• Member Since 24th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Tuesday

Bronyxy


Pony fan inspired by great writers such as Pen Stroke and Conner Cogwork

T

Nyx is learning magic and flying under the best tutors in Equestria, but something keeps going wrong with her magic. It is soon clear that a dark force is at work and all the alicorns in the ruling quadrature have to reconcile their own fractured relationships in pulling together to save Nyx and Equestria.

This fic takes place some time after the end of Past Sins, drawing upon the characters and relationships established by the excellent Pen Stroke.

Please note this short story is not a sequel, but a spin-off starring Nyx, the lovable alicorn filly adopted by Twilight Sparkle.

There is some ‘T’ rated gore in Chapter 6. Clear instructions are provided explaining how to skip past this passage for readers who do not wish to see it, and an ‘E’ rated summary is provided so that these readers do not miss out on the storyline.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 36 )

Luna caught her eyeline and quipped "Nightmare Sparkle, perhaps?" The dark humour caught her off guard and she flustered for a moment until she cottoned on . "Yes Luna, I sentence everypony to eternal cross-referencing within my infinite library!" she joked back. "A quite horrifying prospect" commented Luna, a wry smile starting to form on her face "Eternal Night seems a much less frightening concept by comparison, I think." They shared a smile that reflected their trust, their love, but above all, their friendship.

LOLPTCD!

“If you could all move away from your … um … orange, then I’ll have a go reversing the transfiguration spell” said Twilight. “It had better work, young lady, or we’ll sue you through every court in Equestria!” chipped in Spoiled Rich. “If you're not all completely quiet, I cannot guarantee the outcome” said Twilight staring straight at the older mare “So unless you want to see her turned permanently into something more useful, like a toilet plunger , I suggest you hold your tongue.” “Well! How rude! ” she added with an excess of theatrical hubris. “Come on now, give the lady space to work” said her husband, eager to see his daughter back safely. “Hardly think she qualifies on that score …” muttered the old mare as she turned away.

SOMEPONY got a 3rd degree burn.

8885527
This stick may not be quite as innocent as it seems - read on!

:twilightsmile:

8885542
"Aaaarghhh!" screams echo through an infinite library ...

:twilightsmile:

8885568
Toilet plungers can be quite useful ...

:twilightsmile:

8885581
How come there's no romance tag? I mean there is romance

8885603
Thanks - you make a good point.
It's always a problem which tags to apply and which to leave off, given that there can only be a maximum of three.
Much as I like the romance (TwiLuna is a great ship!) , it's there in this story to highlight the bond between the two Princesses and significantly through that their commitment to Nyx, rather than to be an end in itself. If I could have had a fourth tag, I would have added it.

MJP

a Nyx story in 2018? did Wallflower blush wipe your memories too?

8888932
Thank you - I put a lot into this story and I'm really pleased that you like it!

:ajsmug::yay::pinkiehappy::raritywink::twilightsmile::rainbowlaugh:

MJP

8889575
i mean people are over her character at this point, either they don't care or they realize she's a bad character in hindsight

I don't like the idea of Twilight being in love with Luna.

agreed. but then again i think its sweet that twilight cares for Luna like that it. think of it like this if twilight would have stayed with Celestia then the same "royal romance would have occurred. Celestia or Luna either way the author intended for it to happen

no gonna lie i cried. i liked how Celestia made up with everyone. I also glad how luna didn't use the third spell. Thank you

one question i have been having some problems being a brony. i can't take it anymore. i barely talk, i don't come out of my room, my parents say that being a brony is pointless because they don't think anyone else likes it. sometimes I feel like i just want to kill myself. i just want them to stop can anyone guide me? please i beg of anyones guidance.

8904489
Thanks for the insightful comment. I wanted to inject an element of romance as it reinforces bonds in ways that will become clearer as the drama unfolds. As Celestia was initially in favour of banishing Nyx for her time as Nightmare Moon in Past Sins, it was Luna who came up with the more elegant and humane “punishment” of returning her to being a foal, a solution that Twilight as her adoptive mother found eminently preferable. Given the prevailing differences between Celestia and Twilight, then Luna x Twilight is not too far-fetched.

Luna also makes a promise to look after Nyx like she was her own, which is something she would not be likely to do if there was no commitment to Twilight.

Fasten your seat belts – their love will be put to the test!

8904538
A true pleasure; thank you for your kind words. I enjoy writing stories and I am so glad when people like them. A lot of my stories have sad endings, but I wasn't going to let that happen this time!

