• Member Since 18th Dec, 2017
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StarlightisVERYcute


Although Starlight is my favorite, I love all the ponies! You may also know me as "twilock writefag" or "Anonymous!!HcNWUh4HrCG".

E
Source

Grogar's ancient machinations finally come together as he leads the Legion of Doom against Canterlot. Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow want to rule for themselves, however, and intend to betray him as soon as it's convenient. Can Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash save Equestria from the villains?

Other significant characters: Spike, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst, Trixie, Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Student/Young Six. Spoiler characters: Windigos, Mean Twilight Sparkle, King Sombra. This story would get a [Fantasy] tag if it existed.

Author's note: I decided to rewrite episodes S9E24 and S9E25 as if Grogar were real and the finale were a four-parter. This story takes everything up to and including S9E23 as canon, and took inspiration from a huge variety of sources, including the finale trailer (though it does not strictly hold canon to the trailer).

I give my deep, heartfelt thanks my kind editors and prereaders, as well as the lovely anons on /mlp/ where I've been posting the first draft. My deepest thanks of all go to triq267, who's been helping me at every stage of the story with ideas and advice.

EDIT: SFW featured 1/6/2020, and again 1/14/2020! Thank you guys!

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 154 )

I find this interesting

10020391
I'm glad! I'll have regular updates as I already have it mostly written, it just needs editing and formatting.

10020536
Very interesting!

INTERESTING!

Loving the characterizations so far.

Well, like I said, I found this idea interesting over on /mlp/. Now that you’re posting it here, I’ll be reading. And thanks for reading Trouble in Tiatarta! Glad to know I’m not the only one who had some issues with the finale that needed to be worked out in constructive fic form.

10020536
10020545
10020582
I'm really glad all you guys are so interested! Expect an update once a day until I catch up with what's been written so far.

10020588
I hope you enjoy it. I've been working really hard on this.

Good read!

They are heroes, and they will act heroically

Well that wasn’t subtle...

Cozy Glow, you will stir up hatred between earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns.

It really is notable just how fragile the last season shows Equestria’s tribal unity to be. I’ve heard a few justifications for dealing with the Trio the way they were as “they brought back the windigo, something no other villain did”...but that’s not true at all. The ponies brought back the windigo themselves, and if the whispered words of one psychopath over the course of just a few weeks is enough to break down tribal unity then their return was basically inevitable.

I haven’t read this on 4chan so I have no idea what the artifact/thing that can deal with Discord will be. We’ll see.

I can definitely see this as being an MLP episode so far. You have a pretty good grasp on the characters and the narrative cues and so on.

Looking forward to more!

You have caught the attention of the Clown Prince of crime! I’m loving your story so far! I can imagine the looks of the heroes’ faces when they see Grogar...oh the fear! :pinkiecrazy: (joker laugh)

Anyway, great chapter. Keep up the good work.

Oooh! This is interesting. I am also working on my own version of the season finale, but I´m doing some separate stories first so it makes sense. Still, it´s nice to see other interpretations:twilightsmile:

10020826
I'm really happy you like it! This story has been a long time in the making.

10020885
I never wrote it out very explicitly in this scene on the original draft, as I was deliberately keeping it hidden until much later. After a reread, I decided to make it more explicit near the start of the story.

10020893
Grogar is a boogeyman. Remember, he's the Father of Monsters. Ponies think he gave the bugbear its sting and the dragon its firebreath.

10021443
I hope to read your version sometime!

“Because here was the best place to gather our foes and remove them all with one stroke. More importantly, it’s the perfect place to begin setting up the kind of empire I do want to rule: an empire of monsters, where my sons and daughters take what they please and destroy the rest!”

Now that’s a great idea! Why didn’t the writers thought that up? Oh wait. They lost their creativity to sugarcoating.

