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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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...oh sweet Boss...
Pie cake best invention
Seriously?! Twilight got disappointed in Trixie JUST FOR FUCKING TALKING?
You know what Twilight? Just die.
I really hope that Trixie gets rescued or something.
Just to clarify, still an awesome story! Just the fact that it made me care about Trixie enough to hate what Twilight is doing to her is impressive.
952211
To maintain the universal balance, of course!
952409
What got her over the edge?
952503
With an army of pie-cakes, one could easily take over Equestria, I'm sure.
952508
I've re-worded it "slightly", though not significantly.
952508
Where does Twi get angry at Trixie for talking in this chapter? I went over it several times and came up with nothing.
Anyone else kinda hungry for Pie Cake? BRB!
952552
When she asks "What's pie-cake?"
952553
Nopony can resist the pie cake. Nopony.
Twilight needs a serious attitude adjustment. I'm calling Celestia.
On another note I think Pinkie just made the holy grail of cake. Way to go Pinks.
Sometimes, I'm not quite sure why I'm still reading this. I want to think it's because I hope at some point Twilight will stop being an asshole and everything will be fine and happy, but...
I'm starting to reach a limit here. I have a feeling shit will hit the fan during this said party and that will be the breaking point.
952557
Ah, I see. But you have to admit, it was a pretty stupid question.
Pinkie has no idea of what she has done! She created the first weapon of MASS DESTRUCTION! just imagine one of those cakes in the middle of canterlot fifty foot high thirty foot across! THE WHOLE WORLD could easily be her's if only she knew. i wish i could taste it.
952587 Oh, you mean do the thing any one of her friends would have done by know (except Rarity, who is a different kind of idiot here)? This entire thing is so out of character so much that they might as well be changelings. Well, except maybe RD (let's rape her, that'll show her that our relationship is a good thing), AJ (how dare you make sense!), and Spike. Jesus, talk about derping the characters and changing canon to suit the needs for a clop. Not to mention that this author missed the point of the last part of "Lesson Zero" so hard it hurts. The author simply doesn't want to end their story, so he changes the interpretation just to give a bad excuse to prolong this. Just... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png what the fuck? There is absolutely no reason why Spike or AJ wouldn't write a letter, unless you change it to fill the massive plot hole this story has. "I don't want a deus ex machina, even if it makes sense in this matter!" No, you want to elongate this as much as possible, just admit it. Forcing drama for the sake of drama, I guess.
952575
Any character development in a fanfic automatically makes the character OOC, as this development is not presented in the show. With that said, I'm not slaving myself to it past the first couple of chapters or so.
952587
That's one way to put it.
952636
Then please, enlighten me. The least you could do is be constructive instead of going around kicking in sand castles.
A Pinkie Pie Cake? Sweet Celestia.. Equestria is doomed if she ever unveils that thing.
I love this story.. I'm glad you update it so fast
Spike should be writing to Celestia now.
952672 I've seen your responses, so I'm not even going to bother, since it would be mirroring their complaints while adding the words "OOC" and "contrived" all over the place. It's not like you're going to listen anyway, so have a visual representation of what this story is too me now:
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJQMjAxMi8wNy8yMi8wMl8wOF8yN182NjlfZ2lmX3JlcXVlc3RfX2RlcnBzbGlkZV9ieV9kaWxlYWtzdHVkaW9zX2Q0bWp4ZHQuZ2lmBjoGRVQ/52265__UNOPT__safe_derpy-hooves_animated_artist-dileak.gif
952674
I'll try to keep that up as long as possible.
952686
He would if he had some form of mindsight, perhaps, but from where he is right now not even a telescope would help much.
Lord of the cakes
The cake of Pie is to dangerous to weild and must be sent back to the bakery from hence it came
wow twi is turning into a little monster...
952636
While I agree that some things are out of character I think I can see what the authors doing.
Let's start with Twilight. Now her initial plan to change Trixie by giving her another role to slip into was good but what Twilight didn't account for was her own psychological link to it. By which I mean with Trixie in a sub role a piece of Twilight's psyche came out. She's, in a twisted sense, reversed the role of herself and Celestia. Where Twilight is the all mighty figure and Trixie is the pony who would do anything for her.
I can attribute Raritys actions to her viewing this whole affair as a scandalous and interesting thing to watch so she lets it slide. I don't really have a problem with the other characters.
I will say though that if Twilight gets any more out of touch I'm gonna be disappointed.
952724 I can understand that.
You and me both.
952691
If you've read my responses and cannot figure out any reply to them except for repeating the thing they were a response to, you should indeed not bother. I maintain that, without either Celestia or Twilight telling the other ponies that the "dragging Twilight back to magic kindergarten" thing was never really something that could feasibly happen, they would think Celestia capable of such things. Celestia obviously never told them, as we can be more or less sure that all instances where she met the other mane 6 were displayed on the show, and there is good grounds to assume Twilight would not have as well.
