• Member Since 10th Nov, 2015
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago


Love to read, write and be awesome!!! It's very nice to meet you.

Comments ( 118 )

Right off the bat the summery says a lot and yet it only draws me in more. So well done on that and hope to see more I can the future.

Luna talks and thinks like a teenager, not an immortal princess from 1000 years ago.

In the comic books she's a lot more childish than in the show. You will be surprised. And in the book The Journal of the Two Sisters, Luna did not act like a princess.

Well, she spent those 1000 years trapped inside Nightmare Moon on the moon, so she's 1000 years old only physically, not mentally.


So stuff you pay for is canon? *insert thinking emoji here*

I know people are going to dislike this story because it's about rape, but come on people it's just a story. Let's not think too deep about it.

You know guys, you could actually read it instead of disliking instantly simply because your waifu is being hurt. Give a story a chance before you decide that it sucks.

If I'm reading this right then Luna should still have her magic... didn't see anything about stallion taking that way..

I mentioned it. It's there. You just probably missed it.

8327531 We forgot to include it but He had a friend in the black market who owed him a favor, so he had his friend construct a magic inhibitor horn ring.

This would be a fair reaction to the criticism if not for the fact that the story deserves the negativity it's getting; way more, even: grammar worse than what a middle-schooler should have in a pornographic story? It makes me think the author is not old enough to legally read this sort of fiction should he try to acquire it through a physical vendor, much less write and publish them. Worse is the fact that this is not the biggest flaw in the story, but still a fatal flaw regardless of the actual content and themes in it.
In fact, comments do complain about the braindead characterization, and all the author responds with is a particularly bad argument: not only the comics canonicity is debatable, the childish depiction of Luna only appears in a few very poorly written issues scripted by Katie Cook (infamous among comic fans for writing most of the worst stories in the series), and even then the character is not nearly as clueless and meek as the one presented in this story. Most other issues have shown a - even if not as competent and complex as the show suggests - more mature, serious and assertive Luna.
In fact - again - there are more comments complaining about the general idea of people disliking the story "simply because it contains X thing" than there are actual people complaining about the story at all! So, how about following your own advice and read the comment section first before opining about the comment section? As for the people who disliked the story and didn't comment: you have no idea whether or not they actually read the story first and why they disliked it, you're just throwing a lame excuse to defend the author from a negative reaction given by majority of the public and based entirely on the same kind of prejudice you decry. It only makes me think you are one of these people who sees something and, without much thinking about it, decide they like it; coming to the conclusion that, because they like it, it is good, and becomes unable to critically observe the thing and find it's flaws; as glaring as they may be to the rest.

8327594 you can think whatever you like, it's your opinion after all!

Well if you read my author's note I did say I never wrote a story like this before. I did say it wasn't going to be the best. I knew when I first wrote this it wasn't going to be the best rape story. Also you know in all fairness it is called a fanfiction for a reason. When we write the stories, we make the best prediction of what we think a character reaction will be like. I'm just going on the knowledge I know from the comic books, fanfiction and show. And to me she's just childish. She did a lot of crazy things. she did things that even stunned me.

But you are allowed to have your own opinions.

I didn't think it was that bad. And I thought Luna personality was okay. She showed stubbornness and struggles at the same time, fear. And to be fair I don't know if you'll act like yourself when you're being viciously rape like that.

ehhhh it's an good fan fiction again luna is very childish in the comics (I read them it's fully true) However people who didn't read the comics are complete noobs. I have to say this is very well done in fact 9/10 is best for this fiction if it's going to comic wise, however if it was the tv show series I would have to give it at least 7/10 because luna did act childish during nightmare night. However she did mature a lot in the show than in the comics.

8327966 thanks for the kind words on our story!

I agree, the story leading up to the kidnapping makes no sense, and the answer behind it also makes no sense. I personally don't mind the re-characterization of ones personality for it adds a twist I guess to the story.

