• Published 20th Aug 2012
  • 8,173 Views, 102 Comments

Acquiesce - HoofBitingActionOverload



Rainbow Dash has been dating Pinkie Pie for nearly a month and, in spite of Pinkie’s objections, is keeping it a secret from the rest of their friends. Deciding she's had enough, Pinkie Pie throws a party announcing their relationship.

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Part 4

Rainbow Dash peered into the window, her gaze darting back and forth across the dark room inside. Nothing, she thought to herself in disappointment. She glided towards the next, still not entirely sure what it was that she was looking for. She had spent all afternoon searching the apple farm without success. She had spotted Big Mac plowing a field when she first arrived, but the rest of the Apple family seemed to have disappeared. Dash began to suspect that Mr. Cake had lied to her.

Spying in another window, Dash noticed an ancient looking mare napping soundly in a rocking chair. She didn’t know Granny Smith well, or anything about her really, besides that she was Applejack’s grandmother. But if Pinkie Pie was around the farm, she would probably know. In the very least, she could tell Dash where Applejack was hiding. After breaking a few hinges, the pegasus forced her way through the window and into the room.

“Hey, Granny Smith, have you seen Pinkie Pie anywhere?” she asked, talking casually as possible.

The old mare muttered a reply too quiet for Dash to hear, apparently still lost somewhere in her dreams. Dash wondered absently what old ponies’ dreams were about. Pickle juice, perhaps?

She grabbed Granny in both hooves and shook her roughly. “Hey, wake up!” she shouted.

Granny’s eyes flashed open wildly. “Whozits, bandits?!”

“No.” Dash shook her head. “Have you seen Pinkie Pie?”

“A pink what now?” Granny asked perplexedly before waving her away with a hoof. “Just shoo it off with the broomstick.” She dropped her eyelids again, grumbling something about ‘youngins never knowing how to get things done on their own.’

“No, Pinkie Pie,” Dash said slowly, drawing out each consonant. “The pony. Have you seen her?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Granny answered, opening her eyelids. The old mare eyes lit up as if she was seeing Rainbow Dash for the first time. “Well, my, my, my, ya’ sure are a mighty fine specimen of a stallion, now ain’t ya?” She looked Dash over approvingly.

“Thanks, but I…” Dash paused, replaying what she’d just heard over in her mind. “Wait, did you just call me a stallion?”

Granny Smith eyed her coquettishly. “You oughta’ be put to work. Ya’d make a fine farm colt.” She leaned her head forward, dropping her voice, “And good lookin’ to boot. Why, if I was only a few years younger…”

Rainbow Dash began backing away nervously. “Uh… yeah…” Clearly, Granny Smith had gone senile many years ago.

“There you are,” she heard a familiar voice call from behind her.“ Macintosh said he saw you flyin’ around the farm.”

Applejack trotted up to her side. “Ah assume you’re here for Pinkie?”

“She’s here?” Dash asked in disbelief. “I looked everywhere.”

“Yup, she’s sitting down in the barn right now,” Applejack answered with a nod. Of course, the one place she hadn’t looked. “I’ll walk with ya.”

As they turned to leave, Rainbow Dash heard the crazed mare behind them yell out again. “This one here sure is handsome Applejack. Ya’ should git a ring on ‘im before he takes off!”

“No problem Granny,” Applejack called back, winking at the blushing pegasus.

__________________________________________________

Rainbow Dash and Applejack walked along the path to the barn silently. Dash had never had any trouble talking with her friend in the past. The farm pony always seemed willing to hear about her latest stunt or prank, but now it felt like there was some kind of wall in between them. It seemed like she was supposed to say something, but Dash wasn’t sure what that something was.

“So what took ya’ so long?” Applejack asked, shattering the quiet. “We’ve been waiting for you all day.”

The question hung in the air for several long moments while Dash considered how to answer. “I… I needed to figure some stuff out.”

