Chapter Seventy Four, Honey Moon’d: New.
-The day after arrival, Las Pegasus, Morning, Hotel Room, Jade-
Something was hitting my eyelids, it felt like sunlight.
“Go away sun, I’m trying to sleep.” The sunlight became brighter in response. “I’ll do sun salutations later... I'm so tired.”
I rolled away from the sunlight and sighed, then sunlight seemed to be hitting my eyelids with an even greater intensity as if it were being bounced off a mirror.
“You do realize that Abyssinians like sleeping in the warmth of your rays, but not when it wakes them up after the night I just had.” The sun neither cared nor listened, it even seemed to be almost fairly insistent that I get up. “Come on, don’t you have any pity in that big burning mass of gas you large sphere stuck in the middle of that big bluish black thing?”
“Jade, I don’t think we can win the battle with the circle of life this day.” Mara growled into my left ear, I felt Maries paw rub my belly making me mewl loudly. “The light is unusually focused on all of us at the moment. All our eyes have sunlight in them even at impossible angles, even with Maria’s face being buried in a pillow. Yes, the sunlight is even in her eyes all the same.”
“I wouldn’t say no to five more minutes, last night wiped us all out.” Maria murmured next. “Jade, can you get up to tell the sun that its priestess is not in working order today?”
“Speaking of moving, Fizzy is already up and out getting us all breakfast in bed.” Intoned Marie who I could feel had her faced buried in my neck. “She seemed particularly cheerful this morning.”
“You do realize I had the power of Cadence’s feather going for me both the cast and the sustain, my natural inborn flexibility and my love for my wives…” I trailed off with my eyes still close as I leaned my head back into Maries’ chest. “Yet Fizzy managed to wipe out all of us. Not only that, she then gets up this morning to get us food. How does she have enough stamina to match you Maries? Also no, I’m keeping my eyes closed for at least two more minutes and the sun can do its worst without killing everything in the world. Might even ask my little Icky for help with blocking it out…”
“Honestly Jade, we haven’t the foggiest idea how she managed to wear all four of us out or how she managed to be more flexible than you are.” Groaned out Maria. “I blame that breakdance fighting style she has personally.”
“Hey girls, I know you’re not exactly up for getting out of bed…” Fizzy started, I sat up and looked to her and the food she brought to us. Her smile, those beautiful eyes, they hid a dangerous mare beneath the happy façade. Not dangerous in the manner of violence, but dangerous in that she’s got more stamina then an alicorn.
“Please give me something to drink, orange juice, grape juice, apple juice, pomegranate juice… I’ll take any of them at the moment.” Seriously, I do love what happened last night, but we’re not the ones moving about in a glowing manner. Fizzy nodded. “Fizzy…”
“Yes, Jade?” If anyone were to doubt that Fizzy was gay, then last night activities certainly blew any chances of that possibility completely away.
She was certainly smiling up a storm this morning and I was happy to see it on her face, but I had some commentary to make.
“If someone were to walk in on us last night, they might say that Maries was a monster.” These were my true thoughts on the matter. “Instead, we all know the truth. It is that you, Fizzy, are the actual monster.”
“Yep, the best kind.” Stated Marie cheerfully.
“The only kind that can be found in a bed.” Really Mara, did you needed to double team that with Marie?
“Did both of you really have to go there?” My comment was met with a audible yawn and a kiss on the cheek from the goat of the chimera.
“Well you can’t say it’s a lie.” The groggy sounding Maria stated as she opened her eyes to look at me. “Our resident monster is really quite incredible.”
“As the resident monster, I am sorry for mauling you with my enthusiasm. So let me give you peace offering in the hopes that you will continue to be my mates.” That smug smile on her face didn’t leave even as Fizzy was blushing up a storm, she started bringing the food in. “I got us covered, every kind of breakfast item I could find.”
“Do you have cinnamon rolls?” I slowly sat up, a glass of orange juice was levitated before my face, I opened my mouth and Fizzy poured it down my throat. The juice simply disappeared into the dry abyss that was my mouth, I drained it all. “Thanks… cinnamon rolls though?”
“Yes, Jade, I have cinnamon rolls.” Huffed the smiling unicorn as she rolled her eyes and levitated a warm cinnamon roll in a napkin into my waiting hand. “Here you go!”
