Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter Sixty Eight, Pharaoh Emerald, of cake: Having bird, lacking edibility.

Author's Note:

This page is a huge yikes, but it's an opener to the ending.

-Airship Mauled, Arizona-

“So… you became Pharaoh Emerald, had a pyramid built for you by Baast here and came straight home when we eventually found you inside?” I noticed Jade looks a little upset, like she hasn’t been upset multiple times recounting this entire story.

“No, that didn’t happen… wished it did.” After all the stuff she’s told us so far, how much more could Jade have possibly had to put up with?

“Are you sure you want to tell them about… that?” Baast quietly asked, I looked at the goddess and she seemed to be a bit wary.

“Well we obviously want to know what she went through.” Fizzle and Maries were there for her and they hadn’t let her out of their sight yet. “She said she’d tell us all of it.”

“Yes Baast, it needs to be told. We need to set the stage first.” Jade looked around the room. “After a near constant year of fighting through Anugyptian territories and helping end the war, I spent the next year and a half working on therapy with Anubis. I had traumatized the both of us in aid of defeating the parasite, where the six priestesses came through for us and cleansed the god of death after he nearly killed me multiple times.”

“In between Jade’s sessions with Anubis, she took part in helping to build her own pyramid. A leader must be able to work alongside anyone she told us, even a humble worker. We finished before the third year was out due to everyone’s efforts.” Baast wilted slightly. “Now there’s a bit of magic that can only be used once on any one being and Jade had absolutely earned the right to have it used on her. Jade had to say goodbye to all her friends knowing they were going to perish of old age, while she slept the next few thousand years in her sarcophagus.”

“Hearing that Baast was a goddess, hearing that I had to sleep well beyond their lifespans, it was a rather bitter pill for everyone to swallow. They had to move on with their lives without me. My rule was short lived, but I was well loved universally by everyone. The ones I befriended personally more so than anyone else.” Jade sighed. “I remember getting into the sarcophagus, wearing my ratty cloak, shorts and shirt, all of them having been cleaned and somewhat fixed by both Cheerful and Clarity. They wished me luck on getting back to my life…”

“So Fizzle’s group, following the trail of the End of Immortality, led them to your sarcophagus and…” I was cut off by Fizzle and what she said shook me.

“Only we didn’t find her in the sarcophagus Arizona, we passed by an open one and found her as a statue on a pedestal.” Fizzle sent a look to Baast and Jade, even Paprika didn’t look cheerful about what we were hearing now.

“After everything you went through, it still gets worse?!” Velvet was the one to voice it.

“You’d be correct Velvet Iceberg Arid Paca La Perm.” Jade muttered in a defeated tone.

“Thus started the Saddle Arabia incident.” Baast said calmly drawing our attentions back to her. “Thieves invaded the pyramid and opened her sarcophagus looking for riches, they only found anger, resentment and pettiness on a level unseen in the form of the near destruction of the entire nation of Saddle Arabia. It doesn’t take much to guess who almost did that.”

“I snapped and went evil, no need to hide it Baast. Mostly because even you couldn’t hide all the things I did during that period of time. The Saddle Arabians definitely remembered me nearly brining the entire nation down single handedly. Almost did it entirely by myself, despite the various other wackos chipping in to help or hinder me at random.” Wow, waking Jade up before the right time must have made her go off the deep end, I know I’d be quite mad if that had happened to me. At best I’d destroy an entire mountain, suck it up and then figure out how I was going to get home to Paprika and Velvet. Those two wouldn’t survive without their best wife! “Nagrabah or Neighgrabah was my favorite target in Saddle Arabia. I’m the reason that particular city had a name change. I had managed to figure out how to curse the city’s name quite literally to have magic happen in the streets every hour or so in a routine manner. It took a lot of setting up though.”

“If you’re a prominent historical figure, then why don’t you appear in history books or ‘One Thousand and One Saddle Arabian Tales’?” Flotsam was as just as odd as the rest of Jacky’s crew, she tended to like reading up on history and could become a teacher on the subject with how fascinated she was by it. “I can understand Baast helping the civilization of Ancient Anugypt become lost, I can easily wrap my head around that, but Saddle Arabia is still around and withstood the test of time.”

