The Map of Friendship has summoned Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash and sends them on a quest to visit the far off Principality of Cervus, the homeland of the enigmatic deer species.
When they arrive it becomes rapidly evident why the map sent them there. They have never met a bigger race of cynical apathetic nihilists in all of their adventures. Now the three ponies have to do everything they can to help the deer cure their self-destructive tendencies.
Spoiler alert, it is one of the hardest friendship missions they have ever had.
Chapters (5)
Hmmmm. Okay, now I’ll be frank. I’m no author and I’ve barely have experience in writing anything much less success so I’ll keep my criticisms light. Now I’m not sure if the story gonna be very long or decently size but if so then that’s okay. Not normally my thing. However, I couldn’t help but feel like you kinda rushed us here. As in you wanted to hurry up and get us from point A to B so the story can start. That’s fine and all considering the focus is placed on these outsiders and the downfall of there once great kinda. I just feel as thought the transition could’ve been smoother. It’s just a minor nick pick on mine really.
This is all I could think up but I will say this story does have promise. It’s not something that I’d personally pick out for myself but hey I read it. So keep up the good work and remain steady fast ^>^.
So basically they are millennials?
10618952
I had that thought too.
10618952
Just without the Avacado toast and all the other cringe of Millenials, I suppose XD
I think they collapsed because the princesses completely invalidated whatever religion they had and then they felt that they didn't stand a chance against the ponies due to pony magical ability compared to the deer.
10619148
Getting that same kind of a feel here too. If you for example worship a sun for a long time, then you hear your neighbour controls it "just like that", it might ruin a world view pretty badly in many ways.
And it seems, even in the show, that almost every place outside Equestrias "bubble" is a crap-hole of some level. And they all weirdly need a pony-intervention to "fix things".
Celestia: "Everything is great and in Harmony for everyone! As long they follow our ways and ideologies..."
Twilight: "What?"
Celestia: "What?"
That just came up in my head for some reason.
And yet this is STILL better than the deer in the comics.
Also that map really needs to be updated, this is like the second or third time its projection doesn't match reality?
10618952
10618995
10619071
*Laughs in rural American*
I assume that meme came from the cities. I've only ever met a handful of people who even vaguely meet that stereotype, and most of them were gen-X transplants from wealthy cities or McMansion-style suburbs.
Please stop moving out here. We don't want your memes to become our reality.
10619738
Lol I’m SoCal born and raised, and while most people out here do love avocados and guacamole, and I have seen avocado toast on menus, I’ve yet to actually ever seen any of my friends eat it.
10619759
It's not hard to imagine why, avocados literally taste like nothing at all. I can understand guacamole, since avocodos make a good structural base for sauces, but anything else just seems redundant.
10619781
Did you know humans are the only animals that can eat avocados? If any other animal eats it, they die shortly afterwards, at least that's what I've read.
10619791
Just looked it up, and wow. Apparently the reason avocados are poisonous to animals is because they have persin (which, ironically, is good for us). The actual lethality of it varies from one species to the next, but it can cause all kinds of horrible things in animals that eat it, ranging from mammary-related problems, heart failure, necrosis, and more, to depression and agitation specifically in birds for some reason.
Incidentally, that could make for some good humor in an HiE: the human flexing on everyone else by eating things that noone else can.
10619821
10619791
Fun fact about this,
A long time ago, I was going to write a story called; Anon Gives Twilight Avacado Toast, the idea being that it is poisonous to Twilight and gives her really bad food poisoning
I ended up not writing it caused the meme died and I never could think of a way to make it not cringy XD
Seem kinda entitled that Twilight just says they HAVE to let them in. Makes it seem like they they didn't they'd just break in or incessantly try things. And hopefully this doesn't go like Griffonstone, I always hated how RD and Pinkie just waltzed in and magically solved everything, especially with how Gilda had been treated before.
10619738
Same, affluent teens suck.
Well shit.
This is sadly a thing I could believe happen.
10630577
Same here. One does not recover so easily when an entire world view is crushed like that (even though it was unintentional from the ponies), and then cracked up even more later on. Yes there are ways to recover, but it feels like that "magic of Friendship" might not be it this time. It seems to be kinda the cause of the problem this time in a way...
Dang I predicted correctly
10630711
Indeed, you must be psychic XD
10630770
well I mean if I met a race that proved everything I believed wrong I would be crushed
still gonna be kinda crushing, cause they are gonma be saved by ponies wether they like it or not
Oh, deer.
You had my curiosity, now you have my interest.
I’m sure a bunch of Equine macguffins one of which wielded untold magical power at the age of five, while the other could break the sound barrier with ease, will make Forrester see that Ponies aren’t all that better than deers.
Durrs!
Whoa, this chapter really explained my inquiries on what was going on. I can't wait for you to drop a new chapter. As I said, I love this story!
Oh deer, they do be depres
Recently, I noticed that in many stories any philosophy plays a role, something is bad. The role of the villain. Like, the ancient philosophy of Nietzsche took possession of the character's mind and everyone suffers from this, something like that. But philosophy can play a positive role in history, read here https://eduzaurus.com/free-essay-samples/philosophy/ for excellent examples of how Darwinism and even Marxism are being introduced into history. And they don't make a horror or utopia out of it.
