• Member Since 19th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 38 minutes ago

Raptormon132


Blind Commentator, Actor, Voice Actor, Analyst/Reviewer, and Writer


E

A grandfather's tale of him passing on a legacy due to him encountering a stallion in a suit that gave him a bit in his childhood.


(My entry for Scribblefest 2017!)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 15 )

This is a very nice story...I honestly wish I had more to say about it. but it's a great story and I'm happy that I read it

7598376
Thank you. :twilightsmile: I'm glad you liked it.

7598376
I also have 3 other stories if you're interested.

To spooky! Nah Me like:derpytongue2:
This was a really good fic.

7616402

Thanks again. :twilightsmile:
This is another I hope someone like Dr Wolf would do for a dramatic reading.

I just started reading this, and I'll (hopefully) finish later today.

Many years ago, when I was a young colt about your age, my grandfather died.


Well that escalated quickly!

7908088
Well, the story was set on the time his grandfather died, so yeah, it would.

But what did you think of it so far. Was it as good as you were hoping it would?

7909129
It's honestly a bit early to say, but it is good as far as I've read, yes.

So I just finished, and it was pretty good. It wasn't exactly my kind of fic, but it was really well written! I only spotted a few errors.

There in both black and white photos was a thin old earth pony stallion with ice cream cone cutie mark.

Did you mean "with an ice cream cone cutie mark"?

In one photo he was dressed as an ice cream pony at an ice cream stand, in the other he was dressed in a suit. Though the photo was black and white, I could tell it was the same stallion in suit that he saw, and the suit he was wearing in the photo was the same one.

Shouldn't this be closer to something along the lines of "In one photo, he was dressed as an ice cream pony at an ice cream stand; in the other, he was dressed in a suit. Though the photo was black and white, I could tell it was the same stallion in suit that I saw, and the suit he was wearing in the photo was the same one"?

7910314
Thanks for spotting those errors. It's amazing how an error or 2 can slip right past you with out even noticing. Thanks for pointing them out, and I've just fixed them. Though in the second error, I didn't know it was one. I guess I might need to work on my grammar a little. I guess I can add that to the list of things to remember when writing.

Thank you for your positive feedback on my story. :twilightsmile: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I should even tell you that I've got 3 other stories too.
1. A Pop Star, a Princess, and a Prisoner
2. Burning's Ass for Money
3. Twilight’s First Gift

You could check those out too, if you'd like.

7910420
I do plan to read Twilight's First Gift eventually. It should be stated that I write on here too, and I generally write more than I read.

Alright, time to review- First Person! Burn it! Burn it to the fucking ground!

...Anyway, here's my actual review.
The story is that of a grandfather telling his grandson about an old coin he has framed on his wall. That's kind of it. The titular suited stallion being twice described as fin, which is either meant to be thin or fine I can't really be sure which. Aside from that the story is short and completely inoffensive.
I kinda have no actual reaction to it, so flip a coin if you're bored.


Read the rest of the reviews here.

8304309
Hey.
Thank you for reviewing it. And thank you for making a mistake catch to my attention. Fin is supposed to be "thin", like the opposite of fat. I just correct it. I'll have a look at the other reviews. :twilightsmile:

I have reviewed your story! Thank you for the time and effort you have put into creating this piece. :twilightsmile:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/211585/reviewers-cafe/thread/308771/reviews?page=3#comment/6028762

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