Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter Three, Parties, Pukwudgies and Pirates: The dangerous scenario.

-Jade-

I admit that threatening Zephyr might have been much, but it was one of the best ways to get him to leave me alone. Fluttershy had just sighed from off to the side at my actions towards her brother, as if I weren’t the first one to turn him down that harshly. We got along well enough after that, thankfully Rainbow couldn’t make the same threat. Speaking of threat, the town was being raided by pukwudgies with a highland motif this fine late evening.

The party had been enjoyable, I even really liked smacking the piñata around. It was like a bouncy yarn ball. Now wasn’t the time to party however.

The crossbows on wheels with the poison arrows needed to be dealt with. The fires they were starting needed to be put out. The pukwudgies with the face paint down the street needed to lose their spears and swords before they hurt someone important to me. The most important thing that needed to be done was to find the leader behind this whole assault and deal with them in a way that wouldn’t upset a single pony‘s delicate sensibilities. I’d prefer to not to have to deal with this, but if they came our way I would protect my friends.

Okay examining the ponies on the ground not moving, they were still breathing and they weren’t bleeding. The pukwudgies were even ignoring them, why weren’t they getting up and running away then? Did they get nicked by arrows and were paralyzed?

I backed away from the dangerous mutant and possibly magical hedgehogs towards the entrance and mom put a hand on my shoulder. I looked at her worriedly and she gave me a brave smile.

“What do you have on you at the moment?” Okay, working with mom I’d be able to protect Sugar Cube Corner at least.

“Knife, sheath for it, fish scale necklace, four phoenix feathers, my clothes, my pack and various bits of dried fruit I’ve been saving for emergencies if I ever got lost. I left anything else back in my room in The Witch’s Fare.” Now that I thought of it, I could have been more threatening to Zephyr if I pulled my knife. No… that would have been too much for the colt, my claws were the better…

Mom grabbed me and pulled me roughly out of the path of several arrows that hit the door behind me solidly.

“Jade, please stop zoning out and give me some info on our little rodent problem here.” Oh right, I had to tell my mother what we were dealing with instead of… mom just pulled me inside and several more arrows punctured the door. “I wouldn’t go out there! It seems the town is under attack and some houses are being set on fire.”

Fluttershy’s parents cowered, Zephyr seemed a little less lazy and was starting to resemble his quiet parents and Fluttershy wasn’t happy with the sudden change in mood. Rainbow looked like she wanted to get into a fight, Windy and Bow were surprisingly taking the prudent action of taking cover.

The door seemed to be holding up, so standing behind it was safe for the time being. Another thunderous crunch noise made me and mom put some distance from it and the new arrow head sticking through it a few good inches. At least they had a limited rate of fire. It took them a while to draw back the small crossbow ballistae and even load them, but they were well protected by their numbers.

“Okay, pukwudgies are aggressive and intelligent, they like setting things on fire and can fire the spines off of their backs. The arrows are probably loaded with a paralytics, though I haven’t seen someone get injured by them yet. So at this point it’s just a supposition and I wouldn’t put it past them to have their spines coated in something equally dangerous as well.” I looked to Rainbow Dash looking out the window before she was pulled down by her parents who held her tightly between themselves. “It wouldn’t be wise to chase them if you’ve got them on the run. They are really good at laying traps for the unwary that follow after them, which definitely means keeping Rainbow out of being involved in any of this. I’ve got no ideas of how we’re going to deal with an army of that size.”

“Well we got to do something, those party poopers are being big meanies for being so small!” I was right there with you preteen Pinkie, we had to do something before they thought setting Sugar Cube Corner or any other nearby buildings on fire was a good idea.

At least Ponyville’s current weather team were already in the process of getting rain clouds to put out the fires, the pukwudgies were probably setting the fires to stop them from interfering in the raid. They certainly seemed to have plenty of ammunition to deal with unicorns and earth ponies, but they had nothing to stop lightning attacks from a well-trained weather pegasus.

“No… get away!” I moved to the window that Rainbow’s parents were ducked under and looked outside, there was a unicorn stallion on his back scrabbling away from something around the street corner. After a moment the pony’s eyes widened and he froze up.

