• Published 27th Feb 2018
  • 3,229 Views, 43 Comments

Celestia the Expression - PixelMoon



Princess Celestia learns that her name is an expression ponies use everyday.

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Bonus: By Celestia’s Beard

Celestia the Expression

Bonus chapter by PixelMoon

(So many regrets)

~X~X~X~

Princess Celestia awoken from her slumber. The moon sat a little above the horizon. She lay in her bed for a few moments, enjoying the pleasure of half awake and half asleep.

Unwillingly, Celestia finally sat up from her fluffy bed and stretched her limbs, cracks echoing throughout the room. She sighed in relief and comfort and sat in her bed for a few minutes.

The desk in the bedroom opened with force. A book with a black cover rose from the dror. A pale yellow glow surrounded the book as it was levitated to Celestia.

She opened the book to the marked page and took out the bookmark. The alicorn read quietly until a burst of sound made itself known.

“SWEET MOTHER OF CELESTIA!”

Princess Celestia’s eye twitched. Not this again. She rose from her bed and headed to her balcony.

Staring down, she saw two ponies arguing. Instead of interrupting, Celestia levitated her blankets and pillows to protect herself from the cold.

The two ponies below continued to argue, completely oblivious to the sun goddess above them.

“With Celestia as my witness, I swear I won’t be accountable to what I’ll do if I spend one more second with you!”

Celestia’s eyes widened with interest. That was one she hadn’t heard from Twilight yet.

Grabbing a bag of chips and popcorn, the princess continued to eavesdrop into the conversation.

“- Likely story! I swear to Celestia, I’m going to make your mane appear on your chin!”

A spark of green magic glowed underneath the balcony. The next thing she knew, Celestia was stroking a beard.

...Wait. There shouldn’t be a beard there…

Celestia stared down at herself. A beard with blue, green, purple, and pink had appeared, and her hoof was currently stroking it.

“NOOOOOOO!!!!” she shrieked.

“What was that?” one of the ponies under her balcony asked.

“I dunno. But I’m glad that your spell backfired,” the other pony replied.

The former pony’s horn glowed green once more, and before he knew it, the second pony had a beard.

“...Oh shootballs.”

Celestia stared down with a confused stare.“Shootballs? Aren’t you supposed to say something with my name?”

The bearded pony facehoofed. “Oh right. Thanks, Celestia!”

Celestia frowned. “Don’t ever call me that. Only ponies who are close to me say that. Even then, Princess Twilight still says princess.”

He nodded. “Of course, your highness. Best apologies, your majesty.” He bowed and Celestia nodded with approval. “Now...where were we, Shadowfleek?”

Shadowfleek rubbed her chin. “Uh...I think we were at the part that you say a phrase with Princess Celestia’s name, Star.”

Celestia furrowed her eyebrows. “Star? Star who?”

“Starswirl, princess.”

Celestia sighed.“And thus Starswirl the Bearded was made,” she muttered.

“What was that, princess?”

“Nothing,” she lied with a roll of her eyes. “Continue, Starswirl.”

Starswirl nodded and put a hoof to his chin. Celestia continued to chew on popcorn, a bored expression of her face. Suddenly, he jumped up.

“I’ve got it!”

Celestia looked down at him while Shadowfleek turned her head to face him. They both stared and waited for him to say something.

“BY CELESTIA’S BEARD!” he yelled. Celestia’s eyes widened with horror.

She stroked her beard, eyes still filled with horror. “How could you say something about Beardy!”

Shadowfleek rose an eyebrow. “Didn’t I just give you that beard?” Celestia nodded. “That was less than ten minutes ago.

Celestia grabbed her beard and rubbed her face against it. She closed her eyes and murmured, “But we’ve been through so much…”

Shadowfleek rolled her eyes. Celestia then felt a pinch on her neck. She flew down to where Starswirl and Shadowfleek stood and slapped the unicorn on the face.

“Hey! What was that for?!”

“You rolled your eyes at me; a goddess. Unacceptable.”

“You didn’t even see me do it!”

“I felt it.” Celestia opened her eyes to their fullest extent, making Shadowfleek step back.

“For Celestia’s sake…” Celestia got closer to her. “I-I mean...uh...touche!”

Princess Celestia nodded and stepped back, her eyes still wide. “That’s what I thought…”

“Rar,” Starswirl randomly said, stroking his beard.

“RAR!!!!” Celestia yelleded in the Royal Canterlot voice. Shadowfleek and Star blew a mile away because of the force.

“YOU GUYS OKAY, RIGHT?” Celestia yelled.

“...My leg,” Star stated.

“MY HORN,” Shadow yelled.

After a few moments, Celestia spoke again. “...Yeah, I think they’re fine.”

Suddenly, Princess Luna burst into Celestia’s room, anger filled her expression.

“SISTER!” she yelled. “DO YOU SEE WHAT TIME IT IS?!”

Celestia glanced at her sister. “Aye, Luna. Like my beard?”

Luna gasped. “By Celestia’s beard!”

“That’s what I said…” Star weakly muttered from a mile away.

“...I WANT A BEARD!”

Celestia then cast a spell and gave Luna a beard. The two siblings had both forgotten about the question.

Luna pranced around Celestia, yelling at the top of her lungs.

“I HAVE A BEARDDD! I HAVE A BEARDDD!”

The moon sunk into the horizon. Neither Luna or Celestia noticed, unfortunately. Well, only unfortunate for Equestria’s citizens. Alicorns were immortal no matter what, so they didn’t even need the sun or moon.

Suddenly, a spark of pink magic interrupted Luna and Celestia. A very frantic Twilight Sparkle appeared.

“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! What are you doing?! The sun was supposed to be upten seconds ago!”

Celestia stared at Twilight. “Like my beard?” she asked.

Twilight nodded. “It’s lovely. Can I have one?”

After a flash of light, Twilight Sparkle then proceeded to join the Cult of the Two Sisters.

“I HAVE A BEARD! I HAVE A BEARD!”

Twilight jumped onto the Shadowfleek who had just arrived from walking a mile. “BY CELESTIA’S BEARD!”

“Yar,” Celestia said.

“YAR!” Luna echoed.

“...Yar,” Shadowfleek groaned.

"Wait!" Twilight suddenly teleported away from Celestia and Luna. She soon returned with five other ponies.

"Okay, I think we're good now," she said.

"BY CELESTIA'S BEARD!"

"Yar."

"YAR!" The mane five plus Luna yelled.

THE END

(For real this time though)

(...I think)

Comments ( 14 )

absolute bull crap... and i love every second of it.

:twilightsmile:Twilight Tested, Celestia Approved.:trollestia:

Hoists the Phoenix Blade in the air “YAR!”

Woah, that was a crazy chapter

YARR!!
I want a beautiful beard like theirs...

yarr har maties ehhe:pinkiecrazy:

Celestia's flaming tits!

8812796
oh god if they actually were...

No seriously, what in Discord's antler just happened?

8812796
We need a chapter with this!!!

I know this story ended forever ago, but can we maybe get a bonus chapter involving the expression, "Celestia's Flaming Tits"?

I just can't even...

So complete randomness then?

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