Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter thirty five, Far North of Normal: Living in interesting Times.

-Wilderness, Velvet-

I grit my teeth as I struggled to keep my balance, my hooves were currently digging a furrow through the dirt and snow.

Arizona wasn’t pulling her hits today and this last one had stung, but I managed to stay on my hooves despite that. I could even hear Tinsel cheering me on in an cute manner.

Tinsel’s worship of me was a little disturbing, but I’ve been around Ice Sprites long enough to know that there was no deterring them.

I had woken up today with my floof expertly cared for already. Thanking Tinsel for that, I then let him know that if he were to ever damage my floof he was going to be punted over the horizon.

He agreed with me readily that he’d deserve as such or even worse punishment if he were to ever defile me in such a manner.

It’s a good thing we understood one another.

“Can you keep going or is that all you have today Velvet?” That attitude of yours needed a slight adjustment Arizona and I was just the one to do it. “You still fretting about the fact that we’re only a few days away from Rein, if Paprika is right in what she showed me.”

Paprika nodded while bouncing in place happily, she looked like she wanted to get in a round or two of play with either of us. We knew what her form of playing was.

“Don’t remind me, but yes let’s continue wailing on each other as we are want to do!” I charge forward and sent out a flurry of hoof swings which Arizona blocked and then she tried to spin into my guard to throw a straight right hoof using her spin. I managed to back off and slapped her several times across the face, not that I could damage her rock hard face with anything more than a prolonged concentrated effort. “Seriously my buffoonish bovine, why do you keep trying to do that same move over and over again?”

“Well you and Paprika have your magic, so I want to be able to do something like the 'Little Mach righter' with either of my hooves!” A what, what was Arizona on about? “I do need to keep up with you and Paprika in my own way after all, it'll give me something of a projectile attack to match your ice shards and Paprika’s absurd amount of flower pots.”

“What is this ‘Little Mach righter’ exactly?” I was curious as to why Arizona would want to do what sounded like a special technique that I could vaguely recall Jade doing.

“Well it’s this hoof technique that was created by an earth pony that…” Arizona was interrupted by a roar and a charging Salamander that was too big for Paprika to hug into submission, she happened to be the closest one to it and she charged it back. “Excuse me, I was trying to tell my girlfriend about one of the greatest pony boxers in recent history!”

Arizona ducked the fire the Salamander breathed at her while spinning counter clockwise twice and after dragging her hoof along the ground, it began to glow brightly. She launched said hoof up into the tip of the salamander’s nose with full force, I could even swear I saw her hoof catch fire before it hit.

The blow sent a ripple throughout the salamander's red flesh all the way from its nose to its tail, then it seemed to rocket off into the distance at insane speeds through multiple trees where a loud crash and a roar of agony was heard.

The salamander we saw after Arizona's hit connected, it had simply been a delayed after-image that followed what had actually happened to the salamander.

“Wow… I finally did it!” Arizona’s thrust her hooves into the air, only to grunt and started to stomp out her burning hoof into the snow. It actually did catch fire… huh. “Ow, ow, ow… darn it all this hurts!”

Paprika hopped up to Arizona wearing a nurse’s hat and carrying a medical kit, I just gave her a flat stare when she winked at me in saucy manner. I better do something about Arizona’s hoof, I didn’t trust Paprika to solve medical issues by just kissing them away.

-Some time later, Arizona-

I looked at my bandage hoof with pride and Tinsel now seemed amazed with my raw strength.

Now I was watching Velvet take Tinsel off to the side to train with him. Paprika snuggled up against me and I smiled faintly, she was so soft and fluffy. Velvet should really lighten up and give the alpaca some love.

“Okay, what’s the best you can do Tinsel?” Hopefully Velvet didn’t expect too much from the sprite, because I certainly couldn’t. Considering the tiny guy couldn’t even defend himself against an owl, I just couldn’t think of him as threatening.

Holding his tiny little limbs above his head, the Tinsel concentrated and squeaked loudly as he formed a snowball in an instant. To Tinsel, the meager snowball was like a mighty boulder.

“Very good, now throw it at Paprika!” Don’t know why Velvet was encouraging him, there was no way he could possibly throw it with any strength to…

The snowball slammed solidly into Paprika’s face knocking her away from me and sent her tumbling a good ten feet, I just blinked in confusion. What just happened, did the little guy just seriously do that?

He might be small, but that was some really good throwing power for something of Tinsel’s size.

