the dobermans
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So, you say it's both a prequel and a sequel. Just to be sure, this takes place before the other story, right?
10018451
Chapters 1 and 2 will be the prequel: 3 will be the sequel.
I can sense this somehow leads into how messed up Cozy is. Just what twisted her parents so?
10018454
Okay. Though, in a way, Cozy having been abused is a logical explanation for her actions.
10018455
10018456
Stay tuned!!
10018461
Sure thing
10018461
I'll be tracking.
I absolutely want to see so much more of this. It's a great start.
10018596
Thanks for the support! I hope it doesn't disappoint ...
10018597
I'm sure it won't. Keep up the great work!
So... How does this story fit in with the events of Season 9?
10018627
This will be covered in Chapter 3.
Are we talking "a few swats on the bottom" or "savage beating?"
10018661
If you're uncomfortable with much more than the former, I'd say you might want to pass.
I love to see Cozy Glow visit her parents when she a alicorn and return the favor she suffered by her Father's standards.
She's playing him so well. She's the real snickerdoodle.
10024927
Right on! It's all part of the game ...
WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK
This isn't corporal punishment, this is barely not beating your child to death.
At first I doubted the 'mature' tag on what I was sure might pass as teen... But oh my fucking gods this is absolutely terrifying... I'm getting some "Time's Arrow" (the Bojack Horseman episode, if you weren't aware) vibes from this twisted little story. It's by far horribly realistic, detailed, and one of the creepiest, most well-written pieces I've stumbled across on the site. Please keep up the good work.
10025430
Sorry if it caused any discomfort, but thanks so much for the kind words! It's super satisfying that you got it.
The final chapter will be optional. Hopefully it doesn't go too overboard. Maybe I should understate it ...
Thanks for watching too!
10025434
Only three chapters? Will this at least be a trilogy? I really like your Cozy Glow pieces and hope to see more stronger pieces like them in the future. Good dark examinations are hard to find.
A bit akward but you wrote it well.
10025440
Hmm, a trilogy. I'll have to think about that. The problem is that I'm an extremely slow writer. If I were to do another one, it would come out 6-8 months from now. Not sure if people would remember it at that point.
The other issue is that chapter 3 won't leave much room for further action. I suppose I could do something that takes place in between, on the other hand ...
10026905
I certainly would, as I shelve everything I read. I wouldn't mind if it meant quality horsewords.
Wow... I'm not sure what to say, sir. I really enjoyed it and it was beautiful how Hickory's own demons began to come out. Makes you wonder how much of us is inspired, or beaten into us, by our parents.
I was torn at first about whether he was being a good father or not. No... no, probably not. It sort of bruised my night.
But, that's a good thing.
No you don't, Hickory! If you love her, you wouldn't be physically hurting her or making her drop her doll in a fire just because she lost a game. Regardless of whether or she was lying (which I doubt, since she obviously said she was in order to stop being), physical abuse is not the answer. I can tell that he was enjoying every bit of hurting her and decided to use the outcome of the game he and his daughter played as an excuse to torture her for fun. I believe that before he used the Ol' Hick, Cozy Glow was feeling pain, but just trying to act tough. Hickory deserves to be locked up for life.
I started having my reservations on Luna when she first carted Cozy into Tartarus at the end of s8, but you wrote her to be a genuenly evil monster here. If that was your goal then good job.
10096653
I too was perplexed at Luna's behavior regarding Cozy in the show, but that seems to be how she was written.
Well made
10096669
Thanks!
10096670
You're welcome!
10096659
Yea, I guess NMM might not be as gone as we initially believed.
10096675
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/9/95/Nightmare_Moon_opens_her_eyes_S4E01.png/revision/latest?cb=20131125194620
This... this chapter really makes me iffy about the story. I wanted to see the family narrative or something subversive to the blatantly dystopian and out of character moments that happened to beloved characters in the moments like these in season eight and nine.
Luna torturing a little filly in cold blood isn’t a final chapter that sits well with me, no matter how good the prose and descriptions are. It’s still disappointing compared to what has been built up from this and the sequel. It also has really bad tyrant princess vibes.
10096682
Understandable. Sorry you were disappointed.
10096686
You still get an upvote and all, and I do want to see more stories from you.
You can’t please everyone, but you handle criticism well, and that’s important to have as a writer.
Jesus Christ
That is... a disappointing and quite horrifying conclusion given the past chapters.
You write beautifully, sir. I thought each chapter upped the tragedy a little more. The last quite a bit more than the second. It was an honor to see the story unfold and I thought the ending was logical and terrifying. We get to see the unending punishment for her crimes against the state and the underlying hatred of Luna displayed openly against those whose fates are left to rot. I know you are a fan of the Luna behind the reformed mask and this shows a side of her buried under the rule of Twilightarianism. I loved it.
10096742
Thanks for the kind words, bossman, and for your help. Greatly anticipating your next release
10096691
Your avatar image perfectly encapsulates my reaction to this story
10096758
Always willing to help, sir. It's an honor to do so. Enjoy the release of this chapter and completion of another story.
Well whatever was wrong with Cozy, he managed to hit on one sure way to make it wronger. Especially blows to the head - certainly no chance of leaving her deranged!
10096758
Cozy's problem has always been more how she worsens our heroes than her own deeds - and this sadly raises it to it's peak. I recall when we first discussed this last year, we agreed that it would take something like Cozy killing Celestia to drive Luna to this - did you change your mind, or just feel an AU tag would reduce your audience?
10097580
Thanks for taking the time to check it out. I'll PM you.
This is perhaps the worst way to deal with someone like Cozy. She's a sociopath, she quite emphatically does not care, and the fact he's doing it because he loves her (and he does in his misguided way) only
gives her ammo.
10025430
)
As I said, sociopath.This might have intimidated, or even guilted, most foals into compliance (and being a decidedly sub optimal solution with how its done. It either terrifies them or makes them callous and unfeeling, leaving them stunted either. Of course Twilight's parents hardly came up with a better solution
10164530
To be fair, savagely beating most children would force them into repression or other submissive states.
Cozy Glow gets punished for her actions, but her evil father doesn’t? What is wrong with the system?!
i registered this account approximately an hour ago, just to comment here. i had turned my brain off, i wasn’t expecting much at all. then, i felt that electric sensory feeling that i think is unique to persons who had grown surrounded by people who were driven to take advantage of innocence. it almost feels silly to say it here, though i can forgo that feeling momentarily. something hit me in the brain when my thoughts began to veer towards the dynamic of these two. it’s such a familiar dynamic of “i don’t want to make you angry, but i just can’t help myself.” and “i’ll take the punishment as if to not take it would be a detriment to myself and you.” all of these thoughts are punctuated but also permeated with fear and trust. i hope these assembled thoughts reach you somehow.
10214406
Well, I'm humbled that you found the story moving enough to join. Your take on their relationship is spot on. I hope it didn't cause too much discomfort.
10214420
thank you for your response. personally, any expression that acts as a catalyst for observation and the formation of thought is not discomforting.