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ShowShine


A fanfic writer who’s trying their best

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to The Storm Dragon Returns


After the Storm King steals a dragon egg from the Canterlot castle, he slowly starts his plan to rule Equestria

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 47 )

interesting premise, good first chapter, and thus far a fun read:moustache:
I shall be looking forward to more:twilightsmile:

This could be interesting...and I'll look forward to seeing where it leads. However, I'm pretty sure Tempest didn't meet the Storm King until she was an adult, so I'm a bit confused as to how it works in this version.
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Looking forward to see more

Tracking.

That tells me one of two things: either (the bad) Starlight mess up the timeline (again) or it that part happens more later.

9756302
This is an alternate universe fic. It's actually possible that Tempest met the Storm King YEARS sooner than in canon in this universe.

REALLY good start to this story. Love the work that went into the characterizations and exchanges into this alternate universe fic. And, yeah, I figured the "dragon egg" thing HAD to be something to test the applicant's CHARACTER rather than their ABILITY. Otherwise, there would either be far fewer students or far more dragons at that school.

Anyway, on to the next chapter.

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Yeah. I LOVED the Storm King's reaction to the fact he was basing one of his plans on a fairy tale (and for once in this series, the fairy tale turned out to NOT be real) and how protective Tempest got of Spike. I admit I felt bad for the Mayor of that town when Tempest and Spike killed him, but it IS great set-up for later on.

Anyway, wonderful job on the exchanges, characterizations, (dark) humor and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I'll very certainly be looking forward to more, but will also respect that real world matters need to come first and inspiration can be unpredictable.

Awesome chapter:rainbowdetermined2:
Baby Spike sounds so adorable💚

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Loved how Tempest was reflecting on how difficult it was for Spike to learn to be useful (which is understandable as he IS still a baby at this point and the Storm King WASN'T going to be patient enough to wait until Spike was an adult). And, yeah, the seriousness of the mission mixed with Baby Spike's cuteness provided a healthy amount of dark humor to that mission. And, finally, I ALSO really enjoyed Spike being the one to find the secret library Tempest was looking for.

Anyway, excellent job on the characterizations, action and exchanges once more.

Nice Chapter, Spike sounds so adorable:pinkiehappy:

Wow poor spike. Hopefully calaeno will forgive him in the future.
This is a good story I am enjoying it.

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Great job on showing how Spike had developed in the ten-year time skip from the previous chapter as well as showing what Calaeno and her crew were up to before they were captured. Definitely succeeded in making me feel sorry for both Spike (who is clearly an EXTREMELY reluctant underling to the Storm King with considerable Token Good Teammate potential) AND Captain Calaeno. Of course, it's only a matter of time before we find out who gets stuck with the job of trying to keep Twilight grounded in Spike's absence.

Anyway, superb work on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places.

Nice chapter.

REALLY good spin on the "Gauntlet of Fire" episode.

Great to see that, even after all those years of being raised by Tempest and working for the Storm King, he STILL had enough of a conscience to not FULLY go through with the Storm King's plan. And the bit at the beginning with the botched birthday cake for Grubber WAS pretty funny.

Anyway, excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places.

Dang, apart of me was really hoping Spike would become Dragon Lord

But none the less, Good chapter

When do you think the next chapter will be up

Important questions: without Spike, who got the Crystal Heart? And since Ember was betrayed, won't that make any kind of diplomatic relations with the new Dragon Lord difficult?

9944591
Without Spike around, one of the mane six took his place and saved the Crystal Empire. The Dragons and Ponies never made peace with each other.

9944766
...well. That's kinda depressing. The never making peace thing, I mean.

9944791
I mean they’ll make peace eventually, just not right away. Maybe towards the end of the story

9944797
Oh. The way you said it made me think you meant period. Sorry for misunderstanding.

9944800
It’s fine, I phrased it weirdly

Oh, this is gonna be good.

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. This chapter might have taken a while, but was well worth the wait. The exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up were all well done in all the right places.

Yeah, at least we see the Storm King TRYING to be smart (i.e. sending in somebody to get him info on the alicorns' weaknesses BEFORE he launches his invasion). Of course, now we see the first meeting (in THIS universe) of Twilight and Spike. Of course, now we will find out just who Celestia assigned to be Twilight's assistant in Spike's absence (Moondancer and Sunburst are MY two best guesses, though I will admit that I am probably wrong on BOTH of those guesses). And, of course, we have to wonder just how soon it will be before Spike's conscience gets the better of him - again.

And, yeah, we also have to wonder how Twilight got the inspiration needed to fix Starswirl's masterpiece spell (though, to be fair, the Cutie Mark Crusaders could have EASILY been the ones that gave Twilight the needed inspiration [as two of them are the little sisters of two of her best friends and the third is a little sister FIGURE to a third], that's still just a guess) or how Celestia was able to get Twilight back to normal during Discord's first return if Twilight didn't have Spike as a message delivery system - or how Celestia was able to find out about the "Miss Smarty Pants" incident quickly enough to prevent Twilight being shipped off to Tartarus out of necessity.

