There are only three real monsters: Dracula, Blackula, and Son of Kong.
Illegal cage matches, ass-kicking, and time-travel abound when Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight to a bare-knuckle boxing match. Why has Trixie come back? What does she want? Whose ass will be kicked? And what's up with the time-travel bit? The answers to these, and less interesting questions, can be found in, Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves.
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dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Sweetie_Belle.png I thought It was a 1 chapter thing,now I gotta wait
Ohhhhh, this should be interesting!!
One thing though . . . WHAT'S WITH THE SPIKE ABUSE!!!!!
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Should end up being only 3 chapters total. Each roughly the same length as this one.
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Yes I have, and I love that movie. The title Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves was just a dumb joke I made when I was telling a friend about Twilight and Trixie boxing. Somehow I couldn't think of a real title so it just kind of stuck.
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Comedy!
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You know maybe Twi might be good at this . . . with ALL THE CHEAP JABS SHE GIVES SPIKE!!!
This promises to be a fun fanfic (mainly because it already is).
I get pretty upset over Spike abuse, but not this time. The thing that determines entertaining Spike abuse from Spike abuse that just pisses me off (which includes barely involving him in a story) is humor. Funny Spike abuse is good. Like this fanfic. Love his closing line, by the way.
“Dr. Cliché? ... Dr. Cliché?”
I also love any fanfic where Trixie interacts with Spike. Hearing her act unreasonably nasty to him is fun, but I'd love to see them paired up more often.
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*ba dum tiss
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Thanks. I was debating whether or not to keep that last line in because I wasn't sure if it would actually be funny to anyone besides me. I'm glad I decided to keep it.
(shocked) OH MY GOD!!!!!
Pfffttt........Trixie ain't going to get everything Twilight owns anyway since she can go to Princess Celestia's palace and live there lol.
"Dear Princess Celestia.
Today I learned that under preparing can have dire consequences. Also, I lost the deed to the library in an illegal underground cage match.
Your homeless student,
Twilight Sparkle."
I see what you did there, you clever author, you. Wait, was there a particular example of foreshadowing I should have noticed?
A gorgeous, muscular dominatrix wants you to live with her an be her slave. TAKE THE DEAL, SPIKE, TAKE THE FREAKIN' DEAL. The fact that she took you into consideration is promising.
Even though the preview image is a Street Fighter parody, I couldn't get this music out of my head:
For me, if no one else, Trixie was supremely sexy for this entire chapter. Not because of the violence, heck no, but because she was smirking and confident the entire time. And that she offered to make Spike her slave (he didn't, but at least he got that kick-ass closing line). This is without a shadow of a doubt one of the most entertaining ponyfics I've ever read. I sincerely hope your plans for this go beyond a mere three or four chapters. And if they do, then I hope, by extension, that you can push this to its limits with the same level of wry humor (and sexy Trixie) that's currently making me love it so much.
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Yes, but I think it'll become apparent what it was once you read the third chapter. (Hint: read the book titles again)
Not to get technical, but technically it's a Street Fighter/ King of Fighters parody. (Kyo/Ryu)
And to everything else you said, thank you. It always brings a smile to my face when someone actually likes the crap I write.
I'm glad that someone appreciated how confident Trixie was as well. I've seen a good few fics about The Weak and Helpless Trixie, but I've always envisioned her to be incredibly strong-willed and I wanted to convey that in this story. I'm sorry to say though, that I only planned to write three chapters for this story. As much fun as I'm having writing it, I can't see myself successfully sustaining it across many more chapters. I've got the ending planned out and decided upon. I will say that there is decidedly less Trixie in the final chapter, unfortunately, but while writing it it has grown far beyond what I had originally intended. For that reason I have decided to split the remaining chapter into two parts, that will be posted simultaneously, and thus make it ostensibly a four chapter story.
I'm sorry to disappoint you, and anyone else that might be disappointed, but the story will end with the next chapter I post. All I can say is keep an eye out for my stuff as I will likely write more stories about The
MuscularGreat andSexyPowerful Trixie since she is best pone. Thanks again for your kind words and your support, also your feedback, I f****** love feedback.Dafuq?
You just effectively murdered everything and everyone in Equestria. And made Spike go out of character. And sentenced Twi (and Spike, who didnt do anything wrong) to eternal floating in the void.
You could have at least made like an apocalypse or something. All that potential, just wasted...
The whole Sonic Rainboom incident may have been crucial to the causality Spike was explaining to Twilight, but it still felt like a pretty big tangent. I was kinda hoping this would all escalate to an increasingly tense situation capped off with an actual punchline, rather than just Twilight whiting out all of existence. It was at least funny that she acted like a jerk to Spike, yet still pulled him along on all her adventures, abysmal though they were. This ending really deviated from the ludicrous situation that had been established.
I came up with something pretty funny that coulda happened there ... I shall share it.
After a short pause, the final book to land on Spike's head is a large, heavy dictionary, which hits him with a loud THUNK. He glares at the dictionary, then recovers and says, "Good job, Sweetie Belle, you've mastered comic timing."
