• Member Since 3rd Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Marezinger Z


Always looking to learn and enhance my craft as well as share in the fandom fun.

Sequels1

E

Once again imprisoned within Tartarus; Tirek Chrysalis and Cozy Glow manage to free themselves from their cages. Seeking an alternative exit, they explore the deeper parts of Tartarus and cross paths with an ancient creature who has sat silent within the prison for countless years. Sensing the villains' intent to escape, the long lived prisoner seeks to offer his words to them in hope of seeing them free from more than just their physical confines.

Written for the No Author Left Unnoticed story contest.
Contest Folder

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 58 )

This story is amazing! Have an upvote and a fave.

I know this is a one shot, but I kinda wanna see more of Aurelian.

9852840
Thank you. Glad you liked the story.

Excellent story. Aurelian does seem an incredibly jaded individual. I can't help but wonder what the princesses think of him.

Brilliant. I love how open ended it is.

Aurelian. Latin for “Golden One.” That’s some simple and effective symbolism.

Enlightenment is a difficult thing to portray in fiction, since enlightenment itself is a hard concept to grasp. I like how age and experience are key factors to understanding it, with Tirek being most moved by this encounter and Cozy Glow being the least. Single, impactful scenes in the lives of side characters are my favorite types of fics. Makes the MLP mythos feel big and small both at the same time.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this is a good fic. Have an upvote.

The Once-ler

9853142
Thank you. When I write short one-shots like this I spend as much time thinking about what I'm not putting in as what I am; as I have to choose what is most important for the reader. I imagine Aurelian being so old that his stay in Tartarus began well before Celestia and Luna were even born; meaning that even the rulers of the modern world are completely unaware of this immense power laying beneath them.

9853220
Thank you. I like my one-shots to not have a true beginning or end to maintain that openness for the reader; although it does make it hard to fight off the sequel bug that invariable starts tapping on my shoulder.
:twilightsmile:

9853272
I appreciate that. I'm really glad all of that still got through given the limited number of words I was working with for the contest. Although, I do tend to enjoy the succinctness that comes along with working on a short leash as these types of works tend to be more impactful on readers.
:pinkiesmile:

Although, for all their talk, they could not claim there were any less so.”

I think you meant: Although, for all their talk, they could not claim they were any less so.”

9853400
Thanks for the catch. Taken care of. 👍

Hm, fascinating idea. Given how old Equestria is, it's not hard to believe other villains existed and some even more ancient. Plus the pattern he mentioned does make sense. It's like how Peace and War can only last for so long, sure they might regin for a few decades even centuries but eventually everything falls and balances out.

Frankly Cozy, Tirek and Chrysalis could stand to listen to the guy. He's talking sense.

I would love to see a sequel what cozy glow, Tirek, and Chrysalis do. If they take Aurelian‘s advice I think they would have a funny roommate/family situation.

... but the pattern never swayed from repeating itself.

Apparently, the only thing that isn't ever getting boring is giving long-winded villain speeches :rainbowlaugh:

Okay seriously... I NEED TO SEE MORE. PLEASE.

I think what maybe truly sad about this is that it IS a pattern.
The Alicorn knows that in the war of light and dark someone will be in the dark corner fighting a ultimately useless fight.
They spout their rhetoric get close or succeed; then something happens to make the light shine through.
What ever happens after this is sad because Tirek could convince the girls to just live their lives outside society and/or go into the light, Or they will repeat the cycle and get destroyed, or sent back to Tartarus. In both cases the cycle will repeat again and again

Ladies & Gentlemen, we need another one.

It reminds me of what the Tree guy in Amulet said,
"I cannot see the future, but I have lived long enough that I have begun to see the patterns that appear." He had created a prophecy about the destruction of the Tyrant that ruled that world.

9853488
I think Equestria's far past is a good playground for writers because we have snippets of canonical information about it but nothing so concrete to say for sure, save for a few instances like the Pillars.

