Chapter - 16 - Oh Manehatten
After arriving in Canterlot still in the dead of night I was immediately brought to Celestia in her private quarters, the bitch masking her emotions well. Shining was his bell-end self throughout, persistently remarking about how I would now be getting what I deserved. After he left, Celestia approached.
"My little pony-"
"Stop fucking calling me that!"
Celestia scowled, "That is what you are."
"No thanks to you."
"I did what was necessary to protect my subjects."
"How does turning me into a midget horse accomplish that?"
"We are ponies," Celestia scolded.
"Yeah, midget horses."
"Why are you being like this, Apollo?" she asked sadly
"Maybe because a certain bitch turned me into a midget horse then blackmailed me afterwards to keep quiet about it?"
"I...regret what happened, but-"
"You regret you fucked up and I realised what you were doing!"
Celestia had no response.
"Still haven't found out who interrupted your spell?"
Celestia looked down to the floor and scuffed the ground with her hoof.
"...no."
"Pity. Well, whoever it was, I owe them. Big time. If it weren't for them, I'd have been turned into a sissy mare with no memory of my past life. So try to get your midget horse brain to try to understand why I don't like you. Or your sycophant little pet."
Celestia sneered fiercely and glared murderous daggers at me, "DO NOT SPEAK OF TWILIGHT IN SUCH A MANNER!"
"But it's true. Anything she does is to only please you. Fuck anything or anyone else."
"Watch your tongue, Vladimir."
"Or what? What more could you possibly do to me?"
"Imprison you. Petrify you...kill you."
"You wouldn't do any of those things. You want to see me suffer. Why else would you have forced me to go to that idiotic back-water cesspit town."
"How dare-"
"And I bet you had something to do with Twilight and her stupid brother being let off the hook. It must be great having a dad who's best buddies with a judge."
Celestia blinked, genuinely surprised, her anger evaporated in a puff of smoke.
"What?" I asked, "Did you really think I wouldn't find out about Night Light being an old school friend of Judge Dundas?"
"I planned to tell you."
"Sure you did. Now if there's nothing else, I'm leaving."
I turned my back and made my way to the door.
"I didn't give you permission to leave!"
"I don't need your fucking permission!" I replied, opening the door only to come face to face with the pink She-Demon.
"For fuck's sake. Not you."
Cadence rolled her eyes, "Hello to you as well, Apollo."
Prissy in Pink walked past me towards Celestia, "Are you OK, Auntie? I heard you yelling."
"I am fine, thank you. Apollo and I were just having a...discussion."
"You just can't stop lying, can you?" I said, looking at her in disgust, "Typical fucking politician."
I left without another word, making my way to the castle entrance, only to be confronted by my creepy stalker Captain Equestria.
"Halt, criminal scum!"
I turned around to face him.
"What?"
"What are you doing roaming free? You should be in chains in the castle dungeons!"
"I checked out early. I didn't like the decor. Can I get a refund?"
He growled at me and brought out some shackles.
"What is it with you putting me in hoofcuffs? At least take me out on a date before you start with the kinky shit."
"SILENCE! You are under arrest!"
"What the fuck for this time?"
"Obstruction of justice!"
"Then in that case you should arrest your dad."
Shining dropped the shackles and looked at me in surprise, "What?"
"Your dad wrote to Judge Dundas, an old friend of his from law school, and had him drop the charges against you and Twilight for what you did to me. Where's my justice?"
"I am a member of the nobility. We are entitled to-"
He didn't get the chance to finish his entitled monologue bullshit before I swung a hoof at him and he fell to the marble floor with a dull thud.
Captain Equestria was out cold.
Oh well. He had it coming.
I locked his forelegs together with the shackles, put the horn inhibitor on his horn and left the castle quickly, eager to not be caught red handed and headed for the train station, making my way there in a matter of minutes. Checking the times I'd have to wait around thirty minutes for the first train to Ponyville. As I was brought to Canterlot against my will, I didn't have my bit bag. I spoke to the station master who agreed to sell me a ticket so long as I paid the fare within seven days after.
I'd be paying even more once Celestia found out I smacked Shining Arsehole.
Oh well.
Some things are worth it.
Some time later I finally made it back to my warehouse/home with no further sign of the Almighty Sun Bitch and despite being awake for most of the night I didn't feel tired so set about working on my engine. The sooner I could prove Sparkles wrong, the better. I wasn't back long before I was interrupted. Not that I minded in this instance.
"Hey Apollo."