“Ice Sprites are notorious for being very helpful in snowball fights. Who’s a good familiar, you’re a good familiar, yes you are!” Velvet just started to tickle the sprite and had him giggling within seconds. “Now let us see if you can boost my ice magic. I only want you to assist me with my magic when I either signal you or tell you to help me, do you understand Tinsel? I don’t want you to amplify my magic without my input, right now you can do so freely while I shape a statue out of ice. I want you to assist me in making whatever it is you feel we should make.”

The little sprite nodded and bowed to Velvet, she had him wrapped around her hoof quite literally with the hug he was giving her. They were about to start when Velvet turned in my direction, but she wasn’t looking at me.

“Paprika, you let that mountain lion go this instant!” Velvet yelled at her, the alpaca was currently cuddling a very frightened and confused mountain lion. Paprika pouted a little, but still let the mountain lion go, it ran for the hills as soon as she did. “Honestly, can’t look away from her for a second or else she starts doing things like snuggling dangerous carnivores behind our backs. Now where were we? Ah yes, forming a statue with the help of Tinsel.”

I watched them work together to start sculpting an ice statue.

With the ice sprite assisting her, the statue came out really fast. Velvet made a statue of herself and I think Tinsel made a few interesting additions to it, given I doubted that Velvet had angel wings and a halo.

“Oh how adorable of you!" Velvet looked embarrassed about it. "Seeing me as an angel.”

“I certainly see you as something alright, but it would be with horns and a spade tipped tail.” I grinned at the look Velvet sent me, she turned back to Tinsel.

“Your ability to assist me is really quite good Tinsel. Now I want you to help me with forming an attack.” Velvets words made the sprite excitedly jump up and down. “Now follow my lead, a one and two and shoot!”

Both Velvet and Tinsel seemed to move in concert with one another and a shard of ice, about twenty percent larger than what Velvet usually does, launched off into the air and struck a stealthy griffon that had been diving straight for us. It carried the hostile bird off into the distance.

“What was a griffon was doing way out here in the middle of nowhere?” Several things dropped to the ground before me and I picked up a knife. “It must have been a bandit, eh no big loss.”

-Bandit-

“… ow…” I whined quietly in pain as I looked at the large chunk of ice between my legs that had plowed me into the snow.

-Velvet-

“Well if the griffon was a bandit they got what they deserved… Arizona maybe you should start watching Paprika carefully.” Looking around because Velvet mentioned it, I didn’t see Paprika anywhere.

-Bandit-

I eventually got the large chunk of ice off of me and upon standing up I came face to face with a smiling… alpaca?

What… no… please… anything but that!

-Arizona-

We turned to the sound of a blood curdling scream.

“Paprika must have went after him, I kind of feel sorry for the guy now. I don’t think he deserves what’s happening to him.” Shaking my head I looked to Velvet. “Well what are you waiting for Velvet? Continue with what you were doing with Tensil, Paprika will come back as soon as she’s done breaking that poor griffon.”

-Bandit-

If I ever get out of this hug alive, I’m turning over a new leaf... ribs failing, air lacking, and current ability to manage existence called greatly into question!

Help… mommy... so… fluffy...

-Some time later, Paprika-

Griffon was a bit grime covered, so I washed us off in a nearby streamed and came back to true loves.

Little ice maker was very snuggly looking, but Velvet didn’t want me to snuggle him as it could hurt him… more reindeer snuggles for me then!

I wiggled my rump and pounced on Velvet and dragged my tongue along her face to let her know I loved her and then I did the same to Arizona. We’re a happy family!

Except Velvet didn’t seem happy to be going to her home in Rein.

I understand, her home wasn’t very nice to her and they really didn’t seem to like me for some reason.

I couldn’t fathom why, I had only destroyed one house in Rein forty seven times because it was close to where Velvet lived. That and on top of randomly starting three village wide destructive fires, I don’t understand why they disliked me. Did I make that fountain implode that one time?

It could have been the thing with the pumpernickel bread and all the cheese and butter I ate. That was a tasty adventure, though emptying the cupboard into my stomach without asking if I could was probably a bad thing.

Maybe it was that I wasn’t loving all the reindeer hard enough. Reindeer needed more love and needed to be less nose in the air about everything around them.

With Tinsel around, maybe the other ice sprites won’t completely avoid me this time?

We were so close to Rein now, I’d get to see all the reindeer again and would maybe hug a few for old time’s sake.

I thought of how my mom was proud of me and is happy that I’m happy. I don’t understand why so many looked at all the reasons to be sad or angry, when there was so much more to be happy about in this world full of wondrous things!

-Just shy of Rein, Arizona-

My right hoof was still a bit burnt, but it was healing fast with the last day or so being entirely boring. I still wondered what it was that let me pull a Little Mach. Was it dragging my hoof against the ground or was it the extra spin I put into it?