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Damn... why didn't I come up with that?
I suppose it did go on a bit too long, especially since I was only using it to, as you said, allow Spike to explain causality.
That is basically what I was trying to do, thought it seems I failed. The punchline, apparently, didn't quite work either.
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Hmm, it seems that people are not liking the ending. That is unfortunate. I guess going in a completely different direction from the rest of the story wasn't as funny to everyone else as it was to me.
I'm sorry the people that didn't like the ending feel that way, but I do still appreciate the feedback. Especially if it's to tell me why you didn't like it. Knowing why someone doesn't like something is very helpful and it's much better than just getting a comment saying "This story suckz, your a faget."
So, to that end, I hope that everyone voices their opinion of the ending (and the rest of the story) in the comments. That way I can see what people did and didn't like and learn from my mistakes.
Thanks, to everyone who read this story, even if you didn't like it, and thanks for all the feedback.
1153322 I think the main problem is that in the finale, the narrative distanced itself from Trixie. The reason that was a problem is: she's the main villain. She was established in the first chapter to be the story's driving conflict, yet in the last one-point-five chapters, the main conflict is Twilight's obsession with making things right. I'm not just saying this because I love Trixie and love how you write Trixie, but when you establish a villain, that villain needs to be the main source of antagonism until the very end.
Perhaps it would have worked better if Past Trixie had seen Twilight and Spike before they turned invisible and made plans based on that twist. Or she could have shown up at the library while Twilight was messing around with wormholes and made the situation worse (or become a hero seeing as Twilight's judgement was impaired). When one has a character-driven narrative, it would probably be best to make use of the prominent characters until they have expended said use. Especially if one is The
GreatSexy andPowerfulMuscular Trixie.After a lot of thinking I decided that the ending I wrote was not good enough. But, rather than erase it and start over I chose to extend the ending by adding another chapter. I did this for two reasons. One, I don't believe in just whiting out my mistakes and pretending like they didn't happen. I want to keep those chapters as they are as a reminder. Two, I wanted to see if I could write an extended ending that provided the readers with a little more satisfaction, without taking away what I had already done. I suppose only the comments will tell if I was successful or not.
Anyways, I appreciate the time everyone spent reading this and I want to say thank you.The fact that anyone at all reads this still amazes me. You guys are awesome, even if you still hate the ending.
(Trixie is best pony...
)
[EDIT:] I have no idea why the indenting is messed up so bad. I've checked the document again in editing mode and everything looks fine. I'm seriously at a loss. Sorry, I guess.
@Alexmagnet dude I loved the ending. Has the funny irony thats been through out the whole story, especially with Twilight. All the while and even her defeat she's been rude and arrogant too though not as much as Trixie, and so karma comes in.
I found it a sweet ending that Trixie ends up living with her after all that, sorta heart warming. 
It would be awesome if you wrote a story of their living conditions after. The shenanigans of Twilight, Trixie, and Spike living together would be hilarious.
Well, there's my favorite sentence. Moving on.
Sometimes, mistakes lead to improvements that wouldn't have happened otherwise. Sean Akins and Jason DeMarco wanted TOM (the robot in my profile image), host of Toonami, to have a face at first, but without sufficient graphics, they were forced to give him a visor, which turned out to be way cooler. Even if they didn't learn their lesson and gave TOM 4 a face anyway.
Thanks to your lackluster original ending, we got to see Twilight do something totally epic and amazing. Right before she did something careless and stupid. Would it really have been so hard to let their past selves live in Ponyville while she trained in another town? Silly Twilight. Spike, however, did not learn. He still missed the opportunity to become Trixie's slave. Although in this case, she never offered, so I guess it's not his fault. But now that all three are living together (and two extras are hopefully still alive on the moon), perhaps he'll get lucky with that magician/athlete/
dominatrix.It was kind of a sore move from Twilight to try beater her for the sake of pride. Particularly since that's exactly why Trixie issued the challenge to begin with: it's the only thing she has over Twilight, and yet Celestia's star pupil is raring to snip away the last thread that the malnourished magician's self-esteem is hanging by. She completely deserved that second beating.
Lastly, Trixie's revelation: great idea. She was still as boastful and arrogant as her canon stage persona, but the twist you added also gave me a reason to feel sympathy for her, not to mention it added more depth to the situation in the same way some great movies reveal something that wasn't true from the get-go. And on a more subtle level I though the childish quality of the document was a nice touch, since Trixie has demonstrated a slight hint of immaturity in the show. Great ending to a fanfic that started out great.
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Well, I guess this means my new ending was at least somewhat successful. That's quite a relief.
As for the new Twilight and Spike, let's just say that they'll be back, and let's also say that might not have appreciated being sent to the moon(?). *wink wink*
Believe me, I've got big plans for the sequel. I plan on avoiding the Trixie and Twilight learning to live together trope, and go for something completely different. It should be fun... hopefully...
I offer to train Twilight for a nominal fee. With my help, Twilight will shatter the glass-chinned charlatan Trixie.