"Hey Trixie."
"Trixie thought you were in Canterlot Castle Dungeons?"
"Not exactly. But I was taken to see Celestia."
"Oh? What happened."
"I called her out on her bullshit and walked out."
"OK."
"And then I knocked out Captain Equestria."
"Trixie is most amused. It's about time that pompous fool was put in his place," she added, coming up and nuzzling me, "Are you ready for today's day out?"
"Day out?"
"We were going to go to Manehatten yesterday, but Trixie had to be elsewhere."
"Fine. Wanna head out now? We can get the next train if we hurry. This can wait another day."
*MEANWHILE*
Back at Canterlot Castle, a now conscious Shining Armour was having his cheek massaged by Cadence while Celestia watched on.
"Apollo will pay for what he has done!" he stated firmly, scowling the entire time, "How dare he strike me! A noble! I will have an arrest warrant put out immediately!"
"Don't bother, Shining," Cadence replied, "You'll only make him angrier."
"I don't care. He broke the law and he must pay for it."
"You broke the law too, but your dad's friends got you off the hook."
"We're nobles. We're entitled to-"
"Entitled to what?" Cadence snapped, "Entitled to treat commoners like crap because of the family you were born into?"
"Yes. Commoners are there to serve nobles and do as they are told!"
"You know what?" Cadence snapped again, "Until you change your snobbish attitude you can forget about spending any time with me."
Cadence got up and quickly began to leave the room.
"Cadence!" Celestia called, "Please don't do this."
"I must, Auntie. Now, I'm going to find Apollo and try to smooth things out with him."
Cadence opened the door, but before leaving turned back to Shining, "Oh and in case you forgot, I was a commoner once."
Some time later, Trixie and I finally arrived in Manehatten after travelling first class at Trixie's insistence. No sooner had we arrived had she immediately dragged me over to the richer part of town, most notably where many of the more expensive jewellery stores were located.
I couldn't help but feel as though my wallet was going to take a curb stomp beating.
"Oooh, Apollo!" Trixie called excitedly, "Have you seen this?!"
I dawdled over to where she was standing and sure enough she had laid her eyes upon a large golden tiara with stars across the headpiece, the stars themselves encrusted with diamonds, with a much larger one at the centre, placed higher above. Similar to Twilight's element tiara. Only better.
I looked at the price.
I wished I hadn't.
"Wouldn't Trixie look great and powerful wearing that?"
"Y-yeah," I mumbled, still reeling from the shock of seeing the price, "You'd look great."
"And Powerful."
I stared at it for a bit longer, only to see several seconds later Trixie through the window, pointing at it.
Fuck me, she isn't...
The sales assistant walked over and took the tiara and showed it to Trixie who only seemed to light up even more seeing it up close. She was giddily trotting up and down on the spot as the sales assistant placed it on her head, beaming with excitement the entire time.
As soon as she saw herself in a mirror, she threw a bit bag at the sales pony.
She is.
Deciding I had better go inside and calm her down, or more accurately preventing her from spending bits she didn't have, I made my way inside.
Something I also regret doing.
"Do you like it Apollo?" Trixie asked, holding a crown in front of me, "His and hers!"
Fuck...
I looked at the diamond encrusted crown with a small amount of disdain.
At least it's not a tiara.
"For the garden party?" I asked.
"Of course. Trixie will not have any stallion accompanying her to a garden party look like they have just been dragged through a hedge backwards."
"Why can't I just go in my boiler suit?"
Trixie turned to face me, with what I can only describe that look your mother gives you when you know you've said something you shouldn't have.
"I'll wear a suit!" I quickly rectified, "And the crown."
"Apollo better. Or Trixie will be most unhappy."
After that we decided to head off on our selves for a bit. Trixie went looking for new props for her shows whilst I decided to look for supplies and materials for my own projects. Soon enough, I found a supermarket that sold said supplies as well as food. Making my way in, taking a moment to bask in the delight of the cool air blown from the ACU, I grabbed a trolley and ventured further inside, making my way first to the tools section; all the while my music playing on my iPhone. Said phone being hidden from view.
Despite being a supermarket, there was a fairly good selection of supplies of nails, screws, and whatnot. Filling my trolley with supplies I needed and didn't need, yet, I then decided to head over to the bakery section for something to eat and something for Trixie.
A word of advice.
Don't piss off Trixie.
Anyway, after grabbing a few iced buns and cheese twists, I faintly heard a sound I could only describe as a shrieking banshee.
"EXCUSE ME!"
