Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter fifty one, Welcome to The Volcano: Warm.

-The Volcano, Lower Tier, Arizona-

So the Huoshan Guard were a bit high strung about Paprika, sure they might have had a few reasons for it the last time she was here. She was a bit of a loose cannon, even now given how she was currently running around and hugging people behind Tianhuo’s back.

Every time Tianhuo turned around to look our way, Paprika would always be standing calmly right between Velvet and me with a simple smile. The second she looked away, Paprika would already be snuggling against someone else.

I snorted audibly with a hint of a chuckle lodged in my throat. Velvet just rolled her eyes and shook her head at Paprika.

Paprika was just being friendly, I don’t see any problems with her just being the happy hug monster that she is. Though I can kind of get why she was considered such a terror to some.

“Would you stop doing that… please?” Tianhuo turned around and finally caught Paprika in the act. Paprika whined, but she still let go of the poor blushing longma that she had grappled onto like a leech. “So as I was saying, since I’m giving you a tour of our orderly…”

Something exploded in a volatile manner in the distance that looked like it involved tomato sauce and pasta.

After seeing that column of white powder go high up into the air, I had some suspicions as to who might be around and this new incident was making said suspicions that much stronger. I could be wrong, but the random disasters occurring nearby were usually strong signs of Jacky being in the area.

If Jacky was here, her luck definitely hasn’t gotten any better.

“Is today not a good day to say that we’re a quiet and peaceful people?” Tianhuo muttered with her eyes close. “I assure you that the Huoshan Guard will take care of whatever the problem happens to be.”

“Looks like a giant flying spaghetti monster.” That’s what I was seeing in the distance at least. The thing didn’t look like it had very much physical strength, but it was making a huge mess everywhere.

How can something so interesting be so boring to look at? It probably wouldn’t be a good fight.

“I’m going to ignore it.” Tianhuo stated calmly, but her left eye was twitching violently. “It’s just a distraction from keeping ‘her’ under… control?”

“Hi there, your friend here is really cuddly!” We all turned to see an Abyssinian wearing a skull cap that had a pink heart on it. I wondered why I was suddenly filled with a sense of mortal dread to see her hugging a slightly happy looking Paprika. “Say… are her medical records up to date?”

That sense of dread just worsened for some reason, also despite liking the hug Paprika started squirm a bit in the Abyssinian’s grasp. For some reason Paprika wanted out of the cats grip despite liking the affectionate snuggle she was caught in. I think she knew something was instinctively wrong here.

“You know Velvet, it’s not often that I see someone actively hugging Paprika.” The chill going down my spine, I didn’t understand it. “Besides us.”

“Yes, well, it does seem our loving wife is receiving some friendly cuddles from a stranger.” Velvet held a hoof up to her chin. “Though I can’t help but feel a sudden sense of horror… do you feel it too?”

“This adorable alpaca is your wife? Are you guys open to the idea of sharing?” The Abyssinian grinned and Paprika looked slightly confused about… did she just say sharing? “Well I mean you will need to show me some medical history, but you all look pretty spry and healthy to me. Tell me, are you active in your relationship as a herd?”

“We’re not exactly active ‘like that’ and we’re going to wait on it.” My sense of dread was rising and this character didn’t even seem like a fighter on our level. “At least until we’re ready.”

“Hmm… really… but…? Oh I get it! You don’t know how to perform as a herd do you? I’ll break out the sock puppets and teach you some things! You don’t have to worry about me interrupting your dynamic as I will take 'no' for an answer if you’re not willing to share. I still think you’ll need to learn the finer points of how to please one another!” As soon as the Abyssinian said that, Velvet’s pupils shrunk to dots and she had a horrified look on her face. She shot me a look that gave me a command that I agreed with as the Abyssinian closed her eyes. “Hello I’m The Wild Savannah and I’ll be your instructor in… hey wait! Where are you going? I just want to help you three strengthen your relationships with one another!”

“Oh goddesses… she’s chasing us!” Velvet shouted as I ran with a thoroughly confused Paprika held up above my head. Tinsel just hovered after us with a bored look on his face.

“Hey stop, I can’t let those three out of my sight, who knows what that alpaca will get into or destroy this time if I do!” Tianhuo started following us as well. “Don’t make me lock the lot of you up together!”

