Chapter One, Part One: Opening Gambits
Princess Twilight smiled sadly as she observed her student, her daughter, and her former self read over the book that had set her on the path to becoming the Bearer of the Element of Magic all those years ago. She still missed the friends she had lost when she had become detached from her original causality, but she had grieved and moved on with her life, making new friends and starting a family of her own.
The Princesses (Celestia and herself) had initiated a discrete search for the young filly Twilight would end up taking in and raising as a beloved daughter shortly after the transtemporally displaced alicorn's arrival. A search made difficult by having only a name, coloration, and the name of a friend named Sunburst who would have just entered the magical education system. A search made tragic as by the time the young filly had been located, young Starlight Glimmer had just become even more alone in the world due to the loss of her parents.
Princess Twilight was still not sure if the search itself had somehow butterflied into the events leading up to the accident, or if the Starlight Glimmer she had fought simply hadn't gotten around to ranting about that part of her tragic past. Whatever the truth was, the revelation that Starlight the younger was now an orphan had removed any remaining desire Princess Twilight had harbored about sneaking into the palace gardens with a sledgehammer and crushing a certain statue into fine rubble.
Spike, or rather Spikoran now (to differentiate himself from his newly hatched and named native analogue), had been dubious about her adoption of the grieving filly, but the three had ended up bonding over their shared grief and had grown close as they finally put their pasts behind them and moved on with their lives, with the young Starlight Glimmer becoming Princess Twilight's very first personal student.
And a rather surprised Sunset Shimmer becoming Twilight's second personal student shortly afterwards, once the Twilight Princess had realized that the angry young mare hadn't run off through the Mirror Portal yet.
Princess Celestia hadn't initially known how to take the fact that her older student had been poached out from under her but, after seeing an immediate improvement in Sunset's attitude with the difference between her teaching methods and Twilight's, had graciously accepted that it may have been for the best.
And Sunset herself had...
Whups! It looked like the little study group was splitting apart, with young Twilight and Starlight rushing off to no doubt inform Princess Celestia of the impending return of Nightmare Moon. And her own apprentice no doubt seeking her out to accuse both Princesses of meddling. Again.
Which, to be fair, they were actually both guilty of this time, even if the cause was a good one.
“I know you’re watching this!” Sunset Shimmer called out as she looked around. “You can’t help looking in more personally whenever the two of you are up to something, and this has your hoofprints all over it!”
“I suppose it does at that,” Princess Twilight admitted as she dropped the invisibility spell and emerged from behind the bushes. When one has a purple coat, it was prudent to take that extra step when you wanted to be stealthy. Not that it always helped. “I notice that you don’t seem to be too upset with us this time.”
“It helps that you at least explained why the two of you need to be mysterious and ambiguous sometimes, even if I don’t always get the direct answers I want,” Sunset commented. “And, I suppose, it also helps that you have more free time to take a direct hoof in our studies. Thanks again for taking me on as your apprentice, by the way. I know your time with your daughter is precious to you.”
“Yes, she is,” Princess Twilight admitted easily. “But you, too, are my precious student. How could I not take you as my apprentice, having seen the potential you can reach? And… well… I may not have been as close with your other self as I was with my other friends, but we were still friends. And I like to think that we have become friends as well.”
“Tell me about her,” Sunset asked. “The other me, I mean. Sometimes I feel like I’m being set on a pedestal, and you’re holding me to some perfect standard or something. It’s kind of hard living in my own Shadow, y’know?”
“Why do you think I try to stay out of my younger self’s life so much? She has her own life to live. She shouldn’t be worried about trying to be me,” Princess Twilight stated with a slight smile. “But no, your other self was hardly some perfect paragon of virtue. She started out every bit as angry, frustrated, and resentful as you were when we were introduced. In fact, from what I was given to understand, she ran off to another world altogether shortly after I was taken on as another of Celestia’s personal students.”
“I ran away?” Sunset asked, having a hard time picturing herself doing such a thing.
“No,” Princess Twilight corrected, “she ran away. To another whole world slightly out of sync with ours, where time flowed more slowly than it did in the part of Neverwhen we came from. So she was still an angry teenager when I first met her. Granted, given that the portal transformed me into a teenage version of the local dominant species, and Spikoran became a dog, it might have just been that the portal itself was unstable.”
“What species did you turn into?”
“Something called a human. We don’t have them in our world. Picture a creature with the upper body of a hornless centaur and a lower body like an ape or monkey and you’ll be pretty close. Or like a smaller, less scary looking troll. Only generally skinnier for their size.”
“Weird,” Sunset commented as she tried to imagine what humans looked like. "And you probably should have started with the comparison to trolls."
"Probably," Twilight agreed, seeing her student's point. “Anyway, I got used to it pretty quickly. The hardest part, besides figuring out how to walk on just two legs, was dealing with hands. Imagine that, instead of having hooves at the end of your forelegs, they ended in a sort of flat panels with five wriggly miniature forelegs attached to them. Totally creeped me out the first time I saw them in place of my own hooves.”
“Don’t Spike and Spikoran have hands pretty much just like that?” Sunset asked, cocking a brow.
