Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter thirty nine, a pirate’s strife for me: Starting somewhere.

-A day later, The Ardent Survivor, Gene-

I was being eyed up and down by the sea pony that can’t swim and Nefer was an interesting trident tailed cat plant.

“So what exactly will we be doing?” Flotsam De Brie was interesting for being a partial whitecap, though activating that whitecap ability seemed troubling. She didn’t exactly have an infinite amount of stomach for eating fruit rinds and it has got to be pretty hard on her teeth, especially if she ever had to eat anything as crazy as a pineapple rind.

“At the moment nothing. In the long run we’ll be getting into treasure hunting, exploring places we’ve never been before and possibly dealing with other pirates in an over the top volatile manner. That’s on top of dealing with any enemies we make and Jacky’s bad luck during our journeys.” I was trying for friendly, but my tone and voice sounded neutral, I sometimes disparaged my own nature. Neither of them had any skills for working on a ship, much less one that can fly, but that was actually a good thing. Jacky had a lot of skills required to be a pirate and good captain at that, she could easily teach these two what to do as there was nothing for them to unlearn. “I hope we can be friends and possibly family, some pirates see their crew as family. Jacky already calls her sister captain and is a bit wary of being called captain herself, so go easy on her for all the weird things that’ll happen around us alright? Her sister was prone to dragging others into bizarre situations and I have no doubt that we’ll end up following that trend with Jacky.”

“I’m okay with learning to be friends, but give me a rain check on family and I’ll reserve judgment about whether or not I’ll ever be willing to call Jacky a captain based on her actions.” Sammy seemed a little distant, she was on a slave trading ship not too long ago and almost drowned because she can’t swim. It was understandable that she had no idea what to do with herself, almost like Jacky.

“Fair enough.” I offered blandly. “She’s going to be captain and I think she can really handle the position. Jacky is a rather strong person.”

At least Jacky decided to do something even if it is a bit of a pipe dream to get Jade back through some random cursed objects. Jacky’s reasoning being that cursed objects were always more powerful than regular magical relics, while true, it wasn’t likely we’ll ever find anything that could do exactly what she wanted and she had to know that.

“So we’re family? Can I call you my big pretty sister Flotsam?” Nefer hopped in front of the sea pony with his trident tail waggling and he rubbed up against Sam’s belly. Sam looked a little unsure about what to say. “Jacky has a sister she mentions a lot and now I get one too!”

“How soon do you suppose Jacky will find one more crew member and will be getting back with all those maps she’s looking into?” Flotsam was trying to divert attention off of herself not knowing how to deal with Nefer’s positive energy.

“Depends, her neutral luck ran out days ago, all the pirates in port will eventually remember that this is the ship she got off of when we arrived and who knows what else will happen on her way back from getting maps.” Giving it some thought and doing some calculating, I wasn’t exactly dumb enough to think that we would be able to leave unmolested without something going wrong. Jacky’s modus operandi was constantly surviving and thriving on horrible situations, so what was the likeliest course of action to prepare for the inevitable? “I should teach you both how to inflate the balloon and we should have it fully inflated before she gets back. Also... we should be ready for lift off out of the water as soon as she’s back on the ship.”

I should also get the ship pointed out to sea while I’m at it, aim the cannons inwards towards the port...

-Ruined airship camp, Teatime Clockwork-

“Even with my Musket Mouths have been scattered about to the four winds with my ship utterly destroyed. That pirate and strange cat have no idea who they are messing with, even if they had gotten seriously lucky in dealing with me!” I had spent the last day or so reconstructing some of my golems from spare parts, the bits that hadn’t obviously been destroyed by some kind of large boulder. “Put me in a sticky wicket will they? Well I’ll put them in even stickier wickets with the golems I’ve managed to fix! Thankfully my designs make it easy to cannibalize the more horribly broken ones to fix some of the others.”

I ordered the clockwork ponies to follow me to Port Turtle Toga, there was only one place that pirate could have gone. Like any braggart, she was probably imbibing some nasty substances and telling a glorious tale of my defeat. Tea was the superior drink and my skills with building clockwork soldiers were superb, I’ve just had a minor setback is all.

I had managed to get ten Musket Mouths available and fully functional… that should be enough to win a battle with that scoundrel. I could come back for my tents and supplies once I have secured a way off this blasted island.

