Airship Mauled

by Darkonshadows

Chapter Seventy Four, Honey Moon’d: Waxing.

Author's Note:

Luna ruins the honeymoon plans and the herd has to find something else to do.

(Character Sheet # 2 unlocked)

-Somewhere undisclosed, Beach Bungalow, Paprika-

I stared at my wives happily as Arizona tried to crush Velvet in her sleep, while Velvet was kicking her with her rear left leg and chewing gently on one of her ears. It was adorable that they were still fighting each other even as they slept.

I looked around the room at all the pajama ponies I had pinned to the walls, ceiling and floor. They shouldn’t be here, this wasn’t their slumber party! Also what was up with all the weapons, one looked like a metal star that zipped right by me and nearly struck a stallion in his sheath.

I’m going to hug every last one of them and tie them up!

Dragging a pajama pony over to me with my fur I got him into a sleeper hold and snuggled him until he fell asleep in my hooves.

The other pajama ponies started struggling pretty badly and staring at me with wide eyes, but they couldn’t escape my smile or my fluff.

I shushed them as they were going to wake up my wives if they didn’t stop making so much noise.

Another tendril of fur reeled in a pajama pony.

I started snuggling him before he could even scream and the most he got out was a whimper.

-Las Pegasus, Poolside, Fizzle-

I sighed loudly, we though that Luna would be destroying the rest of the food court.

“Please tell me she at least took the chlorine out of the pool…” Whined Jade who was sniffling, my ire for Princess Luna was slowly rising as Jade stared at an Olympic sized pool full of grape gelatin. She was wearing a one piece bathing suit and she wanted to swim today.

Yesterday we were going to have fun sampling all the food in the food court, only Luna wrecked the food court.

Maries leaned down to sniff the blubbery mass.

“No, she didn’t.” Mara confirmed and Jade wilted.

“We can confirm with Marie’s sense of smell using her tongue that it’s not safe to eat.” Came Maria who huffed out a puff of fire.

“At least not for anything mortal anyway, but a goddess that can’t be poisoned is more than capable of eating it.” Stated Marie who was looking at the diving board

“Can someone help me, I’m stuck out here and I really need to pee.” A poor colt had half his body sticking out of the wobbling mass of purple.

“That’ll just make it even less edible…” A despondent looking Jade turned around and started to slowly walk away, I looked to Mara, Maria and Marie.

What could we do to cheer Jade up?

“Maries, go after Jade and make sure to get her a ball of yarn or do something to make her happy.” Nodding to me, they immediately set off to try and find a way to make Jade smile.

“Huzzah!” Luna slammed into the gelatin with a massive cannonball and sent the gelatin flying everywhere, along with that poor colt which I quickly grabbed in my magic and put down gently before he got hurt by slamming into a wall or the cement all around the pool. “The divinities of sugar shall make this day most delicious!”

I glared as the moon princess started to eat the gelatin she was churning as she dragged her way through it with her wings. Jade is too upset to petty kitty her, but I’m not above being a petty pony! Also today was clearly my fault and I was going to own up to that fact.

“Look at that Toothy Visage, it’s a purple blob monster with a pony trapped inside!” Sliding a gaze towards the pony that just spoke, next to him was a pony that looked at Luna’s flank. Said flank gazing pony then quickly turned into a small tornado, when said tornado ended he had morphed into a large bipedal wolf style diamond dog thing with sharp claws, muscles and large teeth dripping with drool.

Maybe that pony turned would take care of the situation? The wolf launched himself into the pool and I watched the saddest display of fighting in the history of transforming monsters. Luna was having way too much fun to even notice she was being attacked at all.

I sighed in disbelief, I really shouldn’t have told Luna that Honeymoons lasted a week. Our plans for this day were entirely ruined. Jade obviously didn’t want to swim around in toxic gelatin and I was right there with her.

“That mare is being attacked by a monster and she’s struggling in the gelatin, this looks like a job for… Admiral Puuuuukkkkkk-Maaaaarrrrre!” An earth pony mare with thick shaggy brown coat that hid her cutie mark, mane and tail… Tartarus it was easier to say that thick wild hair covered everything but her eyes and her hooves. She leapt out over the pool with her cheetah colored cape trailing behind her and her club held high.

She missed hitting the pony turned wolf monster entirely and I just slammed my hoof into my face, how did she missed the wolf monster when it was larger than the pony that it used to be?

Things were just kept getting messier as this went along as the gelatin was now flying everywhere because of the mare with the club. She had pegasi with her that were egging her on to beat the monster.