“Yes, yes, I know they do. Still freaked me out to actually have them myself though.”
“And, if I may note, we’re getting a little sidetracked,” Sunset observed. “Should I be worried about what you aren’t telling me about my other self?”
Princess Twilight sighed before responding. “Not really, but before I do tell you, I need to show you something so you can have some perspective. Walk with me.”
Sunset Shimmer trotted alongside the purple alicorn quietly until they eventually stood before one of the statues in the Palace Garden.
“Tell me, Sunset, do you know who this is?”
“This is Despair, right? I mean, the statue is called Despair of Loneliness, so that’s her name, isn’t it?”
“It is now, although she never went by it. She had another name once, but it was changed to protect the innocent.”
“Who was she?” Sunset asked. “The history books don’t say.” Then a disturbing thought occurred to her. “She’s not my other self, is she? I don’t see the resemblance.”
“No, she’s not your other self, although this could have potentially been her fate had she not realized how far she had fallen and reached out for help when she did. No, Despair was another pony altogether. One who had lost the only friend she ever had and had never made another afterwards to fill the gaping void left behind in her heart. One who blamed Cutie marks for this loss, and after her first plot was stopped, engaged in a mad scheme of revenge to wipe out the friendships she saw as the cause of her failure. Despair was a madmare, and a very powerful unicorn, and she tried to rewrite time itself, dragging Spikoran and myself along to rub her revenge in our faces.”
“Then why make a statue of her?” Sunset wondered. “I never really understood why such ponies or creatures got immortalized in stone in the Palace Garden alongside great heroes and historical figures.”
“Funny you should mention that,” Princess Twilight commented. “Immortalized in stone, I mean.”
“Wait… This is actually her!? The real Despair?” Sunset exclaimed in shock. She had heard rumors, of course, that some of the statues in and around the Palace had once been living ponies or monsters, but she hadn't thought that any of them were actually true.
“Yes,” the Princess explained sadly. “As I said, she was a madmare in complete denial on top of being a powerful and resourceful unicorn of with a truly great magical potential. And she had enough skill and knowledge to modify one of Starswirl the Bearded’s time spells. Princess Celestia had no other choice, as much as I would have wished otherwise. Despair was too much of a danger to Equestria as a whole to entrust to any other form of incarceration, including Tartarus itself. She had, after all, already broken causality, or Spikoran and I would have been able to return to our own time long ago instead of being refugees of Neverwhen.”
“Had…” Sunset began to ask hesitantly. “had I gone mad?”
“Eh, little bit,” Princess Twilight stated, wiggling a hoof. “The other Sunset stole an artifact of magic, took it to the other world, and used it to try to turn a school full of humans into a demonic army to bring back to Equestria. However, unlike Despair, when the other you was defeated, she knew enough to reach for help and accept it when it was offered.”
Sunset fell over at that particular revelation, then stood up again and got in Princess Twilight’s face. “Wait, what!? You’re telling me that the other me tried to raise a demon army to take over Equestria!?”
“Yes.”
“A demon army transformed from the student body of just one school?”
“Yes.”
“Are humans some sort of super creature or something?”
“Not really. They seem to be generalist omnivores for the most part, and what studies I’ve been able to do on them suggest that they used to be gatherers and persistence hunters before they became civilized.”
“Okay, so they aren’t a super powerful base species to make demonic soldiers from. Was the school really large?”
“Not really, no.”
“Was she planning on converting the rest of a city’s worth of humans or something?”
“Not as far as I know. The portal was kind of right there, and she was just going to come straight to Equestria with what she had at the time.”
“Was the other me some kind of idiot?”
“Hardly,” Princess Twilight denied. “But she was already kind of mad for power and she did try to misuse a magical artifact against it’s known purpose in a bid for power. That sort of thing tends to affect the judgment of anyone attempting such things. Once she was separated from the artifact, her reasoning cleared right up again and she saw what she had been doing.”
“Ouch,” Sunset winced. “Well, I know the lesson that I’m taking from this one: I’m never touching any magical artifact I ever come across!”
“That’s not the lesson I’m trying to teach here, although it does highlight what can happen if you misuse powerful magical artifacts,” the princess pointed out. “I actually do expect you to use such artifacts from time to time, but only as necessary, and hopefully in the way that they were intended to be used.”
“Don’t try to take over a country with just an army made of one school’s worth of transformed monkeys?”
“While that is a tactically sound conclusion, that’s not the lesson either,” Princess Twilight chided.
“Don’t mess with time travel if I can at all help it?”
“I’ll give you extra credit for that bit of wisdom, but that’s not it either.”
Sunset thought for a moment before trying again. “That sometimes redemption is possible, even when the crime seems great, so it should be offered when possible, but sometimes… Sometimes redemption just isn’t possible, and the hard choices must be made for the safety of everyone.”
“Yes. That’s the one,” Princess Twilight agreed. “That said, I fully expect my younger self to be heading off to Ponyville soon, on the pretext to ‘make some friends.’ Although, given that this version of me already has friends, that particular bit may be more straight forward than what I had experienced. I am sending you to Ponyville as well, to help her and make sure she doesn’t get it into her head to try to fight off Nightmare Moon by herself.”
