• Member Since 11th Jul, 2021
  • offline last seen April 13th

a touch of sparkles


When my hands fail to draw my stories I write them instead

T

Everything used to be perfect. Sombra was a happy foal, the world was great despite the high chance of freezing. But then it all disappeared. Ripped away in moments.
Sombra wasn't the villain, he was the victim taking revenge. And the sight of the frozen mountains bring back memories of what once was.


This is going to be a big story, but expect slow updates as I'm balancing 6th form with it. How joyful. Also the tags are the most prevalent ones, stuff like sex will appear but not only will it be very vague but it also doesn't happen that often. I will put a warning on the chapter its self. Same thing goes for profanity.

Chapters (41)
Comments ( 52 )

I love this so far. Baby Sombra is very cute and it’s nice to see the culture and lifestyle of the Umbrum. I like that they’re portrayed as feeling, living beings rather than just cold and disgusting monsters.

11026731
I never quite liked the comic ones. Normally i don't like the idea of something feeding of an emotion especially if its like hatred or fear. but then I like changelings because there's a consequence of starving if they don't get love. So I felt the comic umbrum to be quite bland because I didn't pick up on any consequences of not getting hate and fear.

slavery by cringe people but magic horses

11027292
Yeah they were kind of bland as they didn’t get much development. It’s nice to see a story where they’re elaborated on.

Can't wait for the wyverns to start attacking South

“Welcome to your new home Freaks”

least ironic pony

You have my attention. I await patiently the next update.

11036023
It'll come soon. However I am now back at school and my A levels are priority. But I will try to wright at the weekends.

11036849
We can wait, I wish you well in your schooling.

Damn, what a read that was. Sombra and his mother thrown into captivity, now is about to be fed along with his tribe to timberwolves.

I'm quite invested in this now. Nice job, mate.

nice chapter.

here's an error:

“did you eat all your tea Hope?”

eat

This is a really nice story I like where it's going. I hope you have as much fun writing it as I do reading it!

11065915
I'm glad you like the story. some parts are defiantly more fun to write than others though. this chapter was a bit of a lug but the ones where the plot moves are far more fun. I just cant write action though which I think is one of the biggest weak points that's going to be in this

Awesome work you did on this story I hope to see more of it cuz I like reading it

I love the chapter you did here it's very touching and gives a new look on him to keep up the good work

Una

I've really fallen in love with this wonderful story. It's brought so many new dimensions to Sombra and hope, so hopefully Celestia or whatever that bird is helps him. It's a shame the chapters arnt longer though.

11080292
I'm happy you do like this chapter, I re-wrote it a lot. also the chapters aren't to long because i like to keep each one to a certain topic. Its also just a preference of mine, I personally don't like really long chapters.
and prepare yourself for the bird. He's possibly one of my favorite characters in this AU. I might need to put the profanity tag on just because of it (totally not a tiny spoil)

“ you will be ” Sombra grabbed the bird into an iron grip of a hug. Opal flapped his wings and wriggled.

Sombra is my kind of person

11108529
Yes he does, but I wont say in which way, although you've probably already guessed. But a little fact is that actual horses groom each other for affection, I wanted to give a little more horsiness to umbrum, or at least a few different actions to ponies. I actually keep forgetting about Sombra's nick name but I think I know a way to get it in, if I remember.

Well, I’ll say one thing, you sure have a good grasp of how to grasp at one’s heartstrings.

I'm balancing 6th form with it.

The sixth form of what?

[img]file:///C:/Users/megan/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.gif[/img] Lunch went by and they headed of to their old Ponish class, which consisted of them figuring out how one writes with shapes. The pronunciations were something.

uh i dont think you should try adding the image directly. you have to upload to imgur and then get the bbcode version of the share link and put that in

“The head teacher phoned, is everything alright?” so sombra explained again what happened, she was mad, but he managed to calm her down by telling her that head teacher was sorting stuff out.

I dont think that there should be phones yet

11240362
i don't know how that image got there, i didn't intend for one, i'll remove it. i'm also going for a sort of industrial revolution era, there not cells phones there like really old block phone things that i wasn't around for. it makes more sense in later chapters

While the story telling in this book is amazing, it is to gruesome for me. It is nothing against you but I could feel myself physically getting sick and I felt a rage I have not felt in a long time while reading this chapter. I will save this book to maybe read later but for now I will have to shelve this book. Do take my upvote though.

“You’ll want to follow that road around and take a left when it splits, If you’re stuck follow the red cables to where they meet up. Also watch your umbrum lads hair and horn, the wires have been raised since but some still hang low in places”

isnt him being umbrum a secret

11405462
not total secret, it will hopefully start falling together later on, but the only people his existence/current home needs to be kept secret from is Amore and any with a similar mindset to her. but also this run down area of town is significantly more chill with umbrum which will also make sense more hopefully in the next few chapters. but in general, hiding someone who is pretty much an entirely different specie to the whole empire would be quite difficult, and i can't lock sombra away in his bedroom the whole time or else there would be no plot (which is coming i promise)

Romance and tragedy. Shakespeare would be proud...I think

school is shitandpoopoo that hutrts brain

dont be sad, you're tyonig is great and youre cahpter is alos great👍

It may be you have an overly agressive spell check program. I've run into those myself from time to time, as well as being victimized by plump didgets. Just in case, the correct form for a couple of your words is as follows:
there = place/location/demonstrative pronoun (Now there is a good idea)
their = possessive form of ownership of something by multiple individuals (That house is theirs.}
they're = contraction of they are (nominitive pronoun showing action or condition) They're in so much trouble now! 😉

And if you want to confuse people you could always say: They're over there in their house.😁

11454134
honestly i just get in arguments with words grama checks on a daily basis, i'll write essays for school and it doesn't pick up completely incorrect words, and given the fact i struggle to read in general it's rare for me to pick them up unless someone tells me, at least your polite about it.

Una

Good story so far! I hope Sombra gets the justice he and everyone else's deserves.

good luck, and hope that the organizing of your ideas go well!

It's alright, I'm sure you will do better next try!

I understand and will respect your choice

This so far is being the best alternate universe of Sombra. Seriously, I loved all the way his past is built and how they remind indigenous villages and families.

Whenever they set out to attack Amore, I always feel that they are going to kill her and it ends up giving me hope that they will break free. Reading the part where Sombra rips her leg off, despite how brutal it was, was satisfying.

(“ QUE PORRA…sim…fudge…isso é…er…eu acho que poderia ter sido pior…heh heh ”)

Same reaction lol
Sombra became an equine version of Toothless.

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