• Published 31st Mar 2018
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Airship Mauled - Darkonshadows



We crash landed on a goddess. Welcome to Airship Mauled, where everything could possibly be worse.

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Chapter forty-four, Lacking Overly Violent Enmity: Dirigible.

Author's Note:

-Zebrica a day later, The Savannah, Jacky-

“You know, this isn’t quite what I expected. Still it’s a far sight better than some badlands or the deserts near Abyssinia.” Savannah stated as we walked into the plains. “It seems so vast and open… just like me!”

I just sighed as she preened. She’s a bit more spacy than Jade is and I did not want to know what she got up to when she was frisky. That said, I should really thank her for letting me use the amulet.

“Thanks for letting me use your amulet yesterday.” Sure it doesn’t heal wounds, but it was a useful effect to wish for on a ship where bathing is kind of rare. Everyone except Nefer wanted to use it, it was just that useful.

“You’re welcome to use it anytime Captain Blackcap, considering how your life tends to go you’ll end up getting more use out of it than I will!” Savannah was wearing shorts and a shirt today, she smacked her right fist into her left palm. “So what are we doing out here in the middle of nowhere Jacky? I know it wasn’t to thank me for helping you get all that mud out of your feathers.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about something...” I started off slowly while looking around to make sure nothing would interfere in our talk.

“Is it about how to lead a happy sex life… it’s about how to lead a happy sex life isn’t it?” Savannah was a bit too perky and happy about the subject.

“No!” Though she could probably see my cheeks heating up, even if my fluff covered cheeks were darkly colored.

“Well, even if you don’t want to hear it, I’ll tell you anyway!” Why did I think asking Savannah out to the savannah for some quality friendship time would be a good idea again? “Make sure you’re up to date on your own medical history, you know all your partners medicals histories, you should focus on making sure your partner or partners are happy and if they are any good then they’ll return the favor for you, plus having an open mind can lead to a plenty of happiness all around!”

“Er… what?” I was a bit confused.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what they all say when I tell anyone about having my medical records on paw at all times, I even get a doctor’s opinion locally before I do anything too outrageous. I’m fairly open to any relationship as long as it’s not bound by strings, I’m not stupid you know.” Didn’t think I implied that you were Savannah. “I always practice safely with anyone that catches my fancy. I may be wild, but I’m not dumb as to do something that would hurt anyone.”

“Look, that’s not why I asked you to come out here with me!” She leaned back at the force of my confused anger, because I was definitely discombobulated here. Savannah went to open her mouth, only for me to stop her by stating something. “Also, I’m quite sure that I’m straight before you ask if this about me testing my orientation.”

“Well aren’t you close minded, you’re a ‘yes’ by the way. I think your curse would just make things more interesting.” She tittered gaily into her paws while he tail whipped around excitedly. “Then again, you do have the world’s most polite Viking for a boyfriend.”

“You do realize that Jade identified as gay right?” That made her reel back in shock, I blinked in confusion. Why was that such a surprise to her? “I’m not a bigot if I’m okay with my sister dating a chimera and a unicorn. You remember Maries? That’s one of Jade’s girlfriends, not to mention that Jade’s an Abyssinian too.”

“I never implied you were bigoted, just close minded on the fun you could be having. Still, little Jaded is gay? Huh… well it makes sense why she would never looked at a Tom twice when she was so much busier eyeing Queens. I’ve certainly known a good Queen or two in my time.” Crossing her arms and looking to the sky, Savannah tilted head back and forth in thought. She eventually turned her gaze back down to me while nodding. “Yep, that definitely makes sense.”

“You seem utterly surprised by the revelation.” If I kept speaking in bland tones I might eventually turn into Fizzle, I wondered how she was doing.

“You’ve probably heard the whole song and dance about Abyssinian promiscuity, so why don’t I cut out the middle mutt and skip to the reason we’re out here.” Her tail flicked back and forth as she directed a sultry gaze my way. “I really have to ask, is my magical fur dye wearing off?”

“Not that I can tell, what is your natural fur color anyway?” I gestured at her as I elaborated on my thoughts. “Midnight Blue never seemed right to me, but it works on you pretty well.”

