This story is a sequel to I Will Not Fail
Darth Vader remembers how he joined with the Storm King while reporting to him after visiting Tempest Shadow in the recently enslaved city of Canterlot.
A very special thanks to EJLightning007arts for making the first story art image for this story.
This Star Wars/MLP crossover is set during the MLP movie, as a "What If Darth Vader was in My Little Pony: The Movie". After success of "I Will Not Fail", people requested sequels, so I plan to make 5 sequels. This is the 1st of the 5.
Chapters (1)
... This just makes me wonder what would happen if Galen Marek (AKA Starkiller/Starkiller Clone [Darth Vader's Secret Apprentice from the Force Unleashed]) somehow made it to, and assisted, the Mane Six in the Movie.
Well done
On another note, the Super Star Destroyer Arbitrator was sucked into a black hole. Any chance it may end up in this dimension?
Also, the Emperor's personal Super Star Destroyer Eclipse also went missing. It was theorized that it went into the Unknown Regions commanded by Grand Admiral Thrawn. Just an idea you may use.
If we're going by Legends, there's the ISD Vector and the prison ship Purge that went missing after they were contaminated by the Blackwing Virus. Also, the Star Destroyers Admonitor, Grey Wolf, and Vanguard, all of them were commanded by Grand Admiral Thrawn, were never seen again even during the Yuuzhan Vong War. They could show up here.
8697529
What would be cool is if Luke from return of the jedi to show up and help the main six and at the end of this have a reenactment of episode 6. Also it would interesting to see how the other characters react to finding out that Luke was Vader's son.
Ooh! Well done! Well done indeed! This was fantastic! I look forward to the 2nd sequel in this little mini-series!
This has got me thinking as well...what if in a parallel universe, Tempest doesn’t join the Mane 6 after all her sins and flees in shame of her deeds? Then, she’s sucked into a Wormhole of sorts (due to Alderaan’s demise in the Force) and is met by Darth Vader who trains her in the ways of the Force? She’d also be turned human or anthro by the way. What do ya think?
Anyway, keep up this good work! I can’t wait to see more! And please respond to my idea if you can! I’d like to know if it interests you.
I got a comic with that quote at Disney World!!!!!
Awesome!
OOOOHHHHH BOY!!!! SEQUEL: VADER VS TWILIGHT! DO IT!!!!!
8697822
8697705
8697529
Hate to disappoint you guys, but I'm not going overboard with this crossover series. It's going to be Darth Vader only. Sorry.
8697951
Thank you.
Well, I'm actually not going to go overboard with this crossover series. In fact, I already have an ending in mind. Check out the story final of 5 images (the top half at least) made by EJLightning007arts of the final story of the series to give you a clue on what will happen.
https://ejlightning007arts.deviantart.com/art/Vader-and-Tempest-Vader-s-Death-722848985
But you did present a very interesting idea. It's sounds like something I would read.
Glad you enjoyed the story.
8698173
Glad you like the interesting idea I proposed. If I can stop being lazy and find some motivation, I just might write it down. Anyway, keep it up!
8698147
Very well
Though it will be a problem if you make Vader lose.
8697960
8697984
You're correct. I borrowed that bad ass Vader line from that comic.
Also, your Vader vs Twilight request is actually something I have planned. There will be a confrontation between Vader and Twilight (with a bit of help from Pinkie Pie) in the next story.
8697983
Thank you.
8698407
I like star wars!
One can never have enough of Darth Vader.
8698793
Or Tempest Shadow too at that.
Love it! Also did you include a bit from Vader vs batman and some Vader comics?
I haven't read this story yet, but I liked "I Will Not Fail". However, that read more like a prequel then a story itself. It may be better to have the rest of the stories in this series simply be chapters in Vader's New Empire. Just a thought.
8699302
Yes, I did.
Those two were some of the main inspirations I looked to, from Darth Vader's encounter with Captain Bestial, to his fight with Tempest Shadow. It was so I could get Vader's character right. The same with Tempest Shadow too.
I'm glad you loved it.
And I hope you'll like the next sequels I'm writing now.
8699328
I see.
Well, it actually is a sequel, because even though it has a long flashback, it goes back to the focus of Darth Vader going to report to the Storm King, before going to help Tempest into capturing Twilight.
Plus, EJLightning007arts, the artist who made the image I used for "I Will Not Fail", was nice enough to make 5 images like that on my request. So as a result, I'm writing 5 stories, each one being a sequel to the other. Similar to the first 6 Star Wars films. You know what I mean?
I hope you enjoy this story as much as the previous one. When you finish it, please do, by all means, tell me what you think of it.
Amazing. But the grammar is driving me mad. please fix!
8699395
What are you talking about? I check through this thoroughly, and I saw nothing wrong with anything.
I can see Vader fooling everyone on his side into a false sense of security until the time is right, then bam!
But then again, he's no Palpatine.
8699446
I wonder what happen next?
8699446
Here's a few things I found. (They aren't all grammar, but they are all related to it)
#1 This clause is unnecessary, and puts a comma between The subject and verb for no reason (Not desirable). To fix this, I would suggest restructuring the sentence.
I.E. "The roar of the engines of his personal tie fighter and escorts, could be heard as Darth Vader pursued the lone X-Wing in the Death Star trench.
#2 "It" Is an unnecessary preposition. It should be removed. (You could add "Yet" to the beginning of the sentence to better connect it to the previous sentence, But it is not necessary.)
#3 I'm sure you meant "his". (Sorry, I'm a spelling Nazi too.)
