Ahhh, yes. The land of Equestria. A magical land of...ponies, really. There are also a few other degenerate races but they are largely unimportant. Who gives a damn about dragons and griffons anyway. RIP Spike
A land in which the rulers do nothing but eat cake and sit on their butts, their guards are more incompetent than a toddler, the police are non-existent and a group of 6 teenagers enforces local law and order in the entire country.
Because upkeeping a police force costs money. Money that would end up not being spent on cake. And no ruler can rule without cake. Especially not if they have a sun on their butt.
Or if they're called Marie Antoinette, but that's a different story...
Proofread by Infuscate and MLPmatthew. Check out their work, too! They truly do deserve it.
Molestia's life matters!
8071169 #MakeMolestiaGreatAgain!
8281630
Heh, thanks!
I didn’t actually make my profile pic myself, I simply found it on Derpibooru. Just type in “Pear Butter” and you’ll find enough cute pics of her
Well, that was a quirky little read.
I'll start by saying you really nailed the characterization on everyone you portrayed (including Twilight in her manic state).
That being said, it could still use some proofreading; there are occasional grammar mistakes littered throughout and the key comedic moments felt a little forced at times.
The only other quip I really have is that the ending felt a little abrupt, when I think you could have come up with something really cool to conclude the story with. Regardless, nice job.
Edit: I didn't realize you'd submitted this story to the review group I'm an administrator of, as I did this of my own free whim.
8287530
>"I did this of my own free whim"
You madman.
Thanks for the helpful feedback though! I'll be sure to improve upon my skills ^-^
8288185
No problem.
I get ambitious at one in the morning.
what were you on when you wrote this and where can i get some?
8366492
Memes. Memes and a whole lot of 4chan/Reddit.
You can get it at every corner of the internet.
This review is brought to you by the group, "A for Effort".
Name of Story: Twilight Sparkles Unhealthy Addiction to Books
Total Score out of 10: 6/10
Pros: Decent grammar, could only find a few flaws. Pretty decent pacing. The characters act in character, but only if this happened in season one.
Cons: The dialogue felt bland and contrived. You self-referenced yourself MANY times, which breaks immersion and is a big no-no, even if this story is a joke.
Additional Notes: None.
8415480
Can’t argue with that, though this story was a joke, as most of my comedy fics are.
Still, many thanks for the review!
8415956
8416356
I don’t see you denying it.
8416358
I was trying to point out a grammar error
8416359
I don’t see a grammar error here.
Silly pone. It’s ok, I’ll forgive you this time.
8416362
Police is a plural term, so you want to say:
or better yet
8416398
Oh riiiight, I completely forgot about that. Sorry, happens when you’re not a native speaker
Yes! TwiLestia is second best Twilight ship! It is only outdone by TwiDash!