“Why thank you! Brown with black stripes, a unique coloration, but a bit boring in a way. Jade probably only saw me while I was neon orange or white, both with black stripes.” She looked a bit defensive about something. “Magical fur dye isn’t exactly cheap you know, the midnight blue color is really rare to get since Princess Celestia regulates this one color pattern like nothing else.”

“It might have to do with Princess Luna, Celestia’s long lost sister.” I sighed and looked at the ground solemnly. “Missing my own sister, I can absolutely see where she’s coming from now. I don’t have a thousand years’ worth of lifespan to wait for her to come back though; I think Luna is coming back in the next Summer Sun Celebration.”

“Hey don’t look so glum, Jade’s a resourceful little minx and we saw her fire right? I’m sure that if we can’t figure out something, then maybe she will? I mean, we know she’s around at least in some respect.” This just reminded me how much Savannah knew about Jade before I ever met her, Jade had to have used that fire in front of her at some point. “So what are we doing out here?”

“I wanted to learn how to fist fight better, we’re going to be stuck here in Zebrica for a while as I make some changes to The Ardent Survivor. I’ve had some training with Jade, but she was always far more squirrelly than I can ever hope to be with my brand of luck.” Never taking hits and always doing what she can to avoid them, that doesn’t always work from my experience. When Jade did take hits, they were always somewhat nasty injuries. “I’ve picked up a few things from mom or Kuril if you will, but it’s not exactly up to my armed combat skills. I can’t just walk into a bar and do crazy things while getting away unscathed.”

“Yeah, Jaded hardly ever stood still in a fight. She’s got the stamina to be a great evasion tank, but she couldn’t take too many heavy hits.” Blinking at Savannah, I titled my head curiously at her and hoped she understood my current confusion. “Ever heard of Ogre’s and Oubliettes? I play a mean monk class, bare fisted or claws all the way! The mental exercise goes a long way to helping with the actual physical stuff, though I doubt I’d be able to punch pressure waves of raw energy out of my fists. As long as you know the difference between reality and fantasy, you can do some pretty weird things where they meet.”

Savannah could punch pressure waves if she knew magical alchemy, I mean Jade didn’t always necessarily need to fire magic missiles from her palms.

“Like actually seeing a ten foot pole eating monster?” The squealing noise stunned me and Savannah was suddenly in my face.

“It’s real, oh my goodness that’s so amazing! Do you suppose there’s one around here, I need to go get out my collapsible… trouble.” She was excited for one second and then she just stopped flat to narrow her eyes, said eyes looked almost feral as she backed up towards me clenching her jaw. “Get ready for a fight.”

“I don’t see anything though.” Nothing around, but grassy plains and large diamond dog like… the holes? I was immediately on guard, I reached behind my back for my weapons only to be stopped by Savannah. She shook her head at me while smiling.

“Nothing teaches like experience, don’t punch anything heavier than you, kicks work better in those instances and can be used to push yourself away from whatever’s attacking you. It helps if you know how to roll with a kick off. Always be wary of your surroundings when you are unarmed.” She pointed herself towards a nearby hole and held up her fists, her ears flicked once or twice as she settled into a stance. “This should be fun, I wonder what they are and what they want with us.”

A somewhat tall figure erupted from the ground with a spear, painted in tribal colors. It looked like a giant and far more intelligent meerkat than the regular ones that I saw around here.

Several more popped up around us out of the ground, they were pretty fast with their digging. Comparable to diamond dogs considering we were completely surrounded. This might get a little rough.

“Oh yeah, this is looking like a brawl already!” Growled out Savannah. “Bring out your A game captain, these guys look aggressive!”

Savannah dodged around a spear thrust and pulled the weapon’s shaft up under her left armpit, then she sharply twisted back and to the left. This pulled her opponent towards her, where she then kicked the meerkat harshly in the chest with her right leg.

The meerkat looked befuddled as it was sent rolling across the ground and he was groaning when he came to a stop on his belly.

“Trust me, I’m more than you can handle on a good day!” Savannah tossed the spear away and held up her fists while bouncing back and forth, actively looking for another meerkat to try their luck with her. She then turned to me. “Watch your back captain!”

