• Member Since 28th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen May 16th

NightShadow-z


I am a fanfic reader/writer. Sometimes for YouTube.

Comments ( 89 )

More! In already interested.

8658585
I'm glad you like it. I will try to upload chapter on a weekly basis from now on. I've just been stressed out recently which is why it took me more than 2 months just to finish the prologue

Huh. He said her name, and if the long description is to be believed, he never existed in this world. That's gonna be one hell of an explanation.

Tracking.

8658589
Weekly? Like.. Once every Friday?

8658648
He does exist in the alternate universe, if you read the description before reading the prologue then you'd know that the other spike was given back to the dragons after he hatched.

You had my curiosity … but now you have my Full attention!!!:twilightsmile:

This looks like a great story! I can hardly wait to see where you go with this. While cliffhangers suck, yours was well used, and draws the reader in, leaving us waiting for more. (hint hint!)

That aside, a few small errors that can be cleared up with a quick re-read. A nine out of ten as-is, with a lot of potential. Loving it!

“Forget the scars, look at his clothes! They’re simply garish!” Another voice called out in a fanciful tone.

If she says that it doesn't say anything, considering her standards.

“Ah kinda have ta agree with ya on this one, Rares.” A voice with a southern drawl replied.

But when she sais this, it must be really bad.

A promising story so far!
I'll track to see where it goes.

Keep it going after all you have built a curious world

Alright. You got my interest. Let's see where this one takes us

8658678
Like, I'll try an upload a chapter once a week, the day of the week may vary depending on when I get the next chapter finished

8658785
Thank you very much. I drew inspiration from various authors I read, as well as my own experiences and critiques.

8658714
I'm glad. I hope to keep your attention as well as your interest in this story with chapters to come

8659008
Good start so far won't add a like or dislike yet will about chapter 3 to see if the story sticks to me but good start hope to see more and its funny 17 like and I that one hater lol

“....make any sense. Dragon’s are supposed to have scales as tough as armor, so why does this one have so many scars.” A voice that sounded like Twilight asked.

Really soft armour. I mean, you can't stick a pin in plate.

One thing I find a tad weird is how openly Celestia talks about her rape. Maybe it's been long enough that she's not that bothered by it anymore, but then, she's still on a warpath.

One thing I thoroughly like is that you didn't argue Spike's actual home in the show was horrible. From the description I expected it to be another one of those stories where Spike doing chores is somehow worse than slavery!

8659209
With enough force, you can break a plate with just a simple pin (a metal one).
I am no expert or condone the act of rape. I hope is just a simple grammatical error or a misunderstanding on my part but

One thing I find a tad weird is how openly Celestia talks about her rape. Maybe it's been long enough that she's that bothered by it anymore, but then, she's still on a warpath.

I am guessing or assuming that Celestia is angry at the Dragon race because she felt weak and could not stop it. She holds a grudge against them and she wants to make them suffer like she did no matter how long it passes. You could also say that is how a villain is born.

8659253
You can punch through plate with a metal spike, yes, but not the kind of pins Rarity stuck in Spike. At least not with the force she used.

The second sentence is a case of missing word. I meant not bothered by it. It's fixed now.
I do understand Celestia's reasoning. It was just... that she strews that in so readily amazed me. I would have expected her to imply it or something. Like, "I'll make them pay for what happened to me!" But perhaps this Celestia isn't one for subtlety.

If Spike is a child by rape, why is he full-dragon and not half-dragon? I'm gonna give a like anyway for interesting concept. This seems like Spike lives in a universe where Celestia's evil, though.

As long as Spike tells them about his condition.

8659769
No, he's not a child by rape. A later nightmare give more canonical history of the universe.

Hmmm you know the bit with Celestia being raped sounds a little suspicious. Don't get me wrong this is a good story it's just I find it a bit...shady that something like that would happen to her so easily.

If you ask I think she let herself get raped just so she can have an excuse to enslave the Dragons, but maybe I'm thinking too far into this but we'll see.

