Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter twenty nine, Convention Tension: Unconventional Ditching.

-Jade-

Sure I was having a bout of whimsy by putting on the Cat’astrophe costume outside the comic, but I was still panicked that the Alicorn Amulet could be anywhere around here. It was kind of hard to enjoy the convention when there was this atmosphere of impending doom hanging around me just knowing that alone.

I was wound up and tense. Just waiting for a horseshoe to drop today or tomorrow. At the very least it’ll happen sometime real soon, the pony who had it would be driven insane and would go on a rampage.

“Wait, you can’t have tea or coffee because it’s poisonous to you?” The stallion annoying Fizzle had earned my attention, because he was annoying my lovely pony. “Well that’s a weak sauce weakness if I ever heard one, what kind of being would be weak to the most common substances that most ponies enjoy? Why I find the idea quite ludicrous, like how High Heel could be a functional villain when she shouldn’t even have the money to fund both her fashion empire and have all that high tech gear she uses. Why does she even have that high tech gear? She doesn’t seem like the kind of pony super villain that would be great at high end technology. She’s even mostly a toady for the Mane-iac anyway, which I find to be dumb because the Mane-iac actually has super powers, can create her own gear and has many minions of her own already…”

“Yes, this Quibble guy is bothering me a lot. I’m not even sure he realizes I’m not a big comic fanatic or is even paying attention to me saying that out loud. The only reason I’m here is for Maries and you Jade, because I want to enjoy this thing with both of you.” Yet you didn’t seem angry or outwardly upset with him Fizzy, also I liked the Hornitculture souvenir you bought for yourself. In fact you seemed pretty calm Fizzy, maybe even a little alarmingly so. “For some reason I can’t bring enough emotion around to care to run him off personally. In fact, I find my sudden ability to tolerate him highly annoying and wish I could hate that. This should be driving me insane, yet it isn’t. I find myself at a crossroads knowing what I should be feeling at this moment and what I am actually feeling is an unnerving amount of calm.”

Quibble didn’t seem to hear Fizzle, either that or he had selective hearing. He’s one of those guys wasn’t he? Liked to hear himself talk a little too much.

I sighed at Fizzle’s plight. I’d help her, but it’d require that I keep Quibble busy until I could dump him on a patsy. I looked around for one of those and saw the perfect pony to patsy this guy onto, actually… I couldn’t do this to some other poor pony and had a better idea.

First I needed to set my stage.

“Whatever you’re about to do, because I know your planning looks when I see them now, please tell me that it’ll involve wiring this guy’s jaw shut.” While that could be made to happen Fizzle, I wasn’t going to do that personally.

I turned to Quibble, who was still going on about High Heel, and thought about what I was about to do. I wouldn’t have to dirty my hands when rioting fans would do it for me. For I knew what should never be stated at a convention when it came to Power Pony fans, it would inevitably paint a target on this poor saps back.

Could I in fact say it with a clear conscience and live with myself afterwards? Could I possibly have a guilty conscience about it? I looked Fizzle’s beautiful eyes…. nope, what conscience? I don’t have one and lost it somewhere in my mare friends eyes.

“Did you know that Abyssinians can’t have too much chocolate either, it’s also poisonous to us!” Okay that was way too cheerful even for me and in the context I said it with, at least I had managed to make Quibble stop talking out of shock. Part two, attract attention with a statement that was so vile and caustic that it would anger just about any Power Ponies fan within listening range. “What’s that, you think Miss Marevelous is worse than Matter Horn?! How could you say such a thing, when you know the Matter Horn is the pony with the worst super power out of all of them, since she doesn’t actually have one!”

Quibble looked a little confused as to why I said that, then he noticed the silence throughout the area. Hundreds of ponies were now starring at Quibble, their eyes slowly turning into glares. I slowly backed away from him and towards Fizzle.

“When I say my next part, be prepared to run.” I whispered to my mare friend. “Don’t look back Fizzy, this won’t be pretty.”

“What did you just say to cause them all to go completely quiet like that?” You should be more worried than you sounded Fizzle. What kind of magical whammy were you on that prevented you from feeling frustration, much less the general loss of sanity that occurs in our daily lives? I wanted to know so I could use it myself at a later date.

