• Member Since 27th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Tranquil Serenity


I am a one-shot writer who loves Slice of Life tales and hearing from readers who enjoy my stories. Click on my blogs for an MLP poem.

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Comments ( 15 )

The ending leaves a bit to be desired, but overall, not bad!

Have a Thumbs Up!

What a nice way to capture Spike's thoughtful side.

Hmm. I like it! I kind of wish there was more to the ending. It dosen't really feel like an ending. I was actually going to track this story until I realized that it was complete. If the story was about writing the letter and nothing else, then add a scene with Spike deciding that finally finishing the letter and expressing his feelings is what's important. You know, a little character growth. Otherwise, maybe actually explore Rarity recieving the letter? Or heck, why not both? This seems like the type of story that would benefit greatly from being just a bit longer. You earned a big thumbs up!

this needs a sequel follow-up
or another chapter for the same purpose

:duck: Oh thank you Spike, Opalescence made a mess by the kitchen table and I was all out of paper towels ......
:facehoof: They were married two years later and their foals were....
:pinkiegasp: reallysuperdupercutebutyouhadtofireproofthebabysroomandeverywhereelseinEquestria

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I left the ending open purposefully, leaving it up to the reader's imagination as to how Rarity responds to the letter. I wanted it to be more about Spike getting his affections for Rarity on paper, finally having the courage to let her know how he feels. I'm thankful you all enjoyed this little piece for what it was though. :twilightsmile:

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i'm not a fan of open ends

Very poetic how Spike writes about his live. Nicely done

10351191
Glad you enjoyed. Yeah, I tend to just write short stories and move on to other ideas, but I'm happy you found this piece interesting. :moustache:

As you wrote yourself - I can see why you left it open the way it is. I won't say that I didn't hope for a resolution, buuut... I kinda expected this midway through. From reading this and a short comment about him being older now, I think this plays out a couple of years after the events as seen in the show. With someone like Twilight and Starlight around, living in a library no less... I can imagine his eloquence growing to this extend quite well. (Trying to impress Rarity might've contributed as well.) His prose is a little 'too much' for my taste, personally, but it's fitting for him.
Now as for Rarity's reaction... I think she'd deny him. Because Rarity is Rarity, she'd try to let him down softly, cautiously, because she doesn't want to hurt him more than is strictly necessary. That being said, I do think she would decline. Head-cannon is a nice thing and all, and I do - sometimes - like how their ship can and might work out, but given the shows context... I think age was the problem from the start. He's young. Really, really young. Like, 'Sweetie Belle is his playmate'-young. And even though she's not exactly old, she is at least older than him. By a significant amount of years. Because in those early years, every one of those count. There's a huge difference between being 12 and being 13. Or being 15 and being 16. However, there's barely any difference between being 30 and being 31. Anyway, that's just me thinking about how this might go on...

Thank you.

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Yeah... It's difficult for me personally to think how Spike and Rarity in the show could end up together with it really feeling right, and her turning him down would be a rather depressing 'resolution' after he sent her such a letter. Hence I simply left it at a 'putting pen to paper' and an exit - meant to convey a sense of the feelings of love and admiration he feels for her, whilst simultaneously also highlighting the disquieting emotions he would likely experience taking courage to tell her. I prefer to leave the 'end' up to the reader too, partly so shippers and non-shippers aren't put off by the conclusion if it doesn't match up with their tastes. Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts. :twilightsmile:

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