I am 100% sure that you cannot offer an objectively true line of reasoning as to why all of what I have said is false, just like I cannot offer a 100% objectively true reasoning as to why it is true. I accept this fact. I accept that it is an interpretation, but it is one that has not just been grabbed out of thin air; it has some grounds to stand upon. I believe I am free to choose the interpretation for my story myself.
If it is your opinion that this is not how it should have happened, then I accept that. Were you to write a story, I would not come to comment there offering you my view and insisting that you "missed the point so hard it hurts." You are being unnecessarily offensive, both in your choice of words as in your so called "visual representations". I am unsure why you chose this hostile approach over a calm one, that would perhaps have offered more chance of success.
Spike isn't writing a letter because he's NOT THERE TO SEE IT, and AJ isn't because of the reasons I've put forth. It is alright for you to disagree that those reasons are the most feasible ones, but your absolute assurance that you are right and I am wrong is somewhat arrogant to say the least. Should you ever choose to write a story incorporating those elements, I sincerely hope nobody comes by with my view and starts harassing you with that. It wouldn't be proper.
Long story short: Criticism = ok, pointless insults for the sake of being hostile = why are you still here?
I have no personal quarrel with you, and I never had the illusion that pleasing everybody was possible, but it does sadden me that it came to such adversity.
952736 Fine, I forget that I suck at inflection on the internet. I guess I need to take a step back after reading something. Oh well. Sorry about all that.
Have a much better gif for being an awesome responder:
cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSI5MjAxMi8wNy8yMi8wOF8xOV8wOF85ODFfNTI2NTJfX3NhZmVfYW5pbWF0ZWRfZGlzY29yZAY6BkVU/52652__safe_animated_discord.gif
a Pinkie Pie cake? OH GOD.....
Hmm, for some reason, every time Twilight bosses around Trixie I cringe inside......
"Grown-ups are talking?"
Haha, screw you Twilight.
That Pinkie Pie cake is a WOGD...Weapon Of Gastronomic Destruction.
LOL oh my god Pinkie Pie, be the death of us all with that cake of hers! This is a hilarious chapter! Just what I needed after the last one, some comic relief. Great job on Pinkie Pie, I can imagine her doing this.
952769
It's alright, I struggle with the same problem much, much worse at times. I just ask you bear with me just a little longer. I'm not trying to "prolong the drama" at all, but I would much prefer for my protagonist to redeem herself, rather than be redeemed by an unstoppable force. In my eyes, that will be a more powerful way of doing it and much closer to an actual redemption.
Thanks for your understanding, and know that people like you are why I am so in love with this community. In any other place on the net, we'd have descended into a flame war long ago. I can only offer you my utmost respect for proving once again that a different kind of conduct -is- possible, even online.
Twilight Sparkle................. Is taking advantage of Trixe......
That cake....ITS SO GOOD BUT...AHHHHH!!!! NO MORE! NO MORE!!!!!
This chapter restored my trust in Twilights INTENTIONS. She is still screwed in the head due to a massive power trip, but her intentions are still sound. She still shows actual love towards Trixie, more so than one would to a mere sex slave...
The fact that this story actually made me feel bad for Trixie is impressive in itself, but the fact that I'm actually starting to dislike Twilight is a bit scary....
Great story though,
I'm anxious to see the next step in Twilight's plan. I have a feeling she's come up with a plan far more complex than has been seen which will hopefully shed some more light on the situation.
952794
The way this fandom resolves conflicts restores my faith in humanity somewhat. I love this fandom.
You know, this is exactly how this situation would play out.
Twilight being the abusive boyfriend, and Trixie being the bottom bitch. Seamless.
When I first started reading this story I wasn't terribly impressed at first. The concept of Trixie coming back to Ponyville with Twilight (of all people) as her only friend and having to learn to be humble sounded like a juicy idea, but then it seemed to move too quickly to seem believable and threatened to ruin what you had going (specifically I mean how readily Twilight made-out with Trixie the first time and just decided that she loved her).
That was before however, and since then the narrative has gone down a more sinister road than I expected, and I find myself intrigued once again. Twilight's slow corruption from helper to manipulator, and Trixie's mental deterioration is presented as far more believable, (disturbingly so in fact) that I'd wager that the first few chapters moved so quickly in order to get us to this point. Although I still feel nit-picky about the Rainbow Dash lunch scene; while it seemed obvious what Twilight had intended to do from the start, it seemed too soon for Twilight to be in on the action herself. Up until now I've pictured Twilight as the "dom" manipulator, and it would have been more believable to have her depicted as sitting back and simply having Trixie do all the "convincing" for her (and tapping her hooves together evilly as she watched, of course).
