Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter thirty nine, a pirate’s strife for me: Ends.

Author's Note:

Presenting... the life and death of a boulder in it's finest hour!

Yes, I've listened to the full eight hours...

-Outside Turtle Toga ruins, Jacky-

I ran forward and tossed Nefer off to the side as I exited into the blinding sunlight and stopped when I felt some wood under my talons.

I blinked the blindness out of my eyes as I heard that rock coming down the hallway behind me and looked below me.

Currently, I was standing on the bowsprit of a ship and below said bowsprit was a large cannon like device. Likely what Teatime Clockwork used to drill his way through the ruins exit.

I looked back to the hillside and saw Nefer sitting in the grass staring at me wide eyed. Also there was the oncoming boulder, couldn’t forget that.

This is obviously Teatime’s airship, given all the clockwork cannon mouths suddenly taking aim at me.

Okay, given Clockwork’s current level of luck… I would think this ship was about to be…

The boulder rammed into bow of the ship and straight through the lower sections and out the stern of it, the bowsprit broke and slammed into the ground and multiple metal balls passed overhead missing me.

I was sent tumbling to onto the hillside, where I sat and watched as the airship before me went up in a massive explosion that sent many clockwork golem pony parts flying everywhere.

Tea-totaled!

I stared at the boulder beyond the airship as it came to stop covered in hundreds of jagged little bits of pointy metal sticking out of it, none of said bits looked dull in the slightest.

It then, much to my surprise and chagrin, started to roll back up hill at me. Up the hill, not down the hill as gravity would have it.

“Meet me back in town Nefer, I’m going to try and ditch the killer boulder!” I yelled as I got up and started running as fast as my chicken legs could carry me, Sekhet always said calisthenics were important.

The direction I was running in was not the same direction as the town, instead I was running to rock farm quarry on Turtle Toga. Earth Pony run, but it also had workers from various species. Maybe the dynamite there could blow the boulder up?

The boulder curved and followed me as I charged down the hill as fast as I could run with adrenaline pumping through my entire body. It couldn’t change direction very fast, but it could roll in a straight line faster than I could run.

I reached the edge of the large rock farm hole and turned on a dime to start running along the edge of the ridge. When the boulder tried to turn, it fell off the ridge. I stopped and saw the boulder hit the ground below.

“Hah, what are you going to do now you raging piled of clumped dirt?” To the kids who might hear this story later in my life should I survive today, don’t do what I’m doing right now. You should never insult a killer magical boulder, especially not a highly vindictive one! “I doubt you can roll up a rock face this steep!”

The boulder seemed to sit still for a moment and then rolled over to smash a shack in the rock farm, said action caused a pile of dynamite to spill out of it.

What was it doing? Well, it was starting to roll over the dynamite until it encased itself in all the explosives it could gather.

It then rolled rapidly toward me and a lit stick of dynamite then flew up off it towards me. I started running to my left and towards town as the section of the ridge I used to be on went up in an explosion, sending an entire portion of said ridge crumbling down behind me.

I think anyone can understand what, “The Boulder of ‘INCREASING DANGER’”, means now. Given it is now capable of throwing dynamite at me. Boulders are not supposed to be intelligent like this!

As I ran past the ramp leading out of the rock farm another stick of dynamite arced overhead and landed in front of me, I skidded to a stop and was blown onto my back by the shockwave of the blast. I slowly got up coughing and groaning, feeling the ground under me rumbling I could feel it getting closer.

Looking behind me the boulder rapidly rolling up the ramp out of the rock farm hole. It was also lightning several more sticks of dynamite which arced off of its rapid rolling form and towards me.

I stumbled into a standing position and was blasted forward by the next explosion, I rolled with it and then pulled out of my roll running on my two feet as fast as they could take me.

The boulder reached the top of the ramp sending more lit sticks of dynamite arcing for me and I ran, ducked, jumped and dodged like my life depended on it. It certainly seemed like it currently did.

I saw a hippogriff with a pickaxe whistling on the road and he stopped to stare at the spectacle that was my life currently.

“Out the way, killer magical boulder on the loose!” I jumped over the next explosion, the poor guy dove off to the side clutching tightly to his pickaxe, as lit sticks of dynamite continued to haphazardly fly in my general direction.