“So Nightmare Moon is returning!” Sunset concluded. “Wait. Are… Are we going to have to kill her?”
“I should certainly hope not! Princess Luna became a friend of mine!” Princess Twilight proclaimed. “Besides, I think Princess Celestia would get more than a bit upset if you committed regicide against her sister.”
Sunset Shimmer fell over again at that bit of news.
“Just try to help my counterpart solve the problem, and don’t let her (or anyone else, including you) face Nightmare Moon alone. Think more ‘adventuring party’ than solo or squad mission, and apply the sort of thinking that helps in those situations.”
“So, dangerous, but not specifically life threatening?”
“More or less. You will find suitable ponies in Ponyville to become boon companions for your upcoming quest. Princess Celestia has slowly been guiding such ponies there ever since it was founded.”
"One of her long games, huh?" Sunset observed dryly.
"Pretty much," Princess Twilight nodded. "Annoyed me too, the first time I found out about that bit. Even though I know why she did it that way."
“This is one of those things that won’t work if you tell me everything ahead of time, isn’t it?”
“Unfortunately, yes. It is. I can give hints, and you can guess, but if I flat out told you or you went in knowing everything ahead of time, the chances of success drop significantly. I'll be able to explain it all in full once certain conditions have been met but, until they occur, you are just going to have to wait.”
“And this is why I like being your student! You at least tell me these things instead of just being enigmatic and saying that I would understand later."
“To be fair, I do that too.”
“Yes, but you also tell me why you tell me things like that! Princess Celestia used to drive me up the wall because she wouldn’t even tell me that much!”
“You’re welcome?”
Sunset chuckled. “Well, I suppose I better get going. I have a quest to prepare for after all.”
“Good luck. Oh, and you’ll have a mission budget and a billet assignment as well. Just stop by my office and ask either Spikoran or Stella for the papers before you leave.”
“Got it! Thanks!” Sunset called back as she began to trot off.
Once she was sure she was alone again, Princess Twilight looked up at the stony form of Despair as the petrified madmare stood silently on her pedestal. "My student looked right at you and saw no resemblance between you and my precious daughter. Sunset would have said something if she had. I'll take that as a good sign."
Princess Twilight still couldn’t see how her precious Starlight could have become the raving madmare that her counterpart from Neverwhen had been, but it just highlighted how important friendships could be, and how losing even one friend could cause enough despair to drive a pony crazy.
Hmmm, maybe it would be best if she told Starlight that two of her friends were just being sent away on tasks rather than abandoning her or some other silly notion like that.
Might be a good idea to make sure that Starlight could attend Moondancer’s party too, and pass on the message to the rest of their friends.
*O-(A Short Time Later, in the Palace)-O*
“YOU WHAT!?”
It had been a long time since Princes Celestia reflex-teleported out of fear.
At least several centuries at a minimum.
(And not last Tuesday because she was absolutely not scared of the big hairy spider that she found hiding in her closet. Because that never happened. Ever.)
*ahem*
Perhaps she should have informed Princess Twilight that she had decided to send Starlight Glimmer to Ponyville along with their respective students before they actually left Canterlot?
“GET BACK HERE! I’M NOT DONE YELLING AT YOU YET!”
Well, on the bright side, Celestia was now a lot less nervous about her sister’s impending return as she currently had an entirely different angry alicorn to worry about now...
*O o O o O*
"Looks like we have a Royal Guard chariot coming in," Firefly commented as she and Fluttershy flew safety patrol. Being a small rural town so close to the capitol, Ponyville didn't have a dedicated Guard force as such, instead having a volunteer militia. Granted, as Ponyville was situated right on the edge of the eldritch, monster infested, Everfree Forest, these volunteers were mainly comprised of reserve and auxiliary members of the military.
Case in point being Firefly and Fluttershy, who were both members of the Junior Air Auxiliary despite having moved to Ponyville some time ago for reasons that she was still not clear on. Something about the experience being good for them, which sounded awfully suspicious to her, but it did seem to be working out well so far. So, meh, whatever.
Firefly still wondered how she and Fluttershy ended up living in the same cottage on the edge of the Everfree Forest that Fluttershy had in the show (albeit without the associated animal occupants). Granted, it had been available, and between the two of them they had been able to buy it outright instead of having to rent-to-own two separate homes, so there was that.
"I see them," Fluttershy acknowledged. "They're brining in three unicorns... and a baby dragon?"
"Seems so," Firefly agreed.
"Want to meet them at their landing point and see if they need anything?"
"Yeah, but Mayor Mare assigned us to Safety Patrol for the Celebration."
"You know as well as I do that it's make-work, Firefly. Everypony is too busy helping to set things up for the Summer Sun Celebration to get into trouble. Even the fillies and colts. Besides, according to the clock tower, our assigned patrol time just ended."
"Well, that's not suspiciously convenient or anything," Firefly snarked.
"Oh hush, you. Mayor Mare probably just wanted to surprise us. Let's go see if they need anything."