Read it all. Final thoughts?
The thing that I didn’t personally like about this story is that Twilight was almost completely demonized save for a few moments such as letting Trixie stay. Most of the time I felt like I was reading from Spike, the henchmen’s point of view as he obediently assists an abusive mad scientist. One who’s willing to destroy everything in her path for a little bit of vengeance against Trixie who just felt like a smaller and less powerful villain just trying to make her way in life. I pretty much just ended up rooting for Trixie all the way. At least she only abused Spike once with a punch for being rude as where it seems like Twilight had been emotionally abusing him since birth.
Though I’m happy Twilight got the thrashings she deserved, I hope at some point Doctor Whooves steps in to smack her a few times for abusing time travel so badly just for some petty revenge. Despite my discomforts with this story, I still enjoyed it for its strange flow, dialog, and simply watching those two throw down in a cage match. Something about Trixie being a hardcore fighter just makes me smile.
Also when Twi asked Spike “What happened?” after losing the first fight, I half expected him to pull a line for the movie Friday and say “You got knocked the f*** out!”
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I just stopped by again, many weeks later, to say that I found myself thinking... you know what story Trixie was a badass in? Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Hooves. I think that in my last post, I under appreciated the comedy and creativeness of this piece of work. Now that I think more about it, I actually really like the idea of Twilight pretty much becoming the "villain" of the story. But, as I skim it now, I just wanna let you know that I'm spotting some questionable small mistakes. If you want, I'd be willing to help you out with finding and fixing them.
Other than that, I just wanna be more firm than I was before in saying that I think this is a pretty good story you got here. I mean, it has to be if I'm coming back after so many months just to drop another comment!
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Holy crap, random comments on stories I wrote months ago...
Well, I'm glad you liked it so much you came back to comment a second time. While I appreciate your offer to help fix mistakes, I don't really plan on bothering with them since it's been so long since I wrote this. Plus, I feel like I've improved greatly since writing it, so I probably wouldn't require too much help. But again, I really do appreciate the offer.
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No problem! I actually figured as much for that I actually feel a lot of the same way about my old stuff. Seems like there's just little point in going back to fix it all. Just thought I'd offer you a hand any ways!
Any who... I look forward to seeing your more advanced work when I'm able to get around to it!
I started this and I was totally lost...now that i've finished...I suppose it's not such a bad palce to be. The fights were impressively done.
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Wow, you just went and commented on pretty much everything, didn't you? That's really awesome of you. Thanks, I really appreciate it. I won't reply to all of them, but know that I read all your comments and, again, thanks.
As for this story, well, it was written way back when I sucked really bad. As opposed to now where I only suck somewhat. At least it had cool fights...
2892195 *grins* Don't worry about it. I try and comment on stuff I read and have varying degrees of success
I think that the deed would be invalid since Twilight didn't know what she was signing but OH WELL xD
this braking the 4th wall right, isn't that pinkie's (and sometimes discords) thing?
well...
2
0
This was good, if a little on the odd side.
when i thought Twilight Sparkle 'gone evil right there'
A New Warrior Has Entered the Ring
Evil Twilight Sparkle vs Trixie
Evil Twilight Sparkle ULTRA 2 - Raging Demon
Trixie ULTRA 1 - Metsu Shoryuken
Funny how the copper pony (who I assume may be the Doctor) knows Trixie's last name but not her first name.
The Spike abuse already piling up I see, but that's what happens when you use indentured labour like Twilight does for dusting and keeping your library clean and doing all your menial work and expecting perfection.
If Trixie already managed to trick Twilight into signing away the deed, I half expect her to mean midnight TONIGHT, since 'tomorrow night' starts at midnight (to some people. Other people interpret the next day as starting at 12:01 am)
Oh my, Pinkie Pie hosting illegal cage matches in her basement? I wonder if Twilight will put her lawyer-fu to use and claim that since Trixie won it in an illegal match she didn't really win the library at all. If not, she'll just go live back in Canterlot again, possibly with Princess Celestia or for giggles living back with her parents again.
I see the titles of those books and spot you foreshadowing.
Spike's line at the end...
Twilight is rather OOC in this chapter.
I simply can't believe that she would deface a book by tearing a page out.
The rest of this chapter? I can believe it.
It's a good thing Twilight failed to make herself win the fight and ended up whiting out all of reality, because heavens knows if she had succeeded, she would have also started a circlejerk that would have lasted for months at being the one to actually cause the original Sonic Rainboom.
I was honestly expecting a bit more of a twist ending, something like that in this reality Trixie is actually a masterful mage on par with Celestia and certainly better than just a mere student of the Sun Princess, or heck, even a Fight Club ending where Trixie is really Twilight's alter-ego and this whole time Spike is watching his master descend further and further into madness.
That, or Sweetie Belle doing something with perfect comic timing.
Silly Twilight, Space-Time manipulation is not part of your job description.
Leave that to the Doctor.
You know, someone who knows how not to White Out the universe.
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/352cwr
^ my experience with this story in one picture.
Good job.