Did you see him repressing me?
Twilight and the Elements of Harmony continued their trot through the Everfree Forest, searching for the fabled Tree of Harmony.
"So where are we supposed to find this tree?" Applejack asked.
"I don't know," Princess Twilight said with some frustration.
"Maybe we could find it faster if I flew over the forest," Rainbow Dash offered, her voice, open wings, and stance demonstrating she was eager for adventure.
"Dash, if you fly up you could scalded by one of those rogue storm clouds," Rarity warned. Dash looked up and saw one of those clouds hanging over head. With an annoyed sigh, the blue pony closed her wings.
"Twilight, maybe you have some kind of spell that can lead us to it?" Applejack asked Twilight. Just as Twilight was about to respond, Pinkie Pie pointed one of her hooves in another direction.
"Twilight, Twilight," Pinkie Pie said excitedly. "Look, look, look!"
"What is it Pinkie Pie?" Twilight said in a disinterested tone, pulling out a spell book in the hopes of finding a spell that could lead them to their destination.
"Look, a village full of ponies," Pinkie Pie said happily.
"Yeah, yeah, sure Pinkie," Twilight said in disbelief.
"Twilight," Applejack said. "I see the village too."
"What?" Twilight said, closing the book in disbelief. She saw beyond some trees was a cleared field, with ponies wandering around it, picking stuff off the ground. At the center was an old stone castle on some hill.
"I didn't know there was a village in the middle of Everfree Forest," Rarity said.
"I've been in the Everfree many, many times, and I ain't never seen this village before," Applejack said with confusion.
"None of my maps showed any kind of...village like this," Twilight said with confusion.
"Who cares," Rainbow Dash said with a shrug. "What matters is that these ponies might know where the tree is."
"Rainbow Dash is right," Twilight said. "Let's see what these ponies have to say."
The Bearers trotted up to the village, cautiously optimistic for the answers they sought. But as they got closer, they realized the creatures before them were not ponies.
"Twilight, what are those....things?" Rainbow Dash asked with concern.
"I don't know," Princess Twilight said. The Princess of Friendship looked to her yellow friend for guidance.
"I've never heard of these creatures before," Fluttershy said with a small shrug.
The creatures were bipedal ape-like creatures who shared the same ruddy skin on their faces. They all had triangular noses, no muzzles, pink lips, and were covered head to hoof in filthy, soil-stained rags that were worn in medieval times.
"Have these creatures never been to a boutique," Rarity said with mild disgust. "These rags look just awful...are they doing what I think they are doing?"
The ape-like creatures were picking up dirt and feces and collecting them into piles. Rarity and the others wretched in disgust at these creatures.
"Oh sweet Celestia, they are positively grotesque," Rarity in a horrified tone.
"Hey, how dare you," Pinkie Pie said in an insulted tone. "I worked on a rock farm. These...monkey things are no different."
"You harvested rocks, Pinkie Pie," Rarity threw back.
"Mud is kind of...gooey rock," Pinkie Pie said uneasily.
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't."
"Yes it is."
"Isn't."
"Is!"
"ISN'T!"
"Guys," Twilight Sparkle said with some disgust, ending the argument between the fashion lover and party pony. "Look, we need directions. If these creatures live here, they might be able to tell us. Or whoever lives in that castle. I'll go talk to them. I am a princess after all."
"Good luck," Applejack said. Twilight Sparkle trotted into the village and approached one of the ape things that was pulling a wagon. The creature, based off its posture and exhaustion, looked old.
"Excuse me...ma'am?"
"Sir," the creature said was tugging some cart.
"Sorry, from behind you looked like-".
"Dennis," the creature barked.
"What?"
"My name is Dennis," the man said, putting down his cart, "titles are an outdated construct that promote division of classes."
"I'm sorry," Twilight said in confusion. Dennis turned around, only to look at her with shock.
"What are you supposed to be?!" The creature said with sheer annoyance.
"Uh...a pony," Twilight said with confusion.