“I’ll explain later Fizzle, just know the fandom has a quirk in it and every new being introduced to Power Ponies is told of this quirk in advance so as to not set someone off. I was told to never say something along those lines to someone if they are a Power Ponies fan.” I cleared my throat. “How could you say something like that, you know that Mistress Marevelous is objectively the better Power Pony! Fizzy… run…”

I turned and started making my way through the crowd before the ten second social bomb finished counting down. It didn’t take long, as Quibble was swamped under a raging tide of rioting Power Pony fans while he tried to explain himself and that he never said what I just said he said.

It was too late for the poor guy, a quick thinker he was not.

-Velvet-

“Seriously Jade?” I sighed out a fog of cold air as I saw what Jade was doing, Fizzle was being annoyed by a colt and then Jade did one of the most horrible things any Power Ponies fan could possibly do to another Power Ponies fan. “Couldn’t you have just scraped him off onto someone else?”

I made for a perfect Radiance with my costume! My ice shaping powers makes me a perfect living example of elegance and beauty that that particular Power Pony was, I could even emulate the characters powers down to a fine degree. Unfortunately Radiance was also a bit too full of herself at times and I at least tried not to have such an inflated ego that Arizona says I have.

Passing the buck like that was quite cruel, maybe even possibly warranted if the colt was annoying enough, but even that was a little bit much to do to the poor guy.

I believe Jade was doing it for a good cause as Fizzle notably wasn’t a connoisseur of the finer arts and looked to need a bail out. Still, Jade was probably the worst being Fizzle could have asked for a bail out in this situation.

The end results of this wouldn’t be pretty.

“Everyone knows that while Masked Matter Horn is the leader, she isn’t better than Mistress Marevelous and she doesn’t even technically have super powers!” Okay Arizona was getting rather riled up and even she may have fallen for Jade’s ploy, I just rolled my eyes as Arizona continued her tirade. “She’s just blatant unicorn superiority propaganda disguising itself as a super hero, she basically had a silver spoon shoved in her mouth and she’s miraculously a super hero without ever gaining actual super powers! Sure Humdrum doesn’t have super powers either, but at least he has heart, hard work and character! Humdrum even works alongside FIlli-Second who is canonically a detective and he’s just as good if not better at sniffing out criminal hideouts and crime!”

My beloved cow was about to join the riot and would possibly break a few ponies with her freakishly immense physical strength while wearing a Mistress Marevelous costume.

While it would be fitting to the character she’s dressed as, because Mistress Marevelous did have impossible super strength that could rival Saddle Rager as one of her powers, I had to put a stop to this.

Smacking Arizona harshly across the back of her head, I had acquired her attention.

“Jade just pulled a ‘pass the buck’ on that colt, don’t fall for it like everyone else is…. you idiot.” Stating that last part with a fine degree of self-control, I stared Arizona down until she realized that I was right and she was wrong.

“… Oh… I knew that…” No you were just as riled up as every other Power Ponies fan was about it Arizona, don’t try to save face with me. “Still want to join the riot anyway?”

“How crude of you Arizona… I instead suggest we stop it. By doing it Power Ponies style!” It would be much more fun to do it in style, why stopping this many ponies would require that we show we were all united by a common bond to everyone here. Now who could be our little voice of reason… ah, I see our humdrum already! Miss Coco Pommel looked absolutely cute in that costume. “I’ll of course be playing my role and you do have magic rope so…”

“It’s not a magic rope Velvet!” Glancing at Arizona for a long while, the nearby riot started to look like it was going to get violent. So far it was still in the screaming argument phase, we had to hurry this conversation along.

“Then where in the world do you keep pulling it from? There’s no room in that bandana of yours to actually contain a rope of that length or mass.” There was a long thoughtful pause as I stared at Arizona and she looked away not answering my curious gaze. The cow poked at her bandana looking for all the world like she was navel gazing or in thought about it. “It’s almost like it’s a super power with you, it’s quite comparable to what Mistress Marevelous does with her rope. Except instead of mentally controlling it, you can just pull it out whenever you need it and then put it back at any time. If I were to look, I wouldn’t find that rope under your bandana would I?”