Silence fell over the two friends once again. Dash opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again when Applejack abruptly stopped walking. “Listen, there’re some things I need ta’ say.”

So here it was, the lecture. The Dash briefly considered making a break for it and flying to safety before the other pony could begin talking.

“Ah’m disappointed in you Rainbow Dash,” she said sternly. “Ah understand you were upset, getting outed like that. Ah probably would’ve been angry too if somepony had given away a secret of mine in front of everypony.”

Dash absent-mindedly folded and extended her wings, waiting for the reproach to end. “Yeah, it’s—"

“But that ain’t how you should’ve handled it,” Applejack continued. Dash flicked her tail in annoyance. She hated being interrupted.

“Don’t get me wrong, what Pinkie did wasn’t right either, but yellin’ at her and calling her names was not the right way to deal with it. And then ya’ just flew off, not giving anypony a chance to speak. What you did was immature and inconsiderate.”

“Immature?” Dash cried, angrily. “That’s a load of—“

“Let me finish.” Applejack’s voice softened as she placed a hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “We’re your friends, whenever there’s a problem, we can sit down an’ work it out with ya’.” She flashed a small smile. “Next time, I expect you to stay and talk, no more shoutin’ and flyin’ off, ya’ hear?”

Rainbow Dash nodded and looked away, unable to meet her friend’s eyes. “I’m sorry you know.”

“Ah know,” Applejack said, starting to walk again. “And you’re here now. That’s what’s important.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” Dash questioned apprehensively, but Applejack only gave her a puzzled look in reply. “You know… me and Pinkie Pie… together…”

Applejack laughed. “’Course Ah am, Ah’m happy for you. Can’t say Ah’m surprised actually, Pinkie always was sweet on you.”

Dash sighed inwardly, another pony who apparently already knew. She was beginning to wonder if there was ever any point in trying to keep it a secret in the first place. “So you don’t mind that we’re both… mares?”

“Shucks, why would I?” Applejack asked, looking somewhat offended. “And if you find anypony who does, just send em’ on over to me, I’ll straighten em’ out.”

Dash grabbed her in a quick hug. “Thank you.”

Applejack blushed, embarrassed by the sudden display of affection. “Whoa now, it’s no big deal, Sugarcube.”

“It’s a big deal to me,” Dash replied, letting go. She found herself standing in front of the barn door. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

“Ah’m sure she already has.”

Dash faced the barn. Pinkie Pie was in there, right on the other side of the door. A sharp chill ran down the course of her spine as she reached a hoof out towards the handle. It was the same feeling she had whenever she stood on a cloud, high above the ground, readying to dive off into the abyss. A familiar mix of excitement and tension washed through her body. Something was different about this though. Her stomach was tightening and a hard dry lump was forming in her throat, making breathing difficult.

Applejack must have sensed what she was going on in her head. “Just go talk to her, everything’ll be fine.”

Applejack had never been one to lie. Besides, she was Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash wasn’t afraid of anything. With one final gulp, she pushed the barn door open.

Rarity’s voice wafted towards her through the open door. “I told you already, you have to wait for her to come to you.”

The inside of the barn was typical of what Rainbow Dash figured the inside of a barn should look like. There were piles of hay in the corners, a variety of farming equipment littered the floor, and several groups of stalls lined the walls. What struck her as odd was how lifeless the barn was. She had expected to at least find some cows or chickens milling about, but instead the barn was completely devoid of life. All save for two ponies sitting on a bench in the corner.

Pinkie Pie’s face immediately brightened when she saw who had entered the barn. “Dashie!” she yelled, running up to the pegasus and wrapping her forelegs around her. Dash returned the embrace wordlessly. She held on tight, trying to stretch the moment on for as long as possible.

Rarity trotted up to them with a snort. “Don’t you know that it’s impolite to keep a lady waiting?”

"I’m sorry Pinks,” Dash said, finally pulling out of the hug.

