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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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My first thought when i saw i had a new update from my favourites: "OH, PLEASE TELL ME..." *clicks button scrolls down* "FUCK YESH NEW UPDATE!" i was so bored!
whelp twilight is officially an ass. its sad that she has gone that bad with power.
i really hope this has a happy ending cause right now im having trouble still reading this. seeing Twilight this abusive is making me sick to my stomach.
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Stick with me for a little longer, perhaps you'll be pleasantly surprised ^^
ohh man Applejacl really sees what is going on ..
So is it true. is what she said true
And i'm done! WOOOOOOW! Just wow! The psychology, it went further, Twilight has changed... her personality is becoming more and more like Trixie's old personality... this is insane! I KNEW SHIT WOULD HIT THE FAN SOON! Although... it hasn't fully reached it...Tiny bits of it have. THIS IS GONNA BE SOOOOO AWESOME!
Ooh, is AJ going to lead an intervention against Twilight's intervention? This is becoming extremely interesting... I suppose the easiest way to put a giant wrench in Twilight's plans would be to have Spike send Princess Celestia a note about just what her prized student is doing to another unicorn.
I wonder what will be the tipping point that convinces Fluttershy and/or Spike to actually send the note, or if they'll manage to get through to Twilight before it gets to that point....
Really looking forward to the upcoming chapters, in case you couldn't tell.
947122
It's how she sees it.
947142
Glad poor Trixie's misery excites you :s
947143
I rather keep all views, comments, and links in one place.
947144
It's an interesting theory, and certainly a way of doing it, but wouldn't it speak ill of Twilight if she was only able to see the right path after an intervention of the most powerful being in Equestria? ^^
someone drop a grand piano on twilight
anyway keep it up
Awesomesauce
947152 Well... I am supposed to be the embodyment of evil, mysery and horror... But still i am excited for what's to come! What's to come not only from Trixie's sorrow but from Twi's new found mental instability, Applejack's feelings, etc. I AM JUST OVERALL EXCITED FOR ALL OF THIS!
Yup, saw this one coming! 'course, given the way some clopfic writers operate, it could just as easily have turned into something altogether else, but there were only three ways it could have gone:
1.) AJ calls Twi out on what she's doing
2.) AJ gets subbed and next chapter is obvious clop material
3.) AJ goes Domme and next chapter is obvious clop material
Option 1 is best option, IMHO, and the story is better because of it. It's more "real" in AJ's reaction and presents an honest (heh) response to Mistress Twilight that she wouldn't get from, well, anyone else but Princess Celestia. (And, honestly, depending on just what Princess Celestia taught her star pupil, Celestia might have encouraged it...)
*cough*Molestia*cough*
Mild critique: Overuse of the word "cunt" when referring to female genitalia. As it's generally a bit more shocking than "pussy," as well as a bit more degrading, the excessive use tends to devalue the word and the characters within the story. Since this is a D/s story, perhaps referring to Trixie's genitalia as "cunt" and Twilight's as "pussy" would create a better sense of the Dom/sub rolls as well as creating a better narrative for the reader to follow. Even this, of course, allows for overuse, so I'd suggest using some other common slang forms (snatch, slot, etc.) in greater abundance.
I'm enjoying this, keep it up!
You know what? I agree with AJ on this one. This has gone on long enough.
I have to give this to Applejeck here, Twilight's personality has changed since she had Trixie adopt the maid way of thinking.
I can see this is a psychological training for her and Twilight has only the good for her in mind, but I can see she's changing too and not sure if it's for the best (plot wise) or for the worse (character wise). She has become smug and controlling, not really the Twilight we all know.
Applejack is a smart pony, she sees this and knows it's a strange turn of events.
It's like, Twilight and Trixie exchanged personalities
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Well, it probably wouldn't kill her :p
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Thanks! ^^
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Hope I will not disappoint, then ^^
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Solid advice, I shall go over the instances of it in the story and change it around a bit.
947213 I know you never will!
Lovin the story man! ...also though...I REALLY have the urge to MURDER Twilight...for the smartest mare i can think of (besides possibly fluttershy...we really dont know about that one...) she is being awfully dense but still...the fuming murder urges...THEY HUNGER
Applejack just said what I've been more or less thinking ever since the whole maid thing started. No one's been hurt by it, but I can only hope that Twilight can keep herself grounded so that it stays that way
947213 or just set the 1 winged angel sephiroth on her or just hit her with a frying pan or let applejack at her
no I am not trying to kill her just knock some sense into her
anyway keep it up
Translation for all those who dont get it
: Twilight, you done fucked up in the head!
heh disregarding trixie's emotional instability, twi's apparent fubar for her pyschological intervention amuses me............>.>.......the imminent clusterfuck shall be entertaining...
I was wondering what's Spike been up to since moved in to Flutershy's.
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There, cut down from a total of 20 uses of the word across all chapters, to 8 ^^
947207
You have mangled the last sentence somewhat, so the message is not entirely clear, but +1 for mentioning Aesop, good sir.