So I have lost most of my clockwork golems… and my ship… and quite a number of my supplies, but nothing would stop me. For I am Teatime Clockwork, I will be getting my justified revenge on those who have humiliated me!

-Discount Map Shop, Jacky-

There were so many discount maps here, I looked at the pony lazily sitting at the counter. I believe the winged pony was called Cloudy Vision, special talent for supposedly divining maps to horrible places to go to. Her sky blue eyes made her look blind and she clearly wasn’t, she also had pink hair in a bun and burnt orange fur.

“Got any maps to dimensional traveling cursed objects?” First order of business ask for something specific.

“Well there is this one object that Celestia's royal guard apparently dumped in one of the deepest trenches in the ocean completely encased in a cement and all kinds of powerful magical protections.” That was quite familiar. In fact, I knew what she was talking about.

“Not what I’m looking for, I already know what that is and my sister had issues with its existence and that’s how it ended up in the trench under such protections in the first place. I am not touching the Sieve Precarious!” I crossed my arms to stare at the pegasus who was giving me a wide eyed look. She blinked once or twice and then smiled and placed a map on the counter.

“If you can name the object I’m talking about, then you get a free map. Choice nonnegotiable it’s to something that might be of interest or not, but that’s for you to find out.” If this pony was giving them away, I will gladly take them. Free was good sometimes. “How about a map to the secret of the Turtle Ruins, apparently there’s a password written down on it and I hear there’s something in there that might…”

“Flipping Turtle Coin, eighty percent chance of bad luck. Even if I get a good luck flip, I’m pretty sure it’s a once a day thing and it barely neutralizes my bad luck for a time.” I pulled out the coin and showed it to her in my bandaged talons. “Got it from the ruins and that’s how most of the port went up in flames except for that one ship, try another one.”

The pony put another map on the counter. That was two… I was beginning to have a sinking suspicion something was up with her.

“Okay how about a weapon then? I heard recent tales of a strange mystical bow that can’t fire arrows straight to save anyone’s life, but it can fire anything else under the sun.” I stopped her by holding up my talons, unshouldered my bow, put an arrow to it and aimed it directly for her and pulled it back. “Uh… have I upset you in some...?!”

I released the arrow and she cringed. After a moment and a loud noise of the arrow impacting something, she opened one eye and then blinked in disbelief. The arrow was buried at an angle in the ceiling, behind me and pointed in the same direction I had been aiming.

“That… doesn’t make sense… you were aiming directly at me with it and now it’s in the ceiling!” The mare just stared at the arrow and then turned her gaze down to me.

“And where, pray tell, does the map for the bow that my sister made for me with her own two paws lead?” I asked congenially while I loaded the string with several sharpened pointy forks. “Things that are not arrows work pretty well as I’m sure you very well know. If I release these forks, aimed as they are, they will do more than just hurt you mildly.”

She gulped and started sweating while placing a third random map on the counter, she then turned around and eventually turned back to me to spread out a map on the counter next to my three free maps. I stared at her with a hint of suspicion.

“It’s here in the middle of nowhere.” There was an 'X' where Airship Mauled would be.

“Okay… how did you come about this information?” I narrowed my eyes at her. “Quite frankly no one that lives in the town there is particularly talkative about the magic of my bow Cloudy.”

“There’s a town there? Okay, I guess I should come clean as to why my shop sells discount maps to strange or cursed artifacts…” Please do Cloudy, I gestured my bow at her. “First off, all my maps lead to things that are actually there, have been there or were at the locations at some point for a long enough amount of time for me to have had a vision about a specific treasure with some idea of what it does. I’m a whitecap, but my ability is spotty at best. There’s no curse in the maps I make and they always lead people to at least something interesting or useful. I get a location, the basics of an object and what it does, plus the general danger level of said location with each vision. That bows danger level was pretty high, what you find when you end up at these locations might not always be what you wanted though.”

“How do you profit from this when your prices are so cheap without someone coming back to maul you?” The small smile I was receiving was rather telling.

“Sometimes some pirates have nothing to lose or better to do… other’s absolutely have a death wish and buy the maps with higher lethality levels regardless of the dangers presented.” Cloudy shrugged looking a bit apologetic. “If they survive they might become legends or have some interesting stories to tell.”

“What about the free maps you’re giving me?” I asked, reminding her that I was aiming this bow at her lethally.