9853529
Cut the man some slack, he hasn't had anyone to talk to for thousands of years. 🙂

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9853810
I'm getting that sense. :twilightsmile: Although I'm someone who is always extremely weary of making sequels to one-shots like this due to the natural fear of running the risk of ruining it.

good story, this the kind of story that make me want to read the story. lord tirek is a big dick from that time i fought him but maybe he can reform too with queen crystalis and Co Zyglow.

fun fact: did you know Queen Chrysalis is named Queen Chyrsalis because her favorite band is Queen

“Magic, eh?” Tirek joined them. “Sounds delicious.” With a deep inhale he began to drain the magic from the panes, rendering them no more than windows.

I know this is fanfiction, and it's fine to twist some facts to better suit a story, but I can't help myself. In the episode Frienemies, it's shown that Tirek can only drain magic from living beings, not inanimate objects, such as the barrier protecting Grogar's bell in that episode or Chrysalis' cage in this story. =)

Oooo, I love the concept. I know people complain about villain reformations, but I really like seeing a villain come to realize the futility and emptiness of their ambitions. And it feels right that you left it open-ended; we can make estimations about what they might decide, but it doesn't have the too firm and saccharine an ending. The characters are left thinking, and that leaves the reader thinking. Very nicely done!

I kinda want someone to help poor Aurelian find friendship again, though. Poor guy is trapped in his own cynicism. =(

9853741
But it doesn't have to repeat for THEM, and they can enjoy the positives of living in the light as opposed to the ultimate and personal futility of the dark. I think that was Aurelian's point.

I'd Love To See More of The Group After This Story!

I'd LOVE To See How Their Characters Could Slowly Change After This! :pinkiehappy:

Well done. We'd all certainly appreciate a series after this, but something like that would obviously take a lot of work, as with this kind of setup, it'd be hard to end it with a short story. Well done regardless.

9854378
Hmm, now that would be something i'd wanna see! Role-Reversal Universe, writers get on it.

“I forget.” Aurelian admitted. “Time is meaningless in this place… even more so to an immortal.” He looked up at the ceiling in contemplation. “I have been good and evil. I have seen species come to life and go extinct. I’ve watched nations rise and fall.” He looked back to his three guests. “I have conquered the known world on three separate occasions only to watch it always return to a natural peace that is beyond anycreature’s power to interfere with. Which is the point I am trying to instill in you.” His horn lit and images of ponies, dragon, griffons and wild animals began to appear on the walls. “I have seen the end of your ambition more than once, with my own eyes. There is no meaning to it, no end other than failure and emptiness. The light that exists in the hearts of creatures will always shine when they need it to in order to stay whatever shadow you attempt to cast over them.” He looked about at his magical creations. “Even in victory, I found no peace or fulfillment in what I had done; for in those moments of dark victory I was alone. Invariably, a group of those filled with light stood to defy me each time and always clutched a victory of their own from the jaws of defeat. It was a different group each time, with different stories and different magic, but the pattern never swayed from repeating itself.”

Three separate times and occasions. Three separate Generations of MLP brought to an end. Those filled with light came and banished him back to the darkness each time, creating the next Generation.
That's how I interpret it, at least.

9854768
In a manner. Aurelian is speaking of groups of heroes like the mane 6 who step up for each generation to become the champions of their age; just like the pillars before them and the student 6 who will likely come after them. But, your interpretation is a fair one to consider; I never watched the older incarnations so the fact that the story and the past shows line up numerically like that never clicked in my head.

9854315
I understand your concern. You don't have to do anything but if you ask me you could "lend" this idea per say to your audience. Or just do a short "idea" blogpost where you explain in short a possible direction.

I'll be honest tho... Cozy Glow might be young and still have a life ahead of her but... Chrysalis? Tirek? Will they live long enough to find a meaningful new purpose in life? New aspirations? New dreams? New reasons to be happy? I have had this idea in my head where redemption is offered to them but... it's too late to go through the necessary arduous process of changing one's mind. What then? Do they send a message back in time to their younger selves urging them to change? Does that work? Do they just... give up and live the rest of their lives in solitary confinement/solitude?