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It arguably has!
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Indeed. That Twilight, whatever shall we do with her? A good spanking ought to set her right, but ponies have hooves, so... not very likely.
947210
Twilight was never submissive :p
947231
That's good, fuel your anger, it shall give you a greater connection to the story.
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That's good, every story should have a character more or less in-tune with the readers, if you ask me.
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But Tara is Twilightlicious :(
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More or less!
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Verily.
Why is it only now I realise how much of a cunt Twilight is?
Applejack pretty much said everything that I wanted to smash through the 4th wall and say to Twilight. So well done, Applejack
Applejack is the best pony! Never liked her too much, but she is just awesome in this.
Twilight should be futa abused by her friends for days, then into dungeon full for further abuse by any mare who wants to. After few months of this she might earn her slavery to..lets say applejack?
947432
Every
Villion
Is
Lemons? No she's not!
947208 SOMEONE FINALLY STATED THE OBVIOUS! TWILIGHT HAS GONE TOO FAR ! AND THANK YOU APPLE JACK FOR SAYING THAT!
Now THAT'S aggressive negotiations!
^Nod if you get the reference.
I don't know which pony to side with. Twilight has a good point with making trixie into a maid so she can change her attitude, but applejack is also right. Marefriends shouldn't be between mistresses and maids
So I'm not the only one that thought Twilights been acting wonky. I just hope she realizes it before something bad happens.
947527
Star Wars. Leia says it.
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I'm still surprised the outcry over that is greater than the outcry over the many tortures/murders in my other fic, honestly. I think that if you say "it's just fiction" about murder/death in books/movies/comics, then you have little right to complain here, either. If you are the kind of person who cries foul whenever someone is killed as well, then fine, you've a right to criticise here as well, and go right ahead.
The grand majority, though, do not bat an eye at death or murder in fiction, but when there's rape (and there are some softening circumstances at play here, imo) it's suddenly not just a story anymore. I find that hypocritical, and shall personally never bow down to that view.
Note that I do not approve of rape, no more so than someone who writes a murder into his story approves of murder, and the continuation of the story shall make that abundantly clear. I just wish people would stop being hypocrites over this in the interval.
P.S.: Not to mention that my protagonist is clearly portrayed as the "bad guy" at this point, so how anyone could think I'm trying to pass it off as "not a big deal"...
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Actually it's Padme, Episode II, as she and Anakin are being carted into the Geonosian arena.
As much as i hate to say it, Apple Jack's right with this one.
If you need an example, just look at the last few paragraphs. After something like that, all Twilight can say is "show me how much you love me"? That's not right...
Well.....this is not good at all hmm........Hope that AJ can find a way to get the others to help her fix Twi as it clear she is rapidly going down into a dark place.
First Spike, pretty sure she got RD all upset even if just a bit -not quite sure how RD will react once she has time to think-, and now AJ. 3 down 3 more friends to go......oh and maybe a mentor figure getting upset at her as well just to add a bit more to the fun =w=''
But still VERY good work and how I wish there was more.....oh well I can wait ^^
Wow, all I can say, I have new found respect for Applejack. She pretty much said everything I've been wanting to say to Twilight through this story :S Well, with the exception that I also would've pointed out there are other, more healthy ways to improve somepony's social ability...Like, say, intoducing them to new ponies slowly (Pinkie would be a good start, since Pinkie likes making new friends)...Speaking of, where is Pinkie?
But, yah, two thumbs up for AJ in this chapter ^_^
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Least I had the series and dynasty right ^^
947715
Verily.
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At least I update frequently :p
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Where is Pinkie indeed? *whistles innocently*
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Woo-hoo! I've influenced the creative process! My work here is...no, wait... I'm not done, the story's not done! MOAR!!!
(Thanks for taking my advice, it gives me warm fuzzies!)
Applejack is right. Twilight's abusing her in my opinion as well. I thought Twilight as nice and after this fic I kinda want to throw her into an alligator pit.
947369
A few whips of the horsewhip should do the trick
947111 Like they say "Power corrupts".
Two sayings come to mind right now: 'The road to Hell was paved with good intentions' and 'Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.'
Twilight originally came up with the idea of turning Trixie into her maid in order to help with her attitude. That was BEFORE she found out Trixie's back story. At the point she should have went with her first though that it was time to change strategy. However, consciencely or subconsciencely she realized the power she had over Trixie. That is why she WON'T stopped. She is too power drunk to be able to think clearly. Thus she has become the arrogant, self-centered, sexually deviant BITCH that she is now.
At this point it will take sometime major to snap Twilight out of this and make her see the light. However, I don't expect to happen for another 3 to 5 chapters. I will most definitely be keeping on eye on this.
Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Edit: Oh for pity sake, I just read through all the comments, and I notice that this saying isn't mentioned at all, up until the two posts RIGHT ABOVE MINE...