I heard a gasp from next to me and blinked as an unbelievably fluffy pink pony looking creature leapt into the gelatin and licked at it, then it started sinking into it. It soon let out a rather disturbingly shrill screeching scream.

Despite all of this Luna was ignoring it all, likely because she must have found some espresso and coffee again, plus she was on another sugar high. What would make this whole ridiculous scene complete?

“Look, there’s a party in going on in the pool Cozy!” I turned and saw yet another group that likely had some of their number that were related to the three from yesterday. Another Hungry Hushpuppy relative. One looked like one of Trap Complex’s relatives. Someone like that mare from the submarine team, only with skunk colored hair that also seemed to be a relative. It was the Hungry Hushpuppy relative that spoke. “This is our chance to play a gig with all the ponies it’s attracting!”

“Right, come on Cozy and the wussy cats, let’s play a pool side beat!” The somewhat attractive red furred Abyssinian said to a dull-witted looking blonde unicorn and a sassy looking zebra, both in cat costumes.

They quickly set up drums for the dull-witted looking unicorn, the zebra took up a pair of tambourines and Abyssinian pulled out a guitar and started to tune it.

“Cozy and the wussy cats, lovely tails and ears that match, lewd cart and happy flank smacks~.” The one called Cozy started to sing. “Fleet, Heat, a hopping song, you’re welcome, now listen along~!”

“Curry, curry!” Cozy’s two friends sang, as the three in the background ate some curry and advertised the Tasty Treat in Canterlot.

“See you in Persian, or maybe Prance~!” Cozy was pretty neat with the way she shook her hips and the song was decent, but everything going on was just plain ridiculous. “We could be with you, now watch us dance~.”

“See us do a bang flop~! There’s no difference where we do this at, we’re involved with our entire herd as a fact~.” Cozy sent the audience a sultry gaze, if I wasn’t already in a herd that would have been an invitation. “Cozy and her wussy cats, we love pets and tasty snacks~. Don’t flee, when we attack~. That’s when our fun begins, any fun we have with the guys is a win~. Cozy and the wussy cats~! Cozy and her wussy ca-ats wo-ooo~.”

That was a rather nice sounding song about Abyssinian promiscuity and their general openness in relationships. This pretty much confirmed that Savannah The Wild was not an outlier of her species, she was the example and clear stereotype with some minor restrictions of having an up to date medical history. I am so glad Jade is not that much of an open invitation.

“What is my life right now? I’m supposed to be having a good honeymoon with my wives and this is how things turn out?” Slowly closing my eyes, I groaned audibly and so wanted to ruin this insanity that was going on before me.

I have a mare with a pukwudgie style attitude flailing aimlessly around in a pool full of grape gelatin that Luna was working her way through at an insane rate. The pony werewolf thing was trying to attack Luna and was failing horribly because of how much the gelatin slowed them down. The mare that was wildly swinging her large wooden club around was closer to hitting Luna than the wolf monster.

I ignored the pink screaming creature, as she continued to slowly sink into the gelatin like quicksand.

The band with the curry and Abyssinian themed musicians had a skunk for a pet and if I remembered right the wolf monster kind of looked like one of Hungry Hushpuppy’s cousins. How many ponies related to each other were here at Las Pegasus?!

I just turned and trotted away from this mess, I had to find Maries and Jade. Hopefully Maries was successful in getting Jade back in a good mood.

-Ten minutes later-

I came upon the sight of Jade laying on her stomach while Maries gave her a back rub and had her purring happily. Her tail was wagging at least, so Maries was doing something right when it came to kneading our upset kitty’s back.

Mara leaned down and licked Jade’s cheek and she mewled cutely.

“Saw a bunch of mildly interesting things at the poolside, it might keep Luna busy for a while so we can maybe do something else?” The look I received from Jade was sad eyes and her tail going limp, she had her heart dead set on going swimming all day today and it certainly broke my heart. Like yesterday broke all our hearts that Luna destroyed the international food court. I bowed my head to my herd. “I’m sorry about setting of Luna off even more Jade, Maries.”

“It’s okay…” Jade’s hollow voice was really heart wrenching and Maries were giving me big watery eyes now too. Still, they look somewhat hopeful and they were looking to me to give them something fun to do because the thing Jade wanted to do would likely be ruined for the rest of our time here in Las Pegasus. “Please don’t suggest a roller coaster, they shut that down a long while ago.”

“I was actually thinking of using these three tickets to Trapeze Star and Bernard’s magical acrobatics extravaganza... I think you’ll like the earth pony magician’s show.” That had their interest at least and I could only hope that Jade was willing to take a possibly subpar activity.