“I don’t know how I do it, I just do, okay! It’s always been a bit weird to me too that I’ve never been without a rope my whole life.” Wait, is Arizona actually saying this has been something she’s been capable of for as long as she’s been alive? A cow with actual super powers, my beloved bovine? I was one to think, my ice shaping abilities were impossibly precise! “I practically have an infinite amount of it and nobody can figure out where I even keep pulling it all from!”

“Hey guys, are you okay?” We jumped when Miss Coco interjected herself into our lives, making us jump at the interruption. Fizzle introduced us to this young mare and we’ve been friends since.

“Of course we are Humdrum, but it looks like a riot is breaking out here. You can help us by reminding this community that we all feel a great love for the same thing here, we’ll make sure the worst rabble rousers don’t do a thing to harm you while you talk the crowd down!” I quickly snapped my hoof to Arizona. “Mistress Marevelous, hold back on your strength. These ponies need a gentle hoof!”

“Getting a bit into the role fluff butt? I’m game. Sure thing Radiance, I’ll back you up!” Arizona moved to hug Coco against herself. “Don’t worry Humdrum you’re power of the heart is going to be very helpful in stopping this forming riot!”

“Wait, what… oh no… I couldn’t!” Despite Coco’s obvious fear, she made for a good humdrum and knew what it was like to live here in Manehattan.

“But you simply must Humdrum, why think of all the injuries you can prevent on this fine day just by talking the crowd down!” I think I had poor Coco shaking a bit, I sighed and decided to ease up on the acting for a moment. “Look, just get out there and show some of you’re spirit as a Manehattan pony Coco! We’ll protect you with all that we have, we promise! Right Arizona?”

“Just watch them try and get by me.” We all set forth to put a stop to this riot, whether we succeeded or not would be up to Coco. We needed a Humdrum right now and she was it.

“Okay… I’ll try.” Turning to the huge crowd, Coco gulped. “Um, excuse me… everyone…”

Deciding to help this process along I started to swiftly swing my hooves rapidly until a humongous megaphone made of ice appeared before us. Coco seemed a little intimidated by this, but it would certainly hasten things.

“Hey, everyone! A local Humdrum wishes to speak with you!” The crowd stopped complaining around the cowering colt and turned to us, I flicked my hoof and my megaphone disappeared. I took a bow as I created two giant pillars with arrows of ice pointing towards Coco with the subtlest of movements. “Go ahead Humdrum, show them your heart and talk them down!”

“Look… I know everyone is angry and I think I could be angry too if someone had an unpopular opinion about something I love, but we’re all gathered here today to celebrate something we all love together. Comic books, fantasy stories that we all enjoy in our own ways!” That was good, keep going Coco! We were right behind you and we’d glare down any dissenters. “We all love our characters and our respective comic books, we all came here to enjoy said shared love together. Why must anger come into it? Can’t we all just hug it out and enjoy this convention together?”

“Humdrum’s right, let’s just calm down and do what we came here to do, enjoy this convention!” An alicorn that could only be Cadence came forward to lend us some assistance. “Let me remind you all of the love you feel, don’t let one moment sour everything that brought us all here!”

-Jade-

“See Fizzle, nothing went horribly wrong and the riot didn’t get too bad. Though Cadence stepping in was an unexpected surprise.” I turned to Maries approaching us with a blue ribbon on her chest. “What prize did you win?”

“First prize for best costume at the convention apparently.” They weren’t even wearing one, I’m sure Maries was quite aware of this fact as they looked quite bemused that they won. Mara followed up. “We’re wearing a perfect Tri-mera costume… also we don’t think any of the ponies here realize we’re a real and actual chimera. We got a nice prize out of it that we’ll show off later.”

I snorted and started laughing, I wonder what they won?

“Sign-ups for the next Power Ponies quiz off over here!” I turned to the pony.

Guess I was finally loosening up, I wanted to join that!

Author's Note:

Yeah, the first three chapters of the year were all posted at the same time. They definitely weren't written at the same time.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Singalong a fan.

At The Convention.

Fry that Qubble Pants?

Im suprised with the Gods making a Party that Pinkie didnt pop round with a few snacks. Would explain how Quibble Pants suddenly was in Ponyville with no train fare.

Were or were can the amulet be. Must be a slow burn otherwise all Jade would have to do is follow the screaming and red beams?

[Luster Wellwisher]

Hello Hello Hello Hello Is anyone here here here here