The Stallion in the Suit
By Raptormon132

Summary:
A grandfather's tale of him passing on a legacy due to him encountering a stallion in a suit that gave him a bit in his childhood.

Grammar:
The story is very short, leaving little place for error. One thing I've noticed - "Morn" is confused with "Mourn". Other than that - no risks taken result in no failures. 19/20

Style
I've quoted the summary verbatim above, not because it's very good, but because it's reflective of the style of the whole fic. The language is extremely stilted, numerical are written out with numbers, the story is short and abrupt, and there is a lot of just awkward-ish sentences.
It is symptomatic of someone not well-read, not well-versed in the language and in the final account - not really trying very hard.
15/30, out of pure grace. If this were a much longer story, it would be tedious and unreadable, as is - you can kinda force your way through it.

Plot
It has an idea, and it honestly tries to work it. I don't exactly expect great things from a 2k drabble, and there are surely none to be found here, but it is reasonably done, if unremarkable. No characters to speak of, no twist, no worldbuilding - just a little parable of sorts. It's not great, but it does what it aims to do.
30/40

Personal Preference
I did not care for this story. The lack of effort put in, the stilted and abrasive style, the simplistic plot which did not appeal to me - it is a good writing stepping stone, but it is hardly interesting to read. 4/10

Total Tally:
If it were a longer story, it would be so very much worse, and I did not like it, as I noted above. But objectively speaking, if you look past the bad and circumlocutous writing, it is objectively not too bad. 68/100

5832740
Gee! This was really deep.

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy it. I guess it can't reach out to everyone.

What I'm very confused of is how my writing in this story is bad and circumlocutous, and has a lot of just awkward-ish sentences, especially since I've worked so hard to improve on my writing with the help and advice I got from other people?

I guess you're not called "Blunt Reviews Group" for nothing. But I guess at least it's not bad to be read by others, due to a review being only ones own opinion. 68/100 seems like a fair score to me. I maybe disappointed that it didn't reach out to you like it did with others, but at least you took the time to read, review, and give your honest opinion about it. And for what it's worth...I thank you.

BTW I just fixed the "Morn" with "Mourn". Thanks for letting me know about that.