“I wasn’t talking about her,” Rarity interjected. “She wanted to stay. But do you know how long I’ve been sitting in this distasteful barn?” she asked with a look of deep revulsion. “It’ll take weeks to wash this stench off.”

Dash rolled her eyes. “How terrible for you.”

Rarity held an offended hoof to her chest. “I need to smell my best, I’ll be dating again soon.”

Dash groaned. The last thing she was worrying about at that particular moment was Rarity’s love life, but she needed to be polite. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yes,” Rarity answered. “I was holding out for a certain pony, but...” She looked away dejectedly. “Well, it’s beginning to look like that isn’t going to work out. I was really certain it would too. I’ve never met anypony more driven or ambitious…”

Ugh, she looks pretty down. Dash knew she was good at a lot of things, but words weren’t one of them. That was Twilight’s territory. Unfortunately, she wasn’t there, and Pinkie didn’t seem to have anything to say, so the task of cheering up their friend fell to her. Great...

“Yeah but you’re, you know, pretty and stuff,” Dash said, waving a hoof. “I’m sure you’ll be able to get any stallion you want.”

Rarity’s face flushed. “You really think so?”

“Why would I lie about that?” Dash had to fight to keep the annoyance out of her voice.

“Thank you so much, Rainbow Dash!” Rarity cried, smiling extravagantly.

“Uh huh.” Dash waited for the unicorn to say something else, but she just kept smiling and staring at her. Dash cleared her throat loudly. “So, maybe Pinkie and I could get a minute alone?”

“Oh yes, of course,” Rarity replied, walking towards the door. Abruptly, she stopped and turned around.

“Rainbow Dash, if you and Pinkie ever…” She seemed to think better of whatever it was she was going to say and shook her head. “Just know that I’m always here for you,” she said with a smile that almost looked sad.

Dash nodded. “Yeah, sure thing.”

Rarity walked up to the door, pausing to look back one final time before exiting the barn.

When they were finally alone, Dash turned to face Pinkie Pie. She was smiling her usual goofy grin, almost as if nothing had ever happened, but there was something missing. The constant excited melody of the hyper pony’s voice was gone. For the first time since Dash had known her, Pinkie was remaining quiet.

As soon as she opened her mouth, the overflow of words that had been building up in Dash’s head began to spill out. “I’m so sorry Pinkie. I didn’t mean to say any of that stuff. You’re not disgusting, you’re amazing, and I love you. You know me, I never think, and I say the dumb—“ Dash’s voice began to falter but she forced herself to go on, “dumbest things, I’m so sorr—“

Suddenly, Pinkie stuck a hoof in her mouth. Dash blinked furiously, fighting back the urge to cry. The situation was uncool enough already.

Pinkie beamed her a smile that could have fragmented a brick wall. ”Dashie, there’s no reason to cry when No-Cry Pinkie Pie is around,” she said softly. “Sometimes you act silly and say silly things, but I can handle silliness better than anypony. So I forgive you.”

A wave of relief crashed over Rainbow Dash’s chest. “Thank you,” she said, bending her head down and nuzzling her marefriend’s neck affectionately, causing her to giggle.

“Sometimes, I act silly too you know,” Pinkie admitted. “Like last night, you asked me not to say anything, and I shouldn’t have. From now on, nopony else will know.”

Dash drew back to look her in the face. “No, that’s fine. It’s better now that our friends know. We should have told them way sooner.” She leaned forward until their snouts were nearly touching. ”Actually, I want everypony to know I have the coolest, funnest, most awesome marefriend in the whole world.” Dash tipped her head forward, pressing their muzzles and lips together.

Pinkie’s mouth flew open in a dramatic gasp that sent the unsuspecting pegasus tumbling backwards. “Oh! We have to tell everypony then!” she cried excitedly. “I’ve been waiting soooo long for this!”

“Yeah…” Dash replied, an idea forming in her head.