I turned at the sudden movement near me and ducked an axe swinging for my head. I shifted my right foot out, grappled my opponents left leg with my clawed toes and pulled my leg back to throw him off balance.

The meerkat looked a little shocked when I threw a straight right into his face knocking him down and out. I caught the falling axe by the handle and held it threateningly at the other meerkats around us.

“Nice one, now get ready it seems there’s more of them!” Savannah called out while putting her back to me.

“Well, at least they aren’t highland pukwudgies.” I muttered loudly to myself, an arrow hit the ground between us and I heard the sound of drums, not the normal kind of war drums that the highland pukwudgies were known for either.

We and the still arriving meerkats turned to the approaching horde of pukwudgies, one particular one had a blade strapped to his back and was wearing a smiling demon mask and armored slats.

Said pukwudgie was riding on a lizard and pointed towards us in dramatic fashion. Behind him I could see a small tower with proportionally sized neighpon taiko drums on it.

The mounted pukwudgies behind that one pulled out tiny bows and started to nock their quills as makeshift arrows. The demon masked pukwudgie leader rode in front of the archers saying ‘gabba’ a whole bunch and then he draws his small blade, which was long for him, and pointed it towards us.

“Samurai pukwudgies?!” I said in disbelief before Savannah and I, along with the meerkats that were about to start attacking us in greater numbers, scattered to dodge the first volley of well-aimed quills coming at us.

That was when a wave of tiny spear wielding pukwudgies charged us in a formation.

-Three hours later-

“Hold still captain, just one more.” Says Savannah, who I noted didn’t take several quills to her butt like I did. “I’d say you did very well out there! Except that part where you accidentally caused a few explosions and then we got assaulted by small fire breathing ants, but overall it went pretty well.”

“Thank you for not making this awkward for me Savannah.” I felt her quickly squeeze my butt and I yelped out, I glared at her innocent face. “Hey, don’t do that!”

“Sorry, couldn’t resist!” She said grinning at me in a silly manner. “You’re rather beautiful, even covered in scars and injuries as you are, most of them aren’t even visible underneath all your down.”

“Yeah, my feathers tend to hide the worst bruises, except around my eyes.” Which is covered in white down, makes it easier to know when I had black eyes.

“So that didn’t quite go how you thought it would, but you still held up pretty well out there.” She started bandaging my left shoulder. “Are you sure you need my help with fighting?”

“I needed my weapons to survive, so yes.” Mostly where injury was entirely unavoidable. “Thank you for coming out here with me Savannah, but I think I’m going to spend the rest of the week working on the ship.”

“That sounds fair, after the fight we just had.” She then finished tying off my bandage and went over to start patching up the meerkats, she started with a female meerkat nearest to us. “Do you think these large meerkats would mind if I tested the waters?”

“Yes, so don’t do anything crazy Savannah!” I received a bright grin. “No, you are not doing anything with those tribal meerkats, even if they did help us against the pukwudgies.”

“Aye Captain Blackcap, no meerkat nooky for me, I understand completely!” She rolled her eyes and started helping the meerkats.

Everyone on my crew always had a medical kit on them, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry about that. The medical kits were entirely necessary and the medical skills of my crew were getting slightly absurd, it also helped that we had ‘First-aid for Dummies’ to read as a pastime.

Mom thought I’d need that book more than she would, what with her having Dr. Bones on call. She was completely correct, it’s been quite helpful for all the injuries so far.

-Airship Mauled, The Witch’s Fare, Fresh Start-

“She’s able to cook that, she just doesn't want to make potato stew. I think it’s connected with what happened to her daughter, so nobody is allowed to order it.” I told our most recent customer. “Please don’t ask about it either, it’s quite upsetting.”

A group of rowdy griffons stalked into the restaurant, they looked like trouble.

“Excuse me, but I have something to take care of… Sugar front and center!” The little pink horned rabbit got up and ran over to me looking about for trouble. “Sir’s I would suggest that you don’t get too rowdy around here.”

“What are you going to do to stop us if we are pony?” Looking to the leader of the griffons, I simply pointed to Sugar. “That’s your plan to get us to leave? Guys… let’s wreck the place!”

Sugar grew to the size of a bear and not too long after Maries helped with their clean up.

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