hate you Martin” Ever Twilight she sat down and raised. Her arms her mane and tail lifted up in shame and the worst of all. Lost hope and she greyed like she did in the first episode with discord. “He cast on us all DICKUS CREATUS and I cannot switch it back.”
I hugged her avoiding her unpony and unwife like bulge. The suddenly I really wanted to go see spike because we are bros and can shed tears over this together and just be cool.
Alright so I fixed all the writing problems you guys said from the last one. I joined the writers group learned to separate sentences and when people talk. And capitol the first word in a sentence and edited it all myself so the story should be good now.
Next chapter I will go with Celest who still can be loved and Nightmare Moon who can be loved but is shyer despite her rough personality and we will go to Granny Smith for knowledge about what to do and to fix the spell DICKUS CREATUS and Granny Smith will give me the secret of apple whispering for knowledge. Also I will meet my own pet probably called fluffy because he is an air breathing dolphin that Zecora gave me from her homeland in the other part of Equestria. We meet Zecora maybe too.
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Mother of Celestia, are you simply blind to any sort of negativism? You. Can't. Write. Worth. Shit. Give up.
And so it finally arrives.
*snaps on gloves*
Alright. Time to to dig into a big 'ol pile of horse shit.
EDIT: I am going to enjoy this far more than I should.
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CHOO CHOO MOTHER FUCKER!
Whoosh!
RAW EMOTICON
I AM SO LOVING THIS
Can someone ban this idiot?
I can't tell if this is a troll fic or not. I honestly can't.
This is hilariously bad. It's like My Immortal. Is this a real thing?
lolwut?
LOLWUT?!
I'm sorry, i know I should keep my cool and try to help you out here with some advice, but this is so fucking hilarious I just can't. I'm still freaking laughing.
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Can't agree with that
1379582 I think it turned out better than imagined and anyone can write well if they put the extra knowledge of achieving power there. besides better to shun negativism with a violent bat of hatred than to succomb to the gloom of deep unjustified malcrios and feel bad like death was here.
1379619
I just can't...
I did the last "Prince Martin Willis" story. I'm sorry, guys... I just- I just can't do it again.
NATOstrike ~ TWE Railroad Maintenance Engineer
Just think, if that aproval system thing goes through and is used, we can stop the garbage like this from ever making it past approval. //dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Sweetie_Belle_lolface.png
i cannot see why this is not loved more, Willis is amazing.
1379867
...You're joking right?
1379655 You... I can't even... Your creations are something to be dreaded, how hard is it to understand? Are all the downvotes too vague for you?
<~~~~See this trash bin? Use it. I don't think I...no, the world...can handle another Martin Willis story.
Anyone got some brain bleach? I'm all out.
Has nobody gotten the point that he's moved from being serious to writing trollfics just to get the attention?
People like this deserve ridicule at first. Then they deserve silence when they keep coming back.
You're impossible, apple short.
You've been given help once before. It was still a bad story, considering how flawed your concept of storytelling is and the only actual tweaks being to grammar and spelling, but because you didn't get instant love, you ditched your helper and abandoned all hope of help.
You've been insisting on improving on your own. You've learned capitalization. THAT IS ALL YOU'VE LEARNED. Your spelling and grammar are still terrible, your stories are still atrocious, and you have, in essence, learned nothing of significant value.
And now I see THIS: 1379867
One of the biggest Gary Stus of our time, one of the least likable OCs I've ever seen... and you call him "amazing." Either you're defending yourself with that, assuming the pRince is your self-insert, or you've been trolling us the whole time.
If this is all an elaborate trolling mission, I applaud you for your ability to rustle all these jimmies sitewide. If you're actually trying to write good stories... then you are one of the worst kinds of authors. The kind that refuses help, the kind that either doesn't change at all or changes in all the worst possible ways. Martin Willis is despicable, and yet you insist on mentioning him in every story you write as if he was the god of awesomeness. You say you want to improve, but you refuse to change.
I only have these tips for you: Stop writing clop. Stop writing about this fuckface Willis. Get a dictionary so you can actually UNDERSTAND the big words you've been putting in random and unfitting places. Get a proofreader to fix your goddamn grammar. Get a creative consultant to make sure all these terrible ideas you keep having for stories either change radically or die before they can harm anyone.