Her mind drifted back to a sappy romance novel Rarity had lent her recently. During the climax, after the two lovers had declared their feelings for each other, they soared across the rooftops of Canterlot, proclaiming their love to the ponies in the streets below. “Let’s do it right now!” she shouted, grabbing Pinkie up in her forelegs and shooting out the door as quickly as her wings would take her.

__________________________________________________

Ah-ah-ah-AH CHOO! Dash had been sneezing since she’d left Sweet Apple Acres. While she couldn’t be certain, she suspected it had something to with the bushy pink tail in her face that had been tickling her nose the whole way.

“Pinkie, why are you upside down?” she asked the pony dangling in her hooves. Indeed, Pinkie was upside down. Her forelegs and bouncy mane were waving wildly in the wind beneath the pegasus, while her legs and tail wiggled in the air above her head.

“Why aren’t you upside down?” Pinkie asked, pointing a hoof up at her courier.

Dash carefully considered the question. Now that she thought about it, there was no particularly good reason for her to be right side up. “Fair enough.”

She looked back to the barn and Sweet Apple Acres. Rarity and Applejack were still standing outside, though they looked much smaller now. Dash noticed that they appeared to be standing unusually close to each other.

Are they… hugging?

“Wheeee!” Pinkie yelled, rocking back and forth and causing Dash to sway dangerously.

“Pinkie!” Dash shouted, “Don’t swing like that, I’m gonna drop you!”

Rainbow Dash grunted from exertion, her wings were struggling to keep the two ponies in the air. Surprising considering she’d once carried four ponies at once. “Jeez, you need to lay off the cupcakes for a while, Pinks. You’re almost too heavy for me to carry.”

Pinkie let out an insulted gasp. “You take that back!”

“Only if you promise to go on a diet,” Dash said with a smirk. “Could you climb up onto my back? It’d be a lot easier to fly with you that way.”

“Okie dokie!” Pinkie reached her forelegs up, gripping onto her marefriend’s shoulders and scrabbling over her head. Pinkie then laid herself out on the Dash’s back with a contented sigh, her head resting near Dash’s cutie mark.

Dash peered up at the tail now resting on her head. “That isn’t what I meant,” she muttered under her breath.

She felt a sudden tug on her own tail. “Hey, don’t mess with my tail!”

“Sorry,” Pinkie replied, spitting the prismatic tail out of her mouth. “It’s sooo colorful, I couldn’t resist.”

Dash continued to fly without interruption until a question popped into her head. “Hey Pinks,” she called back. “What were you doing in that barn all day?”

“I was waiting for the cows,” Pinkie answered. “I thought they would cheer me up. I love those sounds they make."

"Moooo!” Pinkie’s cow impersonation was surprisingly accurate. Dash couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with her recent increase in size.

“Well, you’d fit right in— OW!” she cried out, feeling a stinging pain on her hind quarters. “Did you just bite me?!”

“Mm hmm,” Pinkie chirped. “Your flank tastes a lot different than your tail. The tail was really bland, but this was salty!”

Rainbow Dash scanned the ground for a suitable spot to land. As incredible as her physical endurance could be, even she had her limits. Fortunately, she was nearing one of Ponyville’s many parks. Angling herself down, she began her descent.

Unfortunately, she hadn’t properly taken into account the extra weight added by Pinkie (and the tail in her face hadn’t helped either), resulting in a not-so-spectacular crash. However, she’d managed to keep the number of smashed park benches down to two, which counted as a success in Dash’s book.

Popping briskly out of the wreckage, Rainbow Dash inspected her surroundings. A small crowd of passersby had already gathered, attracted by the fizzled landing, but it wasn’t nearly large enough to suit her purposes. An event as big as this one needed an appropriate audience to match. Dash excitedly flew laps around the park, waving her hooves in the air and shouting to nearby ponies, “Everypony gather round, I have an extremely important announcement to make!”

After she had the attention of a sizable assembly of park-goers, Dash took her place beside Pinkie Pie on the wrecked bench. “This is Pinkie Pie,” she called out to the gathered ponies in the most impressive voice she could muster, “and she is the most amazing, coolest, awesomest pony I’ve ever met.”