"Sure."
*O o O o O*
Twilight cocked a brow upon seeing a pair of pegasi mares wearing Air Auxiliary armor flying in to meet them at their projecting landing point.
"Looks like Juniors," Sunset commented. "I didn't think Ponyville even had a dedicated Air station for them to be assigned to."
"As far as I know, it doesn't," Twilight replied. "According to Shiney, Ponyville should only have a volunteer militia force at most. Proper support for a Junior Air Auxiliary program isn't in the town's budget. They most likely commute to Canterlot for the program there. However, there are a lot of members of the reserve and auxiliary forces living here. I just thought they were mostly unicorns and earth ponies. Air Auxiliary posts tend to be located in mountain or cloud communities, or in more isolated villages farther away from potential reinforcements."
"Or, you know, they could have been part of the program somewhere else and then moved to Ponyville at some point after earning their armor," Starlight pointed out. "Once it's theirs it's theirs. They proved their trustworthiness."
"Wanna recruit them for the quest?" Spike asked. "The party could use some armored flankers. We're a bit heavy on the glass cannon side of things."
"This isn't Ogres and Oubliettes, Spike," Twilight admonished. "And I still can't believe Princess Twilight told you to recruit an adventuring party for me, Sunset. Why not just give the quest directly to you?"
"Because I've already been on missions for Princess Twilight, and she assigned me to assist with the assignment that Her Momjesty gave to the two of you. You need the leadership experience."
"Would you please stop calling Princess Celestia 'Her Momjesty', Sunset?" Twilight complained. "What if she heard you?"
"She'd probably laugh," Sunset retorted.
"She's got a point, Twilight," Spike agreed.
"I still can't believe that Mom is interfering with one of Princess Celestia's plots like this," Starlight commented.
"I can," Sunset countered. "Princess Twilight is very protective of her family. And it makes even more sense if she agreed to let Celestia assign both of you to whatever this mysterious task is."
*O o O o O*
"I KNOW YOU'RE HIDING SOMEWHERE IN HERE, CELESTIA! HOW DARE YOU SEND MY DAUGHTER OFF ON A DANGEROUS MISSION WITHOUT TELLING ME FIRST!?"
"Should... Should we do something?" One of the palace guards asked another as Princess Twilight ripped yet another set of thirty hoof tall reinforced oak doors off of their hinges with her telekinesis and tossed them aside like they were made of balsa wood.
The other guard looked back at the hoofprints leading across a trail of now shattered marble tiles, several wrecked doors left in the Twilight Princess' wake, and the growing collection of guards cautiously following the angry alicorn, then shook his head. "Nah. They got it covered. Let's stay at our post. That's even more important now that there isn't an actual door here anymore."
"Fine by me."
*O o O o O*
"I suppose," Twilight admitted grudgingly. "Although it would have been nice if Princess Celestia had actually told me that she already knew about the impending return of Nightmare Moon instead of letting me think she was blowing me off."
"I told you what I safely could, Twilight," Sunset reminded her younger friend.
"Yeah yeah, it's one of those stupid missions where actually knowing certain things ahead of time reduces the probability of success for certain parameters," Twilight recited. "Which, since Princess Twilight told you as much as she did, actually disqualifies you from being the mission leader."
"No. The fact that the Twilight Princess assigned me to be your support disqualifies me from taking mission lead. This is your mission, Twilight. Princess Celestia gave it to you fair and square. Besides, the experience will be good for you!"
"Are you sure it's not too late for me to switch over to being one of Princess Twilight's personal students? At least she gives you actual mission parameters when she sends you out to do something. All Celestia gave us was 'You will go to Ponyville to oversee the setup for the Summer Sun Celebration. Oh, and try to make friends!' I have friends! And most of them are back in Canterlot! We're missing Moondancer's party because of this mess!"
"Try to look on the bright side, Twilight," Starlight advised.
"There's a bright side to all this?"
"Maybe in Ponyville you can finally get away from that persistent rumor that you're an obsessively dedicated Princess Twilight cosplayer that misplaced your fake wings. Mom still gets giggle fits over that one whenever she hears it."
"One time!" Twilight exclaimed at the reminder of the pet peeve. "One time at a birthday party when I was nine years old! How does that make me an obsessive cosplayer!?"
"I still can't believe that the cosplay rumor is more popular than the illegitimate daughter one," Sunset remarked.
"Mom and Dad sued the paper and forced a retraction, with proof of my lineage, for that one," Twilight replied. "Now the papers just speculate whether or not I was named after her or if we're related in some other way whenever the topic comes up. Which is usually only once or twice a year now, unlike the cosplay one which seems to come up at least once a week every time I go out to do my own shopping."
"At least no one thinks that you're just a pet or costume accessory," Spike stated, putting his own two bits in. "'Nice purple iguana you got there. Did you get it for your costume?' my scaly ass."
"Language, Spike," Twilight admonished.
"Yeah yeah."
"Might want to cut this particular conversation short if you don't want those rumors spreading to Ponyville," Starlight interjected. "We're about to land, and it looks like those two are planning to meet us."
