• Member Since 20th Aug, 2019
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SamSwordsman123


I'm a man from California that likes to fight with swords and write stories. Author of Luster Dawn New Days, breaker of the immorality curse. Also on Deviantart, Fanfiction.net, and Inkitt.

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Source

When Twilight discovers she gained the power of immortality along with the ability to control the sun and moon from Celestia and Luna, she decides immortality is a fate worse than death and decides she must give her power to someone else rather than suffer generations of loss.

Now has a midquel taking place between chapters one and two, Luster Dawn Friendship Successor.

Was for a long time deleted and combined into one story after being edited. Luster Dawn New Days. Read whichever one you want but this is the original story brought back at the request of another user. The first story of the Successor Verse.

Authors Notes: These stories use a theory I developed gathering info through the mlp wiki rather than the widely believed theory that immortality is the ability of alicorns.

If you believe immortality is a gift you are entitled to your opinion, but please be respectful. I'm trying to give people who don't want Twilight to suffer the curse of immortality an alternative. I would not read this if you are someone who firmly believes immortality is a gift.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 102 )

I just have one response.

Life is a gift, immortality is a curse, but the memories are to be treasured.
I support twi being immortal simply on the fact that she would use her immortality not to dwell on the pain of the past, but to use it to better the future.

Anyway, loved the story, you get double thumbs up.

I haven't read the chapter yet (I've put it on my reading list though), but I wanted to take a moment and present my reasoning for why people enjoy "Twilight being immortal" stories.

Some people obviously subscribe to the idea that Twilight is immortal because they think it's canon, I understand that. However, that's not the reason I like "Twilight being immortal" stories.

The reason I like stories that explore the concept of Twilight being immortal is that her dealing with said immortality is an intriguing plot point. Sometimes, it doesn't even have to be the main focus, but just a consequence. Stories that show Spike and Twilight outliving the rest of the Mane 6 for example could just be about Spike and Twilight's relationship and how much they mean to each other. The immortality isn't the main focus, but it is an integral part of the premise.

Additionally, it provides an interesting way for people to explore her psyche. All the alicorns were born mortal, that much is certain, then they ended up essentially becoming gods. Imagine the mortal mind, being trained to live under the assumption that all things in life are finite are suddenly faced with an infinite life. Saddle that with the responsibility of ruling a nation that treats you almost like a god sometimes, and that can be something hard for someone to process. Heck, look at how Celestia and Luna were reckless during their vacation. It shows how sheltered they were. What does that do to someone on a psychological level? How does this impact their relationships? And.... in a way.... immortality can actually highlight friendships. Celestia had to spend nearly a thousand years alone. Now, she has her sister back, Discord, Cadence, Twilight, and eventually Flurry. Exploring the relationship between immortal beings (especially when they are so few) is intriguing because they are the only ones that can even fathom what their lives are like. Whether they like each other or not, they are stuck with each other for eternity or until they are killed and considering they're usually rulers/treated as deities, that usually doesn't happen.

So, while Twilight being immortal is something disputed as being canon or not (as there are valid arguments from both sides), I don't think that it should discount Fanfic ideas that focus on the topic because it has A LOT of story potential.

Anyway, that's my piece. I'm typing this at 2 a.m., so forgive me if this sounds like nonsense. Just felt I needed to give you my piece. I'll be sure to read this once I'm not tired!

9886739
Thanks. You are right about memories. I do the same with my dogs. But I personally think that Twilight can choose whether to stay alive or not. Bettering the future is a noble cause, but that doesn't mean she has to do it for eternity even if she could. Even if I were a hero and had immortality that doesn't mean I would want to go about bettering the world forever. In fact I'd probably call it good at some point and maybe jump off a cliff just to get out of it.Besides Twilight said during the battle with the villains that others will continue their mission after she and her friends are gone. She's got a whole nation to carry on her legacy now. They can better the future in her place, which is something I plan to address in the final chapter probably at her funeral.

9887266
That's a very, very fair point, and one I'm willing to accept. :)

9886815
Well thank you for expressing your opinion. I suppose it makes sense. Have you had a chance to read the chapter yet?

9892270
I just read it and.... I have a couple of thoughts.

I'm not really seeing any purpose for this story. What is it built on?

It's obvious Twilight doesn't WANT to outlive her friends, but maybe she'd end up reaching a position where she might NEED to outlive her friends because she can't find a successor. Then, that can cause Twilight to question her choice of whether she WANTS to die with her friends. Now THAT'S a conflict.

I'm also a bit iffy on the start. Having the revelation come in a retirement home is a bit underwhelming. If it were me, I'd have started this story with a bang. It's Celestia and Luna's funeral and Twilight is about to go out and give a eulogy. Then, in a flashback, we are shown the scene where Celestia and Luna break the news they'll soon be dying, and we get the set up for what comes later.

This way, we know what our conflict is (Twilight finding/not finding a successor) and we have a memorable inciting incident (Celly and Luna's funeral).

In short, is this a bad idea? Heavens no. The execution, however, is left to be desired. Not BAD, by any stretch, but not memorable, which is what I try to strive for.