She turned to look Pinkie in the eyes, ignoring the crowd’s confused stares. “And I love her!” she announced, turning back to the onlookers. “And I’m proud of that.”

Then silence. For several moments, not a word was spoken among the gathering of ponies. Even Pinkie was being uncharacteristically quiet. Soon, a low murmuring began to develop. Dash had rushed through Rarity’s novel (she was almost as fast a reader as she was flyer) so her memory was somewhat vague on its ending, but it definitely hadn’t been like this. From what she could remember, there had been cheering and congratulations all around.

“Are you kidding me?” a dark coated pegasus near the front she recognized as Thunderlane cried. “That was your ‘extremely important announcement’?” A general rumble of discontent was moving through the crowd.

“What, did you think we were going to clap for you or something?” Thunderlane continued angrily.

“Well…” Dash’s voice died in her throat. Actually, that was exactly what she thought was going to happen.

“I thought there some big emergency going on!” he shouted, pointing a hoof towards her. “You had me really worried.”

Dash felt a wave of anger swell in her stomach. She’d bared her soul in front of a mass of ponies. The least they could have given her was a courtesy cheer and a little ‘Nice work Rainbow Dash, you’re such a radically wicked pony, can I get your autograph?’ But no, instead all she got was criticism.

“Oh, buzz off Thunderlane! This could have been a big special moment, but now you’ve ruined it.” He looked away embarrassingly.

“You can all go now, thanks for nothing,” she yelled to the crowd, bucking a piece of broken wood lying by her hoof.

Rarity and her stupid novels...

With the spectacle over, the crowd began to disperse, leaving Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie alone with the broken benches. “Well, I thought it was sweet,” Pinkie said warmly, speaking for the first time since they had crashed. “You know,” she said, putting a hoof to her chin, “if you and a cupcake were trapped in a giant toaster, and I had a giant pair of tongs and I could only save one of you, I’d probably pick you. I’m like ninety-nine point nine percent certain. Well actually…”

Dash felt a tapping at her shoulder and turned around to see that one of the other pegasi from the weather team, Blossomforth, had returned. “Ugh,” she groaned. “What do you want?”

Blossomforth smiled sheepishly. “Hey, I’m sorry about that, Thunderlane can be a bit of an idiot sometimes. I wanted to congratulate you,” she said, holding out a hoof.

Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up. Apparently the show hadn’t been a complete bust after all. “Thanks,” she replied, shaking her hoof.

“Yeah,“ Blossomforth continued, a smirk appearing on her face, “you finally came out of the closet, good for you!”

“Yeah, yeah…” Dash responded with a scowl, her ears drooping as the cheeky pegasus flew away. Was there anypony who didn’t already know? Turning back to Pinkie, she found that her marefriend was still debating whether to save her or a cupcake from the imaginary death toaster.

“…there's a lot of variables. Like, since it’s a giant toaster, is it a giant cupcake? Is it a giant Rainbow Dash?!” Her blue eyes opened wide at the newly discovered possibilities.

Dash thought about the sappy novel’s ending again. After their roof top announcement, the two lovers had shared a passionate kiss, concluding the story. Dash leaned forward to press her muzzle against Pinkie’s. Even if there announcement hadn’t gone as planned, at least she could end it right. To her surprise, the chatty pony didn’t seem to notice her advance and was still rambling away.

“…I think I might actually like to try a toasted cupcake sometime, but not so much a toasted Rain—“

“Pinkie!” Dash interrupted. “Could you shut up? I’m kind of trying to kiss you here.”

“Oh, that’s what you were doing,” Pinkie said with a giggle. She puckered her lips as far out as possible, in what Dash could only assume was her best imitation of a goldfish. “I’m ready!”

Dash facehoofed with a groan. “Never mind, let’s go get something to eat.”

Rarity and her stupid novels...