I swiftly devoured it to the last crumb, then licked the napkin to make sure there wasn’t any sugar left on it.
“Did you even chew that?!” Asked Mara as she sat their body up. “It looked like you inhaled it, I mean I blinked and it was gone.”
“I think I was dying of starvation until a second ago… so what are we doing today?” We were going to be on our honeymoon all week, Las Pegasus no longer had a roller coaster and that was kind of sad. The various swimming pools made up for that. “I ask because there are few things I want to discuss before we start having fun.”
“No, you can’t stay in bed all day Jade.” The sweet and forever loving Fizzy proclaimed, much to my sadness. “You can stay throughout breakfast though.”
There are goddesses, and mine are in this very room.
“Not exactly what I wanted to talk about.” Was I ready to do it? Yep, I was broaching that topic after last night. “I wanted to get onto some topics like children, where we are going, where we’ll live, how we’ll support one another as wives or anything we should be concerned about in the future or any loose ends from our pasts.”
“You mean things like Fluttershy singing that odd song about finding the guiding light in ourselves before Providence spell it out for us? There's also that odd prophecy that's complete, most thestrals have migrated back to being under Luna's command and are willing to give Twilight a chance. They will still do anything for Luna though.” After Fizzy levitated a hash brown to her mouth, she rubbed her chin while chewing over her thoughts in what looked like a literal sense. “Is it weird that our family already has children in it and that they are all trees? I mean, they are pretty great trees given what they’ve done. I wouldn’t be opposed to having some flesh and blood children though. Give me some time work out your father’s spell and it won’t be just cross species, it’ll also be able to work with same genders.”
“If you can get it to work that way... my birth was kind of a long shot.” It certainly made for unusual circumstances being half pony without hooves or looking anything like a pony. “He was an amazing unicorn stallion… I know Blade can make my mom just as happy as him.”
“My sisters request you force one of Kuril’s stamina potions down our throats. I seem to be the one with the most energy at the moment, also we’d love to eat some fish jerky too.” There was one good use for fish jerky and Marie just brought it up, it was magically filling despite how little of it you’d likely want to eat. They got their potion. “On the subject of children, we would like some and we know we’re capable of it. We just don’t know how or when it’s going to happen. Last night could possibly be a catalyst for that happening.”
“Wouldn’t it be amazing if you gave birth to something with our features?” I motioned to myself and Fizzy.
“If you two inspired a child in us, then that would good enough for us, even if it didn’t look like either of you.” The happy sigh Mara gave as some refried fish jerky was levitated over to her mouth by Fizzy.
“My wives are hungry and lazy.” It seems Fizzy was overly upbeat this morning.
“Fizzy, you being this perky and smiling this much is beautiful.” The opener, and now for my horseshoe leading into that statement. “But it should also be illegal, like how attractive you are at the moment.”
“Why, because I have pancakes… with strawberry syrup?” The pancakes were standard, but the syrup dispenser she waved around in the air had all our eyes immediately on it.
“Fizzy… I love you, but can you please go a little easy on me at least?” This was my soreness talking.
“You knew what you were getting into when you decided to marry us.” The point being made by Fizzy here was for the most part correct, I just didn’t think she could love us harder than we loved her. We were proven sorely wrong and I even pulled out some tricks to try and keep up with them.
“Fizzy, you are utterly insane, without a doubt. I’m not just saying that because of your current deviancy either.” How did I manage to say this with a straight face? Fizzy took in a mouthful of pancakes and started to slowly pour strawberry syrup on top of them. She would proceed to chew, kiss and force them into Maria’s mouth, she also fed both Mara and Marie like that too. She eventually levitated out a can of whipped cream, shook it in my direction and raised a brow while smirking. “Fine, but the hotel better be insured for this kind of thing.”
-Two hours later-
This hotel was definitely not getting this room back in any sort of order anytime soon, at least until maybe a few weeks after we were done. We just came out of the shower, the room was covered in powdered sugar, whipped cream, brown sugar, strawberry syrup and other sugary substances.