I dodged left around an explosion, managed to get past the next stick of dynamite that exploded behind me and then I turned and started to climb a tree making the next few sticks of dynamite miss. The boulder sent one that landed at the base of the tree as I was climbing.

Thank you sharp pointy climbing talons on my hand and feet! I reached the top and heard the dynamite at the base of the tree go off and it started to fall, I leapt to the next tree and dynamite landed at the base of that one too.

I immediately leapt for the next tree and almost fell short. Managing to grab one of the leaves, my downward force and weight managed to bend the whole tree downwards and looking beneath me I saw the boulder waiting eagerly with a slow burning stick of dynamite standing on top of its sharp pointy metal covered surface.

“Look, I sincerely apologize for taunting such an exquisite magical death boulder of great killing power such as yourself, so can we talk about this killing me thing?” I tried, then watched with slight horror as the boulder shifted left and right in a jerky manner, as if answering my question with a stern ‘NO’. It did so while managing to keep that standing stick of dynamite perfectly balanced on top of itself.

The fuse almost sunk into the stick… then the tree decided to snap back into a standing position and I reflexively let go and was sent flailing through the air towards Port Turtle Toga.

I heard an explosion and saw several sticks of exploding dynamite that were trying and failing to catch up with my flailing form.

-Killer Magical Bolder-

Covered in light scorch mark.

Blast missed bird.

Roll in tight circle in complete anger.

Go rolling rapidly after flailing airborne flightless bird.

Exterminate!

-Jacky-

My launch arc was finally descended into the trees near the edge of Port Turtle Toga, I bounced painfully off the top of a banana tree and took several branches to the body from some of the other trees and then bodily ripped an entire banana bushel from one tree and impacted the ground.

Those poor smashed bananas splattered everywhere and cushioned my fall… also my body was now severely bruise and I couldn’t stand up at the moment. I couldn’t just stay lying down like this either or else the boulder would get me.

I was just on the edge of town too… so tired after all that trap filled ruins exploring and it was getting into the evening.

I sat up groaning, think I needed at least twenty seconds to catch my breath and the boulder was going to let me go that easily. Wait… bananas… one of my old time favorite things to annoy people with!

Only my horrible luck was currently neutralized at the moment, could it still work and or would it work better?

Peeling a banana I started to eat it quickly as I needed to get some energy back, I had almost finished the banana when I heard the rumbling of the boulder coming at me.

I took the last bite in my mouth and threw the banana peel at the boulder as it turned a corner around some trees to start rumbling towards me. The banana peel landed in front of its right side.

I stood up and glared the boulder down, it hit the banana and it seemed the forces of nature still appreciated an exceptionally good banana peel joke. For the still spinning boulder zipped off to the side out of control upon contact with the banana.

It still managed to get one of its remaining dynamite sticks off at me, but I simply pulled my bow out and grabbed the lit stick of dynamite out of the air and immediately fired it in the direction of the boulder.

There was a series of loud explosions and all was silent…

The boulder then launched itself off a hill and tried to crush me. I had already turned and started running into town when it crashed into the ground behind me.

“I would like to apologize in advance to everyone living in Turtle Toga at this time!” Our chase was going to cause a mess. “Gangway, coming through, deadly mystical boulder that absolutely hates my guts and wants me dead!”

Quite a few people were getting out of the way of my shouting and the boulder following behind me.

I skidded on my left foot talons as I turned right and started down a street, the boulder slammed through the wall of a building causing screams. I didn’t pay it any mind as I ran up a plank balanced over a barrel as a makeshift seesaw.

Once I lowered the other end close to a pile of relatively heavy looking barrels, I huffed and grunted as I heaved one those barrels over my shoulder at the other end of the seesaw. My muscles were screaming at me for that, especially after all the running I’ve been doing.

I crouched down and jumped with the board’s upward momentum, narrowly avoiding the boulder smashing through what could only be a bunch of fully loaded of rum barrels.

“The rums all gone, why is it all gone!” I ignored that shout of horror as I ran across a roof.

The boulder somehow how launched itself up here with me and started to roll along the roof behind me tearing it up. The roof started to sink and sag from its weight.