He was still breathing, but he ceased scrambling for safety and like the other ponies laying in the street and just flopped onto his back unmoving.

A deranged clucking noise was heard and from around the corner came a small nightmare that I was afraid to go near. Said problem had a rider that was a larger than normal grey pukwudgie with an ugly kilt and malevolent purple eyes. The problem the pukwudgie was riding was a one eyed cockatrice that was wearing an eyepatch over its left eye, it even had a really cool scar across its beak.

The leading pukwudgie swung its tiny sword forward in our general direction. It growled loudly while waving the sword at the various other pukwudgies.

“I think that’s the leader, we have to deal with him to stop this attack or at least get them to retreat from town.” When the pukwudgie grabbed and pulled at its comb, I watched the cockatrice spread its wings, let out a crow and started to scratch at the ground with its feet. It was pointed towards the building we were all sequestered in.

“That explains the paralyzed ponies at least, let’s just not get hit by the arrows if they are more dangerous than being paralyzed by a one eyed cockatrice.” I knew why the ponies weren’t getting up now. “With only one eye a cockatrice can only paralyze prey or predators, at least it can’t turn anyone to stone.”

“Why are they focusing on the bakery?” Good question Fluttershy, let me answer it while they were forming up to march on us. Spine shooters first, followed by weapon wielders and the crossbow ballistae in the back.

“They’re likely here to steal food and I think the leader of that war band has a sweet tooth.” I could be wrong, but that pukwudgie definitely seemed focused on the Cakes bakery. His tongue was even sliding around the edges of his mouth in the manner that meant he was hungry.

“Well we have to do something, we just can’t let them take our livelihood!” I looked to Mr. and Mrs. Cake and then the few ponies cowering around the room, the only exception seemed to be Fizzle who had a calculating look.

“So if we got rid of the leader they would run?” Please don’t tell me you have an idea Fizzle, ideas tend to get people hurt. I wasn’t a hero, neither were you for that matter.

My mother and I are not some super powered saviors or people who can run straight into a wall of arrows and miraculously survive it. I also didn’t want my mom to get injured in this fracas, because I knew good and well that she’d put up a fight. Magical alchemy could do a lot, but we didn’t have the right stuff for a long fight.

“Well yes, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to give chase to them when they do start running. Even without their leader commanding them, they’d still be dangerous to give chase to if we manage to push them back.” Several more arrows impacted the bakery and they shattered the window to my right. “We’d have to disable the cockatrice first if we want to even get at their leader.”

“Well do something soon, because they’re getting another round ready.” Windy Whistles the mare with the short red hair with the oranges streaks glared over her shoulder out the window at the pukwudgies as she held her husband Bow and daughter Rainbow close to her.

“Would something reflective work?” I’m surprised that it didn’t take more than a second for Fizzle to think up a simple means to stop the cockatrice.

“Provided you could even get close enough to reflect its gaze back onto itself, the wheeled crossbows are covering that and I don’t want to find out what those arrows are coated in.” The leader was pretty bright, anyone that could cause him trouble had to deal with his mount. Anyone that could deal with his mount would be attacked by the artillery. All bases covered pretty well with several other pukwudgies running around starting fires. “We need some pegasi in the air to use lightning bolts on their crossbows, then we’ll be open to dealing with their ground troops. Isn’t there a back door to this place?”

“I’m not abandoning our home!” Mr. Cake looked irate that I would even suggest that, which I wasn’t.

“Get a mirror!” Fizzle shouted to Mrs. Cake, the blue furred mare quickly started up the stairs to find something.

“That’s not what I want you to do Mr. Cake.” Did I seriously have to be the one to point this out? “We have pegasi here and they can go to get help, we need you guys to get airborne and to find someone that the weather team can spare to use some lightning bolts on those wheeled crossbows before we can really start fighting back. We’ll hold them off here, though I hope you don’t mind if we use your baked goods as ammunition.”

Rainbow’s family moved away from the window and towards the back after Fluttershy’s family. Several pukwudgies spines started pelting the floor at their heels as they made for the back door.

“Works for me, if they want something sweet then we’ll give them something sweet!” Pinkie moved up to the window with a large cupcake platter and started tossing cupcake at the pukwudgies. There was a grunt of aggravation as I heard the sounded of a cupcake splattering against one of the spiny nuisances. “Return fire, we’ll barrage them with cupcakes!”

