It was only a fight. It was never supposed to turn out like this. She just needed a couple of hours of peace and now Luna find herself locked up in a basement
Well, this is a turn of events. A red and black unicorn, the most common of all evil ponies.
Also, I just wanted to point out that you forgot something in this new chapter. I'll point the detail out with a comparison of two scenes, one from the previous chapter, and the recent.
Previous chapter
“No, she really won't. But I would love to see her try,” He said as he grabs a mini vibrator and tapes it to her clit, while taping the controls to her inner thigh
“What? What are you doing?” Luna asked cautiously, squirming slightly in an attempt to break free, and he said nothing as he inserts a dildo vibrator in her pussy and a normal dildo in her ass.
“Wha- Stop! Pull those out of me this instant!” Luna demanded as he secured the toys.
“This is my only foolproof slut breaker! We'll see how you are in a week,” He said as he turned on both vibrators. "See you in the morning."
“What?! No, I-I- Please don’t leave me like this, I’m begging you!” Luna pleaded, feeling the pleasure in her crotch from the approaching orgasm that she knew was coming. "Pull them out! Pull them out! Now!"
Recent Chapter
Once it was free, Luna began coughing and gasping for clean air. "I-I need to use the bathroom," she wheezed.
He gave her a suspicious glare. "Really?"
"Please master?" Luna asked as innocent as she could make herself sound.
"Hmm....try anything and you'll regret it."
He removed vibrators from her pussy much to Luna's relief. Her eyes then widened when she heard the sounds of chains rattling above her. The chain that was holding her in place gave out, letting her fall to the floor. As she landed, she winced from the feeling of her numb forelegs hitting the floor. She grunted in pain. Even with her body free, she made no movement at all. She stayed completely still.
If you could figure it out, the stallion left a dildo in her ass, and secured it into her. In the recent chapter, you forgot to mention that he removed it. Though I could be wrong and assume that you intended for him to leave that dildo in her ass. Just pointing it out in case you forgot about that little detail.
Anyway, good job. It just too bad that she didn't do a Sarah Conner in Terminator 2, when trying to escape.
8703828 No problem. Always keep in mind that one of the major things of writing any muti-chapter story. Always remember to keep track of every detail no matter how big or small. That prevents things like that happening. Keep up the good work.
This is the problem with these kidnap stories. They never go for the kill.
Kill him luna!
8701823
Well...it's like that for the show too.
8701985
This is as far from the show as you can get and still be pony-related.
8701986
True. True. I'll give you that.
8702019
A thank you
Hand?
Loving the story, thanks for the update!
MORE!
Well, this is a turn of events. A red and black unicorn, the most common of all evil ponies.
Also, I just wanted to point out that you forgot something in this new chapter. I'll point the detail out with a comparison of two scenes, one from the previous chapter, and the recent.
Previous chapter
Recent Chapter
If you could figure it out, the stallion left a dildo in her ass, and secured it into her. In the recent chapter, you forgot to mention that he removed it. Though I could be wrong and assume that you intended for him to leave that dildo in her ass. Just pointing it out in case you forgot about that little detail.
Anyway, good job. It just too bad that she didn't do a Sarah Conner in Terminator 2, when trying to escape.
8702673
I didn't notice that. Thanks for pointing it out to me.
8702351
I like your picture.
8703828
No problem. Always keep in mind that one of the major things of writing any muti-chapter story. Always remember to keep track of every detail no matter how big or small. That prevents things like that happening.
Keep up the good work.
8704526
Will take take note of that and thanks.
i hope after some more sexy tourture luna can have a bit of revenge
Loving what you've done so far, but then again, it was our idea :)
Crimson Skies. We seriously need a group for this guy