"All right, everypony," Twilight started as she regained her composure. "Get your game faces on, and..."
"Hah! I knew it!" Spike declared triumphantly. "Starlight, you hit the local shops for gear, and I'll see if I can find a place that sells chips and soda..."
"WILL YOU STOP TRYING TO TURN THIS INTO A GAME OF OGRES AND OUBLIETTES ALREADY!?"
Here's Fluttershy, with the Cutie Mark that she got saving Firefly, when she proved to be too heavy for the (at the time) smaller Firefly to carry and maintain altitude. Being saved by, and then immediately saving, Firefly has had a profound effect on Fluttershy...
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WONT MORE!!!!
Only
two chapters(well, prologue +1) in and this is already the best AU ever.8650026
Moved to PMs so as not to clutter the comments.
There was a post over on Ponyverse that first brought this idea to my attention
Episode 1 The prophecy
Legend has it that on the longest day of the thousandth year,
the stars will aid in her escape
and she will bring about nighttime eternal!
Look at Twilight's Cutie Mark
Remember, more than 1 her escaped that night -including Princess Luna
Remember, nobles (especially royals) often have a meaningless but poetic title or 2
If you assume that one of Luna's was "The Endless Night", "The Eternal Darkness" or some such
Then. the "she" obviously refers to Twilight & the prophecy is completely accurate if a little poetically expressed
Who made that prophecy? Celestia hadn't heard of it in 1000 years, but Twilight "just happened" to?
Now, the NEXT obvious question is "How much did Celestia know & when did she know it?"
1) Well, Family Appreciation Day, Ponyville in general & the Apples in particular are where they are because Celestia specifically gave AJ's great grandfather a land grant very close to The Castle of Two Sisters. You know, where the Elements "just happen" to be
2) Twilight's Cutie Mark "just happens" to be very similar to a mark on The Tree of Harmony (Princess Twilight)
3) The Summer Sun Celebration. Celestia could have gone anywhere in Equestria, but she "just happened" to be in a hick town like Ponyville
4) Of course the head of the local weather team was in charge of clearing the sky. Pinkie Pride, Dash mentions that she moved to Ponyville on her birthday. My head canon is that she moved to town because she "just happened" to get a job in Ponyville
5) Any great chef in EQ could have done the catering. Instead, some total unknown was picked, who "just happened" to be an Element Bearer
6) Any decorator in EQ could have done the decorations. Celestia "just happened" to pick a total unknown who was an Element Bearer
7) Any performer in EQ could have provided the entertainment. Celestia picked a total unknown who "just happened" to be an Element Bearer
Twilight "just happened" to meet the 5 ponies who would be her fellow Elements of Harmony. Either Celestia caught a lucky break, or you'd better find another name than "luck" for what happened because IMO "luck" implies an element of chance
Of course, here, that isn't even a question. Princess Twilight knows everything. The only question to my mind is "This time does Dash get Honesty & AJ get Loyalty, (IMO, that fits better) or does Twilight make the same mistake?"
For clarity, I'd call her Princess Sparkle & student Twilight but that's just me.
I'd also point to Fluttershy's behavior in the pilot & in Dragonshy. One of them was extremely OOC
Yeah, Tunnels and Trolls is clearly better. Good tastes Twilight.
OH man, now that is Funny seeing Spike trying to turn this quest into a real life version of Ogers and Oubliettes, or to better known to us Humans as Dungeons and Dragons, I can't wait to see what happens when they head to the castle to get the Elements of Harmony, maybe Sunset will become the Element of Magic/Friendship instead of Twilight.
Need.... More... DRUGS!!!
I LOVE THIS FIC AND I NEED MORE!!
Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes Yes!
*Cough, cough*
Sorry, I may have gotten just a bit carried away there. But I'm loving it so far.
8651083
Not to derail this insightful and well thought out post, but there's another way that Celestia could handle an up coming realization of a prophesy: The Shotgun approach.
Which is to say: Flood the initial staging area with as many ponies that might fit the criteria of being potential candidates ahead of time as possible without them noticing, send the mare with the key Cutie Mark in just before the indicated time to act as a catalyst, and not just depend on five other specific mare being exactly where she needs them to be.
Especially as Pinkie Pie is still missing.
"No I'm not! I'm right here with Fizzy!"
This is the comments section, Pinkie. Not the story.
"Maybe not the way you're telling it..."
8651165
Maybe. As I said in an earlier post, Return of Harmony, the first time they used the Elements, Spike was the Element of Loyalty. It was pretty puny (most of the others had been Discorded), but It DID work.
I still say "Fluttershy was extremely OOC in part 2 of the pilot"
Oh-ho-ho, I am loving this. Kinda wishing I stumbled across this later though instead of as soon as the prologue came out though. This is just torturing me with the chapter by chapter posts when I want to read more at the end of each one.
Hehe. I like this.
Just letting you know, your story has a formatting error. You have additional extra spaces between paragraphs. It currently looks like this:
i.imgur.com/VM35L3A.jpg
While it should look like this:
i.imgur.com/bqFYNJD.jpg
In addition to looking fairly ugly, the extra spaces also breaks Fimfiction's user formatting options (specifically, being able to choose between double spaces, indents, or both for separating paragraphs).