I miss this one
10630826
10630667
I don't know, I think the deers should have declared a war to rid the ponies from the world, to fix the balance.
Ponies clearly bypass, destroy the balance of the universe with makes everyone else but them to take the punishment when the world decides to retaliate.
Most of the problems everyone has to deal with are made by ponies' mistakes and even sometimes successes .
At least humans would do something like that.
Kill or be killed
10872785
Well, without the magic horses, who will keep the sun and moon moving?
10894875
The world once lived without them, which means it can exist without them now too.
All they have to do is just find a way.Be it nature,magical or machine way
Even in the war, Celestia and Luna won't be able to use the sun and moon against them because the ponies and other races would be in crossfire
Any new updates? This is a fantastic thing to read. Very in depth.
Oh my god, you had me hooked at,
I'm listening to this right now.
“Hundreds of years,” Reflection muttered, enjoying the scratching. “That’s a lot of porn.” - Dropbear
Maybe this is part of their whole doom and gloom but this is not correct right? Every monster and animal has some magic in the because I don't think that science alone can explain why something could need more than one head like a hydra or a quimera, griffons have the same magic as pegasy, dragon have their own to fly, grow wings out of nowhere, spit flames ,send messages and any other crazy thing they can do, even changeling drones are mini alicorns and all those creatures and more need magic to make entire civilizations with hoofs and no opposable thumbs.
Did the deers not know about magic before encountering the ponies? Because that would be like a civilization not knowing about water with how ever present magic is.
But besides my nitpicking I really like the story and I hope we see an update soon.
11098916
The sending message thing was only because Twilight cast a spell on Spike, canonically. No other dragons can do that kinda thing lol.
And the thing about Deer in this setting, is that they live in an isolated corner of the world without magic, as most forms of magic, even natural magic, never pass the Temple Mountains, and as such the Deer evolved 100% magic free.
And as for an update to this story, I spent so much on making chapters 1 and 2 as detailed and long as I could that I have literally 0 idea of to continue this story on the same level of quality and length as the last two for the next chapters XD
11098952
In my defense of the Spike thing every single other fanfic decides to ignore that and give the message sending ability to all dragons so I thought that was canon and all of them had it XD.
But 100% magic free ? No wonder their worldview got so molested, although the little nitpicker inside me wants to find some way for them to have found magic before even if they just relegate it to their myths and legends, that would have …. cushion the blow a little bit.
And I see how making a new chapter for this story would be hard lol, the description of the deer land really is wonderful and I imagine it is really time consuming to make and the subject of the story can't be just solved with a hug and the elements of harmony (not yet at least). I suppose that after the meeting with the Prince they will try to find someone, anyone, that still cares about solving the problem and maybe find out how could a totally magic deprive species exist to begin with and if there is any way to connect them to the world and its magic but I guess it could never be as simple as that.
Also I find the idea that their god is real and actual lives on the moon both hilarious and sad, he was the only company Nightmare Moon had in her exile and the only thing it did was lament the fact that his chosen species decided to settle in the only gods forsaken place in the world without magic so now it cant reach them and they cant reach him either. Maybe by the end of the fic it descends on the world to say to its children that their wait is over and a world of joy and madness waits for them on the outside.
technology is the antithesis of magic, you can create a second sun with it, no alicorn can control this without melting in radiation
i.ytimg.com/vi/4R7pZOAWQrk/maxresdefault.jpg
11099009
maybe if they go the way of technology they'll realize they can be as powerful as ponies. with greater production power, superior weaponry, and the ability to meet your god on your own ground by colonizing the moon
11241308
I doubt a gun can do anything against a magically created tornado ripping through your city.
Or a giant monster godzilla-sized creature being controlled by magic.
Or Celestia just deciding 'lol I'm not gonna move the sun anymore if they are gonna be pricks. Good luck when the planet gets scorched of all life because it's now tidally locked.'
11241337
i think if they have a radio frequency haarp capable of controlling the ionosphere, yes they can control the weather.
something equivalent to godzilla like that golem can be destroyed with tungsten projectiles, kinetic or high explosive, hellfire missiles would take care of that and even if they fail, hypersonic missiles would accomplish their goal of penetrating, even the kinetic force would be so much that I doubt even something supernatural would prevent that knowing that even their magic has certain limitations. about her giving up the sun it is unlikely she would condemn a planet including her own species just to defend her pride and ensure some suicidal supremacy of her race.
I'm still interested!
Good job ponies. You just showed how the deer suck even more.
Well hey, at least you came back to it, which is still more than most authors seem to do after not updating for a long time
I’m glad that you were able to return to this story and I hope you have fun to continue this story
Or, yknow, fucking leave
Good job on reinforcing the point that you're better, Twilight. Congratulations.
*clap… clap… clap…* Way to go Twiggles and comppany. Now they will definitely accept your magical-pony-help with a smile… Sarcasm… Deercasm?
Keep it up. Really legit wanting to see what our pony trio will try next? Maybe one of them spontanius personal-space invading musical numbers?