“I was a prominent historical figure though, history just forgot that I was real and it’s like I became an unforgettable folktale.” Jade stood up and pulled out her clay mask and slid it over her face, her entire body warped until her fur darkened and her appearance changed to a cat wearing a nemes with a little snake on it. “You’re looking at the most evil cat in all of Saddle Arabia, The Great Evil Sorceress Mirage! I figure out how to disguise myself with a clay mask within a few weeks of being unceremoniously woken up by a pony thief named Abyss Maul and his partner How Rude, along with a few other jerks. It was very useful that I could go around peddling things as a merchant outside of my disguise.”

“So, were you responsible for Jafar by selling him the first half of the beetle?” Nodding at Flotsam’s question, Jade had a flat serious look on her face. Flotsam continued asking questions after that. “Were you also responsible for turning Princess Jasmine into a lamia or naga? Did you nearly kill Ballad Din multiple times? How did you get Chaos, or Discord as we know him today, to do your dirty work for you? Why did you even do all of that?”

“Remember how I said that the millennia sleeping spell can only be used on a person once? My one time and I’m woken up a thousand years later long before I needed to be. Angry doesn’t describe the state I was in, but it all had a purpose, aside from thinking lamia are adorable of course. Naga are a bit uglier and don’t have as much intelligence.” Jade looked to her mom. “Is it about lunch time? The reason I tried to do the most heinous things imaginable, it is because if I couldn’t do something heroic enough to survive coming back to the right time period, then I could go for the hard opposite. Doing enough horrible things in Baast’s name that she would curse me badly enough to make me last long enough to get back. It worked.”

“Unfortunately most of the evil Jade did taught valuable lessons in love, commitment, strength and agility.” Baast looked mildly confused. “It was a little strange that of all the evils she committed, they almost always had nearly positive outcomes. She absolutely destroyed the thieves’ guild from what she told me, Ballad Din’s rule after that probably went swimmingly when he became sultan given Jade was no longer active.”

“The magical rainforest bird took a bit of setting up to do.” Jade grumbled. “Made two parrots very happy with my evil ways… ended up they were Jacky’s ancestors, before the magical piracy curse.”

“So what was the straw that completely broke the camel’s back for you Baast?” I asked with a bit of apprehension, I know how to tease both my wives effectively and when to stop doing so. Well at least I learned when to stop teasing Paprika, I never stop when it comes to Velvet.

“I’d like to know as well, because there were many stories that could be attributed to Mirage’s existence.” Flotsam seemed more curious than afraid of Jade, she probably doesn’t know what Jade is capable of. I’m sure I could take Jade any day of the week when it comes to a physical contest, aside from plaid level pain tolerance.

“It took her three and a half years, but she eventually managed to do something so outrageously heinous that even the other gods or I couldn’t have ignored it if we tried. Aside from Jade, I’m the only one that knows the terrible truth.” Baast ears and tail wilted. “Halfway through her first year in Saddle Arabia, the phoenix goddess Bennu came to Jade and they became good friends. They started working together on something. It was to be called The End of Immortality, Jade had planned everything down to the finest detail from that point forward. That includes any and all possible outside interference from over thousands of years’ worth of time it took for her to return to this day and age, the terrifying thing about that is that she accounted for Discord. Discord! It was improbable and yet… Jade did it, she managed to come back to you after she finally succeeded in earning my ire.”

“Bennu was the one that created that artifact with some input from me and she held onto it for the next two and half years while I was terrorizing Saddle Arabia while setting up my own return.” Jade seemed sad, Snickers settled down on top of her head and hugged her hair. “I really miss Benny, she was a good flaming giant bird and had a weird sense of humor. I worked on a return that required the most convoluted worldwide goose chase I could come up with. If anything went wrong with my planning then that was it, at that point there was no coming back to all of you for me. Two and a half years of effort in planning a worldwide conspiracy, thousands of years to gap to the here and now. I succeeded and sometimes feel bad about why I had done so.”

“She caused a lot of chaos in that day an age, it was both sweet and bitter in taste. Like a dark chocolate night, where you can just reach up and grab a piece of the sky to chomp down on it.” It was Discord and Baast immediately started cozying up to him, he currently looked like blue sphinx with wings and a scraggily black beard. “Those days were fun, but looking back on it… I think I have an apology to make Jade.”