8651164
IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?!
All thungs considered, this might work better as an AU universe without any Self insert parts. Thus far there doesnt seem much reason to include the SI. The AU changes are good enough as is.
You could have done something else to strand them in a singular timeline here.
Still following regardless.
8651403 I have to agree. So far, apart from the initial change, Firefly hasn't really been needed. With Sunset and Starlight there's already two extra ponies in the core cast. O&O parties should be between 4 and 6 players, very few GMs have the skill to handle 8, let alone 9. The same is true of ensemble casts in media.
I am thoroughly enjoying this story so far though.
Aw. This felt filler-y. Seems like this story can't decide if it's an SI or a crackfic AU, but maybe that's just me. I would have liked more focus on Firefly and Fluttershy, since the stuff in Canterlot and with the student trio was almost nothing but exaggerated parodies. Like, how the heck is Fluttershy in the Air Guard? I would have thought the events of the last chapter would make her a medic, but not one expected to be in combat. It's a bit iffy to me that the Princesses wouldn't put a deeper focus on the causality-break-assisting, rainboom-capable, lacks-a-noteworthy-analog-in-the-original-timeline pegasus filly, but whatever.
Hope the plot will form in the next chapter! This deserves to be more than just a crackfic.
Eh, it would have been nice seeing more of the events immediately following the previous chapter: Twilight and Spike settling in and meeting their counterparts, Celestia and Twilight figuring out exactly what their relationship is and what place Twilight has in younger her's life, figuring what to do about a sudden alicorn and how to spin it, Firefly and Fluttershy moving to Ponyville (apparently militia/guard members now?), etc. Jumping straight to the shows start feels somewhat sudden.
Still I can understand wanting to move ahead, as the MC of this is Firefly after all, and all of that would either involve her minimally or not at all. Still would've been nice seeing Twilight and Spike settling in a actually seeing what their relationships with the Jrs and Celestia were like initially (That first real one-to-one conversation and debriefing with Celestia, as well as younger her finding out about her older self, who is also an alicorn and princess are some things I would have really liked to see.) and what they would develop into.
8651508
That is a very good point.
Firefly didn't exist in the original timeline, let alone do a rainboom before Dash and save Fluttershy. And presumably she wasn't present at the previous iterations of the events, as she didn't exist in those realities. However, since the families moved to Ponyville shortly after, it can be assumed that that was Celestia and/or Twilight1 maneuvering them into place for the Nightmares return.
Still, Firefly is just as out-of-place and suspicious as Twilight1 and Spike1 from their perspectives. After all, Twilight1, who knows how the event should have gone, would have/should have realized that things went wrong before they got stranded in this timeline.
Speaking of, it's technically kinda sorta Firefly's fault neither of them will ever see their friends and family again, and their reality (as far as they know) lost both a vital piece of it's defenses as well as a Princess.
That'll be awkward.
Another excellent chapter. I have to say I love the twist that Princess Twilight adopted this timelines Starlight Glimmer. Any chance of seeing some flashbacks or omake of Starlight growing up?
So Firefly and Fluttershy are part of the Junior Air Auxiliary .That's certainly a major change from canon Fluttershy, along with the fact she apparently doesn't have her animals like her original timeline counterpart.
So I guess Angel Bunny either probably had to find some other pony to push around for food, or he ended up being turned into rabbit stew.
Anyway even though we haven't really seen much of this version of Fluttershy, I can't help but think of the phrase speak softly but carry a big stick.
I'm looking forward next chapter when Firefly meets the new arrivals to Ponyville. It looks like shes about to get a look at some of the consequences/changes that resulted from her actions all those years ago.
Than again unless Firefly has been living under rock all these years since Princess Twilight's existence is probably well known across Equestria, she probably already knows she bucked the events of canon straight to Tarturus.
So I am confused... did Twilight and Spike and Starlight "split", with identical copies bother returning to the proper timeline, and these copies remaining here in the past?
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Actually, it was mentioned in the author's note or comments (I forget which) for the first chapter that Twilight and Spike from the older timeline have been duplicated in some kind of crazy Schrodinger Paradox. There is no other timeline where they are missing, there's simply an extra copy of them that was generated when they both successfully returned home and were left behind by collapsing causality.
Anyway, more generally, I'm really thrilled by this story. I'm super fond of AUs and just stories in general that start in the first season, and I've never seen such a neat approach to tie in events from later on in such an interesting way. I've read stories set in discarded timelines they hopped to, but never seen one where interference caused reality to permanently sheer off into that while causing further changes.
8651399
Nope, I've yet to watch that anime.
I'm loving it. Specially how mature is the whole Celestia-Twilight-Sunset-Starlight-Twily situation. Celestia didn't try to isolate them, Twilight didn't try to hide, and they actually explained somewhat the truth. Kinda of a shame Firefly is the MC, that period of adaptation would make for an awesome story.
Still favorited, though.