I turned around and came face to face with a wild Karen.
They even exist in (unicorn) pony form. And like their human counterparts, this Karen began shouting her large mouth off before I could even speak. I removed the ear phones so I could hear what Karen was saying.
"I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES!"
"What?"
"DON'T 'WHAT' ME! YOU ARE AN EMPLOYEE AND I DEMAND YOUR SERVITUDE!"
I then said those most famous words.
"I don't work here lady."
"Yes you do work here!"
"No I don't."
I went back to my business, turning away from here, only to feel myself being yanked back towards her.
"Don't lie to me, Servant! Go and get me the gluten free, 100% organic soya milk immediately!"
"Get it yourself you lazy bitch."
"EXCUSE ME!"
"I. Do. Not. Work. Here."
"Yes you do. I saw you help that filthy mud pony with that disgusting mass produced filth!"
"First off, curb the racism or I'll fucking put you down. Secondly, that 'disgusting mass produced filth' is made the same way you make cookies at home, just on a larger scale, hence 'mass produced', thirdly, you followed me around for twenty minutes and in the process walked passed the milk, and lastly, I! DO! NOT! WORK! HERE!" I bellowed getting in here face.
However, this is a Karen I was dealing with.
"I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!"
My urge to kill was rising greatly.
Fortunately for Karen, her illogical rantings had caught the attention of other store colleagues. One of which was running up the aisle.
It's important to note, I think, that employees here all wear green shirts with their name on them.
You'd have to be a Karen to not tell the difference between who's an employee and who isn't.
"What's going on here?" the employee asked.
"Are you the manager?" Karen asked.
"No. I'm-"
"I DEMAND that you fire your employee immediately!"
"But I'm not-"
"He's been rude to me. Swore at me. Assaulted me. Refused my reasonable request. And he's listening to music while on the job!"
"Ma'am," the employee said, finally getting a word in, "He doesn't work here."
Karen went from Karen look to Karen Plus look.
"Yes he does! I demand to speak to you manager!"
The employee sighed, "I shall go and get him for you ma'am."
The employee left, leaving me with Karen, Seeing no reason to be near the escaped Sea Life exhibit, I began to leave too.
"Where do you think you're going?! Get back here this instant!"
"Piss off, Karen!"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!"
What? She's actually called Karen?
I ignored her and continued to walk, only for her to yank me back with her magic, slamming me quite hard on the floor, my bony plot landing directly onto my tail.
"Fuck!"
"HOW DARE YOU SWEAR IN MY PRESENCE!"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I yelled, standing up and getting into her face again, "JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ENTITLED SPAWN OF TARTARUS GOBLIN SNOT!"
"How DARE you!"
The next thing I felt was a hoof hitting me in the face followed by going head first into the baked goodness, knocking the weaved baskets off of the shelves and onto my head, covering my mane and head in cakes and frosting.
"Serves you right, you uneducated shelf stacker!"
Right then, I heard more voices. I looked up and saw the employee from before return along with an Earth pony wearing a suit, minus the trousers.
"What is going on here?"
"Are you the manager?" Karen asked.
"I am."
"I DEMAND that you fire your employee immediately!" Karen shrieked again, getting in the manager's face, "He's been rude to me. Swore at me. Assaulted me. Refused my reasonable request. And he's listening to music while on the job!"
"Ma'am!" the manager snapped, "He is a customer, not an employee."
Karen put on an even more 'Karen' look of superiority and entitlement, "How dare you! I demand to speak to YOUR manager!"
"Ma'am-"
"Don't 'ma'am' me you filthy mud crawler!" she spat, taking the manager back by surprise, "You can't be the manager! No respectful establishment would appoint a mud pony as a manager. I demand to speak to the Unicorn in charge!"
The manager turned to his employee, "Get security, and call the police."
Karen put on a smug look, turning to me, "You will be going to prison for assaulting me."
"I think not," I replied, getting onto my hooves with the manager's assistance, "Not when there are witnesses-"
"Shut up!" she snapped, "And letting a mud pony touch you? You're a race traitor as well as a layabout and delinquent."
The manager and I shared a look, scarcely able to believe the vile filth coming out of her mouth.
Fortunately, security turned up moments after.
Then Karen did what Karens do.
"YOU'LL REGRET THIS YOU UNEDUCATED MUD CRAWLING TROGLODYTE!" Karen screamed as she was dragged away by in hoofcuffs the police.