"Right sure," Dennis said with disbelief, his face twisted into utter disgust, "you're a hoax!"
"A what?"
"A sham, a simulation, a farcical pretension," the ape-like being complained, "you're probably some animatronic designed to promote a cryptozoological hoax."
"You've lived here all your life and you've never seen a pony?" Twilight asked incredulously.
"You're probably some git hiding in the bushes with a remote control," Dennis continued.
"I'm not a robot!" Twilight said with some frustration. She started levitating in the air with her wings. "See, I'm clearly flying in the air. There are no wires-,"
"Oh please," the man said disdainfully, "that wing span could not possibly support a being that size."
"What?"
"The wings are clearly too small to support your body size," the creature said.
"No they aren't," Twilight protested.
"Yes they are," the creature argued.
"They are."
"Aren't."
"Are."
"Magic grants me the ability to hover," Twilight protested.
"That's not an explanation," Dennis said with annoyance, "that's just a copout."
"No it isn't," Twilight protested.
"Yes it is," the peasant-creature said.
"No it isn't," Twilight said.
"Saying 'something happens because of magic," the creature replied furiously, "promotes outdated dogma and retards the advancement of society."
"No it doesn't," Twilight said.
"Yes it does."
"No it doesn't," Twilight said, "magic is a real phenomena-,"
"Um Twilight," Rainbow interrupted, "I hate to interrupt, but we have to find that tree."
"But I was really getting into this," Twilight claimed, "and-,"
"Oh look," the creature said disdainfully while eying Rainbow Dash, "another one of your animatronics."
"Look," Rainbow said while facehoofing, "can we just get the directions to the Tree of Harmony."
"Tree of what?"
"The Tree of Harmony," Twilight said.
"What's the Tree of Harmony," Dennis asked her.
"The Tree of Harmony is a tree that is the source of magic protecting Equestria against evil," Twilight said. Rainbow groaned as Twilight began her lecture mode again. "From it all magic, hope, and goodness arise. It is where Harmony and the Magic of Friendship arise."
"Listen," Dennis said. "Strange plants producing magical laser beams is no basis for the structure of society."
"What are you going on about now?" Rainbow Dash groaned.
"You can't claim that some trumped up turnip can defend against evil, which is often a social construct determined by the ruling class."
"Shut up and give us directions," Rainbow Dash said.
"I mean if told everyone some fancy shrub could somehow defend society, I'd be laughed out of town," Dennis argued.
"Shut up!" Rainbow Dash said, lightly punching the ape-thing with her hooves.
"Now we see the violence inherent in the system," Dennis said, even as Rainbow laid blows on her.
"BE QUIET!"
"Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!" Dennis argued to his nearby ape creatures."
"Idiot!" Rainbow groaned before flying back to her friends.
Realizing she wasn't going to get any answers out of the ape creature, Twilight let out a sigh and turned back to her friends. Before Twilight could trot away, she heard the sound of sirens on the horizon. She and the other peasants turned around and saw a bunch of weird pony-less carriages that seemed to drive themselves approaching
"What is going on now?" Twilight asked with annoyance as the carriages stopped in front of them. The carriages had "police" written on them. Out stepped more of the monkey creatures. They were far better dressed and groomed than the peasants. Their uniforms and badges implied that they were in some kind of law enforcement. One man with a peaked hat stepped forward.
"You are all under arrest," the officer said in a loud voice.
"For what?" Twilight asked with disbelief.
"This crossover fanfiction is a violation of copyright laws as signed under the Berne Convention of 1886," the officer said robotically to the pony princess. More and more police officers stepped out and began arresting the peasants and dragging them to the vehicles. "This was written without permission of either Hasbro or Monty Python and is thus a fragrant infringement-,"
"Wait a second you pompous little bobby," the ape-thing said in a rage, walking up to the officer. "This isn't copyright infringement. This fanfiction is protected under fair use."
"No it isn't," the officer protested.
"Yes it is."
"No it isn't."
"It is."
"Isn't."
"It is."
"It isn't."
