• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Marezinger Z


Always looking to learn and enhance my craft as well as share in the fandom fun.

E

Horizon lays beaten and ultimately held in a cell beneath Canterlot Castle. Left with three days before trial, he finds self reflection when Pinkie Pie pays him an unexpected visit.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 20 )

The end is just sequel bait.

Not that I mind. This is great!

Okay, look, I thought we agreed not to bring up what happened in the years before I surfaced as a pegasus.

I'll double the payments. That's my final offer.

[In all seriousness - I think you did a good job of building context through dialogue and exposition. I feel like I understand what happened to bring everyone to this point.

My biggest reaction, to be honest, was that this is a much grimmer and harsher Equestria than I was expecting when opening up a random pony story. Pinkie literally introduces herself with "My friends and I beat you up the other day, remember?" Celestia says nothing to the protagonist other than telling him there's a trial in three days, despite the exposition in the text that he was working directly with Celestia on the project and she was the one who pulled the plug. And where was Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship herself? It was fairly disorienting to have none of the ponies who I would expect to care about the main character actually care.

That aside, I suspect your experiment was successful. I'm not sure what goals you set yourself for it, but it's quite readable as a standalone piece.]

Nicely done. The earlier parts set everything up very nicely for the gripping conclusion. I almost figured out where Pinkie's logic had gone on my own.

That said, I'd imagine they'd use a binding spell like what they made Rarity go through in the Equestria Games. Assuming you are talking about the rings in the new episode this week. (S9e15 spoiler)

9779173
Yeah, I had the idea for this story a while ago and was playing with the idea. However, since the show made it cannon I went ahead with it.

9779039
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiesmile:

9779096
Thank you. When writing this, knowing there was no true opening or closing, I had to relay the summation of what had happened through dialogue. I wanted it to feel natural though, not just exposition dumping to explain what isn't there; which is why Celestia didn't recount the actions that generated the situation as from their point of view they both already knew. I chose Pinkie for this because I felt she would be the most open and sympathetic, given her nature of always trying hard to be everyone's friend in some capacity; and her simple and to the point personality would greatly lend itself the succinctness of the piece. I did want it to be able to stand alone, despite missing some context that some may see as necessary. I'm glad everyone is enjoying it so far. 👍

9779201
I think they included the rings so either the viewers or the in-universe spectators would know who is supposed to be the "Earth" Pony. It's also a bit more convenient (and likely more magically efficient) to enchant a personal artifact than to maintain a binder spell.

9779211
You know, this still might have worked with Fluttershy. The only reason I'd say it wouldn't work is because you wouldn't end up with the contrasting personalities.

Also, shouldn't he have had meetings with a lawyer? PLOT TWIST Pinkie is his lawyer.

MOOREE!!!!! i Wanna read More!

This story even with all the holes for imagination could go for atleast 1 or 2 more chapters to round it up. The viewers seem to think so. So maybe the aftermatch of the aftermath is in order ;) Also i wasnt kidding when i said another chapter could be made with pinkie vouching for Horizon and after that maybe a possible open future for him and his closest new friends.

Don’t know why everypony wants another chapter since this was way better on its own

I don't know why but after I was done reading this I was already shipping them in my head, was anyone else doing the same?

“Was it supposed to blow up half a city?” She queried in concern.

I love Pinkie's logic here.

Very engaging. You made me care about Horizon. I loved Pinkie in this.

“Remember how I said that these are the times when you need to turn to your friends?” Pinkie asked as she frantically yanked her body in all directions. “You can turn to me ! Nopony else may want to listen, but I do! I’ll be there for you, I’ll be your friend !” Her nigh elastic body began to tug free. “It may take time, but as long as you do your best to make things better than nopony can be mad at you! Please, Horizon! Let me help!”

*Then.

9780650
Thanks. I believe this is my first time just using one of the mane six. I'm glad that Horizon's character and story are digestible given the nature and length of the piece.

I really like this! I’ve always loved ‘villains’ who don’t think they’re evil or villains at all, which is what I’m trying to write into my own story lol

9783651
Same here. It's something the show has only really done with Discord. I've always had an interest not in criminals directly, but the way they see the world which drives them to commit the acts they do.

Love it!

Comment posted by Shadow_8472 deleted 10 hours ago
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