• Member Since 26th Sep, 2018
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago


Don't fret. I don't ever wanna see you and I never wanna meet you again.


Let's face it, Thorax is a trooper.

Not because he survived getting his love eaten by Chrysalis then took over the Changeling Empire, but because he managed to survive in the Crystal Empire with Phototaxis.

How will Thorax strive to fix something ingrained in his Biology? Will he stop getting distracted by Shiny things?

This story is inspired by the Lamp meme.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 33 )

Nobody tell Thorax about Rarity's boutique.

Lamp meme? What Lamp meme?

The cool air of the empire chilled him to the bone, causing him to shiver uncontrollably. Changelings were cold blooded after all.

Small nitpick--cold-blooded animals don't shiver. There's little point since their bodies produce little heat internally, so it's really only a warm-blooded animal thing. :raritywink:

Other than that, I can see how there could be some fun had out of this premise with a bit of creativity... :trixieshiftright:


Oh wow, glad to get a comment from you.

I am a big fan of you 😊

Also, shivering is literally a mechanism to increase body temperature.

Right, but from what I understand, its not too effective at doing so with cold-blooded critters, so most don't seem to evolve the ability. Whatever the case, science has observed shivering is a trait exclusive to warm-blooded creatures, so if Thorax is truly cold-blooded, shivering probably isn't the response he would be making. He would instead probably be seeking someplace warmer to be, if nothing else.

Well...tomorrow morning should be interesting. :rainbowlaugh:

Why would there be a bug zapper in The Crystal Empire? I know the empire is warm, but as the story points out, it's in a very frozen northern region. One too cold for insects to be around.

Don't get me wrong, it's a funny and fun chapter, just seems a bit odd to me.

Considering that they've been Chrono-locked for 1000 years, they probably saw it while on vacation and thought it was just a neat looking lantern.

Bug polar bears, maybe?

Probably for bugs getting into the Empire via imports and other trade. It's how most creatures these days get into regions they aren't normally native to. And once they're within the warm confines of the Crystal Heart's magic, any insect could probably live a relatively normal life, maybe even thrive.

But that said, I also like 9218121's explanation. That does seem like something a crystal pony would do. :rainbowlaugh:


But that said, I also like MyLittleTimeLord's explanation. That does seem like something a crystal pony would do. :rainbowlaugh:

It does, doesn't it?

Yeah. How about we weigh the pros and cons of telling Thorax about his problem with shiny things. Cons: He might be embarrassed. Pros: He would be more aware of it and could try to take preventative measures. It might not work, but it's worth a try.

Eh, we all know Cadance wouldn't intentionality say something that ciuld hurt someones feelings.

Its probably her idea not to tell Thorax.

Yeah, but I find embarrassment preferable to injury.

Æll mūst bę sæçrįfïčėd før thē S H Ï Ñ Ÿ

How shocking hehe

Oh god.... This was pretty funny.

The title alone made my day :rainbowlaugh: . Having that said there are only 15 minutes left of it :facehoof: .
Nerd edit: phototaxis only means that something is influenced by light, not necessarily that it's drawn to the light (positive phototaxis). It can also mean that something is trying to avoid light, wich is then called negative phototaxis. Millipedes for example exhibit negative phototaxis.

Huh, so Cadence is like Thorax' nicer stepmom.

I know it's played for laughs here, but more stories should have a parental relationship between Thorax, and Cadance & Shining Armor, it's just such a nice premise.

The only other fic I can think of that does it is Dear Small Pony Book, (and that's a master piece.)

I really like this story.
When i first saw it marked as "This story is inspired by the Lamp meme." by a user named Deergenerate i feared is was just a no effort trollfic but reading it it turned out to be a good story.
Keep going^^

Shining: "Thorax! No! Don't look at the light!"

Thorax, hypnotized by the bug zapper: "I can't help it, it's so beaut--ZAPP

Bet you can't get the reference!

Uh.. attraction to light, uh would that be photo...philia or.. something? I know Photophobia is a medical condition that could lead to someone fearing bright light.

If Thorax is any indication, Changed-lings are like Dragons, Crows and Magpies, their favorite colour is: Ooooh Shiny..

This. Is.


Wonder what Thorax will go after next...

I've enjoyed this fic since chp 1. i look forward for more :twilightsmile:


It’s from the movie bugs life

That's my favorite scene from a bugs life.

That was when Flurry, who saw the big shiny red button, and as a baby did the only thing she could think to do. The second her mother's levitation let go of it, she slammed her little hoof directly on the button with all her might.

I can totally see the canon flurry heart doing this. I mean, she was a day old at max when she shattered the crystal heart. We can not really blame her, no matter how smart she is she is just a baby after all, and as such she doesn't really understand what is going on. But yeah, flurry heart tends to cause disasters.

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