My ability to hit hard was just as good as Paprika being super cuddly and Velvet having icy farts. I guess my rope was something magical, but how often would I really use that? Fairly often.

Still, being the brawn of this group was feeling mighty fine from where I was sitting, right next to Velvet with Paprika snuggling against our backs affectionately.

“Paprika…” I started slowly.

“Hm?” Paprika answered with a hum as she nuzzled her face against my neck.

“If you, Velvet or I aren’t pulling the sleigh then who is?” We all looked to the tiny being struggling to pull the weight of the sleigh, Tinsel wasn’t very successful at moving us. Still that he managed any movement at all was surprising, we had maybe moved a millimeter since he started attempting to pull the sleigh.

“Paprika, get back to moving the sleigh or so help me!” The alpaca quickly heeded Velvet’s words after kissing her on the cheek, Velvet turned her sour look from Paprika and gave a bright smile to Tinsel. “Tinsel, be a dear and come back here to sit with me.”

The sprite did so eagerly and it looked tired from trying to move us, soon we were back up to speed and in the distance we could see our first glimpse of Rein. I’d never been here before, but Paprika and Velvet have a history with this place. Most of it bad from the way Velvet tells it.

“You know, we’ve been making Paprika pull the sleigh an awful lot, how about letting me pull you guys along for a change?” Adjusting the alpaca hat and scarf I was wearing, we waited on Paprika’s response.

Within seconds I was spitting into my hooves and had wrapped the roped around my waist, I started us moving forward with a powerful forward heaving motion. I heard Velvet, Tinsel and Paprika screaming as I ran forward, but the screaming wasn’t coming from behind me.

If it wasn’t coming from behind me then… I looked up as I felt a small tug on the rope around my waist and was quickly pulled into the air after the sleigh.

Maybe I had pulled it a little too hard at the start there.

After a few miles or so, I eventually swapped out with Velvet.

-Outside of Rein, Velvet-

I adjusted the rope harness a bit as I pulled us closer to town. It might have chafed a little, but this was excellent exercise for me and pulling a sleigh felt entirely natural somehow.

If you wanted something done well, then you had to do it yourself. I was not sleeping outside in a tent again!

Why we were so close to my cabin, I could practically… oh there it is.

Beyond the rather derelict cabin belonging to me was the village of Rein, home of the ice shaping reindeers of the north. Some buildings were brick, others were wood and rarely were some made out of straw.

I was home again, I felt a sense of dread as much as a sense of longing to spend some time among these streets, maybe see if the lake is frozen over enough to take my girls skating or we could visit the Spritely Spa if it is open.

Wait… did I just seriously think of them as my girls, I didn’t like Paprika like that… did I? Oh no, I’m actually beginning to feel attached to Paprika! Then again, maybe I had always been attached to that nuisance.

It’s like how longma made a killing on heating services around here for those that lived here who weren’t reindeer. Like them, Paprika lovingly became so innately ingrained into being a part of my life.

Author's Note:

I got nothing, am I doing anything wrong aside from the length of this story?

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Equestria has the weirdest Random Encounter Tables.

Im glad I did a quick read through basic Retro Game history or Id never have even heard of Little Mac, Boxing game. Now trying to remmeber where Ive seen Mach Punch. Hitmonlee?

[The Scarlett Mare]

Paprika hopped up to Arizona wearing a nurse’s hat and carrying a medical kit, I just gave her a flat stare when she winked at me in saucy manner. I better do something about Arizona’s hoof, I didn’t trust Paprika to solve medical issues by just kissing them away.

You know what? This particular mental image is one I've seen before, surprisingly. "The Alpaca Nurse".
Love it, too

[The Scarlett Mare]

The snowball slammed solidly into Paprika’s face knocking her away from me and sent her tumbling a good ten feet, I just blinked in confusion. What just happened, did the little guy just seriously do that?

Don't you remember that Snickers is surprisingly strong for her size?

[talontitanbane]

He might be small, but that was some really good throwing power for something of Tinsel’s size.

Tiny but mighty! He's a Chihuahua!

[talontitanbane]

We were so close to Rein now, I’d get to see all the reindeer again and would maybe hug a few for old time’s sake.

*Paprika walks into the village*
*Every reindeer in town stops and stares at her*
*Silence for a few seconds before a high pitched scream and one of the reindeer yells "The destroyer has returned! Run for your lives!"*
*Chaos ensues and discord appears from the future with a bag of popcorn to enjoy the show.*