Not a bad start at all. The only thing I found to be kinda weird is how he payed so much attention to the bust of every girl there. Honesty this is a dragon who has spent most if not all his life being treated like a slave, abused, and made to feel like less than shit by mares very much like them. He JUST got away from his captures and find himself in a strange new world where everything seem to be different. I think a mares tits would be the last thing he would be paying attention to lol. It is just I think really right now at this point romance should be the last thing on his mind AT all. I think the biggest thing to get ready for that down the road is building the new relationship and trust what will be needed. Since in this world they would be far FAR from use to Spike there would be a hella of a hard time really trusting him fully since none of them have any history with dragons besides the one they had to scare off. If this is a clop story than nvm my comments but if it is more than that I hope this is how we see it go. See them help him while also learning about dragons as Spike will most likely have very bad case of PTSD and many other issues from his old world.
Pretty good but feels short, could just be I'm reading on phone or I'm used to longer chapters but it seemed short. Also kinda felt filler but of the good variety. Overall good setup cjapter
8797374 This is, in essence, an adventure Harem story, with clop scenes, instead of a full blown clop story. And I just added the bust sizes in last minute at like 1:30 am.
Pinkie Pie [...] and a pony named Starlight Glimmer had to chase after and comfort Fluttershy after she nearly ran through a wal to get away from the ‘monstrous dragon’.
So, baby dragons are okay, but teenage dragons not?
This was going to be a long day for Spike.
Considering his previous life it's still pretty good.
Nice to see a new chapter for this story! I was already wondering whether or not it will come at all. Looks promising, but I have to aggree with 8797374. And I suggest you should think about an rough outline where you want your story to go. Otherwise you will quickly reach a point where you don't know what to do next. (Just an well-intentioned suggestion.)
Found two typos:
the Flutthershy of this world
: "That's not how you write Fluttershy, silly one!"
tail her short, Think her should be hair there. (It's Big Mac's.)
This story is quite a bit more interesting and better edited(even if it's after post) than a lot of the more recent one's I've read. Shame it's not getting as much attention as some of that... less than good writing. I look forward to more... and the budding bromance that leads to O&O
I have to say, this story is taking quite a different turn from others I've read, BUT different can be a good thing. I like what i'm seeing, and i hope to see more chapters of this story soon!
This is a pretty awesome story. Thou got to ask will the other Celestia try to hunt down Spike even if he on another reality?
Not a bad start at all. The only thing I found to be kinda weird is how he payed so much attention to the bust of every girl there. Honesty this is a dragon who has spent most if not all his life being treated like a slave, abused, and made to feel like less than shit by mares very much like them. He JUST got away from his captures and find himself in a strange new world where everything seem to be different. I think a mares tits would be the last thing he would be paying attention to lol. It is just I think really right now at this point romance should be the last thing on his mind AT all. I think the biggest thing to get ready for that down the road is building the new relationship and trust what will be needed. Since in this world they would be far FAR from use to Spike there would be a hella of a hard time really trusting him fully since none of them have any history with dragons besides the one they had to scare off. If this is a clop story than nvm my comments but if it is more than that I hope this is how we see it go. See them help him while also learning about dragons as Spike will most likely have very bad case of PTSD and many other issues from his old world.
Pretty good but feels short, could just be I'm reading on phone or I'm used to longer chapters but it seemed short. Also kinda felt filler but of the good variety. Overall good setup cjapter
8797374
This is, in essence, an adventure Harem story, with clop scenes, instead of a full blown clop story. And I just added the bust sizes in last minute at like 1:30 am.
8797324
No. A different enemy is coming to town
So, baby dragons are okay, but teenage dragons not?
Considering his previous life it's still pretty good.
Nice to see a new chapter for this story!
I was already wondering whether or not it will come at all.
Looks promising, but I have to aggree with 8797374.
And I suggest you should think about an rough outline where you want your story to go. Otherwise you will quickly reach a point where you don't know what to do next. (Just an well-intentioned suggestion.)
Found two typos:
: "That's not how you write Fluttershy, silly one!"
You meant "wall", right?
8802019
Yeah, sorry. Most of this chapter was written late at night around 1 or 2 am, so, I'm still working out the bugs.
And thank you for catching those typos
8802019
Oh, also, this Fluttershy never met this world's Spike, so she doesn't know that any dragons can be kind
tail her short, Think her should be hair there. (It's Big Mac's.)
This story is quite a bit more interesting and better edited(even if it's after post) than a lot of the more recent one's I've read. Shame it's not getting as much attention as some of that... less than good writing. I look forward to more... and the budding bromance that leads to O&O
"It's guy love between two guys!" - Scrubs
8865171
No, I was supposed to type were. I just failed a bit.
And thank you! I've been writing since I was 11, so I just add to the experience. And I hope you continue to enjoy the fic!
I have to say, this story is taking quite a different turn from others I've read, BUT different can be a good thing. I like what i'm seeing, and i hope to see more chapters of this story soon!
please keep it going.
this is getting interesting
8869613
I know I am enjoying how the story is going.
Please keep going
Is this dead now?
So is there two Spikes now or does this new universe not have one?
10017524
This universe has one, it's just that this Universe's Spike was given back to the dragons after he was hatched
Is this gonna continue?
10122075
Yes it is. I'm currently writing the next chapter now
10123053
yay
I do hope you aim to see this story through cuz it seems like an interesting AU story with plenty of feels