10021825
I based Grogar's intentions off of earlier episodes of Season 9, as well as his prior mention in A Flurry of Emotions. Grogar has no desire to rule over ponies. He wants to restore things to how they were before Gusty banished him

Sombra’s looking schmexy on that cover image.

My Little Ponies Do you know you’re all my very best friends?

Yeah, not seeing a lot of that from these ponies.

But the time for words was over. In a flash of pink light, Starlight and Sunburst vanished. With the torrent of emotions swirling around, no one noticed that Spike hadn’t burped up a letter in reply.

I’m guessing time travel nonsense.

Great chapter. Looking forward to see what happens next.

You sure made Grogar seem overwelmingly powerfull and everyone was neetly in-character. Better then the actual finale so far.

10020877

Well that wasn’t subtle...

I'm kinda confused what you mean. Was it too blunt to call them heroes?

The ponies brought back the windigo themselves, and if the whispered words of one psychopath over the course of just a few weeks is enough to break down tribal unity then their return was basically inevitable.

Yeah. The Windigos had already been hinted to return back in Hearth's Warming Eve.

10022162
Heh, indeed.

10022313
I hope you'll like what comes next!

10022151
Glad you like him!

10022249
Teleportation, actually. Was that unclear? I can revise it.

10022259
Next chapter will be up sometime tomorrow.

10022401

You sure made Grogar seem overwelmingly powerfull and everyone was neetly in-character. Better then the actual finale so far.

I'm really glad! Grogar is, in my eyes, one of the most powerful being on Equestria. In a normal fight against Discord it'd be about even, but Grogar's magical relics gave him the necessary leg up.

This was dramatic! I hope Celestia and Luna are okay. I am much less concerned about Discord but I’m sure he’s fine too.

Oh, earlier, what I meant was the “they are heroes and we should expect them to act heroically” bit seemed like an unsubtle dig at how UNheroic the six were in the finale by standing aside and letting Discord and the Princesses torment and execute helpless foes.

The blast tore through the palace’s spire, and when the dust was clear, no sign of the princesses was to be found.

No bodies=alive
It's cliche as fuck, we know they are fine and will come back, probably also Discord

Will this story pretend that there is something on the line to lose but in the end, no one dies and heroes win?

10022517
Oh, no, it was clear, I was just guessing at the future plot.

He reached out to claw open reality under them, when Fluttershy reached out a hoof to stop him. “Ummm… Discord… that does seem a little harsh. Maybe just put them back in Tartarus?”

“I agree,” Celestia stated. “Discord, please restrain yourself.”

Cozy couldn’t believe this. Discord had them completely helpless, Grogar was nowhere to be found, and the very enemies they’d come to destroy were now intervening on their behalf! It was the ultimate humiliation.

“Ugh, fine, be predictably merciful,” Discord muttered. “Just for the record, when they escape, I get to say ‘I told you so.’“

So how inhospitable is this other realm of reality when being banished to it is considered crueler than being trapping in a body sized cage until they die of old age?

10020877
Racism is the last refuge of the bad writer. It is rarely done well. (The only good example I can think of is in the Earth's Children series.)

10022619
I don't like to spoil my own story. But this was written as if it could be an episode, so that should be your metric.

10022566
That may have been it; I wrote it the day after the episode happened.

10023114
I have always seen Tartarus as causing temporal stasis. You don't age there.

And it was meant to be the dimension Discord tried to banish Tree Hugger to.

10023239
Maybe, I do wonder though if Tirek is in some kind of temporal status why in Twilight's Kingdom part 1 the image shown when Celestia is describing his past depicts him as big and bulky as Scorpan, (who's shown to be massive in comparison), as opposed to when he gets out in the present and is shown to be not only withered and aged but also the size of a average pony.

It feels much more in-character, than the "ending" from Haberverse.

Are you going to do a story based off of the original script for Season 9 after this is over?

10023508
I'm really glad! One of my goals was to keep everything in character.

10023678
Probably not. I will, however, do more short stories about the actions of various characters. Perhaps write a backstory for Cozy.