“With stupidly expensive buttered popcorn too?” As Jade tentatively asked this, I had a slowly growing smile on my face.

“It’s not stupidly expensive, when it’s a steal…” That got my kitty up and excited. “I distract the counter guys and you get the popcorn for five?”

“You know how to speak my language Fizzy!” Jade threw her arms around me and nibbled at my neck happily, I just pulled her into a tight hug.

-Fifteen minutes later-

Enough popcorn to feed a chimera and three large drinks filled to the brim, nobody caught us and nobody could say we stole them. Jade was happy to get her greedy little heart’s desire for mischief today.

Admittedly the show was actually really quite amazing to watch, even to the point that Maries was enthused with it.

“Trapeze is amazing…” Jade said between the crunching noises of popcorn being mulched by her hungry maw.

“No what’s amazing are our mates.” All three heads of Maries stated while snuggling and kissing us.

“Yes, our herd is only just getting started.” I was really quite content as we watched a mare flip through the air with the greatest of ease while performing slight of hoof.

Trapeze did card tricks, she made things appear and disappear, she also got several volunteers to come up and let her perform magic on the stage with her. Her familiar Bernard was quite the talented little rabbit as he expertly helped Trapeze with her stunts and her magic, the fusion of doing both at the same time was rather awe inspiring to watch.

“Can I get another volunteer from the audience?” Trapeze called out. Her yellow fur and her expertly styled blue hair went with her glamorous shiny outfit. She looked about for various ponies and other creatures that came to watch this act that wanted to partake of it.

Jade waggled her brow at me and Maries, then raised her hand and formed a magic missile in it, but didn’t fire it. Once she attracted Trapeze’s attention she snuffed the magic missile before anyone noticed.

“Oh pick me!” Wildly waving her arm, Jade was grinning quite cheerful and I had to wonder what she was going to do on stage.

“Yes, you! The Abyssinian that seemed to shine for a moment, come on up.” At Trapeze’s beckoning, Jade ran up to the stage with a grin on her face as she pulled out a standard magician’s wand. She was definitely plotting something. “Now for my next trick, my assistant from the audience here will magically help me pull flowers out of this top hat.”

The mare went through the steps of showing that the hat was empty, I know Jade doing something with the hat and I was curious as to what.

“Okay now do what I said to do.” Instead of listening to Trapeze, Jade reached under her tail shocking the mare and making her jump away to reveal a bushel of flower. “How did you… wait, where did my hat go? It was in your other paw a second ago…”

“Why it’s on the chimera up there.” After Jade said that, I looked to my right and saw Marie looking up at the top hat on her head. “Specifically the adorable snake tail’s head.”

A spotlight turned to Marie who started blushing up a storm, Maria and Mara were chuckling under their breaths.

“How did you… the flowers… and then you…” Trapeze started to say only to be cut off by Jade.

“A magician never reveals their secrets, you know that Ms. Trapeze Star!” The audience started laughing and applauding as Jade took bow. “Now I believe these flowers I pulled out of you are for my wife next to the rather adorable and lovely chimera.”

Jade grinned and walked back up the aisle, once she reached me she planted a kiss on my lips as she gave me the flowers. She grabbed Trapeze’s hat from Marie and went back down to give it back to her.

“Thank you for your time, you’ve been a wonderful audience!” I just burst out laughing as Jade had just upstaged that amazing acrobat.

-The next morning, Maries-

Fizzy really knows how twist and shout…

“Huzzah, I am going to wipe out the other half of the food court, come join me my friends!” The alarmingly like clockwork Luna shouted in a loud tone as she ran off.

“Shopping?” Fizzy suggested.

“Yeah, let’s go shopping.” Agreed Jade.

Comments

[Herald of Opera]

Yeah, that's on the ninjas for trying to swarm someone. Everyone knows that ninjas are useless unless they're alone.

[Booster Spice]

Pity about Luna being let loose.. At least its in The Resteraunt At The End Of The Universe. Jade and herd can stock up in the Big Bang Burger Bar, where true Honnymooners go to?

Poor Flufflepuff. I thought she would be used to extra strong toxins with Markseline around?

The only wolfman thing I can think of is maybe back in the 70s, but Josie and the Pussycats from several mentions back then, and the remake.

Captain Caveman and the Teenangels.

Oh well, theres always the Moomins and the Wombles. Trying to think of old cartoon series that were mostly animal, alien or little humanoid.

Poor Pyjamarama. Paprika would find the Bananas in Pyjamas particularly a peel ing?

[talontitanbane]

10283363
Not true. They're effective as long as there are four or less.