• Member Since 4th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Askre


I'm just someone who likes writing stories.

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to The Last of the Dark Ponies


Beware the Queen of Rage and Wrath.
For deadly are her many ploys.
And little pity is in her heart.
As her rage consumes and wrath destroys.

So sung the ancient Saddle Arabian bards of their nations most dangerous enemy. Queen Rabia of the Dark Pony Empire. Ever did she match wits and force with their old kings until her surprising demise, leaving her daughter Ira on the throne. Then the ancient Saddle Arabians finally invaded, destroyed their ancient enemies and executed the Last Queen. But Rabia had another child, the mysterious Lost Son who disappeared from her court before these events.

King Sombra, former tyrant of the Crystal Empire, the Shadow King. Lost Son of Queen Rabia. Exiled in his first defeat, killed in the second, fled into hiding in the third and finally captured the fourth time and sent to Tartarus. He would probably be rotting there along with Lord Tirek if there wasn't just one problem.

In his fourth defeat, his mother Queen Rabia unexpectedly returned. Promising the destruction of modern Saddle Arabia for what their ancestors did. The Saddle Arabians call the destruction of the Dark Pony Empire and the execution of the Last Queen their Great Shame, but the Queen of Rage and Wrath does not care.

For the destruction of her empire, they will face the Rage of a Queen.

For the execution of her daughter, they will face the Wrath of a Mother.

Saddle Arabia's hope may lie in the absolute unlikeliest source. The Tyrant of Fear and Hate. Who doesn't particularly like them much either.


Special disclaimer This story features mild bisexuality topics. If those kinds of things makes you uncomfortable, this is not a story for you.


This story is part of The Equestria Tales series.

The third story in the "Return of the Dark Ponies" story arc.

Edited by Hail King Sombra

Chapters (22)
Comments ( 25 )

It's finally here! I'm so excited for more! Also, there's one instance where 'Sombra's' is rendered as 'Sombras' but that should be an easy fix.

10142436
That error has been fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.

I think the period in the title should be a comma...

10142512
That is an excellent point, I have fixed the title.

“Well, this is the first time I’ve heard my mother being referred to as a manticore,” Sombra casually remarked, causing Foxy to almost jump her height and quickly turn around, placing a hoof over her rapidly beating heart.

Was that a reference to Tyrant of Fear and Hate? :rainbowlaugh:

The king growled and tossed the second towel away, missing using his magic to dry up. He grabbed a third towel to finish up.

Three towels?
I loved the flashback in this chapter. I love the story over all. Captain Vago seems like a strict but nice stallion. I love seeing Sombra reminiscing about his past.

...Also SIX towels?! That's just ridiculous. Maybe Sombra can't cook but with this in mind he can at least do some laundry work.:rainbowderp:

10229817

Was that a reference to Tyrant of Fear and Hate?

Yes, Yes it was. :pinkiehappy:

Three towels?
I loved the flashback in this chapter. I love the story over all. Captain Vago seems like a strict but nice stallion. I love seeing Sombra reminiscing about his past.

...Also SIX towels?! That's just ridiculous. Maybe Sombra can't cook but with this in mind he can at least do some laundry work

There may or may not be laundry in his future. :rainbowlaugh:

Does Ira play an expanded role in any of your stories? She was already a wasted character in the comics and she's dead here... ...She deserves a bigger role!

10250697
In order not to spoil for those who have not read the story, here is a not so cryptic hint:
In the story Temor, you may find the answer you seek.

Ooo getting some more details about Celestia and Sombra. I’m all for that and maybe end up together if Sombra isn’t planned with anyone else.

this story is really cool please make more

10262662
All I can say is there are no real solid plans for either of them, I'm keeping everything open. :pinkiehappy:


10270881
No worries, there will be more, though the second part, which we are heading into, may have more a choppier update schedule, since I actually had to rewrite a good chunk of it (I'm still rewriting a good chunk of it), including chapter 12.

Sombra heard squealing, followed shortly after by mildly hysterical giggling. He was coming from the washroom. The others had tasked him with cleaning the six towels that he had used during his first shower in the house. Although the Dark Pony felt the activity a bit beneath him, he had held back any grumbling about it, knowing playing nice was essential right now.

Oh Hello there, where have I seen you before...hehe

Well, that worked.

*throws pillow


YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AGAAAAAAAAAIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I love him)

10524701

Oh Hello there, where have I seen you before...hehe

I actually considering having a scene of Dew going "You used Six towels? You get to clean that up" and Sombra grumbling about that. But any point that would have happened, adding such a comedic event just didn't fit into it.

*throws pillow


YOU ABSOLUTE BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AGAAAAAAAAAIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I love him)

Isn't he though. :rainbowlaugh:

“How dare that insufferable pony cast aspersions on me as a mother,...