"Yes it is," Dennis argued. "This is a parody fanfiction of a well-known pop-cultural moment, not a commercial reproduction of an existing, copyrighted work. Parody is covered under fair use."
"No it isn't," the officer.
"Yes it is," Dennis said.
With a tired sigh, Twilight used the bizarre argument between Dennis and the officer to sneak away and back to her friends.
"Did you get directions," Pinkie Pie asked Twilight as she returned.
"On second thought guys lets not look in the Everfree Forest, it is a silly place," Twilight said tiredly to her friends.
"After the legendary 2 hour argument, the police decided to arrest Redandready45, imprisoning him in the Tower of London for his blatant violation of copyright law," A Famous Historian said as he stood in a field, "Redandready45 was never seen again...until he was seen two weeks later juggling herrings at a fish and chip shop in Newcastle."
"Meanwhile, the Bearers continued their journey, and faced with danger," the Historian continued, "were forced with a heartwrenching choice of leaving the Princess behind to protect Equestria or journeying together as friends-,"
A Famous Historian was blown to smithereens, leaving behind nothing but his shoes.
"This demonstrates the value of not being seen," the narrator said.
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As a huge fan of Monty Python, you have won my utmost respect
I don't think Twilight would be annoyed at Dennis explaining his form of government. Also I doubt she would call anyone a peasant.
*Did you hear that, did you hear that, eh?
Great fic!
Nicely done, and even with credits
Thank goodness they didn't run into Angel. That rabbit's dynamite.
10121803
This story wouldn't work if the characters acted canonically.
Well, that happened. And I liked it!
Wow.
Brilliant!
Later:
Discord: "Stop!"
Mane 6 halt in front of the bridge home.
Twilight: "Discord, what are you up to?"
Discord: "Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, 'Ere the other side he see!"
Twilight: "...Really?"
Discord: "Yes, really. C'mon, play along!"
Twilight: *Sighs* "Ask me, bridgekeeper, I am not afraid."
Discord: "What... is your name?"
Twilight: [Deadpan] "Twilight Sparkle."
Discord: "What... is your quest?"
Twilight: "I seek a bath and some cookies after dealing with idiots all day."
Dash: "Hey!"
Twilight: "Not you girls, the things in the clearing."
Discord: "What... is the flight velocity of an unladen swallow?"
Twilight: "What do you mean? African or European swallow?"
Discord: *Blinks* "I don't know that." *Is suddenly yanked up and cast into the gorge of eternal annoyance* "Aaaaaahhh!"
Mane 6 stands there in disbelief. Applejack turns to regard Twilight. "How do ya know so much 'bout swallows?"
Twilight: "Well you have to know these things when you're a princess, you know? Now, let's go home."
10121829
It’s fairly accurate I must say...
On the other hand, you using the word dynamite has given me an idea...
Well, in classic Monty python fashion that was rather... uncomfortable, good show thumbs up!
Rather fortunate that they didn't encounter the black knight or the night's who say niif!
*sips coffee* Neat.
No it isn't.
10121875
I think this story would've worked better if they had instead. I was able to skip most of it when I realized they were just reading the Holy Grail script.
10121875
That sounds like a really compelling reason for this to not have been written, or to have been written completely differently?
10122113
I'm sorry but I think you want Arguments. Down the hall, first door on the right.
(From a window in Canterlot Castle, Twilight and Princess Celestia feast upon a panoramic view of Equestria)
Celestia: One day, Princess Twilight, all this will be yours.
Twilight: The curtains?
Princess Celestia: No... Canterlot was built up from nothing. When we started, all we had was a mountain. Other ponies said we were foolish to build this city into the side of a mountain, but we built it all the same, just to show them. It fell down the mountain, so we built a second one. THAT fell down the mountain. We built a third one. Nightmare Moon burned it down, it collapsed, and THEN fell down the mountain. But the fourth one stayed up! And that's what you're going to get, my dearest student, the strongest city on these lands!
> sentient bipedal creatures
sapient ;)
That was brilliant.