1379867 He is obviously trolling now. So there is no point in talking or even viewing any of his works. Just leave and let him continue posting stories because it not worth the trouble.
WHAT DID I READ?!
1379827
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1379629
Bad Writing =/= Ban
also
1379867
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1379655
Knowledge which you apparently lack. You haven't been improving at all.
1380103 1380067 1379924 1379879 1379641 1380086 maybe my writing is not the thing that isflawed to rejection of knowledge but with a resound it is your view on how stories here are meant to be. its a fucking site for fanfics. OF ALL KIND. i like Prince Martin Willis how the king of portles he is and to me Willis is well balanced and even believed to be funny even if i dont meant it even that way and dont even like it atlaest those people are even enjoying it. so yes unbelievably with awe it amazes me you all hate him. i honestly tried to improve with a thirst that kept me grey and up and red eyed and bleary. i got laughed at and told my stories still sucked? so why should i keep trying to improve. its a waste of my time when i like my stories the way they are now. im not gonna work for approval for a single group of bullies that use violent thunderstorms to distract with viscos blood sucking renders of laughs whose goal is to plague budding authors with spewing acid. there is a reason your all sites shas so many fics deleted from it. ya i have been watching your twe with secret vigilence like batman you people of crashes you kill new authors with hate. you scare away possibly the next greatest most amazing brilliant fanfic creator and you do it all in the name of because you can't spell like i want. and whenever these sometimes as young as merely 10 year old kids fight back because they love their story and their alicorn or there version of applejack you go apeshit. it floors me to unquenching rage. maybe it is them that have bad versions of the shows characters but you forgot the point of MLP FIM in the first place. love caring kindness and tolerating.
my plot progresses you yourself said as OOC according to you my characters are they still stay within the ideas i give them of their character. most of you who hate on my clop are self admitted clop haters and shipping haters in the first place. You think i dont know about your trainy group going around trying to "help" authors. you guys post choo choo motherfucker and tell the author to go to hell. most of you probably are not even dont write stories and the few that do look down on everyone you review. sorry if i never took yoru advice but if thats how you give it why the fuck would i want it. your idea of help is like hitting a guy whos on fire to put him out. yeah he was on fire and yeah he should be greatful you stopped by to help but you couldve grabbed some motherfucking hose right next to him.
yes i know that by posting here im asking for critisism. yes i know that i probably have more to learn than i can even come up with. but dont tell me that you all are just trying to help. your all weird dragons with fucknut eyes and crystal eyes filled with led and lap up the blood of those fearful of praise.
1380207 It's not that, but the fact he keeps at this! He's a fething troll!
1380226 i cannot achieve hearing of comments you make over the sound of delete button by my side.
1380231
I'd figure my comment rang true if you're deleting it.
1380237 well what is to be expected with certainty? im sorry and am not trying to be mean but you all have beraged me with momentary anger.
1380217
What part of calling you a troll and attention whore did you not get?
You're not going to improve, you're going to continue to write shitty fanfics with a Gary Stu OC who started off as a self-insert and continue to get bad reviews.
So there's only two possibilities for this. The first is that you simply don't care yet you obviously care because you responded so it can't be that.
This means that you are in effect trolling for flames and this is all part of your plan to get attention. So keep writing those fanfics about yourself... sorry I meant "pRince Martin Willis (lol)" and you'll be sure to catch more fish in your trolling net.
So I came here with an open mind. I had seen what you did with the original one, and it was... painfull. Then I've read both your Rainbow Dash Gets Pierced and Spike Fights The Angel Bunny. Those were utter crap too.
Making Apple Pie... this was not that bad, if you compare it to your other works. Sadly it was not even written by you, so I canot even count it in. Your least bad story, and it even written by you!
First thing I see is this!
.... at least it ain't as screwed up as the tittle in the previous one.
But I came to this, hoping you try to redeem yourself to at least to an acceptable level of stupidity.
So I open chapter 'one' and begin to read.
....
...I think my inner muse is rapidly vomiting.
A-aquestria? S-still that SAME MISTAKE?!
WHAT?! How in the- Just why- Eh...
Dear author, why?
Why do you need to include Nightmare Moon into this and as it IS IMPOSSIBLE. Last time I watched the end of second part of episode 1, she got her flank kicked by the Elements of Harmony and destroyed.