I...hang on, did I miss something? Is the little maid outfit enchanted, and I just didn't catch it? Because...yeah, I think AJ might have been a little out of line here. Now yes, Twilight is obviously enjoying herself a bit too much...alright, maybe more then a bit. And yes, there's a point where pushing Trixie too far to the other end of the personality spectrum becomes problematic...but she does have a point. To put it in the blunt fahsion that just popped to mind, and apologies if I offend - Trixe was an insufferable bitch. Trixie is now Twilight's bitch. While the method is lacking, the results...well, no one is denying that Trixie's personality has improved.
Again, yes, Twilight is clearly enjoying her power too much, but it seems less an strictly abusive relationship and more a codependent one. Twilight is going on a little power trip, and Trixie, with her need for attention and affection, is letting her, because deep down she's still the sad little orphan who wants to be loved. Let's also remember the most significant, non-familial relationship in Twilight's life to that point - Celestia. Even ignoring the Molestia arguements...she was the personal student to an immortal princess at the least, a freaking goddess at the most, depending on where along the power curve people think the Princesses fall. That's not a relationship between equals, that's Mistress-Student/Servant. Let's all remember Lesson Zero, shall we? I think its safe to say Twilight's view on relationships, sexual or otherwise, might be a little skewed, so she could legitimately think that things are going swimingly. She's in charge, and Trixie panics at the thought of displeasing her. And, compounding the issue, Trixie seems to be "happy" with the arrangement.
No, none of that is a reason not to worry. No, none of that is healthy in the slightest. But at the same time, AJ shouldn't be trying to shame Twilight, she should be trying to get both of them help. And she wasn't strictly wrong to order AJ to leave the library. Applejack was upseting Trixie, who I'm convinced Twilight does care about in her own, rather twisted way. If someone was upsetting someone you care about, and they refuse to stop...what would you do?
Again, not saying that the situation should be allowed to continue. But I think the tendency to demonize Twilight's role is...a bit much. And damn, but I'm wordy when I want to be...sorry for the wall of text.
Oh, one completely unrelated side thought... the spa's "full treatment"...correct in assuming "happy ending?"
Edit: I'm sorry, pet peeve triggered after I posted...that's not the saying, you two. The actual quote is "Power has the tendency to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutly." It speaks towards the trend of the powerful to be corrupt, and for those with more power to be more likely to be corrupt. It doesn't speak towards the level of corruption. I.E. A low ranking police officer has power, and thus might be corrupt. A police commissioner has more power, and thus is more likely to be corrupt, under that logic...but, its entirely possible that the corrupt commissioner might be less corrupt in absolute terms then the lower ranking. Again, nitpicky, and sorry, but I can't help myself with that quote.
947953
But of course, input and creative criticism is what every writer should crave for ^^
947968
You'd sadden Trixie greatly, though.
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948021
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You're all absolutely right. (See what I did there? Haha, I'm such a punny man.)
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My personal stance is that Twilight is somewhat on a power trip, and handling the problem in a way that will, in the end, not lead to "curing" Trixie's condition in any definitive kind of way. She is, however, still Twilight and not evil, and she loves Trixie dearly. It's not like she hits her or anything, and she doesn't slave her to death, either. But she is handling the situation wrong, and she knows it, but she chooses to convince herself with weak "for the greater good" arguments instead of changing anything.
So yeah, not evil, but not exemplary either.
As far as Applejack is concerned, from Twi's PoV, making her leave the library was definitely the thing to do. AJ should've tried not getting mad, and she did start calmly, but as we all know, arguments can get rather heated, especially when one side is sniping comments such as "psychology too hard for a workpony, k?" at the other side of the debate.
So yeah, they're both somewhat to blame. I dislike dealing in absolutes -too- much.
I'm not sure how much Celestia's tutelage affected Twilight in this, but consider: Apart from Celestia, she basically didn't interact with any other pony for years. This means that, at the very least, she is unaccustomed to the situation she is now on. All she has is her experiences with her friends to go by, which may be a bad indication in matters of love, and being currently at odds with several of those friends I can see why she wouldn't fall back upon that.
Also, about the spa: You've seen what Rarity is like in this story, that's all I'll say ^^
948143
Well there's two sides. One is the alligator pit the other is her getting a good yelling from Princess Celestia. I do have a heart so Celestia would be fine.
947152 It's an interesting theory, and certainly a way of doing it, but wouldn't it speak ill of Twilight if she was only able to see the right path after an intervention of the most powerful being in Equestria? ^^
Celestia needs to come in with a Maid outfit for Twilight and needs to retrain her! pls?
948272 id love to see that as a short after shapter when the story is over, exept with mistress Trixie insted. (Celestia should still be the one making it happen.) XD
I came for the pic (hurr) and stayed for the decent into madness. I was questioning Twilight's motives the moment her plan for Dash became obvious. I too think that Applejack should head right on over to Fluttershy's and ask Spike to pass on a message of the utmost concern.
AJ's it totally right though, she's completely changed but only for the better of twilight...for now lol
great stuff though