__________________________________________________

Spike watched his two friends trot out of the park together, side by side. “Man, that was really cheesy and cliché, huh Twilight?” he asked, looking up at her.

“Yeah,” she answered with a sigh. “It sure was cute though.”

Comments ( 56 )

1120928
Yup, no matter how poorly I might do anything I else, I can always take comfort in the fact that I'm a good speller.:raritywink:

This was a very nice story! Nothing groundbreaking, but I liked it very much. Which is kinda strange, since I don't usually like "coming out" stories in the world of ponies (my personal headcanon is that sexual orientation can not be an issue in a society as inherently tolerant as Equestria).
If this was your first fanfic, as your profile seems to indicate, I really think you should write more - you've got talent!:pinkiehappy:

1129006
This is my first, glad you enjoyed it. Onwards and upwards! :pinkiehappy:

Well this was fun. The part that stood out the most was "I’m on a Boat but I Don’t Want to be on a Boat". :pinkiecrazy:

I agree with 1129006 that the coming out genre kinda doesn't jive with how I see Equestria at anyrate. Still, it had some very cute moments. Some of the dialogue seemed slightly off. The one that sticks in my head is Pinkie saying "obviously" instead of "well duh" or so.
>“Obviously, you sleep over like every night,” Pinkie responded, rolling her eyes.
But that's minor.

Look forward to seeing more of your stuff.

Eeyup, this was a good one! My favorite part was probably how protective Mr. Cake got and how he almost called Pinkie his daughter. That was really sweet. Seeing one-sided RariDash throughout the story was also interesting. I really do agree with Kits and Arrrg about the whole homosexuality thing, but that's a really personal issue and does nothing to detract from the quality of the story.

Anyway, you truly did a great job! Hope you'll write more RainbowPie in the future!

1140425
The fact that you took the time to read this story and then actually leave a comment, sort of made my entire week. You're such a great writer!

Fanboy outburst aside, yeah, it's always those little details that seem to get me.

1141912
And to think I was that close to taking that whole bit with Mr. Cake out at the last second, very glad I decided to leave it in. I love the RainbowPie ship, so if I was ever to actually write another fic, it would probably be more Rainbow Pie.

1141912
I'm torn. I really like RariDash as a concept. In fact, I have two ideas. One is List-like in that it's pure interaction based on show stuff that doesn't require anything new be created. One is almost Games We Play like. I'm torn because I have List's sequel infodump at 2 pages. I wish I could write all the fics :|

1143924
More Rainbow Pie! DO IT!
DOOOOOO IT!

Best ship need more shipping.

1144298 Hmm.. That actually sounds rather interesting. And a story which is (almost) like The Games We Play certainly sounds intriguing.

And yes, Kits, I also wish you could write all the fics ;)

1143924 I'd certainly love to see more from you! And as Kits said, the greatest ship in history requires more stories :pinkiehappy:

Coming out story doesn't make much sense in Equestria, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, I thought you did a really good job on this, aside from the coming out thing you were able to avoid most of the tropes that have started bugging me with mlp shipping, plus you wrote all the characters quite well. Keep on writing.

1174604

A few people have mentioned the whole 'coming out shouldn't be a problem in Equestria.' I'd like to mention that the only pony who seems to have any problem with Dash's sexuality in this fic is Dash herself. And she can hardly be considered a reliable narrator.

Anyway, thanks for commenting, glad you enjoyed it.

1177244
True but she still learned it somewhere, ultimately its easy for us to imagine it happening since there is still a stigma against it currently in the real world but there were societies and times where it was just as accepted as hetero sexuality. My take on it is that ultimately the reason we have the stigma is because of the big three religions and the fact that a persons first experience with anything related to homosexuality will probably be some moron yelling about it being immoral or a sin. I can't really see Celestia having anything against it, but then again it does make for a compelling story even if I don't see it making much sense, when its written well and you did a good job with it.
In short have a happy Pinkie. :pinkiehappy:

Juts finished the whole thing now in one sitting, here's a few thoughts I had bouncing around.