8904543
All the pony protagonists have good characteristics – perhaps there’s one you relate to most?
For example, each of the Mane Six has a really positive personality trait reflected in their Element of Harmony. Why not rewatch the episodes and see how each of them has faced a difficult situation and see which approach calls to you?
For me it’s Princess Luna, the pony who did wrong but was forgiven and then worked really hard to fit in and be accepted again - I find her example inspirational.
I hope this helps.

You might want to throw a romancer shipping tag on that one. Just to let everypony know what there getting into.

Wait, WHAT? Where did THAT come from? That doesn't make any sense!?

8905236
I understand that, but you failed to set it up and build on it, therefore it doesn't make sense and it's completely out of the blue. In short, it falls flat on its own ass

I'm trying to wrap my head around what the hell happened. This story was going great until the Twi/Luna ship came out of nowhere and the who thing derailed. I'm so confused

8904543
Don't take the fandom so seriously, that's what I've learned. I have close to no interaction with the fandom unless it's through the comments on rare occasion, and when I'm writing fanfiction(which I was writing when I was still apart of the fandom but only write now because I just genuinely enjoy writing)

This will also help you interact with people who AREN'T in the fandom, like your parents. They're not going to care about the show, so don't bother

Interesting side story, my only critical concern is just the characterisation of Twilight and Celestia when compared to the ending of Past Sins. Twilight was more forgiving of Celestia (perhaps too forgiving given how the Princess allowed her paranoia to get the best of her). For Celestia's part, she was genuinely trying to repair the damage she did and mend the rift. Not so much at the beginning of this story.

Up until chapter 9 they feel cold, like a Game of Thrones seen where two people are having a polite conversation but with clear cloak and dagger undertones. Even Celestia is showing apprehension and suspicion when she should be re-earning Twilight's trust, not giving the latter more reason to keep her distance. It's like the two forget there exists a surrogate mother/daughter relationship between them, albeit somewhat strained. The following chapters shift gears on this, but the transition is awkward, especially when Celestia was all but trying to pick a fight the scene before.


Anyways, still interesting. I'm not trying to be too critical or bash your story, just pointing out your character development transitions could be improved upon to be smoother or more explained.

9209638
Thank you for your comment.

I wanted to build dramatic tension between the Princesses so as to exploit the powerplay between them and generate a platform from which reconciliation would become that much harder to achieve.

The passages from “Past Sins” I exploited to achieve this end are from Chapter 20: Judgement, just after the Royal Sisters have been returned to Equestria, in which Twilight says two key things to Celestia:
“I promised Nyx that I wasn’t going to let you take her away from me again, and I meant it.”
“You’re right. I honestly don’t want to forgive you for that night, but… I do forgive you.”
However, before the end of that chapter, Celestia has separated Nyx from Twilight once again, so she has failed in her promise, and the tentative forgiveness she extended to Celestia has to my mind been compromised.

Therefore, in “Nyx Returns”, when Twilight feels Celestia is about to embark upon separating them again, she is determined not to allow her to do it for a third time and acts precipitately out of maternal protectiveness. You are quite right in that at the end of “Past Sins”, Celestia believes everything to have been smoothed over and that is why in “Nyx Returns” she is caught so off guard the first time Twilight challenges her, and why the story develops the cloak and dagger undertones you righty identify. From this seemingly disastrous split, they all then have to pull together, with the developing romantic connection (not entirely unexpected given their common interests in magic and Nyx’s development) between Twilight and Luna. Anyway they all pull together in the end and Equestria is saved!

Thank you for showing so much interest in the backstory I have developed to make “Nyx Returns” happen. If you’re interested and want some more, please check out “Like Sister, Like Student” [https://www.fimfiction.net/story/418793/like-sister-like-student] that once again involves Nyx and the Princesses as they tackle a different set of challenges.

Holy guacamole...the feels in this chapter! :fluttercry:

Oh. My. Gosh.

I think my heart may have stopped at least six times during the last couple of chapters of this story...not to mention the dozen or more beats it skipped during the rest of the chapters.

Well done, Bronyxy!

Also, to the complainers about the Luna/Twi ship...it actually makes perfect sense. So...get over it!!!

9231411
You've really got to feel for Twilight as there's nothing she can do but watch as her heart breaks over and over again.
:raritycry:

9231467
Thank you for your kind words.
This story is special to me and I'm so pleased you liked it too!
:twilightsmile:

I can see there may be a sequal for this

9250119
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
There is no sequel planned, but I do enjoy working with these characters, so another story like this may follow before too long. Thank you for your support!

8894061

Then don't read. Exit's that way.

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