“Breakfast in bed, fun times and clean snuggles with my wives afterwards. How could this possibly go wrong?” Really shouldn’t have opened my mouth, because I knew what saying things like that led to and it was only occurring to me right this instant. “Wait, no…!”
I was cut off when Luna of The Moon, formerly Princess Luna of Equestria, busted into our room. I immediately face palmed.
“HUZZAH, I have heard about this honey and the moon being a great time of merriment!” Was Luna seriously that out of touch, after the last few years to acclimatize? Celestia might have kept her too cooped up. “So I am here to help you celebrate it in whatever capacity you deem fit.”
“Um… what are you doing here?” Why did I ask that knowing the answer already?
“I have come to help you celebrate this honeyed moon as my sister seems quite reluctant to do so!” Didn’t she go to Cranky’s wedding, shouldn’t she know this is a private thing between the married? Why is she interrupting us? No seriously, why was Luna looking so giddy and happy about being here in our room?
“Do you know what a wedding is?” It needed to be asked, as I Just had to know for clarification, I was completely dumbfounded.
“Yes, we as an invited guest we are to bring a present and we did just that at your wedding.” Arching my brow at Luna, she decided to continue on as if she wasn’t receiving a glare from all the honeymooners in the room. “The ones who love each other are to be married by an official, they spend lots of money on catering, a time and place to meet up with the official where they are then recognized as a married couple or in your case, a herd. You of course know all this since you did everything like that!”
“Better question, do you even know what a honeymoon is?” That made Luna pause.
“Does it having something to do with ingesting copious amounts of sugary things like honey until nightfall?” The stare and silence we gave Luna was deafening, slowly I slid my gaze to Fizzy who was looking flatly at me. “Well it seems this celebration has already started! From what I can see smearing sugar all over the walls is part of the tradition, I shall partake in this immediately!”
My urge to go petty kitty on Luna was rising.
“You just had to ruin it didn’t you Jade?” Fizzy said flatly.
“I didn’t ruin it… yet. Though we probably should have told Luna what being on a honeymoon actually meant before she ran off like that.” Though I probably shouldn’t have opened my mouth knowing fate tends to watch all things from almost every angle. “Look, would humoring her really be so bad?”
“Yes.” Bother Maries and Fizzy stated in unison.
“Okay, since it’s clearly unanimous, who’s going to corral an alicorn that’s likely busy eating an unhealthy amount of raw sugar at the moment?” As soon as I said it, we all shuddered violently at the thought. “Well come on then, let’s go stop her before something happens!”
-A few minutes later, Hotel Lobby-
The entire lobby was a mess and it was like a tornado just blew through here.
“What happened here?” At Maria’s question, the stallion behind the counter poked his head up.
“She ate seven bags of sugar and then started eating all the sugary breakfast items we have, then.... then she discovered coffee…” The haunted look on the stallions face would certainly be etched into my memory. “She drank fifty pots of coffee and then started eating the beans because they couldn’t be ground down fast enough… then she went after the espresso maker… the horror…”
Luna misunderstanding what a honeymoon was is slightly bad. Luna hopped up on caffeine and sugar rushing like crazy?
I sighed as this was something we couldn’t very well leave unchecked.
“We’ll have to let her down gently, once we figure out where she ran off to and what she’s currently destroying.” If I were to flick my ears ever so slightly...
“What makes you think she’s destroying…?!” Marie tried to say, but we could already hear some parts of Las Pegasus exploding.
“Jade… why did you open your mouth… just why?” Fizzy pleaded with me.
“I’m sorry, I should have known better than that!” Couldn’t go more than a week or two without havoc, that and normalcy is something I can’t do permanently.
“Well you better be sorry!” Fizzy said suddenly going from pleading to stern in a moment, making me have emotional whiplash. “Come up with a plan to fix this my dear kitty, otherwise we’re couching you for three months.”
My tail went ramrod straight and I paled, my mind rapidly started coming up with insane plans for capturing a wild alicorn.
We’d need a talking dog… no… just proclaim Luna a 'mystery' and some groups will come in to help detain her!
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This is hilarious
10277682
can we at lease get a 1 shot of this?
10277818
Forget a shot, for this theyre going to need The Decaffineightor and The Squirrels.
Why am I thinking of Pukoffeechef?
Man that crash afterward though.