I really had to get this thing off my tail feathers, which would require I get down to the port. I had a bath to take.

I threw my bow up and over a clothesline and slid down it and dropped to the ground running as the boulder smashed through somebody’s front door having sunk into the house behind me.

I turned the corner and started making my way down towards the port… only I didn’t hear the sound of the boulder chasing me.

“...?” I slowed down as I turned the next corner back onto the previous street and saw the boulder smashing a cabbage oil stand, and started to roll itself around in the cabbage oil smothering itself completely.

“My cabbages… in a highly marketable cooking and lamp oil form!” It was that pony again, never could remember his name.

“Okay, I give… why did you destroy that stand?” Really didn’t know why I was asking the boulder when I should be running for the sea right now.

The boulder placed a single bit of metal on the ground and then performed a quick three hundred and sixty degree spin that lit it entirely on fire from the sparks.

“Goodness gracious, a great ball of fire… seriously though?” I lamented blandly, the boulder rolled forwards and backwards a bit as if to say both ‘yes’ and ‘die’ at the same time. For such a deadly boulder, it really knew how to emote its point across quite clearly. “Yeah okay… I’m going to run screaming for the port now with you literally hot on my tail.”

Seconds later that became a thing. Me running and screaming shrilly at the top of my lungs, with heat washing up my backside as I was chased by a flaming boulder towards the docks. Nobody would be stupid enough to try and help me now.

The hot flaming boulder changed course and launched itself off a slanted wagon and overhead to land on the docks. Docks that were made of wood... and I think it was trying to prevent me from jumping in the water.

I ran to my right down the docks and the boulder moved to the pier and started to bounce along each and every ship in the harbor. I looked to my right as I ran when I saw a familiar face.

“Nefer, get me a bucket of water, I don’t care if it’s clean or not!” I screamed at the trident tailed cat as I passed by him coming out from the Gallant’s Tavern.

The boulder was hopping from ship to ship lighting them all ablaze… and my ship was at the end of the dock! I stopped running once I realized that, it set the ship before mine on fire and then rolled onto the dock while burning away the bowsprit of the ship that was next to ours.

The boulder sat menacingly before me and the entire port was basically on fire. I turned around and ran back the way I came and boulder start to roll towards me at dangerous speeds, apparently the heat had smoothed the sharp point metal bit on it and made the flaming thing capable of rolling faster.

“Here!” Nefer quickly got out of the way after dragging a bucket into my path. I swept it up and turned straight for the fire.

I dumped the water over my head and leapt through the fire for the sea, I felt the boulder launch right after me as I fell into the water.

-Nefer-

I watched as brave Captain Blackcap, the friendly cursed pirate, fell into the water and a huge blast of water went into the air.

“Captain Blackcap?” Sitting down I just watched as the docks burned quietly.

-nine minutes, fifty nine point nine seconds later, Gene-

Jacky burst from the water coughing, sputtering and burnt somewhat. Thankfully the section of dock we parked next to hadn’t been repaired from earlier, so the fire hadn’t spread to the ship and I didn’t need to take action.

“Are you okay Jacky?” She didn’t look so good, I flew over to her and helped pull her from the water.

“Happy… to be alive… also happy that I can hold my breath… for ten minutes… while pinned by a boulder that absolutely wanted me to drown. My lungs really hurt though…” Jacky was still coughing up water. “Help me get to that three tailed cat over there, then help me to the tavern.”

I lifted Jacky up and did as she ask.

“Hey Nefer, come on!” Jacky's words made the cat perk up.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

ACME Boulders. For those bolder boulders to bowlderise bowling boulder traps.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the docks, Gybrush Threepwood manages to haul The Golden Idol out with him.

[Drazhan]

Exterminate!

So the Boulder of Increasing Danger is the Turtle Toga version of a Dalek. I wonder what Maud's Boulder is. Some things are better left unknown.

[Shadowshame]

The music works perfectly for this page long chase scene

[jimerjam]

“The rums all gone, why is it all gone!

s4.scoopwhoop.com/anj/depp/408664036.jpg

[talontitanbane]

Exterminate!

By all that's holy run! It's a Darlek!