Hmm this is very interesting to say the least. We don't know the way the events went with Celestia, I am thinking it best chance happen during the very early years of her life like around the time when Luna was still around and she was still very new. That would also make it around the time that Discord was ruling and all the tribes were at war with one another. That could have been the platform Celestia rose to power under, anti dragon. And with Discord being around, who to the masses seem dragonlike, would be easy to shift all the issues anyone could face onto them helping her let out her built up hate for the race. There is also how will THIS Celestia react to Spike. I mean sure she might not hate them but come on even she would want to find out more about this dragon that just showed up and in this state. I want to see Spike's mentality towards ponies, I think some PTSD and some real issues about being around alot of ponies would come up. And one major thing I think are his dragon instincts. I mean that rage, hate, and all those negative feelings he has held all these years didn't go away and are still there.

8661137
It happened when she was still pretty young and inexperienced in magic

8661409
Well, I have a few Ideas that you'll just have to wait as see as the story is fleshed out. I'm not giving anything away, but, you're on the right track

This is one of the betterone

Interesting.:moustache:

Dude awesome any idea when the next chapter is coming out

8668857
should be out by friday hopefully

This has potential, and it's fairly well written, so lets see where it goes.

I want to read this. I really do, but you have a history of incomplete stories. Stories that stop updating bug me. :coolphoto:

8686611
I'm still writing them. College got in the way

What a story!

The multiverse is a big place. The other Twilight did well to find a better one to send Spike to, now that begs the question as to what Spike will do in this new world. He has already found this world's Twilight, but what will happen between him and the Princess?

8755720
Spoiler Alert: Harem Inbound

This is a pretty awesome story. Thou got to ask will the other Celestia try to hunt down Spike even if he on another reality?

Not a bad start at all. The only thing I found to be kinda weird is how he payed so much attention to the bust of every girl there. Honesty this is a dragon who has spent most if not all his life being treated like a slave, abused, and made to feel like less than shit by mares very much like them. He JUST got away from his captures and find himself in a strange new world where everything seem to be different. I think a mares tits would be the last thing he would be paying attention to lol. It is just I think really right now at this point romance should be the last thing on his mind AT all. I think the biggest thing to get ready for that down the road is building the new relationship and trust what will be needed. Since in this world they would be far FAR from use to Spike there would be a hella of a hard time really trusting him fully since none of them have any history with dragons besides the one they had to scare off. If this is a clop story than nvm my comments but if it is more than that I hope this is how we see it go. See them help him while also learning about dragons as Spike will most likely have very bad case of PTSD and many other issues from his old world.

Pretty good but feels short, could just be I'm reading on phone or I'm used to longer chapters but it seemed short. Also kinda felt filler but of the good variety. Overall good setup cjapter

8797374
This is, in essence, an adventure Harem story, with clop scenes, instead of a full blown clop story. And I just added the bust sizes in last minute at like 1:30 am.

8797324
No. A different enemy is coming to town

Pinkie Pie [...] and a pony named Starlight Glimmer had to chase after and comfort Fluttershy after she nearly ran through a wal to get away from the ‘monstrous dragon’.

So, baby dragons are okay, but teenage dragons not?

This was going to be a long day for Spike.

Considering his previous life it's still pretty good.



Nice to see a new chapter for this story!
I was already wondering whether or not it will come at all.
Looks promising, but I have to aggree with 8797374.
And I suggest you should think about an rough outline where you want your story to go. Otherwise you will quickly reach a point where you don't know what to do next. (Just an well-intentioned suggestion.)


Found two typos:

the Flutthershy of this world

:pinkiehappy:: "That's not how you write Fluttershy, silly one!"

ran through a wal

You meant "wall", right?

8802019
Yeah, sorry. Most of this chapter was written late at night around 1 or 2 am, so, I'm still working out the bugs.

And thank you for catching those typos

8802019
Oh, also, this Fluttershy never met this world's Spike, so she doesn't know that any dragons can be kind

tail her short, Think her should be hair there. (It's Big Mac's.)

This story is quite a bit more interesting and better edited(even if it's after post) than a lot of the more recent one's I've read. Shame it's not getting as much attention as some of that... less than good writing. I look forward to more... and the budding bromance that leads to O&O

"It's guy love between two guys!" - Scrubs

8865171
No, I was supposed to type were. I just failed a bit.

And thank you! I've been writing since I was 11, so I just add to the experience. And I hope you continue to enjoy the fic!

I have to say, this story is taking quite a different turn from others I've read, BUT different can be a good thing. I like what i'm seeing, and i hope to see more chapters of this story soon!

please keep it going.
this is getting interesting

8869613
I know I am enjoying how the story is going.

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