• Member Since 27th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Tranquil Serenity

I am a one-shot writer who loves Slice of Life tales and hearing from readers who enjoy my stories. Click on my blogs for an MLP poem.


Having only recently given up her bullying ways, Diamond Tiara still feels she has a lot to learn about being kind. Well, who better to ask about it than a certain shy Pegasus? So the little filly goes to the mare's cottage straight away!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Very simple story, though heart warming. Only, I felt it ended a bit abruptly but, it's not a big problem.

A pretty good story. Just needs a bit of 'polishing'... :raritywink: Upvoted.

Always nice to see fics like this. But as others have pointed out it feels a lite 'unpolished' if you'll pardon the pun. It's good, but I would've liked to see the conversation last longer, for Diamond to get a true sense of how far she's already come and how far she still has to go. Maybe even some reassurance that the road to reformation is a constant one, but as long as you're willing to commit to it you can become better than who you used to be. :twilightsmile:

Thank you. I had originally intended it to be longer, but in the end I just ended up leaving it short and sweet. :twilightsmile:

Well, I had intended it to be, perhaps a bit longer, but in the end I just made it a short little one-shot. Kindness is a pretty simple concept, but when you get into the specifics of giving advice about it, it can become a lot more complex. I wasn't entirely certain what aspects of it would be best or the most logical to explore with these characters, and I didn't want it to drag out too long and risk creating a discussion that seemed like a long lecture on the obvious.

I was happy with what I had written thus far though, so I just left it at Fluttershy agreeing to help the little filly by listening to her and answering her questions as needed - So begins a friendship, and Diamond Tiara is provided an adult mentor in addition to the supportive friendship of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. That way I end it on a hopeful note, and with room left for the reader's imagination as to how these characters' relationship might develop. :twilightsmile:

May I recommend you a fic I wrote, along the same lines about Fluttershy and DT bonding but just a bit longer and directly following on from the episode 'Viva Las Pegasus'? It's called "Impossibly Rich, Is that you?" and all you have to do is clickie on the linky. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts... :raritystarry:

I loved the story. And it had a very good ending, but to be honest :ajsmug: I’m dying for more! I think it would be awesome to have Fluttershy give Diamond private lessons on kindness considering Fluttershy teaches that at the school of Friendship now. But, like I said, I love the story, and I wouldn’t mind it staying just the way it is. :heart:

Thank you SO much! I'm very thankful you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile: Love your avatar with Pinkie and her crown, by the way. :raritywink: It's so cute! :raritystarry:

You’re welcome. And thanks! :pinkiehappy:

I checked your profile and instantly noticed a Diamond Tiara story so here I am. This was a short one, at the same time I want more and leave it like this. Either way this was a neat little story of DT

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

Diamond Tiara took a deep breath and stared at the obstacle before her - The door to Fluttershy's cottage.

And so my next comment begins with the now-established routine: whatever I happen to notice about the story's grammar/punctuation/typography comes first and then the actual comment. You've used a hyphen instead of an en/em dash, and after it 'the' is capitalised.

Sadly, however; the transition hadn't been as easy as she'd initially thought it would be.

You've used a semicolon but not between independent clauses. 'However', a conjunctive adverb, can take a semicolon before itself if the semicolon connects independent clauses; however (see what I did there?), this might be why you've used it in this context, where a comma is required.

Sadly, however, the transition...

Suddenly, Fluttershy flew in carrying a tray and set it on the table in front of her guest. The yellow Pegasus lifted the teapot and poured the hot chamomile into the two teacups, both with the same decorative floral pattern on them.

Haha, trust Fluttershy to be into chamomile! But my man, should any story be pleasant partly on account of its containing a tea-drinking scene, you'd best believe I'll be all over it! I friggin' love tea (admittedly not chamomile, but the principle's the same). You write Fluttershy very well, maintaining her subtle gentleness of expression but not labouring the point (a trap into which many a writer falls at some point). How many stories of yours do I have left? Hmm. Lemme check.

Two more!

Thank you! I'm so happy to know you liked the way I wrote Fluttershy here, and I'm glad you enjoyed the overall story as well. :pinkiehappy:

I read another author's 'Fluttershy tea party' story the other day as well, which I enjoyed. It's the tea, man. A good, civilised sit-down to enjoy a cup of tea – and that I wouldn't know how to go about writing one not driven by snarky dialogue (the idea of which I don't like in this context) ends up lifting my enjoyment of the quiet, calm (better) versions written not by me even more.

Hmm. If you're especially fond of 'Fluttershy having tea stories', I recall Tea Time with Alicorn as being a rather enjoyable read. :twilightsmile:

I'll add it to the ol' R.I.L., then give it a shot! Ta for the recommendation!

Wished this was extended more to show Fluttershy teaching Diamond kindness but otherwise an okay read.

...Agreed. That Diamond is in desperate need of polishing, and we all know the perfect pony for the job. Best pony.

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