“Moderately dangerous as any other place in the world, the locations aren’t too bad. If you can give me a specific idea of what you want, then I’ll give you a fresh vision map for twenty bits.” Considering Cloudy’s offer, as I took up the three free maps she put on the counter and pocketed them, I eventually reached into my side pouch and put twenty bits on the counter.

“The most ‘explosively dangerous’ cursed artifact you can find.” After she took my money, she performed a ritualistic vision that involved shocking herself into unconsciousness with a bolt of lightning from a cloud she placed above herself. When she got up fifteen minutes later, she drew out a map and hoofed it over to me.

“Pleasure doing business with you Black Jack, remember to come back anytime and please be less threatening next time.” Cloudy Vision would get some consideration from me if these maps were any good. “Hope you find some good things out there and happy treasure hunting, though the things you find might not always be a treasure you should take!”

-Thirty minutes later, Ardent Survivor, Gene-

“That’s how you properly load a cannon. Pull cord cannons are faster, fuse cannons gives you time to aim before a shot fires.” We had three loaded cannons pointing in the direction of the docks and I had absolutely good reasons for this.

“Gene pick me up and let’s get out of here!” I saw a freshly injured Jacky coming up to the ship and I helped her aboard by airlifting her onto the fully prepared airship. Her left shoulder looked bad.

“So Jacky… what’s the rush and are we going to get a fifth crew member?” I would be correct in thinking that Jacky looked a little lightheaded.

“No time, that Teatime guy has his clockwork ponies out and gunning for us! Also there’s this large angry pirate mob, so I’ll just get us moving...” She paused when she realized the ship had been turned, the balloon was filled and the cannons were loaded. “Good job on being preemptive ‘First Mate’ Generic!”

I smiled calmly at her, I knew she’d appreciate some positive initiative.

Flotsam pulled a cord on one of the cannons, making it blast the not so burnt down portion of the docks. A few seconds later a pony shaped mechanical head full of gears smacked Jacky in the back of the head as she was taking up the wheel, making her face bounce off it in painfully awkward manner.

Jacky gritted her beak and hit the throttle, the remaining portion of the balloon filled and we were soon lifting off and moving forward. She looked over her wounded shoulder, that we will bandage up soon enough. Medical supplies were going to be needed in an abundance on this crew, mostly for my girlfriend Captain Blackcap.

“This will not be the last you see of me, I will find you or my name isn’t Teatime Clockwork!” That pony in the strange explorer garb yelled as the clockwork pony golems fired on the wood of our ship from below and the metal spheres just bounced off the wood despite flying at the speeds of deadly grape shot.

That’s when an unruly mob of pirates arrived with pitchforks and torches, Teatime turned his attention to them instead of us and must have said something they didn’t like because he was swamped by them seconds later.

Thankfully our balloon wasn’t hit by the clockwork golems that turned to deal with the problem and we put some distance from port.

“Captain… do you suppose Jade…” I started to say.

“Undoubtedly... every single piece of wood on this ship.” Jacky answered with a fond, if pained, smile tugging at her beak.

“Let me patch you up, looks like you took a nasty hit to the shoulder.” I turned to our cabin boy. “Fetch us some medical supplies!”

I turned back to see Jacky staring at the lifeless clockwork pony head with interest.

-Eir-

Sad boulder is watching friend's airship leave... I make pet!

Author's Note:

And Jacky's crew is off... into the wild blue yonder!

What kind of weird adventures are they going to get up to?

Also knew episode in a few hours... Sombra the shade monster comes back like a more intelligent lich. Ten internet cookies says he destroys the old tree of harmony and doesn't do a thing about the 'less obvious' new one.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Mapmaker, mapmaker, make me a map.

A leftover head of a mechanical golem? I think I'll call him Bob.

The large rock on Equestria is Major Tom, so Eirs new pet is General Mayhem?

I honestly thought there was going to be a chance that Seapony would eat something atrocious, flick the ship, making it Inertialess drive when the cannons fired back at the docks, making the canon balls, and everyone attacking do like Wile E Coyote.

Its spoken Tee A Tim Eh?

[Draskos]

The most interesting curse so far is the Highland Puckwudgie curse. It only effected Jade and them, but it's the only curse that spreads upon learning of it. You can't say it near them normally, but you're added to the cursed members if they tell you about the curse.

[HF Fury]

And now a Dalek boulder...