• Member Since 21st Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

StormLuna


Princess Luna is the best princess and Nightmare Moon is the best queen.

T

Twilight has just been crowned as a princess but is unsure of what her role will be. On top of that, she is hiding a secret that she is scared to admit to anypony, even the one that it would affect the most.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 11 )

This is a cute story. This isn't my favorite ship but I was fine with it.

9009819

Thanks, I really enjoyed writing this one.

Awwww, very precious interactions that are always bound to happen with these two and you captured it nicely. Super cuteeee.
Always love seeing new TwiShy fics, always makes me smile and gush, ahhhhh, love it

9014367

Thanks, I do enjoy this ship and interactions between these two in ship fics. I know a lot of people like shipping Shy with Rainbow but I think either Twilight or Rarity make for much better stories.

9014676
Yes FlutterDash is quite popular, though I admit that I find cuteness in the enjoyment in smaller, less known ships such as TwiShy and many others heh. Yess, Rarity or Twi work well with Fluttershy the most, I feel. Once again, love the cuteness in this ahhh, continue making adorable fics of shipping like this

9015251

I like RariShy because of the elegance you can throw in there and I like TwiShy just because I think they're cute together. Not a fan of shipping Dash in general, her and AJ are simply too much of tomboys for me to care to ship....when it comes to the younger ponies, I feel the same way about AB and Scootaloo, too much of tomboys for me to want to ship.

9015609
Oh yes! I don't read as much RariShy as I could but from what I've seen their dynamic is just sooo fitting with the grace that they have and the more informed of society they are, and if not, then they reflect that off of each other and it can be very cute as well! Ahhh and I see what you mean when towards Aj & Dash shippings, I've never put too much thought into those but I personally am ok with them as long as there's no interference with TwiShy heh

9015819

I see what you mean when towards Aj & Dash shippings, I've never put too much thought into those but I personally am ok with them as long as there's no interference with TwiShy heh

I can deal with ships involving them but I certainly wouldn't write any myself. Fluttershy is one of those sweet characters that I think is perfect for romance. I wrote one called "Fluttershy's First Date" where her and Colgate start dating because she couldn't afford her bill and Colgate gave her the option of either pay up or go out to supper with her. Obviously she chose the latter and love bloomed.

Now I'm working on a sequel that takes place six months later where Colgate is head over heels in love with her and plans on asking her "the big question"

Alright... I'm not hating this story so far, but there are some annoying errors right off the bat. Here: "Twilight gave them a weak smile before leaning her head back against her seat and closed her eyes." That should be "closing", in keeping with the sentence structure.

Next: 'Rainbow groaned, "Tell me about it and I wasn't even the one who had to go through a fancy coronation."' The problem with this is that I cannot imagine Rainbow Dash (or anyone, really) saying this in one breath. I'd write it as two sentences: "Tell me about it! And I wasn't even the one who had to go through a fancy coronation!"

This one isn't an error, but I want to show you something. "As she sat there, there were plenty of thoughts running through her mind, some that were good and some that were troubling her." You can remove that "her" from the end of the sentence, with no ill effect. It's good to cut out unnecessary words. You can sometimes figure out what's unnecessary just by rereading your story. Actually, now that I think about it, you might also have a comma splice in this sentence, but that's not really that big of a deal.

Good story. I enjoyed reading it. The only thing is, I think the dialogue is a tad awkward and could use a bit of touch-up. Maybe try saying it aloud just to see if it sounds like something someone would actually say. I'm also a bit confused as to whether this is human or pony Twilight and Fluttershy, because you mention both a horn and hands... Well, I realize I'm criticizing a story from 2018, and you're probably already a better writer, but I still hope this helps a bit.

Personally, I like this ship (at the very least, I like it better than any alternatives). And I think if you look at the show, many events can be interpreted (or perhaps it more apt to say willfully misinterpreted) to support it. For instance, in the first episode, why is Fluttershy introduced after Rarity, whom Spike develops a crush on? And doesn't it seem like Twilight is annoyed by how much attention Fluttershy gives Spike? And most importantly, why are they teamed up so often?! Anyway, glad to see there are some fanfictions for it.

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