I'm sorry if this comes off a bit blunt, just calling it how I see it.

9892368
Well I always figured from the ending that Twilight was training her student Luster to become her sucessor, same as Celestia did for her. Yeah I was thinking it could have used some more conflict, and was thinking about having some of her subjects be against her giving up ruling and immortality. That idea of starting out with a funeral isn't a bad one, it could work. I'll think about that. But I'm proud to have gotten quite a few likes already. Thanks for your opinion.

9892681
No problem. I guess I just have an issue that Twilight is training a successor so soon. I know she doesn’t want to outlive her friends, but geez.

9892895
Well I extended the chapter to have a funeral scene and made the part where Twilight visits the princesses a flashback. I did think of having Twilight discuss the issue with her friends. Do you think that would be better than having her be silent about it?

9892920
Make sure you italicize the flashback.

How long has it been since Twilight took the throne?

9892931
Yeah I thought of doing that but some people have told me that's not necessary. Ah well, might as well. I've seen it done to.

I'm not entirely sure. But if I want Luster to be Starlight and Sunburst's daughter, and the time skip is around 25 or 30 years while she is in her teenage years/fully grown or so maybe it would be 5 years and the flashback can be during the first year? What do you think?

9892994
I’m just concerned that Twilight will be seen as weak if she passes the throne to Luster. I mean, Celestia served for centuries. Just seems weird. I feel like there needs to be more of a wrestling between what Twilight WANTS and what Equestria NEEDS.

9893000
Yeah I had that idea actually. I was thinking that at Luster's coronation there would be a group of ponies that demand she stay on the throne. But like I told someone else, Twilight said to the villains that others will continue her mission after she and her friends are gone. They don't need her anymore if you ask me, they just think they do.

9893015
Okay, but doesn’t that seem like a cop out? Like you’re saying “Yeah, this is an issue, but I’m going to ignore it.”

9893021
Seems more like a reasonable explanation to me. Didn't Celestia and Luna pretty much do the same when they retired? They left Equestria in good hooves, they passed on their responsibilities. They didn't abandon them. Don't we all have to do that at some point, let someone else take the reins? Just because someone is immortal doesn't mean they have to do that duty for eternity.

9893033
Sure, but the difference was that Celestia (at least) has been there for CENTURIES. If Twilight only serves for 1 century, maybe even less, that just seems like a cop out to me. Celestia groomed her to be her successor, but did she just want someone else to take the throne, or for Equestria to be in good hooves for another few centuries. One reason I feel Celestia gets her power is because of her long life. I imagine once she began to live into around 2 centuries, people began treating her more reverently. With Twilight, she won’t get that. And honestly, I feel it’s KIND OF selfish that Twilight takes the throne, but only has it for a relative blink of an eye before passing it along to someone else. I think there’s a way to make it work..... but the way I’m interpreting things right now, I just don’t know.

9893048
Well that's your opinion. I'd say its not a cop out if you pass on your responsibilities and make sure the future is guarded after you are gone. Doesn't matter how long term it is. Twilight may look like Celestia now but she Is still not her. I see no reason she absolutely MUST continue to rule for a thousand years if she finds a worthy successor to take her place and has no long term thousand year mission like getting her sister back.

Anyway, thanks for your suggestions.

9893056
I get that. However, my issue is that this story (on the surface) seems more about finding a successor than it is about Twilight debating whether there needs to be one right now.

If you want to take advantage of the premise, have there be some internal conflict. Because Twilight doesn't want to outlive her friends, that much we know, but what if, once it's coming around the corner, she begins to doubt if she SHOULD do it because Equestria needs her. That seems like a deeper, more intriguing story.

9893061
I did try to incorporate that where she is thinking about how she needs to choose carefully with the Sunset Shimmer and Cozy Glow mentions.

9893083
Seems like something that requires more introspection, but hey, to each their own.

Alicorns being immortal has always been more of a fanon idea, I think. It was never really hinted at in the show. They live greatly prolonged lives, but they don't live forever.

9895092
Yes I agree. That's why I had Celestia and Luna be immortal because of the magic they had. No real proof that just being an alicorn makes one immortal.

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"Yaks know things not last forever. That's why smash and rebuild!"
-Yona

One of my favorite lines season nine. Adds a lot more depth to the Yaks, if you think about it.

Comment posted by SamSwordsman123 deleted Oct 21st, 2019
Comment posted by Latecomer deleted Oct 21st, 2019

But to fair, I think it would be best to vote. All with faith in Luster raise your hooves.”

Should be...

But to be fair, I think it would be best to vote. All with faith in Luster raise your hooves.”

Thus Luster can pass the job onto another worthy student when she finds one.

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Comment posted by Latecomer deleted Oct 21st, 2019

Beautiful. I only hope we make a positive alternative to the angsty immortal fics.

9897548
Oh there was a bit of a discussion that got me a little irritated yesterday. So I deleted all the ones from that guy.

9897548
What do you of the story though?

9897583
Sorry. I may have taken it a little too far deleting all those. If only there was a way to undo that.

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