(They are in orange, as they aren't "wrong", just not optimal)
#4 Saying "Targeting" Twice is redundant. Try rewording the sentence, I.E. "He adjusted his controls, and opened fire without using his targeting computer,"
#5 the sentence is starting to get really long, as it has been extended by commas 3 times. To shorten it let's restructure.
"Managing to get a disabling hit on the Mysterious pilot's astro(mech) droid." This makes the sentence feel more cohesive.
#6 There is a lot of irrelevant detail here. It's making an already long sentence even longer. again, this isn't "wrong" but it will improve the quality of your work. Try "Just as he was about to regain control, the Explosion's blast wave flew past him,.
#7 The comma is unnecessary, as The following clause is not independent.
To be clear. I really did enjoy the story. I am Just trying to help. I am willing to help you learn some stuff and/or go over the whole story with you if you want, but I'm tired for tonight, and got work in the morning. So i'll see your guy's responses later.
8699446
I wonder what the next story is?
8705406
Perhaps the story image made by EJLightning007arts might give you a clue.
https://ejlightning007arts.deviantart.com/art/Vader-and-Tempest-at-Klugetown-718811484
8701552
I would really appreciate the help, since there thing that I did not even see or even know of. On top of the fact that I'm planning on entering the next sequel story in the Everfree Northwest Scribblefest, because simply "Why not". You sound like you're a member, or should be a member of a group like The Proofreader Group. Thank you.
8705548
I am willing to help. Though I'm not nearly as good as the guys in the proof-readers group; I'm game if you're game. But I am pretty busy IRL. So It will take me some time to go through your stuff. will try to get a rush on for the contest though. When is it?
8705741
Check this link for more infomation.
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/794192/announcing-the-everfree-northwest-scribblefest-official-start
8705470
Ok I know now. Klugetown
8705999
Yep.
And there will be a fight scene between Twilight (with a bit of help from Pinkie Pie) and Vader, though it won't be as big as the Tempest vs Vader fight, which I've been watching https://youtu.be/wxL8bVJhXCM?t=47s for inspiration to Twilight and Vader's confrontation. And it would take place between https://youtu.be/H-657c6I50Q?t=3m2s and https://youtu.be/H-657c6I50Q?t=3m7s.
8706806
Awesome!
Hmmm Looks like I'm not the only one who reads the VADER comics but for reals You nailed i dude *clap clap clap* nicely done may the force be with you.
again well done with the bat in the sun batman vs vader
8708630
8708641
Thank you.
You are correct. Those were from the comics and Batman vs Darth Vader from Bat in the Sun. Those two were the main places where I got inspiration from to write this story. In fact, I'd like to see someone do a comic or even an animation of the fight between Vader and Tempest. That would be so cool, especially seeing Tempest fight with a magic Naginata that can even resist Vader's lightsaber.
8708799
That would be awsome it be a 1000x better then the episodes 1-3 of Star Wars wait maybe you should add two evil droids from the comics for your next piece like this.
0-0-0: "Did some call for sure?
Their your problem now *crawls into a air vent*
8708799
When will you make the next story
8710864
I'm writing it as we speak. And I've written 2/3 of the story already.
8710882
so your writing?
8710884
Yep.
8710891
ok
8710891
Well anytime now.
8728557
8728581
uh fine
It's funny, because Vader could probably dismantle the Storm King with one hand.
8731629
He could, but he chose not to.
BTW What did you think of the fight between Vader and Tempest, especially with Tempest using a magic weapon to fight against Vader's lightsaber?
8699353
Finally got around the reading the story. Overall the story was much better then I was expecting, the duel between Vader and Tempest was quite good.
There were two problems that stood out to me: the first, was naming the storm creatures "storm creatures" it just felt a bit lazy to me. I don't know if they even have an official name, I assume not, but if they don't making up a name would have sounded better then just calling them creatures.
Next was the lack of description of the "Storm King Symbol".
Before reading this I had only see parts of the movie so I had no Idea what the symbol looked like.
Now, on to the Klugetown story.
8739510
I'm glad you enjoyed the fight scene between Vader and Tempest. I bet you thought it was awesome how Tempest fought against Vader with a weapon that could stand against Vader's lightsaber. I thought I'd be cool to have Tempest fight with a weapon.
I should tell you that the Lightning Naginata of Fulgur will be mentioned in the third sequel. And it's a magic weapon from the kingdom of Aviana. A kingdom inhabited by anthro birds. This is also my head cannon of where Captain Celaeno and her crew originated from. And if you were wondering, a naginata is a bladed staff weapon from medieval Japan, that is is a like a staff with a sword on one end.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/deadliestwarrior/images/c/c2/Naginata.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20150913110941
This is what a naginata looks like.
Those Storm Creatures are the name of those things that a major part of the Storm King's army. The MLP Wiki even calls them that. Here's the link.
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Creatures#Storm_Creature
They also go by the name, Storm Guards.
I'm also a bit surprised you didn't see the movie whole. It's rare to encounter a brony/pegasister who hasn't seen the movie. Well, sorry you got confused by not knowing what the Storm King's emblem is. Here's a vector on what it looks like.
orig00.deviantart.net/c8b3/f/2017/322/0/d/storm_king_s_emblem_by_ejlightning007arts-dbu6b2z.png
I hope you enjoy the next sequel. BTW Thank you for the follow.
Greetings
You have requested a review of this story on the Reviewer's Cafe.
Here is your review!
Cheers.