But, anyway, very definitely looking forward to more of this.

And, just in case the next chapter doesn't come until AFTER the start of the new year, Happy Holidays.

For reference, about what point in the main series is this? Season 6? Season 7?

Excellent job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in this latest chapter. Yeah, I LOVED the spin on how Twilight and Pinkie first met in this universe. And, yeah, I have to admit, I didn't think of it, but it makes sense that Twilight and Pinkie could play off each others' strengths quite well (which is saying something as, when she actually IS focused, Pinkie's abilities are ONLY limited by her imagination) while also covering each other's weaknesses (and of course, the others ALSO play off each others' strengths while also covering for the others' weaknesses too, which makes the six of them together more formidable than the sum of their parts). And, yeah, Spike might have tried to THROW a party once for Grubber (key word "tried") but has never actually BEEN TO one, that was a clever "technically not a lie" detail. And Spike second-guessing himself as he was giving the information makes sense. Hopefully, this will all turn out well in the end (I mean, yeah, it's going to get REALLY rough, but my more optimistic side is still holding on to hope that the heroes will find a way to beat the odds).

And, again, I will DEFINITELY be looking forward to more of this.

Great job on this latest chapter. LOVED how Spike looked so surprised by Twilight liking his idea as well as Spike meeting his new pet. And Spike's brief pang of guilt concerning his report to Tempest was a nice touch. Hopefully, that conscience will continue to get stronger in later chapters.

All in all, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are quite well done in all the right places.

REALLY good job on this latest chapter. Definitely did a great job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I particularly liked Spike's introduction to and chat with Thorax (especially with Spike's mostly truthful comments concerning what he has been through with the Storm King). And, yeah, that final report to Tempest was definitely bittersweet. While that was a pretty fierce goodbye to two of the few who have treated him well before this, I can definitely understand Spike's desire to stop hurting innocents, no matter what the Storm King might do to him in retaliation.

REALLY looking forward to more of this.

Spike, you better tell them the truth before the Storm King or somebody else who are not happy with you tell it. Trust me, I've seen enough times to know what happened.

9763773
You aren’t the first one to say that

Can’t wait for the invasion

Well, that can happen as well, poor timing still.

Yeah, Spike should have been more upfront about the Storm King much earlier on (as another reviewer already said) but I CAN understand why he would be reluctant to bring it up considering the things he did that he wasn't proud of. All the same, very good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in all the right places. I have to say I can understand Ember's being upset concerning what Spike did (though WE have the benefit of knowing WHY he did it and can still appreciate that he didn't FULLY go through with what his boss at the time wanted). And yeah, Rainbow's reaction to Spike's forced confession was understandable but Spike's sacrificing himself for Twilight was beautifully bittersweet stuff.

VERY definitely looking forward to more of this. Especially hoping for an earned happy ending for Spike and the ponies.

It’s kind of odd how you never mention starlight not even once

10112843
I usually don’t mention her in my stories cause I don’t know how to properly add her

REALLY good job on the exchanges, characterizations, action and epilogue set-up in all the right places. I especially enjoyed Spike's chats with Tempest, Spike helping free the Storm King's prisoners before taking on the Storm King himself (particularly Spike's well-aimed taunts while confronting his former boss), Tempest defending Spike just before the Storm King's defeat and the scene at the hospital shortly after the Storm King's defeat.

VERY definitely looking forward to the epilogue.

Yay for happiness

Superb work on this epilogue. Absolutely LOVED the exchanges and characterizations. I especially loved the look at Spike, Tempest and Grubber's post-Storm King life AND Spike both taking the opportunity to vent his frustrations on the Storm King AND eliminate the possibility of him coming back. Reminded me a bit of the "Revenge on the Printer" scene from "Office Space" (in a good way).

Hopefully, there will be a short slice-of-life sequel with Spike patching things up with Ember and Captain Calaeno and her crew (as well as maybe a post-molt epilogue). Even if there isn't, however, that's cool.

Before I read this, I must know: Why would the Storm King take an egg from Canterlot? According to the actual show, the dragons of the Dragon Lands only have one guard, so wouldn't taking it from there be easier?

How can this be a sequel to the other story but that one also be a sequel? :rainbowderp:

I wonder how Twilight and her friends survived without Spike for 7 seasons.
Twilight will have nopony to assist her in her adventures, and send letters to Celestia efficiently;
How could she get Celestia's letters to inspire her to defeat Discord;
How would they stop Sombra if nopony could send the Crystal Heart down with Twilight trapped;
How would they reform the changelings and make peace with the dragons?
I think that's all the plot holes I got for now :moustache:

“FUCK YOU STORM KING!” Spike shouted. “YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME ANYMORE, I’M MY OWN PERSON!” He continued shouting. He kicked a rock which bounced off of a tree and landed in a bush. Spike let out a sigh of relief.

Spike, you silly. The swear word is BUCK.

But who befriended Thorax if it wasn't Spike?

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