Now just wait until Twilight and her friends meet the French... or if Rainbow finds herself in that one castle where Gawain ended up in
To many Aardvarks...
Now if only someone would do a fic involving the witch scene.
You can just hear that obnoxious voice.
Wow this is a lively and funny comment section.
I enjoyed the surprise argument sketch and police and opening credits and art of not being seen.
Now if only there was a way to write the best sketches 'Dennis Moore' ,and 'Spanish Inquisition' with mlp characters intermixed!
...
...
But alas who would write it?
10122113
Yes it is.
10122682
Well...
A lot of Monty Python fics just copy and paste the scenes and throw in colorful ponies.
I felt merging those scenes was not only original, but the kind of hilarious chaos that is typical of Monty Python.
10122685
No this is too silly. I'm ending this sketch!
:)
Since many commenters want to see the Mane 6 in character in a MP, I would love to see Fluttershy in the Dead Parrot sketch.
For a while there I was expecting Twilight to turn him into a newt (he'd get better....)
Poor Mr Nesbitt
I was just on YouTube and saw an old comment I made years ago referencing the violence inherent in the system. Then, I clicked on over to FiMFiction to see this on the front page. It always feels weird when this sort of thing happens.
And, of course, while reading, I heard the voices as being those of the abridged series I was watching instead of the ponies' actual voices. If it's going to be silly, why not go all the way?
10122597
You mean the one on the bridge? I’ve seen one where the mane six try cross it
10122861
As the customer or the shop keeper?
I think the credits need more llamas. (On a side note are there any llamas in mlp cannon? Or even in any fanfiction?)
10123523
I was initially thinking shopkeeper, but upon further review, she could be the customer, and Discord the shopkeeper.
You never saw him on tv because Hasbro and DHX would never mix religion with children's entertainment, but I'm sure Equestria has a Dalai Wally Llama....or am I thinking of another show???
There was much Rejoicing
10123271
No I meant the one where Sir Bedevere helped determine whether a woman was a witch by seeing it she weighed the same as a duck.
10122861 The punchline is it's Philomena... holy crap, that would actually work!
Not a bad parody.
10121795
Thank you.
10122069
Or the French knights who...taunt others.
10122250
Twilight: But I don't want any of that. I'd rather--
Celestia: Rather what?!
Twilight: I'd rather...just... sing!
Celestia: Stop that! Stop that! You're not going into a song while I'm here.
10122329
I think I picture Fluttershy ending up there, supposedly being chaste, and about to give in to temptation until being "rescued" at the last moment.
10122682
Well...if someone wrote the Spanish Inquisition, you wouldn't be able to...
E X P E C T I T.
10124654
Yes it is!
Alright! Enough of this! It's silly!
It started out as a nice story about pony princesses attacking early-middle aged peasants, but now it's just gotten silly!
10124925
Twilight: But mother...
Princess Celestia: Princess...
Twilight: But Princess Celestia, I don't want Canterlot.
Princess Celestia: Listen, my dearest student, Twirlie...
Twilight: Twilight.
Princess Celestia: Twilight. We live in a prestigious city. Equestria needs its fair and just ruler.
Twilight: But I don't like being a ruler.
Princess Celestia: Don't like being a ruler? Whatever's wrong with that? You're beautiful. You'll be rich. You have two huge... wings to fly!
10122685
Are we having an argument?
10122206
But that isn't an argument.
10125108
I've told you once.
10125113
It's just contradiction.
10124925
Thier chief weapon was er...
what again?
And there is no profit, nor does it usurp the market for either piece of source material.
10127349
That certainly hasn't stopped cease and desist orders, has it?
10128704
Improper use of the DMCA is a crime, so counter-suits should be flying like fur.
10128731
I honestly think the whole copyright system is a form of corporate welfare. Not designed to encourage art, but to protect the profits of already wealthy corporations.
10128741
Yea, by keeping stuff in copyright for basically forever they can keep rehashing the same stuff over and over again and not have to make anything new.