If I sound overly critical it's because I've enjoyed your writing thus far, and I can see this story going in any number of exciting and disturbing ways. Trixie's state of mind seems to be so malleable, from where she is right now she can barely seem to remember who she used to be, and all it might take is a small push for Twilight to completely destroy her identity. On the other hand Trixie has become conditioned to be so reliant on her Mistress, that even if Twilight suddenly has a crisis of conscience and attempts to stop what's she's doing she might cause her to snap anyways, and more than likely lash out against her. I'll be looking forward to seeing what you have in store for them.
952780 i agree
and ow no pinkie could control celestia with that cake BAD POKEMON SCENE pinkie pie uses pie cake on celestia 1 hit KO it is super effective BAD POKEMON SCENE ends here
anyway keep it up
952612 Trixie dident know Pinkie so i would cut her some slack for it. also she might have not heard pinkie corectly.
I never thought it possible, but I hate Twilight right now.
952794
The problem is were out for Twilight blood, we dont want her to redeem herself, we want her to die a in a horrible, slow and painful way.
And Im not saying that because of how she acts towards Trixie, sure that can be redeemed, but she frigging raped RD, a fillyfooler in denial (at least by claims of a corrupted twilgiht who only sees things the way that benefit her and her plans). If RD wont need therapy for years , and if she will be able to even look at Twilight before that, whoa she would be a tough-crazy SOB.
As for her other friends not knowing anything the others know, why would they not share their concern with the others? Maybe keep it from spike to not emotionally destroy him though. At least applejack would be honest enough to tell the others, maybe that would make a chain reaction and get RD to open up. *shrugs*
hmmm okay ... i wonder how this all will end. and why i read another clop fic with "sad" tag ?!?! >__< stupid me
951742
You are perfectly right about their perception. Had Spike (who knows best) told them what to expect, they wouldn't have needed to worry so much. As we don't know whether he ever cleared the point up, it's valid to assume they still expect the wrong things of Celestia.
i like twilight this way evil and badass great story so far
953816
I don't know about you, but personally, I'm able to see past the fact that she's being a bitch quite a bit, and as such in this fanfic, which bares no significance whatsoever to the universe canon. If you feel like you want Twilight to suffer in such ways for what's written in a fanfic, that's entirely your right to do so.
I, for one, can enjoy Twilight's attitude right now and wait patiently to see how she ends up fixing things and redeeming herself because I can separate fanon from canon, and remember that she's not really like this.
I'm sorry if I'm misunderstanding, but to me, you're talking as if this actually happened in the show and suddenly you hate the character for what was written in a story.
953964
All i comment here i comment for the fic itself and not canon/show.
I keep them apart good enough, just because i dislike the behavior of a character in one fic doesnt mean i hate that character in general. Should have used emoticons to not make it as "dark" as it looks like not. The out for blood was more like a joke, but i do think everything else i said.
Twilight control your self .. you are losing your soul
and and That cake its a lie its dangerous Burp
Fun stuff to read but i gotta say that Twi in the last few chapters gets so far ooc it makes me feel kinda meh
Ps. THANK you for including no-clop chapters
Pinkie and Fluttershy were in Trixies episode.
951742 sweeeeet!
And Twilight is slipping further into madness I think... maybe if she took some time to learn about the magic of friendship... oh wait.
952845
Welcome to the thread, Captain Obvious :p
952886
Well, the maid plan was quite complex in and of itself, and that seems to have... backfired a bit.
953063
Thanks for the post, and your feedback! You've obviously put a lot of work into it.
At any rate, the malleability of Trixie's mind could also prove a boon on the road to recovery, don't you agree?
953422
Yeah, Twilight only said they were going to go see "Pinkie", so when Trixie heard "Pinkie Pie Cake" she assumed only the first part was the name.
953799
953816
For a normal, run-of-the-mill rape case, I would agree with you somewhat. The thing is though, while it certainly started as rape, the question is if it ended as rape? Once Twilight stopped holding her back, she could have easily escaped if she wanted to, but instead she willingly escalated the scene even a bit more. The question is if Rainbow Dash herself even considers it as a rape in the first place, or if she considers it more like a seduction, a seduction which she gave in to at the end.
She didn't run afterwards because she wanted to get away from Twi and Trixie, she ran away because she discovered something about herself that she just could not come to terms with, at least not yet.
Also, I said "somewhat" because the effect of rape on its victims varies greatly. For some it is indeed the psychological trauma of which you speak while for others it, while terrible, is an event they more easily shake off.
954109
You're quite welcome ^^
954291
They weren't there for the show, though, only at the end when she was running away, I think.
954415
There's plenty :p