Nothing too original about the theme; it's a cute romance comedy ship between Pinkie and RD, but as far as comedy romances go this was a fun read. I liked that you managed to work in the entire cast as well, and their personalities became a great foil for the two stars. Especially Twilight, who's repeated blunt indiscretions is really the catalyst for the entire thing. Everyone was really in great form - and for some reason the image of Rarity attempting to impart romance advice to Pinkie while they waited in the barn was too cute.

If I would have liked to have seen anything done differently, I would have seen Pinkie make Rainbow work for her forgiveness near the end. Pinkie is head-over-heels for RD and she has a thin skin for rejection - having RD insult and embarrass her at a party that she was throwing just for her should have cut really deep.

That being said, I can still enjoy a light-hearted romance without too much drama, and this story accomplished that admirably. A good read and a thumbs-up over all.

1217457

Pinkie being angry with Dash is something I never really considered. She's always so bouncy and cheerful, even after watching Party of One and The Last Roundup, I still have a very hard time imagining her being upset with one of her friends.

Oh well, glad you enjoyed it.

Now then... what's going to happen to Rarity?

I'm on a Boat, and I Don't Want to be on a Boat, now in paperback!

1248679

I think Rarity has found a good apple, if you know what I mean

1249054

Possibly! What I wanna know is... how will that work out?

Very nice, well written and a fun read. I especially liked Mr. Cake's part, gave me flashbacks to Mr. and Mrs. Cake's relationship with Pinkie in A Sweet Taste of Cake.

Have a thumb and a watch.

1249124
I actually was considering writing a RariJack semi sequel. Maybe I still will someday.

1248683
You're silly.

1249982
Why, thank you! :twilightsmile:

And oh my gosh, this reached a thousand views. :pinkiegasp: I don't even know how to react.

1250580

Twilight: Oh hi Tootsie!
Tootsie Flute: Heya Twilight, whatcha doing?
Twilight: Great, actually. How is your mom!
Tootsie Flute: Well, mom is kind of angry with mommy, and mommy thinks that "There is nothing wrong with liking humans!"
Twilight: :twilightsmile: Ok. *beat* :twilightoops: What?.... Ah well, its not important.

*Long Review Warning*

Chapter 1:

I'm admittedly not an avid fanfic reader yet, and this is only the third shipping fic or so I've read. So I know that there's a ton of shipping fics, so I can't judge for originality, but as far as I can tell, this story does a promising job so far.

Good mature writing style, good varied sentence structure, and good vocab too. Good job setting the scene with Rainbow coming in for gift wrap, it builds up subtle tension very well and revealing her underlying hopes. I really enjoyed Fluttershy's consolatory dialogue, gives a real sense of her gentle empathy. The story also sets up nice mysteries for future chapters.

No major critiques. Twilight is a bit overly boorish for the sake of the story's advancement, but that's to be expected I guess. Only thing that stuck out to me -the book names at the start were too meta. "I'm on a boat but don't to be."

Good stuff! I write long reviews because I enjoy reading the stories.

I liked it. The grammar, the flow, the characterization, all pretty good. Thanks for the nice read! :twilightsmile: I look forward to reading more from you. :yay:

I liked the story overall but felt that the first two chapters were better. Yay implied Rarijack. The section at the end was good "stupid novels". Fourth unconnected sentence in a row.

Hey! Congratulations on the EqD listing. I doubt my contribution was the tipping point, but :twilightsheepish:

Might have to take another peek at the revised version.

1251855
I'm very glad you enjoyed it!

1253374
If you'll allow me to self indulge, I thought the second part was miles ahead of the rest, and easily the part I enjoyed writing the most. A savory meat slapped between some stale bread and cheesy cheddar.