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Okay, I'm done here. Not even gonna read the rest of it throughly. What I can gather is that they have sex yadda yadda, nothing seems really interesting. Is sorta of orgy. Morgan Freeman ponified, something I'd like o very much see happen. More real world refrences. Some dude named Jack and-
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I'm... just...*sigh* Martin, this isn't right. Simple as that. You cannot write something like this like that, with a snap of a finger and except all of us to see it in your way. All of this clop and the text itself is just... sick. Sick beyond any form of imagination. You have absolute zero reason to even try and defend your stance as to why this story is like what it is.
There's nothing you can present to us that will change our view on this. NOTHING! So stop even trying to defend yourself, you're just digging you own grave deeper.
Hydkore
Regular chap from TWE
1380248 i dont care if you think im a troll or attention eater or whatever all i said is all anyone whos stories you all attack is say with vengeance and that is that if you are unappealing and all you do is post shit then dont post at all.
1380241
I still don't know why you use so many adjectives, it's a waste of effort.
Never seen someone write too much just to get their point across.
1380283 what is an adjectives you mean using descriptiveness?
1380290
There's a difference. 'Descriptiveness' is accurately describing a scene in a story.
'Adjectives' are what you're currently dumping over your sentence in order to make your point more viable. Words that describe nouns, words that should be used in moderation. Something you should hold back on, like the clop, eh?
It's distracting.
1380279
I'm sorry, was that supposed to be English?
1380298 1380312 1380318 fine you all think that me to follow your way as the crush of vigor on my story and that you are helpers? you of the twe want to think you are better to name three fucking things and ill put it into the next chapter with care to observe the facts that are assumed (third one only because to get it in the second chapter was already written) any three things you name within on to be creation and ill put it in and base the story to be furthured with its agreeing it. same thing i did with my last editor and that wen so well.
also thank you for the understandment of the word Adjectives i will try to be less word used.
Well, I'm off to go drink some antifreeze.
1380320
Three things? Ok.
1) No more clop unless it's emotionally involved, and no, I'm not including any of the relationships you currently have going as part of that algorithm. The clop stops here, and goes no further until you have a proper relationship running, or it helps to push the plot forward.
2) No more sex-powered portal capabilities. No more portal capabilities. Just. No more portals. You're honestly making me hate one of the best puzzle games on the market today.
3) No more Willis until he is properly described, and no, you cannot simply say "I'll explain him later." I want an explanation for him NOW. I don't care if you dedicate the entire story to describing him, I want you to make him an interesting fucking character.
Everything else, the TWE will eventually hammer into your head over time, but these three points must be addressed immediately.
1380320 Three things? Okay.
Use proper spelling and grammar.
Use words you actually know the meanings of instead of throwing in random adjectives to try and make it sound better.
Give the show another vigorous watching and FIX THE MANE SIX'S PERSONALITIES TO MATCH. You can't have them act like this unless you give them character development leading to it.
Note how I avoided the topic of your dreadful OC. I know you won't be moved on that point.
And by the way, that story you had an editor for WENT BETTER THAN ALL YOUR OTHER STORIES COMBINED.
1379867 You are a troll, aren't you?
1380320
I'm sorry, but I don't speak retard. Syntactically it looks like a variant of English but when I try to understand what you're writing I just get word salad out of it.
I mean is this the way you speak in your day to day life or do you just happen to try to write in a Dadaist fashion?
Seriously, no joke here, but my brain feels like it's in a cuisinart trying to decrypt what it is you're saying.
1380349
Yes he is, but for the moment he's an amusing one.
1380336 1380341 fine third chapter no clop no willis no portles and no willis unleaved. hell be explained ill even try using simple wordening and the plot will evolve like him too.
1380364
I almost understood that, you're improving.
Or have you simply given up Dadaism and are moving towards surrealism now?
1380364
I've got high expectations, apple. Don't screw up.
1380364 I've got my eye on you...
1380397
Huh. You're not wrong, but I can't say I've heard that one before.
1380364
Love it. Thumbs up, would buy again. I am going to use the shit out of the word 'wordening' from now on.
My brain seems to have a hard time making my fingers type it, though. Oh well, practice practice practice.
1380397
Yeah, I haven't really figured that one out yet, either.
NATOstrike ~ TWE Railroad Maintenance Engineer