But question, what about Distorted Dissonance? Are you going to continue it after this one? At least give it a conclusion? Won't change how I follow you, but I loathe seeing a story for without an ending.
8651827
Both, actually...
8651733
Firefly is a bit of an anomaly, yes, but there are other things that don't quite match up to what Princess Twilight remembers of this period of time as well. So, while unusual, an out of place filly capable of also performing a Sonic Rainboom isn't going to have as high a priority as, oh say, figuring out what had changed that caused the filly to be there in the first place.
After all, it can't be the filly's fault - she's just a filly, silly!
Get out of my comments, Pinkie...
NEVAR!!!
8651840
dew it
I think this story is really nice so far. Some people might think the rainboom is OP and a sure sign of mare-y sue but I'm hesitant to draw this conclusion with one display. I am interested in where this goes.
8651827
Yes, but they don't know that. They have no idea the spell actually worked and their other selves are back home safe and sound and they're the 'echoes.'
As far as they know, the spell failed completely. Celestia wasn't even sure their home reality still existed, let alone that they were also sent back to it. They don't know they're duplicates, just like the other Twilight and Spike back home likely don't know they got stuck behind.
So as far as they know, either their entire reality was destroyed in the broken timeline and spell. Or, it does still exist, but they and Starlight simply never came back. Thus leaving it without a Princess and Element of Harmony/Bearer of Rainbow Power/etc., which given the amount of threats they've had to use that on, likely means their home is pretty screwed.
8651892
Even when said filly literally fell out of the sky?
Presumably in investigating the events that would have caused her to be there as you said, they would eventually discover that she was found falling from the sky by two random passersby and that no foals matching her age and description were ever found in their records, let alone reported missing, and then adopted by the couple who found her. (All that leaves a pretty big paper trail, not to mention even a cursory look at her background would likely result in someone going "Oh yeah, wasn't that the filly who fell out the sky near Las Pegasus several years ago? Weird how they never found any birth records for a foal of that description anywhere, and no missing persons reports were ever filed...")
I am happy to be patient and wait and see what comes in the future, maybe you've got that already planned out, but it's something to consider.
So, older Spike changed his name, but not older Twilight? Then again, what would she even change it to? "Twolight"?
Also, "Her Momjesty" is best title.
Twilight, Sunset, Starlight, and Spike just arrived from Canterlot.
Fluttershy and Firefly are town militia mares.
Rarity and AJ are likely residents due to lack of evidence stating otherwise.
Dash may also be in town for the same reason.
Pinkie and Fizzlepop were likely invited as representatives of Hippogriffia/Sequestria.
Princess Twilight might have arranged for Trixie to be in town as entertainment.
So, yeah, I'm tracking this. Eager to see what other changes there are as a result of a spare cog in the machine.
Also, I heartily second the idea of an interlude or flashback to show us a bit more of the recent history involving the new princess.
That's actually a perfect depiction of this "What if?" scenario. I honestly wondered how things would be in this "Sunset, Twilight and Starlight are childhood friends" setting. Keep up the great job, can't wait for the next chapter.
Let me discreetly point out that you have some discrete words to correct.
8652947
And this is with me actually having and using three beta readers this time...
8652109
How many fillies go 'missing' due to monster attacks? How many are just never entered into the system? (It's not like they have modern computers).
It's not inconceivable for someone in Equestria to have no known records of their past - it can be assumed that her birth certificate, if filed, was filed in some tiny village in the middle of nowhere that no-one has gone looking for her in yet.
Hahaha, I love this version of Spike. Still loyal and supportive, but a gamer nerd to boot.
8654576
His "older brother," Spikoran, introduced him to the game.
Spikoran actually runs a pretty mean O&O game, even if some of the NPCs seem to be not-so-cleverly renamed stand-ins for ponies Spikoran either knows or knows about. Princes Solar and Eclipse are obviously gender reversed versions of Princesses Celestia and Twilight after all, and Secret Agent Shmarity is so blatantly based on Fleur De Lis that Spike is kind of worried that the two are having an affair behind Fancy Pants' back...
...
Spike may be reading a little too much into Spikoran's character choices...
8654291
It also doesn't help that, apparently, nopony in Equestria really questions the idea of young fillies and colts travelling away from home alone without adult supervision.
Applejack left for Manhattan by herself, without escort, and all Granny Smith and Big Mac had done was wave goodbye when she left.
Also, Princess Twilight has no way of knowing that Firefly hadn't been in the Junior Speedsters' Flight Camp in her continuity. She just assumes that something Despair had done had butterflied events to cause Firefly to try to rescue Fluttershy.
Which is technically correct.
I am so loving this right now. But why, exactly, is Princess Celestia so scared of Princess Twilight when she's angry? Isn't Celestia still an order of magnitude more powerful?
Can't wait for more! Starlight + Sunset = fun times for all!
8654988
One would think so, but Celestia was also the one who thought the best idea to keep the magic of four alicorns out of Tirek's hands was to funnel it all into the youngest Alicorn and then have that alicorn go into hiding rather than fight.
Well, Princess Twilight's version of Celestia had done that. This version of Celestia has seen Princess Twilight be far more proactive about threats against Equestria.