1253689
Now that I think about it, I really should have given you some formal credit somewhere. Your comments dramatically improved the fic. Sorry about that. :fluttershysad:

I never thought in a million years this was good enough to get past the EqD pre readers. I may or may not have jumped out of my chair and started dancing when I got the confirmation email. :rainbowwild:

1254192
We are all entitled to our own opinions (but you as the author are more entitled than the rest)
I feel bad that I didn't like it more, it seems like you poured your heart and soul into this story.

Very good story Equ-us. Please Create more of these... :D

Very good story Equ-us. Please Create more of these... :D

1254489
I don't know about heart and soul, but I did spend an absolutely ridiculous amount of time working on it. About four months or so (I'm very slow).

1254729
Thank you! :twilightsmile: I'd love to write another someday.

This.
This was an asskickingly good story.
5/5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Okay, I absolutely loved this fic. Severly sleep deprived I allowed myself only one chapter before turning in, but in the end I couldn't put it away until I read it through. I kind of wish I hadn't already read it, because I want to read this over again. I loved the theme, and I loved Rainbow's characterization. An upvote, a favourite, and a "please write more!" :heart:

1257483
:yay:

1257624
Thank you, I read several fics just for the sake of research while writing this as well. I hope reading this helps somehow.

1258499
Thank you so much!

1266558
:pinkiegasp:
But Pinkie Dash is the pairing!
I kid, different strokes for different people.

AWESOME! I'm a HUUUUUUGE Pinkbow fan so I just HAD to add this to my faves.

:pinkiehappy: Pinkbow Forever :rainbowkiss:

1268326
I knew I'd read it somewhere before. And it came from one of my favorite fics too.
I sure hope that doesn't count as plagiarism...

1269979
:pinkiesmile::heart::rainbowwild:

Cute fic, was gonna give a thumb up but then I got to the part with Carrot Cake and well,....have a thumb up and a fave!
Him almost calling Pinkie his daughter pulled all the d'awwww strings in my heart.

Oh and the boat joke in the first chapter was hillarious as well.

1273029
:twilightsmile:

1273909
I'm really surprised that Mr. Cake was the tipping point, it was such a small little bit, but I'm grateful all the same.

D'awww that was really cute. :heart:

1306861
A couple people have referred to this as a romantic comedy, which confuses me because it was never my intention for this to be any sort of comedy. But I suppose that's inevitable any time Pinkie Pie is involved. Thanks for the comment (please forgive my ridiculously late reply). :twilightsmile:

1430104
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are adorable together, aren't they?

1430601
My all time favorite ship, except for the canon ones. :pinkiehappy:

Very well written, great job! :twilightsmile:

1451723
Thank you.

1453290
I actually had to re-read that part to figure out what that quote was talking about. I have a terrible memory... >.>
Glad you enjoyed it though.

1791733
Nope, no clop.

1790585
That was such a pointless addition to the story, but yeah, it's pretty darn sweet.

Well, I just finished this thing so here's to reducing my read later list! :pinkiehappy:

Kidding, this really was a great story and PinkieDash is the ship. It was a little lacking in the conflict department though. That said, it is still a very good story.

Silver out!

I can't believe it you nade this crap:ajbemused:


JK honesty my favorite so far. Sorry for beginning :derpytongue2:

EEEK PInkiexRainbow is my FAVORITE ship!! :pinkiehappy::heart::rainbowkiss:

Rarity liked Pinkie Pie! Applejack is either comforting her or she liked Rainbow Dash and now their upset that their dreams were crushed! I`m so happy that I caught that! Sequel where they find out please!

3053789
it is rainbow she likes there was hints of it trough the entire story.
(i wont bother listing them find them yourself) :trollestia:

SHL

Good one, HoofBiting :pinkiehappy: I liked a lot: is fun, romantic. It has everything.

This fic was adorable. Not the best PinkieDash ship ever, but it still had plenty of D'awww worthy moments so like ... top 3. A part of me hopes that it gets a spin-off / side fic where we see Twilight ship with some pony / learn of her love of mares, and some RariJack. All in all it was a cute fic and was a rather nice bit of light reading.

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