“You’re the lord of chaos, no need to do that. You did exactly as you were supposed to, thanks for looking out for Airship Mauled for me.” Jade said softly, Discord nodded as he returned to his draconequus self with Baast clinging to him, he quickly disappeared from her grasp and Baast pouted. “You were always neutral to everyone Discord. As Baast once upon a time stated, you can’t do commitments very well. At least you can’t commit to one thing forever, that wouldn’t be chaotic as is your very nature. You’re still capable of friendship at the very least, because friendship is not a total commitment.”

“Thank you, I have… other things to go check on.” Discord turned slightly blue and gained some goat like horns as he disappeared.

“So how bad did you get Jade?” If Fizzle didn’t ask, then I would have. Jade is nuts, even by our standards. “I’m trying to wrap my head around that fact that my favorite snuggle cat is one of the worst things to ever happen to Saddle Arabia.”

“She’s already clearly paid her sentence at least or else Baast would still be angry with her.” Maria said from next to her.

“Yes, I think Jade paid a fair price to return to those she loved above all else.” Baast didn’t meet Jade’s gaze and even growled a bit aggressively.

“We still haven’t gotten the signal that we can return to our lives, the friendship problem is not between me and you is it Baast?” Fluttershy, I think you hit a nail on the head and hit it really hard considering the two of them winced visibly and glared at each other before looking away. “It’s between you… and Jade.”

“… Yes...” That was what the suddenly reticent Baast had to say on it. “It is a problem that is not easy to resolve, even with all the time I had to come to terms with it. Given I failed Jade and she had to do something horrible because of it, it is my fault as much as it is hers. I believe that’s enough for today.”

“I agree. What I did was terrible and it require a fresh mind to handle the information, we’ll get into that soon enough tomorrow.” Jade and Baast didn’t look at each other, but Jade did hold up a claw towards her mother. “Mom, some paper, an envelope, a pencil and a stamp please, I have a message I need Ratatoskr to deliver to someone important so I can finally get this metaphorical large hole out of my chest.”

Once she took the paper and pencil Jade started to write something down, she folded the paper and put it into the envelope. Rata waited and took the envelope and Jade paid him, whispered something into his ear and he was off in a flash.

-The next morning, Jade-

It was time to come clean, I couldn’t run from this. I still had the End of Immortality, but its uses are fairly limited considering what it does.

I sat down at the table and across from me Baast sat down, soon everyone flooded in to hear what I had done.

“Everything Jade did to Saddle Arabia, to me, was fairly warranted. I could not bring myself to be angry with her over that, it’s what happened after she stopped terrorizing the Saddle Arabians that still bothers me on a number of levels.” Baast turned to me and actually looked me in the eyes, she looked angry. She deserved to be. “No other gods know of this, but I would like to hear it from her mouth personally. Why Jade... why did you kill Bennu…”

“Bennu… wasn’t fully a goddess, not when she came to me and we started building a strong friendship. She showed divinity, but had actually never fully ascended. She managed to halt the process just before becoming something beyond mortality.” I put my head down on my arms. “I have never met a nicer heron shaped phoenix in my life, but what she asked of me was terrible because she was friends with Baast and had talked to Baast about me. The End of Immortality only works on immortals who haven’t fully ascended, Bennu was ever so close when she stopped and stepped back from that precipice. I used the End of Immortality on her… and… I told you afterwards.”

“My reaction was swift, it was only afterwards that I realized that I did exactly what Jade had wanted.” Baast started to cry.

“She was my friend too Baast.” I stated somberly. “She wanted… to be a natural part of the cycle again."

A long silence followed those words.

Comments

[Herald of Opera]

Fun fact: the only reason I even know about Bennu is because of Yugioh. (Interestingly, the card didn't come out until well after the Egyptian shenanigans were over)

[Herald of Opera]

Wait a minute...

The End of Immortality only works on immortals who haven’t fully ascended

So it won't work for the thing GODLESS wants it for? I guess that explains Dispel Grace...

[Booster Spice]

Bennu was happy because she finally had a freind who could help her only wish come true?

[jimerjam]

10131910
some say that imortality is a curse