"Hey guys settle down we're here to tell our story so the world can know,"
"Just how awesome we are am I right Chuan?"
"Yes San we are awesome as you say but I think our brother wished for use to tell how we came from the Elemental nations to our new home."
"Thank you Baygo you are always the most polite of us."
"Hey, Hotaru how come you get to tell the story?"
"That is simple San, I'm the oldest."
"Only by an hour Hotaru, we were all born the same day remember."
"True but he also drew the short straw as well Chuan."
"Oh yay, I forgot about that, forgive me please carry on."
You know what forget it lets just start the story I think all this talking kind of confused the readers for a bit.
Chuan is Chinese for great river Waterbending Master/Bloodbending/Water Healing
San is Korean for mountain peak Earthbending Master/Metalbending/Lavabending
Baygo is Filipino for strong storm Airbending Master/?bending
Hotaru is Japanese for firefly Firebending Master/Lightningbending /?bending
The CMC and Gabby are aged up to eighteen.
Sweetie Belle and Chuan
Apple Bloom and San
Gabby and Baygo
Scootaloo and Hotaru
And yes the sex rating is there because the four couples do get it on after all the guys are stuck there forever and the girls are old enough so why not.
Your description is going to turn a TON of readers away. It is just so rushed and so is the story. Re-think your description because its mostly just useless banter. It tells us nothing about what the story is about. I
8093718 That's what I wanted is the banter besides I read stories with descriptions of the writer having an argument with Pinkie the whole time.And doing this with the banter would make the readers curious to what the story is all about because right after the story was published I had six people favoring it so I think I did the right thing but I thank you for your comment oh I read your story well not all of it I have the last three chapters to go and I will say it is very good just wish you would continue it here's hoping.
I like this from the description alone.
8151803 Thank you so much, some people just don't get it.
8152196 First off Pinkie stated that the girls would meet the special some ponies and griffon that day. Second I have read where characters fell in love at first site in other stories and third Tai and Luna will explain how they know about the avatar and bending in chapter three. Sorry if this sounds rude but I'm trying not to be.
8152505 None taken and I from the US myself. Plus you also have to realize that these are four eighteen-year-old girls meeting four twenty-year-old hunks two words Raging Hormones
*sees the song starting* nopenopenope *skips the song*
I don't think that you have enough material for a good story. I've the same problem but what I see here is that you have no sense direction for this story. It's just completely random.
The romance is too rushed man.
8175086
nice profile pic and i will never leave them good ponies behind or throw them away
Why does this story have so many dislikes? I mean, it can't be that bad, right? ...Right?
8460789
No, it actually is ok, could use some work but the dislikes are mostly from a group on this site that just, downvote stories without even reading them and in my opinion, it just makes all of them look like sheep for following the crowd.
I like the story idea but every thing seams a little rush and it could use work in other places
Bahamut? Heh. Nice Final Fantasy reference.
That Quagmire reference was so random it made me do a double take
8152647
Oh please, they have NO chance against the Benders, especially them being kids from the Avatar.
They are just overreacting and overprotective, and are gonna get themselves hurt. Besides, considering on how the Human Avatar Brothers are already treating them nicely, their won't be any problems.
Big Mac, your just a overprotective and gullible FOOL!!!!! If you seen what San really does with his Earthbending, Metalbending, and especially Lavabending. You will shit your pants!!!!!
You should be lucky that San was trying to be a nice guy. Otherwise, I will BUST your ballsack with Giant Rocks, or Steel Bars if you push me!!!!!
Oh come on! Your a very strong Earthbender, your are easily stronger than them, right?
Twilight hot