It hasn't really come up yet in the story, but the Twilight Princess has acquired a bit of a reputation as the Warrior Princess of Equestria since she has appeared. And it's not exactly undeserved, even if Princess Twilight doesn't really think of herself in that way.
So Twilight and Sunset (arguably best horse) were students to Celestia at the same time here. The show makes it seem like they should be but other events make is seem like they are not. I personally like to view Sunset as having been around a couple years before Twilight was taken underwing. This implies more time issues though.
Does Twi2 know about Twi1 and how they are related? Cause maybe seeing herself as an alicorn could go to Twi2's head.
Ok, I like this. It meshes with my own headcanon.
So they never even arrived in Ponyville and got the book way before. Well, Nightmare Moon is gonna either have an easier time or harder time.
If things go bad, turn them on each other. I wonder what Cadance and Shining are up to.
Ok, we know Pinkie is somewhere else being a freedom figher with Fizz. Sunset, Starlight, and Twilight are in Ponyville. Firefly and Fluttershy are in Ponyville. AJ, Rarity, and... that's it. Dash could be somewhere else. Are the Elements of Harmony going to have 3 unicorns and 3 pegasi? Screw earth ponies I guess...
And not Ogres and Oubliettes 3.5, this is 5E, which can more easily handle glasscannon parties. Jeeze Spike, read the new rulebook.
Being a time clone is being related right? Seems related enough to me.
And Firefly spills the beans on her weird knowledge of certain happenings within the first 5 minutes resulting in Sunset pulling her aside for a little talk.
"And you guys must be here from Nightmare Mooooonnnnn's Summer Sun Celebration!"
So far I am enjoying this story and look forward to where it goes.
8651100
I feel that the competing Caverns and Cloakers has a shot and being good once players understand the narrative dice.
8651801
Yes, when the spell fired off, another set of Twilight, Spike, and Shimmer were created. One set went on to do the show things and the other set is stuck in this story. Least that is how I understand it.
8655040
With Princess Twilight being the warrior princess, what version of Princess Luna will be here? I personally like warrior Luna, who will then attack Twilight at the most impromptu times. Like Inspector Clouseau and Kato.
All I can say is great job on the first two chapters of this story. You're doing a great job combining the serious stuff with the humorous stuff in a way that's - well, as realistic as possible given the rather fantastic circumstances. And, yeah, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all quite well done.
I particularly liked how scared Celestia got of Princess Twilight's Mama Bear mode. And, yeah, somehow, I can very easily see Princess Twilight telekinetically pulling Celestia to Moondancer's party BY HER EAR to explain matters in pony so Moondancer doesn't get as far into depression as she does in canon (as well as possibly sit down to enjoy the party herself so she can see what she was missing last time while her other self is doing HER part, meaning that she can have the best of both worlds in this case). But I will admit that I COULD be wrong on that.
At any rate, I will most certainly be looking forward to more of this.
8654988
8655040
Well, good points, Tangent. And, besides, there are VERY few things in ANY world scarier than an angry mother, especially one with the powers of a demigod.
Of course. *nods* Because Spykoranuvellitar is a mouthful for casual conversation.
*nods more*
Mmhmm.
Liking this Twilight very much, myself!!
I did catch you referring to her as "the Twilight Princess" once, though. Her ears may be pointy, but she has never been transformed into a little demonic piebald doll looking thing with a crown of ancient stone... or has she??
There was a time skip, after all...!
This shows promise!
Although I am concerned at how far off cannon you are going, I'm not leaving just yet since nothing so far shown has been a deal breaker.
8671944 Well, considering it has an Alt Uni. tag, this story could start killing mane characters off and be perfectly in canon.
Princess Twilight and Sunlight said it perfectly.
The ponies from Neverwhen and Now are completely different. Even Princess Twilight and Spikoran.
Yeah, that would be one way to make Sunset stop demanding the secret of how to ascend.
Celestia: Very well my student. Yes, I do know how you could become an Alicorn. But knowing this information will actually sharply decrease your chances of becoming one. So, do you still want to know?
Interesting story so far, nice work.
This is a great (and very entertaining) start.
There are only two concerns I have:
First, "Princess Twilight and Spike stuck in the past and trying to head off problems with their younger selves" and "OC befriended Fluttershy and changed the timeline so there are two pegasi who have achieved a sonic rainboom" would both normally each be something you'd dedicate an entire story to.
It gets difficult to give such "starring role" subplots time enough to feel satisfying when you have two of them in the same story.
Second, given how many changes you've made, I'm a little concerned about your assessment of your own ability to substitute for Pinkie's role in the original dynamic.
Also, just in case you weren't aware, the Author's Notes block gets excluded from the single-chapter HTML downloads. (I use them for offline reading because my pocketable laptop just has an ordinary web browser that doesn't have any kind of automatic position-keeping and I also use them for archival so I don't have to pop back up to the whole-story page every time I want to archive a chapter after reading it.)
Of course not
He's not wrong though
Yeah, about that
Well, at least there will be a lot of paid construction work at the castle later