DIS GOIN' TO BE GOOD.

10020877

It really is notable just how fragile the last season shows Equestria’s tribal unity to be. I’ve heard a few justifications for dealing with the Trio the way they were as “they brought back the windigo, something no other villain did”...but that’s not true at all. The ponies brought back the windigo themselves, and if the whispered words of one psychopath over the course of just a few weeks is enough to break down tribal unity then their return was basically inevitable.

That's a pretty interesting way of putting it; windigos don't corrupt ponies. Ponies have to corrupt themselves first.

“Right over there,” Cozy said, sadness dripping from her voice. She was pointing to a dimly lit side road.

The guard cantered down towards it. As soon as he reached it, he collapsed over, his body suddenly atrophied. Cozy looked horrified as she ran over to him. “Are you okay, mister?”

“So… weak… tell the captain… medic…”

“Don’t worry,” she reassured him soothingly, a comforting smile on her face. “I’ll take care of it!”

Cozy Glow, you magnificent bastard...

This is really good.

10023686

The best part of the chapter was seeing the villains bond.

In honestly felt these like these villains were behaving look good buddies and not just co-workers. And in all felt in character as well.

Keep up the good work.

I’m really liking this so far. Great chapter!

10023740
Having the villains bond was very important to me. Their interactions in Frenemies and The Summer Sun Setback were a significant portion of the idea for this story.

10023745
Yay!

If I had to peg an element to Chrysalis, it would be Loyalty. She’s been betrayed a bunch but has never actually betrayed anyone herself, and we’ve never seen her being deliberately cruel to her allies, be they the other members of the Legion or her changelings.

Tirek, I think, would be Honesty. While he did lie to and deceive Discord, overall he comes across as strangely honorable and straightforward. He’s very up-front with what he’s about, but we also know that when he makes a bargain he actually does stick to it.

Cozy Glow, first thought is Magic/Friendship. She does genuinely want to make lots and lots of friends, even if she doesn’t understand what that actually means. But I can also see an argument for Laughter. She’s optimistic and gleeful in everything she does.

Our little town’s been through a lot

After awhile you learn to just shrug and say “that’s Ponyville.”

10024240
Very insightful. Keep an eye on that, it'll be important.

Every word I read is the most creative story I've ever read.

Another great chapter!
A little disappointed with how Queen Novo was portrayed though.

10025155
I'm really glad!

10025198
I based her off of the movie. What do you think I should have changed?

10025218
Considering the Ponies helped defeat the Storm King allowing Mount Eris to be retaken. I figured she would be much more opened now. Plus, since Grogar conquered Canterlot (correct me if I spelled it wrong) she would have more sympathy to the situation that the Ponies are in & feel like her kind owes them or be in debt to them since they helped defeat Storm King. Plus, she's Silverstream's aunt.

10025257
I see her as a naturally isolationist ruler. Her approach of fleeing underwater worked before, why not now?
As for Silverstream, you have a point. I might revise it to include an exchange between Novo and Starlight about Silverstream.

Cozy smiled one of her cruel smiles. “We crush them quickly and efficiency. No gloating, no leaving them around to witness our victory, just winning without hesitation.” As she spotted Chrysalis’s displeased look, she added, “Don’t worry! I’m sure you’ll get plenty of time to exact your revenge on Starlight Glimmer after we’ve dealt with all her friends and Grogar.”

I’m now starting to respect Cozy Glow for her smart move which most villains would find difficult to do.
Thank you for giving her that first line.

I wonder how Grogar is doing now. 🤔

10025438
Or you could write a chapter where Skystar or Terramar convince her. It's completely up to you.

I’ve got a feeling that Grogar will betray the Terrifying Triad, reveal he had known about their attempt to betray him, announce he’s not going to take over Equestria but rather destroy it out of spite, and make the three villains realize the same thing Discord had before during Tirek’s rampage in season 4.

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