“To face adversity. Sombra was a pedigree,...”

Duuuuude, that vocabulary. I learn so many -before unknown- words reading this.

I was going to make a solely wacky reaction comment about these ridiculous names you create and ask you WHY but there's already an Author's note. Seriously Horsefar, MUSTANGFOR IV?! :rainbowlaugh:

10568298

I was going to make a solely wacky reaction comment about these ridiculous names you create and ask you WHY but there's already an Author's note. Seriously Horsefar, MUSTANGFOR IV?! :rainbowlaugh:

What can I say, this may be a little more mature take on MLP, but it is still MLP. Odd names are just par for the course. :pinkiehappy:

10574354
Glad you did, thanks for reading. :twilightsmile:

“That’s a companion. That’s not the same as a retainer,” the king grunted under his breath. He then muttered. “I want someone around that I can trust.”

Gay gay homosexual gay.

11055506
ROFL To his credit, Sombra isn't denying anything about his preferences, he just doesn't like to admit he wants to have someone around he can trust. He's going to enemy territory after all. :rainbowlaugh:

11056668
I know, but the joke still has to be made. :trixieshiftright:

Well, the pandemic sure threw a dent in... just about everything, and my time at university did that for everything else the past two years. I'm still glad to have gotten to finish this story before finals this year. It was great to see Private, Sombra, and all the other characters back and ready to fight Rabia. She had been built up so much over the past few Dark Pony stories that I expected this to be the grand finale, especially judging by some blogs I think I remember you making lately. While this was a good story, when I finished it I couldn't help but wonder if I had heard you mention plans for more anywhere. While Rabia was defeated, her final fate beyond being very firmly characterized as irredeemable (and rightly so) is not given. Plus, Sombra, Private, and most of our core characters don't have their story arcs resolved.

This series hit a point where it was adamant about keeping in line with canon, but in doing so it maintains a really uneasy balance in the later stories. You've fleshed out the lore and characters a lot, and at this odd middle, I'd say that taking things in the direction of a post-canon AU (though, it's really only AU in the sense that you started writing before the seasons that differed from your ideas) would be for the best. It would allow more unique storytelling options and you wouldn't need to worry about painting inside the lines when you've shown that you can make your own. This awkward dance with canon had a notable impact on the pacing and suspense possibilities. When I was reading some of the middle sections, I felt that they probably could have been moved to earlier, rising actions with a few slight divergences. This meant that at times the middle section of this particular story didn't feel as suspenseful as the two major Dark Pony stories before it, and at times felt like a lot of build-up upon build-up to a much-hyped villain in Rabia, and that the characters were usually always on the move or making a recap-ish nod to something that a regular reader didn't need nearly as much. That can throw off the amount of time that was spent on spooky villain shenanigans (Rabia is an interesting character to follow) and further the development of characters who have been around the whole series.

So, as a grand finale story, this did let me down. But if that wasn't the case, and there is more to come, then this was a solid bridge story with some minor pacing problems. In the better moments when the princesses, Main Six, Discord, Sombra, Private & Friends, or new OCs are all scrambling to find something or get on the same page before the eventual final confrontation with Rabia, I'm reminded of the longer specials in the G1 pony series. Characters would usually scramble through the setting in search of puzzles, a group that had splintered off, a magic artifact, or finding characters able to help them in times of danger. Having multiple smaller factions of friends and allies in this series carries similar tones to those adventures.

11075562
Well, I can't help you regarding the canon. I am a notorious stickler to it when writing fan fiction, just ask my readers of TMNT fan fiction, I even watched back to back several episodes of the old 80's tmnt how when writing stories happening in that universe to make absolutely sure I had the personalities in that universe right. This is just as it happens my way of writing fan fiction. :pinkiehappy:

Regarding Rabia, well, she turned out to be just as difficult for me to deal with as it was for the other characters. I did have in mind a much grander finale with Rabia going to the capital of Saddle Ariba in full-out rage mode with civilians still there with an army of rage mutants, but that darn mare insisted on being difficult about things. One thing did survive though from that ending, Ira's portrait freezing her in her tracks.

You are not wrong about the paging issue either, I had to rewrite the entire second part and I'm still not 100% happy with how it turned out, yet I still think it's better than what I originally wrote and happier with this version than what I was originally going to have. Needless to say writing Rabia turned out to be trickier than I anticipated.

Sadly there is not going to be a grand finale to this, I have been picking at an epilogue story, but I can't give any guarantees when that one will be out, I just haven't been in a writing mood for a while.

11104836

Sadly there is not going to be a grand finale to this, I have been picking at an epilogue story, but I can't give any guarantees when that one will be out, I just haven't been in a writing mood for a while.

Any promise of more is still pretty good for me. 👀

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