Another idea puts them into the road to accept redemption but they find it... unsatisfactory. Like they accept a new way of thinking but it ultimately doesn't bring them the happiness they wanted. It sabotages their redemption and makes them feel indoctrinated/used in the effort of making a more peaceful world. It makes them think that their opponents didn't only beat them in combat... but in the mind too.

It makes me think... and I'm not sure I like where it leads.

If only it wasn't a one off. Maybe when the contest ends you could continue?

9854373

Yeah, he is like Morla in Neverending Story. If I were in the trio´s horseshoes, I would have pointed that at least they have a purpose in life yet, a drive to move forward. Aurelian just gave up and decided to let himself to rot.

This could be the first chapter in the reformation of these three. I think it would be an interesting read.
9855953
The problem is he has done it all and seen it all. He's played both white and black. And being that old, centuries are like years, years like months, months like days, days like hours, hours like minutes. It's like looking at life at fast forward everything blends together. Look away your friends are dead and buried and you're looking at their great-grand kids. Be gone a "year" and a century has passed. Everyone you'd know and like is a mayfly. Except Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Purple Smart.

I think this story is absolutely amazing, except for a bit of numbers nitpicking. He says he's seen species rise and fall, but ten thousand years is FAR too few to see anything on that scale biologically. As well, he waits for the end of time. The fact that he just so happened to come into creation just ten thousand years prior to our story is a HUGE coincidence, considering that there were likely billions of years of window for it to happen. It would make more sense on a scale of tens or hundreds of millions of years.

9854809
If it boils well with you I would love to see where the Evil Trio goes from there.

9854315
You could keep it short and just take it to what you think would be the natural answer they would get to. Some adventure that will let them find the answer to what left them shaken.

9857558
The evolution, life and extinction cycles suggested don't really add up to the scientific world that we know to be our own, but I do try to not let that fully impact the possibilities in a magical world like Equestria. Looking into it, I never found a lot of canonical explanations for things like pre-history and where the species that exist in the current time came from. In this world, species are types of creatures like ponies, dragons and like; and given that some species are born of magic as we saw when the mane 6 literally dismantled the mystical creatures into their individual components while escaping Tartarus, it doesn't seem too far a stretch that many 'species' could have come and gone. In regards to the 'end of time', Aurelian is speaking more to the simple fact that he has lived long enough to see every eventuality that life has to offer and, given his perceived futility of it all, has resolved himself to simply sit in Tartarus until existence as they know it ceases to be; as no other force seems to able to end his life which he has grown tired of living. I hope that explains my thought process a bit.
:twilightsmile:

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9857599
This story seems to have hit a very positive chord with readers and even though it was intended to be a one-shot, I think I will work to find a good way to keep it moving forward. My position on the idea has certainly changed over the past couple days given all the amazing feedback this piece has received.

9857655
Very good. We all look forward to it

I've been avoiding the S9 spoilers so I almost didn't read this. I'm glad I did though. It was interesting to watch their notions being challenged.

I'm probably the only reader who found Aurelian neither convincing nor all that interesting.

9855953
Agreed. His message is what? Don't be good, don't be evil, do... nothing? Or do something, but not anything on the spectrum of morality? What an arrogant and foolish creature. I hope they decide to throw their lot in with one of the sides even harder—to spite him, and be it for his arrogance and condescension alone. I think that would be an interesting twist. For all his talking, his message is actually as empty as he is, and it would be fascinating to hold up this mirror to Aurelian, who thinks he has the universe figured out because he's supposedly the strongest there is and saw a lot.

Jeez, someone's full of himself.

Huk

That was surprisingly... good. I'm not really a fan of short SoL stories, but that one was different.

Nicely done, and interesting perspective about immortality.

9861792
He's telling them to not go down the same path he did which is do something evil and then be stopped because someone good stopped him it is a pattern that old as time itself good and evil will always fight it's better to live your life the best way you can

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