I was stupid enough to read this out of boredom, and I was more emotional for about 20 minutes after reading. I can't see how people get turned on by rape-fics. It might just be me questioning that

Comment posted by kildeez deleted Sep 5th, 2017

ohhhh come ON.....WHY does everyone have to make rape..needlessly BRUTAL....*sigh* Isn't the act of controlling incentive enough?

There are acceptable mistakes and there are unacceptable mistakes, guess which category poor grammar fits into.
There's also a difference between stretching a character's traits or changing them for the sake of storytelling, and having extremely poor, one-dimensional or even non-existent characterization.
But since we are already playing the "just an opinion" and the back-patting games it would be a complete waste of time to deeply explain these concepts, their differences and how to execute them in a reader-satisfactory way.
No "it's fanfiction" is not an excuse either, many great classics of literature have come from fanfiction from other, older, classics (Tolkien's works were a fanfiction of bible books with British/Scot folk tales mixed in, Lewis' Narnia was a fanfiction of Lord of the Rings, all of Disney's classics are retellings of the Grimm's own take on some old Germanic fairy tales) and even in this webpage you can find amazing works of art from people who have actually done their proper amount of research and analysis. Of course, these people didn't start writing literary masterpieces right away; but since their early drafts -messy as they may be - you could tell they were actually invested in the concept of writing fiction, be it as profession or just a hobby.

I don't care what anyone thinks. I love it.

I love this story. Like you have no clue, can't wait to get the next chapter.

8352212 Thanks for the kind words on our story!

8358098 Thanks for the kind words on our story!

I don't mean to be a rusher but is the next part still coming out? I am just wondering if this is a canceled project or if the next part is just taking a while.

It's taking a little longer. I have school and life problems, so it been hard. Don't worry. It's not cancel. One thing you need to know about me is that I never start a story unless I know for sure I will finish it.

I know it been forever since a update. Life and school have kept me busy. But I will be able to work on it this weekend. Hopefully next week there will be a new chapter.

Comment posted by Night Wish deleted Dec 12th, 2017

This is good. Nice to see another chapter is up.
I really hope Celestia comes to save her, or that Luna will somehow trick that stallion into letting her go before killing him.

The title made me snicker because it is just day three while the others are ''the nightly wake up'' and ''the day that followed''.

Yeah I know:rainbowlaugh:. I couldn't think of anything else.

8606531 i'm afriad that's our little secret until the end

I see.
Well, it's a good thing like surprises. Depending on what kind they are, of course. :raritywink:

8607131 :pinkiehappy: glad you like the story so much!

Thanks. I was really scared of continuing this story. I was so close on just giving up on it. But I told myself not too. Hearing you say that lets me know that I'm doing alright.

Just found this story, loving it so far! Can't wait to read more.

To the author: Stop acting like a goddamn child when someone says something mean about your work. Grow up and learn how to take criticism properly. The proper response is to think about what the commenter said, analyze your story, and figure out a way to improve it. If someone says, "Luna is acting way too young for her age," or " your grammar is atrocious," don't respond with "REEEE IT'S FANFICTION, THAT'S JUST YOUR OPINION" and act as though someone just personally insulted you. The entire point behind posting works of fiction on a public forum is to get feedback and to improve your skills as a writer. When you respond to negative comments as though they just proclaimed that they cock-slapped your mom, then are you surprised when they start to get nasty after that point? You are very much capable of doing better than this, and it's all a matter of how much effort you're willing to put into learning. And not throwing a fit when someone criticizes your work is step one to being a better writer.

First I can handle criticisms. I love constructive criticism. I don't mind listening and talking advice. But there's a difference between being construct and just being mean. I was just defending my story to the ones who weren't being constructive. Even then, I didn't say anything mean to them or about them. I can handle criticize. But I will defend myself. There is nothing wrong with that. I guess it's how you look at it.

This is the problem with these kidnap stories. They never go for the kill.

Well...it's like that for the show too.

This is as far from the show as you can get and still be pony-related.

Login or register to comment