Everything used to be perfect. Sombra was a happy foal, the world was great despite the high chance of freezing. But then it all disappeared. Ripped away in moments.
Sombra wasn't the villain, he was the victim taking revenge. And the sight of the frozen mountains bring back memories of what once was.
This is going to be a big story, but expect slow updates as I'm balancing 6th form with it. How joyful. Also the tags are the most prevalent ones, stuff like sex will appear but not only will it be very vague but it also doesn't happen that often. I will put a warning on the chapter its self. Same thing goes for profanity.
nice so far.
I love this so far. Baby Sombra is very cute and it’s nice to see the culture and lifestyle of the Umbrum. I like that they’re portrayed as feeling, living beings rather than just cold and disgusting monsters.
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I never quite liked the comic ones. Normally i don't like the idea of something feeding of an emotion especially if its like hatred or fear. but then I like changelings because there's a consequence of starving if they don't get love. So I felt the comic umbrum to be quite bland because I didn't pick up on any consequences of not getting hate and fear.
slavery by cringe people but magic horses
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Yeah they were kind of bland as they didn’t get much development. It’s nice to see a story where they’re elaborated on.
Can't wait for the wyverns to start attacking South
least ironic pony
You have my attention. I await patiently the next update.
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It'll come soon. However I am now back at school and my A levels are priority. But I will try to wright at the weekends.
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We can wait, I wish you well in your schooling.
Damn, what a read that was. Sombra and his mother thrown into captivity, now is about to be fed along with his tribe to timberwolves.
I'm quite invested in this now. Nice job, mate.
ship is sailing now
nice chapter.
here's an error:
eat
This is a really nice story I like where it's going. I hope you have as much fun writing it as I do reading it!
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I'm glad you like the story. some parts are defiantly more fun to write than others though. this chapter was a bit of a lug but the ones where the plot moves are far more fun. I just cant write action though which I think is one of the biggest weak points that's going to be in this
Awesome work you did on this story I hope to see more of it cuz I like reading it
I love the chapter you did here it's very touching and gives a new look on him to keep up the good work
Great chapter you got here
I've really fallen in love with this wonderful story. It's brought so many new dimensions to Sombra and hope, so hopefully Celestia or whatever that bird is helps him. It's a shame the chapters arnt longer though.
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I'm happy you do like this chapter, I re-wrote it a lot. also the chapters aren't to long because i like to keep each one to a certain topic. Its also just a preference of mine, I personally don't like really long chapters.
and prepare yourself for the bird. He's possibly one of my favorite characters in this AU. I might need to put the profanity tag on just because of it (totally not a tiny spoil)
Sombra is my kind of person
very nice chapter
Sounds like Sombrero Likes hope
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Yes he does, but I wont say in which way, although you've probably already guessed. But a little fact is that actual horses groom each other for affection, I wanted to give a little more horsiness to umbrum, or at least a few different actions to ponies. I actually keep forgetting about Sombra's nick name but I think I know a way to get it in, if I remember.
Well, I’ll say one thing, you sure have a good grasp of how to grasp at one’s heartstrings.
The sixth form of what?
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6th form = A levels, so further education
uh i dont think you should try adding the image directly. you have to upload to imgur and then get the bbcode version of the share link and put that in
I dont think that there should be phones yet
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i don't know how that image got there, i didn't intend for one, i'll remove it. i'm also going for a sort of industrial revolution era, there not cells phones there like really old block phone things that i wasn't around for. it makes more sense in later chapters
While the story telling in this book is amazing, it is to gruesome for me. It is nothing against you but I could feel myself physically getting sick and I felt a rage I have not felt in a long time while reading this chapter. I will save this book to maybe read later but for now I will have to shelve this book. Do take my upvote though.
good chapter
Yay new chapter. It was good
isnt him being umbrum a secret
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not total secret, it will hopefully start falling together later on, but the only people his existence/current home needs to be kept secret from is Amore and any with a similar mindset to her. but also this run down area of town is significantly more chill with umbrum which will also make sense more hopefully in the next few chapters. but in general, hiding someone who is pretty much an entirely different specie to the whole empire would be quite difficult, and i can't lock sombra away in his bedroom the whole time or else there would be no plot (which is coming i promise)
fat cat
Romance and tragedy. Shakespeare would be proud...I think
school is shitandpoopoo that hutrts brain
dont be sad, you're tyonig is great and youre cahpter is alos great👍
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thanks :) i'm trying
It may be you have an overly agressive spell check program. I've run into those myself from time to time, as well as being victimized by plump didgets. Just in case, the correct form for a couple of your words is as follows:
there = place/location/demonstrative pronoun (Now there is a good idea)
their = possessive form of ownership of something by multiple individuals (That house is theirs.}
they're = contraction of they are (nominitive pronoun showing action or condition) They're in so much trouble now! 😉
And if you want to confuse people you could always say: They're over there in their house.😁
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honestly i just get in arguments with words grama checks on a daily basis, i'll write essays for school and it doesn't pick up completely incorrect words, and given the fact i struggle to read in general it's rare for me to pick them up unless someone tells me, at least your polite about it.
welcome back king. hope all is well
Good story so far! I hope Sombra gets the justice he and everyone else's deserves.
okay
good luck, and hope that the organizing of your ideas go well!
It's alright, I'm sure you will do better next try!
I understand and will respect your choice
This so far is being the best alternate universe of Sombra. Seriously, I loved all the way his past is built and how they remind indigenous villages and families.
Whenever they set out to attack Amore, I always feel that they are going to kill her and it ends up giving me hope that they will break free. Reading the part where Sombra rips her leg off, despite how brutal it was, was satisfying.
Same reaction lol
Sombra became an equine version of Toothless.