“Wow this could get kinky real fast!” The one named Savannah yelled as she ran after us with a crazy giggle.

We picked up our pace significantly and made sure Paprika wouldn’t understand what was going on, as we would protect her innocence from the crazy Abyssinian.

Even if Paprika already knew how to kiss and snuggle in a saucy manner, we did not need Paprika to getting any hints that there was something beyond that.

-Upper Tier, Huoshan Spa, Flamberge-

“So she might have been on the verge of mentally collapsing when we got there, but we saved Autumn from hurting herself further and helped her to survive better in the wilderness! Where once was a ragged, tired and depressing Kirin, there is now a slightly more upbeat positive kirin who is far less depressing!” I can see that Nefer liked some of our tales of friendship. “I honestly don’t know if she’ll ever find a cure for her people though, I hope that poor mare is doing fine all on her own! Okay Sweetcakes you can stop… er… she’s not rubbing up against me?!”

“She is leaving with Skelly, I am wondering what kind of problems they’ll get into. I am expecting something bad to happen when it becomes night.” My brother Fortitude answered. “I am also wondering why you didn’t notice that Sweetcakes wasn’t bothering you.”

“You guys are really nice like Gene… and this massage…” Nefer purred out as his body figuratively melted from the pair of blue hooves calmly pressing into his back. The longma here at the spa looked to be quite good at their jobs.

“Why, what happens at night?” Flotsam asked as she was getting a back massage by pair of pink hooves. “You just got here and there’s no one who could possibly have a problem with you. Aside from the spa, given you teleported into the place. Your boat is going to be a problem to get out...”

Somewhere, Dispel Grace was probably sneezing up a storm.

“Don’t worry, we’ll teleport Travel On out of here once we’re done with our quest here.” I didn’t offer up more explanation than that and I wanted to go find Gene.

“Skelly gains the appearance of a skeleton at night, she is being very friendly despite that appearance. She is also still having pretty hair even after her change.” Fortitude might have something of a slight attraction for Skelly, I could see it when it came to her daytime form. The nighttime skeletal form was a bit iffier. “The change is not being painful, it is just how she is. She scares people less during the day when she looks like an average pony.”

I would like to believe that Skelly and Sweetcakes couldn’t get into too much trouble, mostly because Sweetcakes hasn’t shown any destructive or mischievous tendencies that she’s been hinted at having and Skelly has a good skull on her neck.

Of course if Sweetcakes tendencies weren’t showing because she was mostly focusing her efforts on me instead of her surroundings, then things might be a little worse than a skeleton simply just appearing in the middle of a slightly militaristic city full of longma. Flotsam really liked her cultural research and had told us a few things about The Volcano.

If it came down to a problem with Travel On being parked here, we’d use diplomatic ties as an excuse to not bother our boat before we leave the spa. Fortitude was still technically the king of Minos, unless they found someone else since we left.

“So when you’re done here, do you two want to walk around the city with us?” I offered because we’d likely find our brother faster that way.

“Sure, I bet Gene is going to be so happy to see both of you!” Nefer was an excitable little guy.

-Middle Tier, Huoshan Bar and Grill, Sweetcakes-

We both entered the bar out of curiosity, I have decided to take a break from my passionate dragon hunting to find a place with good sweets. From the rumors I heard on the street, this bar had some famous bean buns and I was looking to trade recipes.

Skelly was gawking at the sights and I kind of felt a familiarity with the surrounding architecture, we were basically tourists until we found out why we were here. We already knew why Fortitude and Flamberge were here, it was so they could meet their brother and possibly catch up with him.

Why were we here personally though? I don’t mean that in a philosophical sense, why were Skelly and I important to this general location? Even with those questions in mind, I have enjoyed our many adventures… except for the ones where those things called ‘Eldritch Abominations’ popped up.

I idly knocked over a salt shaker of a nearby table with my fake dragon tail as I turned to the bar, I was good at making it look entirely accidental.

The shaker spilled a single spherical grain of salt onto the floor while I moved up to take a seat in front of the bartender. I opened my mouth to give him my request to trade recipes when he surprised me thoroughly.

