It was only a fight. It was never supposed to turn out like this. She just needed a couple of hours of peace and now Luna find herself locked up in a basement
This is good. Nice to see another chapter is up. I really hope Celestia comes to save her, or that Luna will somehow trick that stallion into letting her go before killing him.
8606531 Thanks. I was really scared of continuing this story. I was so close on just giving up on it. But I told myself not too. Hearing you say that lets me know that I'm doing alright.
To the author: Stop acting like a goddamn child when someone says something mean about your work. Grow up and learn how to take criticism properly. The proper response is to think about what the commenter said, analyze your story, and figure out a way to improve it. If someone says, "Luna is acting way too young for her age," or " your grammar is atrocious," don't respond with "REEEE IT'S FANFICTION, THAT'S JUST YOUR OPINION" and act as though someone just personally insulted you. The entire point behind posting works of fiction on a public forum is to get feedback and to improve your skills as a writer. When you respond to negative comments as though they just proclaimed that they cock-slapped your mom, then are you surprised when they start to get nasty after that point? You are very much capable of doing better than this, and it's all a matter of how much effort you're willing to put into learning. And not throwing a fit when someone criticizes your work is step one to being a better writer.
8613985 First I can handle criticisms. I love constructive criticism. I don't mind listening and talking advice. But there's a difference between being construct and just being mean. I was just defending my story to the ones who weren't being constructive. Even then, I didn't say anything mean to them or about them. I can handle criticize. But I will defend myself. There is nothing wrong with that. I guess it's how you look at it.
Most stories involve the bad guy losing, getting his comeuppance and being punished for their crimes; I want to see this bad guy win. I want to see Luna broken, to see her meekly obeying this stallion's every order with not a single thought of resistance or escape left in her shattered mind; Celestia and the Elements unable to find and rescue her until long after this stallion's had his fill of her, and said stallion getting away scot-free.
That would be an interesting story, in my eyes. A permanent loss for the good guys, an undeniable victory for the bad, and some tasty slave rape. Something different than the norm.
Not bad
This is good. Nice to see another chapter is up.
I really hope Celestia comes to save her, or that Luna will somehow trick that stallion into letting her go before killing him.
The title made me snicker because it is just day three while the others are ''the nightly wake up'' and ''the day that followed''.
8606593
Yeah I know. I couldn't think of anything else.
8606531 i'm afriad that's our little secret until the end
8607102
I see.
Well, it's a good thing like surprises. Depending on what kind they are, of course.
8607131 glad you like the story so much!
8606531
Thanks. I was really scared of continuing this story. I was so close on just giving up on it. But I told myself not too. Hearing you say that lets me know that I'm doing alright.
Just found this story, loving it so far! Can't wait to read more.
8613107
Glad you like it.
To the author: Stop acting like a goddamn child when someone says something mean about your work. Grow up and learn how to take criticism properly. The proper response is to think about what the commenter said, analyze your story, and figure out a way to improve it. If someone says, "Luna is acting way too young for her age," or " your grammar is atrocious," don't respond with "REEEE IT'S FANFICTION, THAT'S JUST YOUR OPINION" and act as though someone just personally insulted you. The entire point behind posting works of fiction on a public forum is to get feedback and to improve your skills as a writer. When you respond to negative comments as though they just proclaimed that they cock-slapped your mom, then are you surprised when they start to get nasty after that point? You are very much capable of doing better than this, and it's all a matter of how much effort you're willing to put into learning. And not throwing a fit when someone criticizes your work is step one to being a better writer.
8613985
First I can handle criticisms. I love constructive criticism. I don't mind listening and talking advice. But there's a difference between being construct and just being mean. I was just defending my story to the ones who weren't being constructive. Even then, I didn't say anything mean to them or about them. I can handle criticize. But I will defend myself. There is nothing wrong with that. I guess it's how you look at it.
Most stories involve the bad guy losing, getting his comeuppance and being punished for their crimes; I want to see this bad guy win.
I want to see Luna broken, to see her meekly obeying this stallion's every order with not a single thought of resistance or escape left in her shattered mind; Celestia and the Elements unable to find and rescue her until long after this stallion's had his fill of her, and said stallion getting away scot-free.
That would be an interesting story, in my eyes. A permanent loss for the good guys, an undeniable victory for the bad, and some tasty slave rape. Something different than the norm.