The marching pukwudgies were getting closer as Mr. Cake was getting the two pegasi families out the back. We covered their escape with thrown cupcakes and hoped help would return in time.

I know I suggested it, but why do ponies almost always immediately agree to use thrown pastries as weapons when it’s brought up?

-Fluttershy-

We were able to safely get away, but looking back towards the ground almost made my wings lock up, there were an awful lot of pukwudgies attacking the bakery. I hope my friends would be safe.

-Fizzle-

I felt something brushing across my face and I reeled back from the window in shock still holding a cupcake.

Okay that arrow almost got the hood on the cloak… and my face. They were scarily accurate with those crossbows. I threw a cupcake out and splattered one of the pukwudgies that were backing towards the bakery and firing their spines in volleys, at least the pastry knocked a few of them down.

“Pinkie get us some water, we’re going to need it after this!” I watched as Jade and her mother crawl up to the window and then inhaled sharply while covering their faces, what were they about to do?

The two crouching Abyssinians angled their ears and then fired several powerful bursts of water from them, it was rather bizarre to watch in action.

I looked out the window as the water exploded in a series of concussive hits that struck the spine firing formation coming towards us and even hit the pukwudgies behind them. The weapon wielding formation was still mostly standing, but the spine shooters were mostly down.

The cockatrice riding pukwudgie was organizing the weapon wielders for a full on charge, all those tiny spears, swords and clubs wouldn’t be pleasant to face up close.

“I got the mirror!” Mrs. Cake, the swirly haired mare with the raspberry mane came down the stairs with a round compact, just what I needed to deal with the cockatrice. Now we just needed those crossbows out of the way.

“I really don’t like doing that, my poor ears.” While I listened to Jade’s whining and she was getting a glass from Pinkie, I watched the pukwudgies forming up for a charge and… was that a battering ram?

Where in the world did that come from? Did they just build it or did it just arrive? It certainly wasn’t there a second ago.

“I know how you feel right now my little tom cat.” Kuril was also complaining and was rubbing her ears vigorously before she received her own glass of water, I don’t think they could do that again so soon. It literally took a lot out of them. “That really stings, at least I know my ear wax is cleared up.”

An arrow went through the door and nearly hit Mrs. Cake and sunk into the counter, she fumbled with the mirror and caught it. I made my way over to her while avoiding several arrows flying through the broken window.

“Here you go, if you can’t get it back to me then that’ll be okay.” After giving me the mirror Mrs. Cake quickly proceeded behind the counter where her husband held her close. I just looked at how close the two were for a moment, before returning to the broken window.

“Okay there’s an armored battering ram now.” Flatly delivered Jade. “Where in the world did that even come from, this is completely ridiculous!”

What could we do aside from abandoning the bakery? I certainly wasn’t going to brave those wheeled crossbows. Wait… didn’t this cloak make you stealthier on its own after it was used as a magical alchemy sustain once? Even I could use the self-sustain effect since I didn’t have to do anything special to activate it, but I wasn’t going out there until those crossbows were gone.

“So, what can we do now?” I looked out the window and saw several cupcakes coming from above and they landed in front of the battering ram and on the wheels stopping them up. The crossbows were turned upwards and fired, a squeaking noise was heard and the two Cakes gasped.

“Pinkie Pie!” The two bakery owners made their way upstairs to make sure Pinkie was okay.

-Jade-

“Okay, time to do something drastic!” If they were willing to aim lethal implements at Pinkie, then I was going to do something dumb to stop them. “I know this might do something odd, but we were running out of cupcakes anyway.”

I cast with a cupcake.

Author's Note:

(New Alchemy Ingredient!)

10. Cupcake (Yes, seriously).

Cast: ???.

Sustain: Likely none.

Self-Sustain: Delicious.

Comments

[Sigmacipher]

Well this is going to be interesting.

[theoldhunter]

yes a cupcake truly the overpowered alchemy ingredient ever

[ThatBadGuy]

Ah I see where you are going.

LEEEEROOOY MEOW-KINSSSS!

[Dashie04]

That cupcake’s gonna be a lethal joke item, I’m calling it now!