“True form please.” The bartender called me out immediately with but a single glance from the glass he was cleaning. I was a little shocked and I was about to say something when he interrupted me again. “We don’t like changelings skulking around here, unless you happen to be part of a particular colorful mariachi band with a dancing shrew. In that case you’d be alright if you were a changeling, but I know you’re not one so you should be good. You’re transformation is decent to the unobservant, but you don’t give off the same air as an actual dragon. Nice try though, so again, true form please.”

With a twitch of my magic my yellow dragon form quickly shifted into my real self, a smiling three tailed fox.

“A kitsune? I thought you might have been Celestia wandering around again. Don’t see your kind outside of Neighpon very often.” So the bartender has apparently met Celestia before, I have as well. The ruler of the equestrian territories was really nice for someone with the kind of stress her job piles up on top of her on a daily basis. “She does that from time to time, heard her sister came back recently.”

I can see why Celestia has been said to have been through so many protégés, she really needed someone to take up the slack for the work load she was forced to live with as a princess of her people.

Fortitude apparently didn’t have nearly as many problems with Minos, but he really didn’t even try. I personally attributed the turn around to Flamberge bringing up the economy by buying that spear for his brother Gene, Skelly being a good general by keeping an open mind and I personally made baked goods and somehow started a nationwide bake sale.

Our trip to Minos was really odd.

“Recipe exchange, would you be willing to do, between me and you?” As I asked this a unicorn with a pith helmet and a monocle marched in… only to promptly slip on a single well placed particle of salt.

The pony, upon losing his balance, hit a chair. He flipped over said chair and his rear hooves struck the edge of a table. The table flipped and slammed down on top of him, but not before hitting him with multiple bottles that shattered and covered him in various fluids along with what looked to be a full jar of marmalade.

“Sure thing, also nice trick.” Blinking at the longma bartender, I couldn’t believe he actually caught me out on that. “It was still that ponies fault for falling into my stuff, so it’s not on you. Let me start by asking you, which recipe do you want and what recipe can you exchange for it? I might already have yours.”

-Gene-

Those were some pretty unique monkey shines close to what Jacky could pull off with a banana. Here I was just enjoying some steamed buns, a local delicacy with several unique flavors and I still haven’t found anything on the temple that Jacky was looking for information on,

Now Teatime was here, so that's trouble. There was also two other ponies with him.

“Hah, wimp! See Dispel, that’s what you get for relying too much on technology, no sturdy hoofing and you can’t walk straight at all.” Okay that pegasus pony with the wild hair looked like he took too many lightning bolts to the head, he was talking to an armored pony with a large sword. “Unicorns don’t rely on their bodies well enough!”

I popped a bun into my beak and watched as they picked up Teatime and carry him over to a booth.

“Yes, it is rather amusing that our comrade has three left hooves Shock, but he is not always this incompetent or else he wouldn’t be in the organization. He’s seen far more success recently than we have.” The armored earth pony grunted out sourly. “I do not see why GODLESS is still paying that mercenary Caballeron, especially not when we are the ones that were sent here to deal with the next clue on what seems to be a rather elaborate goose chase in his stead.”

“Don’t care, as long as I can find some good fights around here.” Even as the one that was called Shock spoke, I noticed that the three tailed fox and her pony reacted to hearing the word ‘GODLESS’.

Jacky’s volcanic temple treasure had to wait.

I stood up and carefully made my way over to the two sitting at the bar while trying not to stare at the three GODLESS agents that were here. Teatime didn’t have the greatest of memory outside his narcissism, so maybe he hopefully forgot who I was.

“Hey I have too many of these to eat by myself, would you two ladies want some?” I asked politely and the silver haired one with the blue scarf and axe smiled.

She took up my offer and I quickly made some new friends.

Author's Note:

The temperature is slowly rising... are you baking at four hundred degrees?

Comments

[Herald of Opera]

And I somehow just noticed that you have a "one of each tribe" setup going for the named GODLESS OCs. Probably should have realized that the streams would converge with the villains as well as the heroes back when Dispel Grace showed up and made it official.

[Booster Spice]

Will Sweetcakes pranks be CMC class overcharged when applied to Jackie, or will things counteract? Like the trick where a drunken sailor can walk accross the ship in a storm?

Poor Paprika.

[Shadowshame]

OK first off how...d j just how do you trip on a single fragment of salt?(the very definition of illogical>) oh right forget that question

It seems the temperature is rising with each chapter until it all erupts.