"I'M GOING TO REPORT YOU ALL TO CORPORATE AND GET YOU ALL FIRED!"
The manager and I watched as she was taken away, the former waiting until she was gone before turning to me.
"Please accept my most sincere apologies, Mr Apollo."
"You don't need to apologise, you haven't done anything wrong."
"Nonetheless, I apologise and as compensation will gift you a 100 bit gift card."
"Wow. That's great!"
After giving my statement to police I went about completing my shopping, treating myself to some more booze as well, using the gift card I was given. With my two bags of shopping, I left and made my way to meet up with Trixie again.
How exactly do I explain my tardiness?
*MEANWHILE*
I tried to find Apollo earlier, but from what I found out he had already fled. I received a report he was in Manehatten with Trixie and apparently got into an argument against a Unicorn mare in a supermarket, and that Apollo dealt with it in a very Apollo manner.
It can't be easy for him. Knowing what Celestia did to him. And what she initially tried to do.
At least he knows he's not the only former human. Even if he doesn't know who it is.
If only I knew who the other former human was.
*MEANWHILE*
So it seems Celestia has done it again.
As well as find a new pet.
No matter.
It doesn't change my plans.
Celestia will pay for what she did to me.
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just another day in the life of Apollo and dealing with Celestia's hidden masochism fetish of having stallions not treat her like a princess. That or because she has some type of master plan for Vlad is the only reason she hasn't done anything to him major to him for reasons.
Also there seems to besomething about this equestria that has unicorns thinking they're entitled, hope it doesn't spread any important like Lyra, Vinyl, and Trixie along with evolve to infect Cadance or Luna. It already too late for Celestia, luckily it has her acting like fun mom celestia to Vlad.
on the author note, is it someone that was stated in the story or is it a new character? I want to know because Karen is looking like a red herring.
The other human...Karen? XD
Mmmmm....nope.
I guessing its it'sits one of the bad guys, stab in the dark...
Bug queen?
It's Karen isn't it?
I didn’t see this coming, a new chapter and a Karen story? The Reddit gods will be pleased.
I doubt the other human would be Karen but it’ll be hilarious if it actually turned out to be.
Shot in a dark, is it bug queen?
It’s hinted that the transformation could leave the victim unaware or uncaring of their previous life. The other human could be anyone!
More please and fuck celestia etc
Someone should inform the newspaper about Shining...
gonna take a shot in the dark and say the other human is Sunset Shimmer
It kinda felt like a really sudden twist..
Like, going from Celestia being kind to suddenly "She's the villain."
Ok, my memory is not wrong. When I first read this chapter, I had just thought it had been my memory forgetting since I hadn’t read the story in so long but this chapter seems to imply and contradict earlier chapters. I’m rereading and noticing that multiple times it was mentioned that it was his decision to change. I’m rereading and maybe there’s somewhere else that corrects that but this seems like a retcon without the subsequent required edits to earlier chapters to make this make sense. Maybe it’ll make more sense as I continue rereading the story.
Edit: Rereading and got to end of last chapter where it mentions the change and this story feels off in tone and manner. The more I read the more whiplash it seems to generate.
10313495
Well, with the Unicorns acting the way they do in this verse. It's no surprise. Unicorns in the old myths are known to have a superiority complex.
10316975
I've made some changes so hopefully it will be less 'whiplashy'.
10317871
You go from the very dark topic of conversion and mind death to a joke about an idiot in a grocery store, how do you get less whiplashy?
This is further not helped by the earlier characterizations of Celestia. She comes across as the normal, helpful, jokester Celestia who pranks people and not the darker tone you want for this chapter. This is not helped by all the shenanigans involving dresses and everything else. It feels like you started writing one story and decided you wanted to write another later but still have aspects of the original.
10315898
It really isn't a twist. Author has been vary forthcoming that Celestia wrong Apollo deeply, and you just need to read between the lines. I don't believe Celestia is the end all be all big bad evil guy though.
took me a bit to register what was just revealed about celestia but it hit me hard like applejack kicking Apollo hard.
Update please
yo is been a year what happened are you dying by covid or what?
10880437
I'm fine. Just tired from working mostly. And not having much motivation to write right now.
10880597
Ok that reasuring i through you died by covid
Vlad hopefully doesn’t give equestria tech because their basically stealing from him after celestia tried turning him into a mindless pony but we can’t let them get too advanced who doesn’t want a twilight who can’t solve a Rubik’s cube and use a phone
I really want to see this one get updated as well
I hope for more chapters in the future it’s a really good story