Unconventional Paneling

by FanOfMostEverything

Don't Forget the Lyrics: Seriously, Don't

Twilight looked over the newest building in Ponyville, one with much sleeker construction than the usual wattle-and-daub look of most of the town's buildings. The lights and other electromantic features demanded a power transmission coil discretely worked into the building itself, receiving directly from the town dam. All-weather speakers played strains of eerily familiar music at almost subliminal volumes. All told, it wouldn't have looked out of place in the cooler outer neighborhoods of Manehattan.

"I'm really not sure about this." Twilight turned to the proprietor of the establishment, rolled her eyes, and lifted the mare's headphones. "I said I'm not sure about this."

Vinyl Scratch snorted and tried to pry her headphones out of Twilight's grip. After the telekinetic equivalent of a baby breezie trying to pry open a minotaur weightlifter's fingers, she grumbled, "Rude. Besides, what are you so worried about?" Her expression lightened as she smacked Twilight on the withers. "Couldn't have done this without you."

"This wasn't what I had in mind when I published my theory of applied magical harmonics."

Vinyl shrugged. "Hey, 'applied's right there in the name. What did you think ponies were going to do with it?"

Twilight's wings flared in agitation as she started pacing. "I don't know! Power sources dervied from the active use of the Elements of Harmony? Advanced pacification arrays? Something that isn't a heartsong karaoke parlor?"

Vinyl shook her head. "Sheesh. Genius is never appreciated in its own time. Can I have my phones back now or what?"

"Here," Twilight grunted, all but tossing them at the other mare. "I just don't understand how you set this up so quickly. I only heard about the idea today."

"Dude, it's Ponyville. I got the construction company that built your friendship school. Those guys have gotten so much practice, they could make a high-rise in a week." Vinyl set her headphones back in their accustomed place, but didn't cover her ears yet. "And it's not like the risk is that high. You're making this sound like the fish market on Dagon Street or something."

Twilight's mouth worked silently for a few moments. "Ponyville doesn't have a fish market. Or a Dagon Street."

"Oh yeah, guess that one was a bit before your time."

"What kind of risk does this place present?"

"Oh, you know." Vinyl bobed her head back and forth. "The usual deal with singing songs sung by the dead. Teensy chance you'll call 'em back through soul resonance. You should know; you wrote the article."

"What!?" Twilight shrieked. "I thought you were just using the applied harmonics to supersaturate an area to force heartsongs. You're calling back old ones!?"

"Sure. Haven't you ever wished you could go back and sing one of your old numbers?"

"Yes, but not to sing something that constitutes a necromantic ritual!"

"Relax," Vinyl said with a wave of a hoof. "What's the worst that could happen?"

A mare ran screaming from the karaoke parlor, chased by a scowling cream-coated specter whose curling orange locks writhed in the ethereal wake of her own passage. "Ya call up the song I sang t' my husband on the day he proposed an' ya ain't even got th' decency to sing along!?"

"I didn't know the words!"

Twilight and Vinyl watched the ghost of Pear Butter pursue the unfortunate for a few moments more before Vinyl said, "Okay, yeah, I kinda walked into that one."

Author's Note:

This was a fun one. Songs from the show and the fandom would play, and eveyone would sing along... until everything went silent and it was up to the person at the mike to keep going. Some nailed it. Some flubbed it. And in the case of "You're in My Head Like a Catchy Song," the fellow at the mike blanked, only to be all but shoved out of the way by a Pear Butter cosplayer who took over for him. I couldn't ask for better inspiration.

Comments

[superfun]

Now I wish I had had the time to make it to that panel, but I had other stuff going on.

[Admiral Biscuit]

I know all about those typewriters. I brought them for ROBCakeran53 (he wrote Last Stop, Equestria, you know) and we just unloaded them at his house tonight. All 2,000 pounds of them.

[Lurks-no-More]

Vinyl is just the right pony to recklessly (ab)use advanced thaumatechnical developments in ways never imagined by more sober individuals.

[FanOfMostEverything]

9088420
I appreciate both of your efforts. Hope to see them (and you) again next year!

9088738
Sobriety is the enemy of progress.

[BleedingRaindrops]

9088420
Please bring those next year. I was unable to attend this year and it has been so long since I've had the chance to type on a real metal typewriter that slides and goes *ding*

[Fuzzyfurvert]

B E A N S ?
E
A
N
S
?

[FanOfMostEverything]

9089653
This collection does not contain beans in any configuration or orientation.

[Fuzzyfurvert]

9089706
dang

[Admiral Biscuit]

9089481
We’ll be bringing them again. It’s lots of fun listening to the typewriters go, and a good experience for younger writers, too.

[howard035]

"And it's not like the risk is that high. You're making this sound like the fish market on Dagon Street or something."

Poor Mr. Hong.

[superfun]

Is this "complete" complete, or just "complete" until this year's BronyCon?

[FanOfMostEverything]

9564917
Complete-complete. Anything I type up this year will go in a new anthology, much like how these shorts didn't go into Unconventional Methods.

[superfun]

9565192
That's what I figured.
I just wanted to be sure

[Level Dasher]

I came to read these before starting this years collection. If they're as good as these (if not better because you've likely improved) then I'm in for more great laughs!